Hands off, this is the Pants Police!!

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An article in todays Age that boggles the mind:

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/2003/08/05/1059849391835.html

"Be the first to know instead of the last!

This catchy slogan is being used to sell TeenScreen,
a new test kit designed to help parents track their
daughters' sexual activities. The semen detection
system allows parents to "monitor your child's sexual
activity from the privacy of your own home" by identifying
traces of semen on undergarments or other clothing,
sheets, car upholstery or furniture."

Does anyone honestly think they'd achieve much using this kit?

I'm just losing it thinking of pants police, personally...

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:44 (twenty-three years ago)

ewww

― s1utsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:47 (twenty-three years ago)

This is exactly what got Bill Clinton in trouble. This is no laughing matter.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:47 (twenty-three years ago)

the idea of parents sniffing around for semen on their children's clothing is just disgusting for so many reasons

― s1utsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:48 (twenty-three years ago)

As the article points out, the hideous lack of trust on the parent's part to even consider such a thing is really, really fucking sad.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Besides, as always, the lesbians'll get away with everything.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:52 (twenty-three years ago)

This is why teenagers should get cars with vinyl seats! No semen check makes the summer-ass-melting worthwhile.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:53 (twenty-three years ago)

Besides, as always, the lesbians'll get away with everything.

No AIDS, no pregnancy, no ejaculate. They're like ninjas.

― Captain Typo (kenan), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:54 (twenty-three years ago)

The Ninjas Of Sex.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 02:57 (twenty-three years ago)

OMGWTF the world is going to be overtaken by tATU, argh, fleee!

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Run away! Run away!

... I'll ... be right here ... making sure that you, um, run away. COVERING you, yeah. Distracting the mighty ... and evil ... forces ... of Tatu.

Right here.

Just in case.

Run along now.

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:04 (twenty-three years ago)

don't forget to swab the cheeks

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure I want to ask which cheeks.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:24 (twenty-three years ago)

A Japanese company already markets something like this, targeted to wives who suspect their husbands of fooling around. It's just a simple case of growing one's business.

― j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:27 (twenty-three years ago)

The Pants Police!
They come to me in my bed!
Oh NOOOOOOoooooo!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 03:41 (twenty-three years ago)

do you guys remember the spray they used to sell to parents that would make any residual microscopic pot dust on jeans, bureau, etc. glow in the dark?

maybe i was just really paranoid, i swear it exists

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 04:33 (twenty-three years ago)

is that sold by the same company that makes the pool chemical that makes your pee turn purple?

― s1utsky (slutsky), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 04:51 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course the whole Teenscreen kit project would fall apart if the family had a teenage son as well, in which case there'd be traces of semen all over the entire house.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 04:54 (twenty-three years ago)

There has to be some kind of chemical that shows traces of pot, because Customs use it. I'm not kidding - my ex got caught coming into Melb airport as having traces of it on his backpack and he doesnt even partake. He thinks it came from the uni common rooms or something.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 05:32 (twenty-three years ago)

i thought they just got doggies to sniff it out

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 05:33 (twenty-three years ago)

God I hope you're still talking about pot, jim.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:01 (twenty-three years ago)

That too but there is some stuff they swab and then use a UV lite. I never knew this. Scary.

(argh xpost Im replying to Jim)

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:02 (twenty-three years ago)

hehehe crosspost hell! yes pot. they don't get the dogs to sniff for semen at airports, but YOU NEVER KNOW!!!!1

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Good to see tax dollars are hard at work busting people with trace amounts of herb on them.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:06 (twenty-three years ago)

as opposed to trayce amounts

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:09 (twenty-three years ago)

Which would be huge.

Um err... I'll get me coat.

― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Ho ho ho!

― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 06:39 (twenty-three years ago)

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