We got swords! And axes!

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Yes, the weapons of mass destruction really are turning up:

Acting on a tip, soldiers from the U.S. Army's 1st Armored Division raided the Baghdad house of a former Saddam Hussein loyalist and seized items including two AK-47s, 11 bayonets, more than 550 rounds of ammunition, two protective masks, 31 protective mask canisters, three swords, two axes and documents, according to Central Command. Four people also were arrested, the command said.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I would laugh if this wasn't so embarrassing. Wait, I laugh at embarrassing shit all the time, so HA!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

have they found cheney's lucky charms yet?

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

On Monday some guy came into the US office set up in Tikrit and complained about a raid on his house the day prior. He was promptly arrested as he was the reason they raided the house in the first place.

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA! Ahem....Stupid Terrorist Action, part infinity

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Iraq's Dumbest Criminals!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I would laugh if this wasn't so embarrassing. Wait, I laugh at embarrassing shit all the time, so HA!

Consider that all that crap was only to get to the headquarters of the local chapter.

Being militant just doesn't pay, these days.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

But since they're currently occupied by the USA, don't the Iraqi people have the same Constitutional Right to Bear Arms as other American Citizens?
Isn't that the Democracy GWB promised them?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:08 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think americans are allowed to have AK-47s either, are they?

― Dan I., Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Had to turn mine in, last week, so no.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:21 (twenty-two years ago)

But how am I supposed to go deer hunting without an AK?

― Leee (Leee), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:24 (twenty-two years ago)

you go deer hunting with a 30.06 + sniper scope and an effective range of 1000 yards

― Millar (Millar), Wednesday, 6 August 2003 20:25 (twenty-two years ago)

My dad was telling me about his guns earlier today for some fucking reason, he's got the civ version of an M16 whatever the fuck that was called, I was like I DON'T CARE. Granted, all the vicodin makes him loopy but whatever. I think he'd rather kill animals with swords and axes to be honest.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

To own a real, fully automatic AK-47 in the US you would have to have a permit. So the US needs to set up a licensing board there to issue them.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:15 (twenty-two years ago)

"Permits" heh.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, was daddy in the militia? I mean, not every home has an arsenal inside...

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

No, he's actually a draft dodger.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

That's the best story ever, too. He didn't like actually dodge anything, like no Canada moves or Oxford for him. He just sat on his couch watching football and going, "Well, if they want me, they better come find me! FUCK YEAH! BOOOYAH!" And, like, they didn't. Probably because they knew he wouldn't pass a psych profile. Unless they needed insane assassins.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

HAHA....*ahem* Damn my morbid sense of humour! Expression of free will? Tis the American way, and the couch potatoes are raising their warm beers in celebration.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:13 (twenty-two years ago)

At least, daddy was honest, yo.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:14 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha well look at my stupid ass all volunteering and shit, what a fucking dope

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:15 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah my dad just kind of sat out the whole thing in his living room in whatever town he was living in that month, smoking Marlboro Reds and playing, like, Risk instead of actually going to a war. He probably shoulda went to war, the cactuses wouldn't be getting shot to shit now to make up for it.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Better the cacti, than a moving target.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

You'll find that law enforcement actually disagrees with this.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"better him than me"

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

OH SHIT! SWORDS!?! AXES!?!?!?!

UPGRADING TO CODE TEAL! REPEAT: UPGRADING TO TERROR ALERT CODE TEAL!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

And here I was thinking it would never get past 'Ecru'

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Honestly, I really would've liked to have seen a psych profile on this man but c'est la vie. The only one of 'em who did join up was my uncle who got a, um, mental-health related discharge. The rest of 'em sat around playing Risk. I asked my dad once, right, cos he's so goddamned obsessed with the military, and he was just like, "Eh, that war was crap". So I'm assuming if he was 18-24 during, like WWII or something, he would've been all over that shit but had some kind of, I dunno, locale objection to Vietnam.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Locale Objection"? How could he feel that, when he would have actually needed to be in the area to know the difference? Or is that just euphemism, again?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

OK perhaps taking the entirety of my post at face value is not a good idea.

