Lies you will take to the grave

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What lies will you never come clean about, regardless of how trivial and old they are?

― Scaredy Cat, Friday, 11 July 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

This is an unanswerable thread.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Friday, 11 July 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know, you could kind of allude to things or become anonymous.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I recently revealed to my sister the truth behind the time I cut my head open twenty years ago.
I had a broken arm at the time, and I was climbing a great tree in a neighbour's yard. Since I didn't want to tell my parents that I was doing either (how do you think I broke my arm in the first place?), I told them that I fell down in the back alley while running, instead of falling out of a tree face-first into a rock.
After my dad took me to the emergency clinic, bleeding profusely from my forehead, with an arm already in a cast, somebody from social services came to visit us to make sure that he wasn't beating me up. I felt really bad about that.
So, it's not to my grave. So whatever.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i was the gunman on the grassy knoll

― mark s (mark s), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

This is an unanswerable thread.

;-)

It's a trick. A trap, if you will.

But, you could use it to "come clean", get it off your chest, without informing those who you've told the lie to. Like confession.

― Scaredy Cat, Friday, 11 July 2003 15:28 (twenty-two years ago)

It's a trick. A trap, if you will.

http://www.randomhouse.com/delrey/sample/sw_encyclopedia/akbar.gif
"IT'S A TRAP!"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Is there anyone from the same plane as Akbar in the new Star Wars? I liked him.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 15:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I think they're all from the same plane.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

The time I shit my pants in college, to this day people think I "fell through the ice, into the pond."

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i shot the sheriff.

― joan vich (joan vich), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Then why did they used to call you "Poops McGee," my naïve friend?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I shot Deputy Dawg
http://www.tomheroes.com/images/deputy_dawg.gif

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

har, har. Tenacious D lyric.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, whatever, liar.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I walked in on a dude masturbating in the bathroom once while I was in high school. It was among the most disturbing images I've ever witnessed. I told no one, not out of respect for him, but out of hopes that the memory would go the fuck away forever. I guess it didn't work.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:32 (twenty-two years ago)

that was you!

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:33 (twenty-two years ago)

I will be more than happy to admit shitting my pants. But back then, when trying to score some ass going around campus telling everyone "Hi, Im Chris and I like to make boom in my pants." Wasn't cuttin it.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Do I ask how this happened?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:35 (twenty-two years ago)

What shitting my pants? Sure, I'll tell ya. Drinking all day and all night, was at a girl I liked room. Went to go back to my room at 4am, got to my dorm, was locked out. Decided to smoke a cigarette, instant stomach pains. No way to get in anywhere. Called my roomate from a campus emergency phone, started walking back to get keys. Farted, shit. Couldn't go meet roomate with a steamer in my pants, encountered some poeple coming out of a dorm, ran inside. hopped in the shower with all my clothes on. Cleaned myself off, called roomie again. Mind you its mid-winter and im walking across campus soaked in wet stinky clothes. Roomate asked what happened, my answer "I fell in the pond". End shit.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:40 (twenty-two years ago)

My friend "Paco" once shat his pants hard at a party after eating 18 percosets in one night. He then got up on the kitchen table and danced until he fell down...still in brownified drawers. I watched in disturbed amazement from my keyboard pit (the band I was in was playing this party).

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

So when is someone starting the "Have you ever shit your pants" thread? Its inevitable.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:44 (twenty-two years ago)

which is inevitable?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:45 (twenty-two years ago)

shitting your pants, and the thread. everyone has shit their pants, they're all just too scared to admit it.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:47 (twenty-two years ago)

18 percosets!!!!!!

!!!!!!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never shat my pants but I will if someone gives me 18 percosets.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 11 July 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

To divert this thread completely, once I made out with my sister because she wanted to know what kissing was like. This is easily the most disturbing thing I've ever done.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Did she then shit her pants?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

I am wsnking as I wite ths

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know if what Ally posted is really really hot, or really really gross. Both I guess.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like a scene from a VC Andrews novel or something.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh yeah?
Damn! I think my parents still have my sister's old VCA books in the garage. I gotta get those out for the long, lonely nights.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I am just realising how totally apropos of nothing Ally's post was. Which makes it all the freakier.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally might I suggest a volunteer opportunity?

http://www.bbbsa.org/_images/logo_bbbsa.gif

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I was trying to get the conversation away from situations-that-require-adult-diapers.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

The Sisters Grimm do porn together now. It would be illegal if they were male and female, wouldn't it? Isn't it illegal to fuck your sister?

