finding 'home'

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moved many times.
rarely felt settled or 'at home'.

i know this isnt it yet either but its the closest ive been so far.

do you ever feel like you are seeking 'home'?

i know where mine is, it just isnt practical for me to move there right now. so it feels great to find something this close to what i yearn for. it doesnt physically match my ideal in any way whatsoever, but has that 'feel' to it.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 7 August 2003 06:07 (twenty-two years ago)

i dont mean a particular type of house, although i guess that could be part of it all.
i really mean that strange sense you get in certain places, that you 'belong there'. it just feels right.

my area is the glacier region of new zealand. fox glacier. i spent my early childhood there, pined when we moved ( i was 12 ), returned for a holiday with my ( ex ) husband a few years ago and just KNEW i should be there to live.

one day........

― donna (donna), Thursday, 7 August 2003 06:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm seeking "home," though I'm pretty sure I'll never find it. Home always seems to be the last place I was. Physically, I'll probably settle in one place once I find a steady job. But psychologically/spiritually/whatever you want to call it, I don't think I'll ever feel completely at home anywhere.

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 7 August 2003 07:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is where my loved ones and friends are I guess. I will feel at home in Brighton as long as my close friends still live here or near here, but soon they may not. I don't think I want to live far away from my family again though, and they are firmly stuck in Sussex. So I am too for the forseeable.

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)

do you ever feel like you are seeking 'home'?

Yes. I've been looking for it since I can remember. New Orleans feels like home to me, as does a little town in Northern California - but that has more to do with a resident than the town itself, I think.

One day, I may actually make it home.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:36 (twenty-two years ago)

the home i cherish as an idyll became unreachable long ago, even though it's only geographically four miles from where my parents still live — and actually i don't believe i crave it really, so much as compare my current sense of place and sensibility ("am i happy?" => "happy = what i felt then and then" = no/yes/whatever...)

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:48 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.fancyapint.com/thepubs/pubpics/pic1229.jpg

― Tim (Tim), Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:50 (twenty-two years ago)

I have never felt at home when I was actually at home. I grew up in the piney woods of East Texas, and felt out of place even as a child. I moved to Houston at age 10, and I still hate that place. I've lived in Austin for ten years now, but it's not the same place that I moved to, and is in danger of becoming a parody of itself (hey, we ride mountain bikes! we go see live music! we have piercings! ain't we so fucking special!). But then again, most places in America nowadays are in danger of becoming parodies of themselves -- there's an article about it in the new Atlantic. I digress.

What I wonder is, how much of my discomfort with my surroundings has to do with my surroundings, and how much has to do with my being uncomfortable in my own skin? Something to consider...

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

This is a good question. I moved approx. every 3 years as I was growing up, and I remember my parents asking me when we lived in India which I considered "home," the US or India. I think I just said wherever we were living at the time was my home, and I still feel that way, that I can adapt to wherever I am and feel like I belong there. I've only lived in Richmond for 2 years, but I consider it my home, and if someone asked me where I was from, I would say here. But at the same time, we're looking at possibly moving again. So there you go.

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:21 (twenty-two years ago)

I've never found that kind of place. In a way that is good, it gives me a chance to look for it and enjoy the journey.

― Larcole (Nicole), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Same here, I've moved every three years on average throughout my entire life and the idea of home eludes me somewhat. What I've realized with age was how dependent I've become on moving and how quickly I get bored with a place.. I used to think that wanderlust was pretty cool, but now I'm worried that it simply reflects my inability to connect very deeply with one place. I guess most people try meeting people, start new activities, etc. when they get bored, whereas my 1st impulse in to move to a new city..

― Fabrice (Fabfunk), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is where the tart is

― G Man, Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Where, your mom's house?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

No, she's a skag addict.

― G Man, Thursday, 7 August 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I've moved around a bit and even though the longest I've ever been in one place is, probably, here in Ormskirk the strongest feeling of place I have is for Cornwall (Sorry Tim Hopkins), that's where I did the important growing up, so that's where I think of when I think of "home" per se. Move me out of Ormy and I'd be quite stuck however.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 7 August 2003 12:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I am beginning to doubt I will ever find 'home'

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:18 (twenty-two years ago)

This could be a result of being raised an Army brat and then spending the last seven years in four different states

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is driving 35 between austin and DFW when the wildflowers are in bloom on the side of the road. Home is walking into Ships lounge and having a an opaquely-cold bottle of Lone Star waiting on the bar for you by the time you sit down. Home is knowing people who will do whatever you need them to do for you are just moments away. Home's wherever and whenever you feel at peace with yourself.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

For me, 'home' has always been London. Tis is what I get for falling in love with the atmosphere, dammit:

The folks are warm and welcoming to a fault.

