Another old guy mows over some more people with his car

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"FLAGLER BEACH, Fla. -- A 79-year-old man apparently lost control of his car and plowed into a northern Florida farmer's market Friday, sending six people to hospitals, law officers said. ..."

So, I think lawmakers around the country are already gearing up their powerpoint slides for why we should ban old people in the U.S.

...

I never noticed how much more reactionary our law-making system seems in the US than I noticed before. And there's less and less attention paid to forethought or even the immediate consequences of passing such laws...(speaking VERY generally here...)

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Granted, this new story is different because there's no mention of doubt of the driver's abilities, but more a case of a faulty piece of equipment. Still, it just takes a headline to shock a nation of millions.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:06 (twenty-three years ago)

AOL's headline for the last one was great:

Too Fast, Too Feeble

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't wait to hear the Ludacris song for that one.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

It samples "Help the Aged."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude I am having the most utterly worthless piece of shit day and the title to this thread finally made me laugh and feel good. Thank you donut.

P.S. I want to grow old and "lose control" of my car too! Time go faster plz thx

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:10 (twenty-three years ago)

It samples "Help the Aged."

Alternately, "Help! The Aged!"

Well, off to hell.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

"you just bought you and your walker a new pair of SHOES, now what you gonna DO??"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:11 (twenty-three years ago)

lol

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-three years ago)

ACT THE...

now what was it again? and where are my keys?

*follows ned*

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:12 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm serious they should investigate this guy as a copycat killer. He totally bit that other dude's steez.

This reminds me of the time we were riding up to the enlistment station in Nashville and saw this crotchety bastard driving his pickup truck at about 35mph THE WRONG WAY on an EXIT RAMP. Everybody else was puzzled and thought he must be insane, but I knew he was just a bored codger out looking for some stupid kicks.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:13 (twenty-three years ago)

i guess a walker's shoes would be like when old people put tennis balls on the bottom of the legs for traction

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:13 (twenty-three years ago)

I knew he was just a bored codger out looking for some stupid kicks.

Or a very sad alzheimer's victim.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

"your social security bounced and it's already SPENT what you gonna DO??"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:16 (twenty-three years ago)

with special guests MC Lark, Elder Lee, and the Jerry ATRIXX Clan

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Dude I totally want to go out and hit people with my car now and blame it on my age!! but I'm only 25 WTF.

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:25 (twenty-three years ago)

This sucks because by the time I get old enough to do this cars will fly themselves!! Fucking shit

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:26 (twenty-three years ago)

Tell 'em you have progeria.

― oops (Oops), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:26 (twenty-three years ago)

tell them you have a kidney disorder

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

count in dog years.

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

and howl while scratching yourself

― oops (Oops), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:28 (twenty-three years ago)

HI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:28 (twenty-three years ago)

"a 175-year-old doggie lost control of his volkswagen and drove through Little Italy smearing 37 tourists and at least a dozen waiters"

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:31 (twenty-three years ago)

WELCOME!!!!!!!!!

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:33 (twenty-three years ago)

clearly the message here is to stay away from the farmer's market!

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 25 July 2003 21:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I bet this is big agribusiness' doing.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 25 July 2003 22:29 (twenty-three years ago)

*calls Monsanto, asks for an offer*

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 25 July 2003 22:30 (twenty-three years ago)

"to complain about the Goofy Gopher Revue, press one"

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Friday, 25 July 2003 22:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah - Millar's right, I think it's fishy.

What if it's a The Birds type scenario and these old folk just keep on attacking?

― N. (nickdastoor), Saturday, 26 July 2003 00:35 (twenty-three years ago)

And they all drive Lincolns! We're fucked.

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:02 (twenty-three years ago)

"we've got to close the fruit stands and duck ponds!"

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Bingo hall stakeouts will increase as needed

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:12 (twenty-three years ago)

yes.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Saturday, 26 July 2003 02:26 (twenty-three years ago)

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