what is a date?

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what is 'dating'?

americans seem to 'date', be 'dating' etc etc.

im not aware of british people doing this. but ed's sister was going on a 'date' yesterday. so what is a 'date', even. and if you are 'dating', do you just 'go on a date', like, everyday?

is going on a date, just, well, going somewhere with someone you fancy/love/etc?

cos i do that, but im not aware of 'dating' anyone.......

so clear up the sociological/linguistic confusion.

― ambrose, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

[x] is dating [y] = [x] and [y] are dating = [x] and [y] are an item or stepping out or (possibly) having a thing
[x] has a date tonight = [x] is meeting persons unknown (sing.) going to see Moulin Rouge and then maybe take in Chinese in Lisle street (don't have the duck webs and fishlips, [x]: persons unknown will take FRIGHT!!) or if it's late chill together at Starbucks (standing up for the first 20 minutes).

― mark s, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A date is a pre-arranged meeting between two people. At least one of these people must have romantic or sexual intentions on the other, and both must be aware of these intentions. The exception is blind dates, where the intentions can be vicariously held by the setter-up of the date.

― Tom, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

At the beginning of my current relationship my now special friend and I went on dates a lot. It was very exciting

I think the date thing implies no real commitment, you're just testing the water with each other.

I remember in the past going on what I thought was a date with a female friend, and what she thought was just a pleasant evening out. It was an ultimately frustrating experience.

― DV, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Brit youth learned the concept of *dating* from Buffy and Saved By The Bell some time in the 90s.

Ten years ago UK schoolkids *went out with* each-other, perhaps after a nervous *asking them out* at a party or whatever. This meant exclusivity and snogging / shagging depending on age, until one *dumped* the other. The point is: they were immediately a full-on couple from the word go. Only since the invasion of Yank teen TV has the *casual few dates* idea caught on. It's a vast improvement, I reckon, takes the pressure off the whole process. This is my Dad's theory by the way, he's taught drama for 30 years.

― chris, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I am a figs gal myself. *pling*

― nathalie, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

From my extremely limited first-hand experience but mainly thru watching my friends, I think that "casual dating" to test out the waters is an excuse for people who are either too lazy or stupid to decide if they "like" someone or not. Which means 99 times out of a hundred that you DON'T. So da doo dud dud.

"dating" with an "ing" on the end often used as euphemism for sex. "Yeah we were dating for a while..."

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I don't know what you're talking about........theres some distant memories of the word being used to describe a food of some sort....other than that nothing

― Ronan, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The best date I ever had was Tuesday 24th October 2000.

― Trevor, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Tom's definition is right-on, except for the "both aware of sexual tension" thing. Unless you live in an idealized world, Tom, where the intentions of all people are readily apparent and available to interested parties for consideration.

A week or so ago, I met up with a female friend from high school in Cambridge. We went to dinner, had some sushi and some nice conversation. I invited her to a coffee house about 15-20 minutes away by foot; we walked, had more nice conversation. We ordered coffee-type drinks, had more nice conversation. I walked her back to her T stop, we said goodbye, and parted ways. It was a nice, friendly evening, something I'd like to do again. No pressure - it was all good.

Until I get it into my head (via a friend being a nosy busybody) that I might've been on a DATE, and now I'm all confused. Was there something happening? She's attractive, yes, but do I want to date her? Does she even "like" me in that way? Does she think I think of her that way? Am I thinking of her that way? Blah blah blah blah? Maybe I can pass her a note in History class to see if she like-likes me, yeah?

Fuck dating - I spend time with friends. Survey says DUD!

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK, 'aware of' or 'suspect' - what you were on was not a date because you didn't want it to be one and you were unaware she did. Non-dates of this kind can end up in all sorts of ways, of course ;) But that doesn't make them dates.

Taking sides: going out for a while before having sex, or having sex for a while before 'going out'?

― Tom, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I remember in the past going on what I thought was a date with a female friend, and what she thought was just a pleasant evening out.

I've had this happen to me as well. It was doubly frustrating cos I ended up sleeping in her bed whilst she shagged her ex-boyfriend down the road.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If I think I'm interested in someone beyond just one "date", then I'm on the side of waiting for sex. If the whole point is sex, then I'm in favor of jumping into it ASAP.

― Sean, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Perhaps confusion about word "date" = confusion during "date" ?

― Tracer Hand, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

More... since I've broken up with my boyfriend, I have a renewed interest in dating. In the past I've met people, decided I liked them, and gone out with them for a (relatively) extended period, and haven't done the "one or two dates" thing much. But now I kind of want to. To take my mind off the past, meet new people, have something to do, get laid. I've been on a couple dates with this one kid, he's cute, seems nice, and is interested in me... I don't forsee any big relationship developing, but I'm gonna go with it. AND... met another way cute boy last weekend with some other friends... got a call the next day from my friend saying this boy wanted him to pass along the message that he thought I was "cute and nice"... felt damn good, and the fact that he's almost 13 years my junior proves my devastating sex appeal hasn't faded yet!!

― Sean, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I think Tom should offer his sage advise on relationships and love on the interweb. I feel much better about myself after his response. Plus, my gout's totally gone! Thanks, Tom!

Sorry if I seem a bit out of sorts. I am under the influence of Sperel. (Thanks, Mik e.)

― David Raposa, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I wuv advising.

― Tom, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kids here do the sort of "dating" where you're automatically a monogamous couple for somewhere between a week and a year, followed by a messy sobbing breakup. It is stupid. It would be much simpler to find a date for homecoming if there wasn't that "commitment" connotation tacked onto going ANYwhere with ANYbody.

― Maria, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love sperel.

― Samantha, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I love Sperel more.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

if that's what they are then to the best of my knowledge I've never been on one. (unless going to the cinema with ambrose counts) ;-)

― Ed, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I've never had intentions for ambrose though.

― Ed, Wednesday, 19 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Dating is silly

― anthony, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

In my language it is only used in the phrase 'hot date' e.g. you are tarting yourself up in the office toilets after work & a colleague comes in and says 'ooh you look nice do you have a hot date?' meaning 'are you off to meet a BOY?'

― Emma, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Hrrmmm, what is "dating"? Good question, when someone referred to themselves as "dating" me, even though we were actually living together at the time. Very curious.

Although I spend most of my life thinking dating = big, fat, DUD (probably because I wasn't asked on enough dates during developmental years to ever get used to them as anything other than an obscure form of social torture) lately I have decided that going on Dates (i.e. making an effort to get together with person, getting all spiffed up to show that you care, and doing something FUN) = Major Classic.

― Kate the Saint, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wanted: meaning, for the hitherto little-used phrased "cold date"

― mark s, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cold date = date at the dogs, it is cold there. Or date with someone you don't fancy OR date that ends with no physical contact having taken place.

― Emma, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The date between Elton John and Russian beauty Nikita in the song "Nikita" is a cold date on every level - it's cold in Russia, it was the cold WAR do you see do you, and also all things considered it probably would have ended without physical contact.

― Tom, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I thought Nikita was about Khrushchev and the woman in the video was just a beard.

― Nick, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Couldn't it be one where the person hated you or something? Cold in the sense that Foreigner meant........and more recently M.O.P.

― Ronan, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Cold blind date: where yr friends so-called set you up with your WORST ENEMY!!

― mark s, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

some friends.

― Maria, Thursday, 20 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Times like these, I wish I had cold friends and hot enemies.

― Cryosmurf, Saturday, 22 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

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