Why are my coworkers such sociopathic dicks?

I don't think I'd be able to resist having a word with Tony and telling him what I thought was happening. If you are well enough in with Josh/Russell you could try to nudge them.

But basically: the bastards.

He later fired them in advance--they are expected to do their jobs "properly" until year end at which time they will no longer have jobs with our company. This has resulted in meetings in which the members of this department have straight-faced recommended plating my entire building in gold to "improve, like, life."

(there are rare cases where the last sentence does not hold true but I'd be hard pressed to think of more than two and this is not one of them)

Tony, OTOH, is not going to do something like that. He's v. mild mannered and nice and not at all insane bitch coworker who has gotten into screaming matches with people here.

What I am thinking is I need to let him know that he should not be waiting on this apt at all. The job stuff I need to keep to myself because it might not be true. At all. What is true one day here is not true the next day and by telling him it might become self-fulfilling prophency in a way.

That being said, like he's not smart enough to figure out wtf he's not getting an apt for.

Because, honestly, the bosses are being jerks, but this guy is also not helping himself if he is WAITING for things to work out for him and not considering alternatives. You did say he was lazy, and you shouldn't have to risk bringing the wrath of the powers-that-be onto you by telling this guy exactly what is happening - because wouldn't your bosses know where the info came from?

not to sound cynical, but if I've learned anything in the past year or so, it's that powerful people didn't get where they are by looking out for others, and it's no use to expect them to start.

The only thing you'd be doing by taking him aside and telling him what you know is validating his fears and making yourself vulnerable.

What he's debating in his own mind is whether to ask the right person formally, "am I not getting the apt because you're thinking about laying me off?". If the implied message isn't forcing him to get his act together, then it's honestly not that important to him, right?

If he does ask you if you know anything, tell him that you honestly don't, because things do change from day to day and you're not the one making the decision.

The getting in trouble thing is a big issue, I need to keep this job til year end and not get huge repercussions that will, you know, destroy my bonus which I really need. I was penalized last year for, basically, remaining friends with two unceremoniously laid-off coworkers on the concept that I might "give away secrets" (!!! I'm not sure what about!!), and I was basically asked to no longer remain in contact with Lucy Liu and Cameron D. Which didn't happen--I kind of spitefully put a photograph of the three of us on my desk for a long time but realized that wasn't getting me much of anywhere with people treating me any better.

Basically I don't want a massive repeat.

I'm thinking of putting a note on his desk writing down an apt address I saw, to check it out and not wait for company--I've already tried discouraging him (bad idea living with yr fucking coworkers anyway).

(also, east coast business in super west coast business attitude shocker.)

but as a tip, UB, this entirely depends on your stance with the company. do you want to risk putting yourself on the stop to help tony get a clue about his situation? you have complained about your workplace many many times in the past... but i still am not sure how much you care to risk making your current job situation more awkward, so i can't really give advice until you clarify that

I need this job thru year end for financial reasons. As noted, I live in said building. As also noted, they kick you out v. nastylike on the street. I can't afford to find a new place to live.

"Useless Ballerina just told me you're gonna lay me off. WTF?"

(haha, i don't know tony, but that HAS happened before with a friend of mine... )

then it's honestly not that important to him, right?

is overly harsh; perhaps the job is really important for his child's welfare and he needs to just grow up a bit. And maybe the job and the people (UB excluded of course) are soul-destroying etc.

If there's a reasonable expectation in the Josh and Russell's mind that you know, hinting is a really bad idea, IMHO. If he goes to them and says "I was talking to Ms. Ballerina, and she says I should get in writing that I'm staying on because (fill in made-up reason here)" then you're boned.

But you can't not tell him (YES this is about the kid, YES this sucks), so you should probably tell him, and point out that whatever he does, if they find out that you told him, you, who is giving him some heads-up on the situation, will be boned. If he's a nice guy, he'll do right by you. Or is he the sort that will storm into Josh's office?

Also, Jesus Christ.

Yes, you're taking a risk. But if want to eliminate selfishness of this sort from your workplace, start with yourself. Not others. Do the little that you can.

Tell him.

Also, who wants to live with their coworkers anyway? Why not just put a matteress under your desk and be done.

lol what a weird ass story to open this thread! i know i should be bumping the 'let's bitch about our annoying coworkers' thread but i can't find it and this is a pointless rant, who cares, etc.

i turned 40 last year. i started my current job 3 years ago. i haven't exactly been a "rising star" in my profession - i sort of wandered around from 2017 to 2021 and now i'm back at entry level. but i've started to notice and get a little distressed by how much more common a lack of basic decency is among people at the management and executive level than i imagined there ever really would be. things like being the sole person involved in a project or decision, completely fucking up the details, and letting everyone else deal with the fallout. or just being such a conflict-avoidant leader that someone clearly in the wrong is never held accountable. it's been a parade of all kinds of horseshit since i started working. the offenders never ever take responsibility for anything. obv i'm not perfect but i will take responsibility if i'm out of line. there is a manager where i work now who actually does too, even if / especially when something isn't his fault, and it's like 'omg i want to work with you' because it's such a rare quality in my experience! my coworkers haven't been all bad but i'd say that 30% have been REALLY bad and another 40% just enabled or got rolled over by the bad ones, making it worse. i spent several years early on thinking 'it's going to be better once i get to x job or x level' but that hasn't been the case so far. i'm a middle aged man and i'm just noticing more adults who are incredibly childish, narcissistic, sociopathic, chaotic, selfish, idiotic, etc etc., and that so many of those adults seem to be in positions of power. a range of voices from marxist academics to office space types would be like "of course, duh, for reason x", but there's still a little part of me that wishes it weren't so true, because it's depressing and bewildering to be expected to put myself to work for little bitches all the time lmao.

I wonder what happened to Tony.

xpost there are rarely adults in the room in any corporation. people with souls who get promoted to higher positions tend to get taken advantage of because they're the sole individuals who will take responsibility and care more about honesty and integrity with their peers than being seen as 'right'. and they eventually leave after the job depletes them. higher level positions attract sharks, people that don't care about other people's feelings, and actually enjoy the feeling of 'being important'.

I've found taking accountability has become more difficult because people love to headhunt rather than let people fuck up and grow from it, so it gets to the point where you feel like you HAVE to protect yourself by painting an elaborate portrait of why it somehow isn't your fault. to the point where you don't even realize you're doing it.

on the one hand, you get more perks and advantages getting promoted higher and higher up, but you may also see and be exposed to shit that makes you want to retch as well. being entry level means you get treated like shit in many companies, naturally, but there's degrees to these things - they may tell you "no, you can't have Saturday off, and quit asking", whereas a higher ranking manager might be told "forget that two week vacation you were told you can have, you are working all weekend to fix this situation or you don't work here anymore". and it's hider to float under the radar in a higher ranking position.

(which isn't to say don't take a promotion, some people are better at navigating the swamp than others!)

nothing ever made me realize how right I was to demote myself from a senior management position when I heard other managers bragging about times they fired people and laughing about the stories. it was a client dinner so I couldn't just leave, but I was tempted to fake a sick child (except I had already told them I didn't ahve kids)