Ouch, I just got stung by a hornet on the cheek!

Seriously, why were you mooning a hornet?

Hey! You should make your sting your entire identity. Like totally play it up and wear clothes that show off the bump more. You know, like you meant for that to happen.

Oh look! It's that guy with the really cool bump on his face! No wait - he has 2?!!

(And thus began my career as Tawdry Tep, Preteen Nudist, but that's a tale for another time...)

put mud on your cheek. seriously. put it on, let it dry, and then pull it off (the mud, that is). not sure about hornets but it pulls out yellowjacket and wasp stings very nicely. plus it's nice and cool when it's hot, and you can pretend to be vain and say it's some sort of special low-fat brazilian grecian water-camel exfoliating mud facial treatment...

(makes note on clipboard)

I should try curing more common pains with cheese. what kind was it?

and hell, if they help bee stings then even more reason to buy them!

2020: Release the Murder Hornets.

With queens that can grow to two inches long, Asian giant hornets can use mandibles shaped like spiked shark fins to wipe out a honeybee hive in a matter of hours, decapitating the bees and flying away with the thoraxes to feed their young. For larger targets, the hornet’s potent venom and stinger — long enough to puncture a beekeeping suit — make for an excruciating combination that victims have likened to hot metal driving into their skin.

Jun-ichi Takahashi, a researcher at Kyoto Sangyo University in Japan, said the species had earned the “murder hornet” nickname there because its aggressive group attacks can expose victims to doses of toxic venom equivalent to that of a venomous snake.

very good

More good news from Sanpaku, reliable as ever.

nature is returning, we are the virus

just need to teach them to live in peace and not be such radge bastards and put their energy into making honey rather than committing intraspecies genocide.

I saw this doc on them that featured a Asian Hornet colony exterminator, he hammed it a bit for the cameras like he was a noble samurai on mission to destroy evil!

it also featured people who've been attacked by them and just one sting leaves a scar that looks like a bullet wound, that's if you don't die from anaphylactic shock!

anaphylactic shock from an ordinary small wasp can kill you so pffft to that, these murder guys aren't so special

Don't believe the hype(noptera).

I know but we don't don't tend to pack syringes of adrenaline and anti-venom like some do in Southern hemisphere countries, we tend to go with the better odds of not dying over here.

A few years ago me and my son got attacked by a swarm of wasps. I still get the chills when I recall looking down at the blanket of wasps covering the entire back of my jeans and then Alex pulled his tracksuit bottoms down so they were stinging his bare legs and he was screaming his head off .. it was just sheer panic!

"mandibles shaped like spiked shark fins" is a weirdly clunky description: say "fearsome spiked mandibles!"

"sickle-shaped" if you absolutely must supply a non-insecty shape

lol i can't top that story calz, every time you tell it i'm like "i'm gnna be quiet for a bit now"

The worst bit is I didn't notice until we'd got home there was still one wasp down Alex's tracksuit bottoms, no doubt repeatedly stinging him all the way. Even when I'd took it out of the game I was that angry I killed it a few more times! I became quite radicalised and bought one of them electric tennis racquets and adopted a vengeful kill on sight policy. I used to try and give them a sporting chance by encouraging them to leave by asking them politely before then!

we have various types of wasps in my neighborhood. there's these mud-daubers, as they're known, who aren't necessarily aggressive, that are insisting on nesting around and in nooks in our building. one wormed its way into my kitchen somehow yesterday and i got it to fly into a closet. now waiting two months before i try to open that again. also, the lol closet door completely unhinged as i was closing it. great timing.

your experience sounds like a total nightmare, calz