I have no idea what his objection was to Vietnam besides it being "retarded" (his wording). He doesn't open up about it much more than that. He only caught the tail end of it as well age-wise so he was at the end of the draft, and by that point I'm pretty sure everyone and their brothers (in this case literally) had seen exactly what could happen if they went over there. So they just...didn't.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

dammit -- I want an MP40 to hunt Nazis with!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

you go deer hunting with a 30.06 + sniper scope and an effective range of 1000 yards

No.

You go deer hunting with a long bow. Doh!

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I vote knives and bare hands.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:42 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nolenknives.com/images/kn006s.jpg

"look, there's a dragon on the blade! a dragon on the blade, people! What an incredible offer we have for you tonight!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Samurai hunting? That's not the done thing.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

No.

You go deer hunting with a long bow. Doh!

I know this. I put together a 96-page magazine and catalog for a traditional bowhunting supplier once (I had never seen Quark before, either). Every page had a deerskin for the background and shit. I was just responding to Leee's post by pointing out that there are equally ridiculous weapons still perfectly legal in the states that you can go 'deer hunting' with, regardless of the restriction on fully automatic rifles.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

One of the guys I was dating in my English class was this Williamsburg hipster of the most stereotypical fey variety and looked a little suspiciously like Tracer Hand if Tracer Hand was even more ironic and he worked at a hunting and fishing magazine and feared death every day, apparently the entire office was covered in deer skin and big huge stuffed/freeze dried dead animals.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

*laughing* Millar, I used to work for a 'sporting goods wholesaler' (an euphamism for selling all of the hunting and killing equipment that could be shoved into our warehouse). It just killed me to see what people purchased for 'game hunting' purposes.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

"Oh Fred Bear
Walk with me
Down the trail again..."

http://www.fanfire.com/images/product/large/NUG32152.jpg

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

I just love guys who buy woodland cammies and dress themselves head to toe in it, then add OSHA orange vests and hats to make sure their friends won't shoot them by mistake

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Their friends still shoot them by mistake.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

By mistake?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Easiest lie to tell the police when the investigation starts.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Classic redneck pastime = hey earl (I know you fucked my wife) let's go hunting!

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Comraderie and broken condoms: what a tableau.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey there goes one (BANG!) Hey you shot my cow!

It's the second week of deer camp
I got a swollen head
I'm lying with the dustballs
Underneath the bed
An icy breeze is blowing
Into the tongue and groove
My pants are frozen to the floor
And I'm too sick to move
I didn't drink so many
Just durty (thirty) cans of beer
It musta been that last shot
That put me under here
REFRAIN
It's the second week of deer camp
And all the guys are here
We drink play cards and shoot the bull
But never shoot no deer
The only time we leave the camp
Is when we go for beer
The second week of deer camp
Is the greatest time of year
I remember playing poker
That weasel musta won
He's wearing my new swampers
And sleeping with my gun
He's snoring like a chainsaw
The camp smells like a dump
Someone's dirty underwear
Is hanging on the pump
Mickey's in the woodbox
Weener's on the stove
His flannel shirt is smoking (sniff)
I wonder if he knows (YEOW!)
REFRAIN
Beadle's crawling through the door
I think he got frostbite
He passed out in the outhouse
And he's been there since last night
Goofus stumbled through the door
He says he got a buck
He was coming from the wayside
And hit it with his truck
Musty cracked a beer and said
Let's celebrate
Goofus caught the first buck
Since 1968
REFRAIN

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:22 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles vs. Two-Handed Claymores vs. AK-47s vs. Throwing Knives vs. 6-Ft. Composite Bows vs. Nerve Gas vs. Pick-Axes vs. *POP* oh my god I think my brain just exploded...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Now I think an intercontinental ballistic missile is a bit of overkill for a deer. Maybe if you were elk hunting.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://veganbooks.safeshopper.com/images/bi1dinkq.jpg

― j.lu (j.lu), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.amatterofpride.com/foto/524.jpg

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Reverse Benetton campaign!

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/nyc/guns1.jpg

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/nyc/guns2.jpg

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/nyc/gijoe.jpg

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:34 (twenty-two years ago)

So much is now explained.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Check out my dad's hat, it is like the king of hat.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

He looks like he should be a seventies Latin American terrorist.

"So when I last saw Carlos with Che..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

My boss wears a huge cammo jacket to work EVERY day during the winter months. You know, just in case he sees a deer on the way home or something.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Please god don't let Ramon ever find out you referred to him as "Che", it'll only encourage him.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

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