― Scaredy Cat, Friday, 11 July 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38136000/jpg/_38136948_whitestripes150.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Rick Santorum to thread!

― amateurist (amateurist), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I just realized that the name of this thread is "Lies you will take to the grave" and not "Secrets you will take to the grave". I'm so friggin daft.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Lies and Secrets are kissin' cousins, right Ally?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Well I lied about what we were doing when my other sister walked in.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

this just keeps getting hotter!!!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Boys are sick, dude. Doesn't anyone besides me and Chris have a really disgusting lie to share?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Not really, no.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 11 July 2003 18:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, might I ask how old you and your sister were?

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

(it impacts on Jeanne's fantasy)

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

and what were you wearing?

― j-eanne f-ury (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Old enough to have not been doing that. AND N. AND HORACE NEED TO SHUT UP NOW.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I will take this image to my grave.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

okay, are you pretending to be mad because it's funny or are you really mad/upst and want us/me to lay off?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm mad that you and N. aren't making out.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:15 (twenty-two years ago)

with my sister

― A.l.l.y. (Horace Mann), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I'm really not introducing her to any of you.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:18 (twenty-two years ago)

You're keeping her for yourself, right?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I sold her to Ned at the FAP, actually.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Way to kill a fantasy: introduce Ned Raggett into it.

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

This just gets better and better.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:23 (twenty-two years ago)

N. is jealous.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess he's getting tired of the slugs.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, do you have a photo of you and your sister making out that someone could photoshop Ned into?

― N. (nickdastoor), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

He doesn't like the slugs but the slugs like him.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, stop trying to divert the subject from your slug fucking, N.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Hoo boy, that's the most transparent ploy since "Could you bend over and pick that up for me?"

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

or possibly the weapons of mass destruction stuff, even.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

He doesn't even know which sister it was! He's so bloody easy.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:29 (twenty-two years ago)

Incidentally, I don't think it's all that gross that Ally went out of her way to show her sister how to make out. Not sure why. >>feels Matos lurking in the corners waiting to pounce on that one<<

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

What I find curious is that your sister was old enough to know better and apparently attractive (based on the comments of others), so why did she have to turn to her own sister for kissing lessons instead of any perfectly willing male, or even a female friend? You must be very close.

― NA. (Nick A.), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:44 (twenty-two years ago)

its not gross at all - actually there was this one time with me and my brother where we...um, never mind

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

"Old enough" doesn't necessarily mean like 20! Like more 13 or 14 and she didn't know any dudes she liked.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

But apparently she "liked" you well enough.

OK, that just sounds creepy. Sorry.

― NA. (Nick A.), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:47 (twenty-two years ago)

It's too late, Ally; you've made thread go all Alyssa Milano soft-core.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually, this happened two days ago. Cheers!

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

(Now it's all Skinemax.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 11 July 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

gavareet po russki, yo!

― Tad (llamasfur), Friday, 11 July 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

actually, Jeanne, I can't imagine doing that favor for my sisters. but hey.

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 11 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I think we're all forgetting what's important here. Namely, that Chris shat his pants. As an adult. And admitted to it.

― Horace visiting his parents, Friday, 11 July 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Yr all a bunch of freaks.

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 12 July 2003 02:36 (twenty-two years ago)

"I didn't do it" - when really, I did. And anyone who believed I didn't was a special kind fo stupid.

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 03:51 (twenty-two years ago)

"I didn't do it" - when really, I did. And anyone who believed I didn't was a special kind fo stupid.

I think I know who you are and I knew you did it, you slut!

― sukebe, Saturday, 12 July 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh no, everyone knows about THAT. This is another thing entirely.

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally and Luna are stepping around the truth here. . .They're left/right coast versions of ME!

― That Girl (thatgirl), Saturday, 12 July 2003 07:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe you're the Texas version of us!

Hell, we're just kindred spirits!

― luna (luna.c), Saturday, 12 July 2003 07:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i keep seeing this thread title and wondering what lies i have told that i would take to the grave.
dunno really, there is always at least one person who knows the truth about certain situations, so i dont think i have any 'grave-baggage'.
its always interesting how threads lose their 'thing' at some point and turn into something else. isnt it?

― donna (donna), Saturday, 12 July 2003 07:59 (twenty-two years ago)

seventeen years pass...

When i was a teen, I was a witness to a brutal brawl that ended up with one guy hospitalized. I told the officers I knew neither man, and had just been biking by. In reality, I was more involved.

When I was a kid, especially a teen, I didn't have many friends, so I enjoyed prank calls. Sometimes I'd prank radio shows, randos.

One day, foolish as I was, I fouud someone in the phone book with a funny name. I called him to deliver a elaborate joke based on his name. But when he answered, I started giggling and couldn't remember what I was going to say. So I just yelled "You're a jerk, man!" and hung up. Was surprised he didn't star 69 ne and call back.

Next time I was at school, waiting to be picked up, and I decided to call the same number from a pay phone. He answered, and I yelled "You're a jerk, man!" again and hung up. Later that week, I did it again, three more times. I got answering machine twice but still left it as a message.

A week later, I got tired of that guy, found another number to start pranking. And I did the same thing - "you're a jerk!" and hang up. After a week of that, i heard him start to talk as i was hanging up. He said "tell me who you are, pussy!". I gave him the other guy's name and phone number and told him to come to the park just outside Lake Mary at 2 if he wanted to go.

Then I called the first number back. Took me three tries to get through, but he finally answered, and i yelled "You're a jerk man!", and told him to be at the Lake Mary park at 2 so we could settle this.

I was a teen. A cowardly teen. I didn't think they'd DO it. Well, my conscience was getting to me and I decided to ride my bike just to make sure nothing was happening.

To my horror, these two guys were whaling on each other, WWF style. I leapt off my bike, screamed "Noooooooo!", and ran to the nearest guy. I grabbed and began pulling his leg....

Kinda like I'm doing to you right now

― Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 16:57 (five years ago)

whaling on each other, WWF (World Wildlife Fund) style
wailing on each other, WWF (World Wrestling Federation) style

― the burrito that defined a generation, Saturday, 5 September 2020 17:18 (five years ago)

This thread might become more interesting if, instead of revealing old lies, it were used for telling one another some lies which we shall subsequently take to our graves.

― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Saturday, 5 September 2020 21:10 (five years ago)

I'm not Momus.

― Neanderthal, Saturday, 5 September 2020 21:12 (five years ago)

When I was a wee broth of a lad, when I was supposed to be napping in my crib in the afternoon (a supposition much favored by my mother, who wished a few moments of quiet in the midst of her day) I used to amuse myself by quietly babbling interesting sounds strung together, just to get the feel of them in my mouth and the sound of them in my ear. One day in the process of doing so I inadvertently invented several new profanities and blasphemies. They shall accompany me to the grave, unspoken.

― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Saturday, 5 September 2020 23:00 (five years ago)

"I didn't do it" - when really, I did. And anyone who believed I didn't was a special kind fo stupid.
― luna (luna.c), Friday, July 11, 2003 8:51 PM (seventeen years ago)

― sarahell, Saturday, 5 September 2020 23:22 (five years ago)

And yet, the opposite was the truth

― Mark G, Sunday, 6 September 2020 08:12 (five years ago)

When I was six, I drew a comic book with naked and sexually active aliens, only their bodies were not like human or animal bodies, so my mom didn't know they were supposed to be naked and which parts were their genitalia.

Even though I'm no prude - I grew up near a notorious red light district and saw my first porn mag when I was, I dunno, five - I have always felt shame about this. Seeing it typed out here, I realize this is, in fact, NBD and even funny.

― Alpha 666, The Number of the Beast (I M Losted), Monday, 7 September 2020 13:21 (five years ago)

Also, two of my very good friends - with whom I am still close friends - molested me when we were little. It comes to mind whenever I chat with them on FB. They're both great people today, and I forgive them, but at the time it was in no way consensual and I felt violated and angry.

― Alpha 666, The Number of the Beast (I M Losted), Monday, 7 September 2020 13:25 (five years ago)

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