Travelling to other countries doesn't take an arm and a leg.

Fam is there.

Is part of living a wish before my time runs out.

Doing my degree there will be interesting.

Ah, soon again....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"Home" is wherever I am when I'm with people I care about.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Glasgow and Newcastle and the North of England, it felt right, but I was older then, I bet if i moved back it would be like finding the hard smooth back wall of the wardrobe

Sam is OTM - sometimes there's a certain drive or stretch that provokes a particular kind of anticipation, and it's THAT feeling that's home, not whatever it is you eventually reach

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is anywhere you hang your head.

― Elvis Costello (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally, Tracer and Elvis are OTM for expressing my further thoughts so well.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:29 (twenty-two years ago)

"aaaaaah, there ain't no life nowhere"

― dave q, Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:31 (twenty-two years ago)

To an extent, home is wherever I can set up my computer and write without being distracted; home is quiet when I turn my music off; home is a cigarette away, with a kitchen that does what I tell it to.

But really, as I've mentioned, New Orleans is the first and only place that has felt like home. I can remember being a very little kid, and in the space of a few months, doing the first travelling I can remember: to Boston, to Birmingham, to Greencastle IN, to Disney World, and the whole "things are different in different places" thing clicking, and the older I got, the more I realized that I didn't like where I lived -- southern New Hampshire -- at all. I didn't like the weather, didn't like the food, didn't like the people, etc. I didn't hate it, except for that teen period where you sorta have to. I just didn't like it.

Western Massachusetts was good briefly because it had what New Hampshire hadn't. The novelty wore off quicker than a summer one-hit wonder.

New Orleans, when I finally ended up there, didn't feel "instantly right," or wonderful, or better than other places, or more sophisticated or kind or intelligent or cultured or beautiful or welcoming or flexible. It didn't even feel comfortable. I didn't understand the language, the expectations, the attitudes, the nuances. It was a much bigger change than I'd been through. It took a year for me to even step out of the constant sense of surprise or skewed balance.

But once I did, I realized I was comfortable. The rhythm worked. The sky looked right. The trees were the way they were supposed to be. Home, for me, has got nothing to do with the people I love. It's got nothing to do with what's inside my apartment. It's got nothing to do with where I go when I leave the house on a normal day. It's got to do with the people I don't even know, and what happens when I turn down a street I'm not familiar with, and where I end up if I've got an extra hundred bucks in my pocket and decide to try something new.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is in my spaceship travelling between the stars

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:45 (twenty-two years ago)

with ABC and INXS and The Police on the stereo, maybe some Tribe Called Quest

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Add Gary Numan and silver space hooker clothes and you got the best home of anyone on ILX.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Home for me is the Sierra Nevada's. Wildflowers and wildfires and wildlife and granite boulders and frigid lakes and streams filled with melted run-off ... marmots and chipmunks and deer and bear and ladybug hatches and the plants that make excellent hats and the feeling of last year's pine needles crackling and sliding under one's feet and the cold dry air that sears the nostrils and the sounds of tree limbs snapping under the weight of snow and lakes of aquamarine where no human has ever swam and stories of the pioneers and Indian legends and the sky so blue it's almost purple and stars so close you can feel their pulsations with your eyelids shut.

Yep. I'm homesick. Odd that it's for land and not for people or goods.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Thursday, 7 August 2003 18:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What NA said.

With my dad living with my step-mom (and me being told never to feel like it's my home, because it's really her home) and my mom continuing to move around once every couple of years (and never having more than one extra bedroom which for some reason always officially belongs to the middle sister), I've felt a bit down several times that I don't have a 'home' to run to when I need comforting. Instead, I've gone with the 'whereever I am, that's my home' point of view.

I really have a deep love for Richmond even though I've only been here for a short time. I think in general, though, all of Virginia is my home. I've lived in so many cities here, mostly in southwest VA. I love looking out at the changing leaves driving along the parkway and all of the little rural towns and county fairs...

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Generally speaking home is SoCal, but like Millar, moving around has meant a certain instability -- beneficial, though, since I think I don't have a real 'home' spot in the world, more places in which I feel perfectly comfortable. But wherever home is (or homes are), an ocean must be near. That's all I ask.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 19:27 (twenty-two years ago)

SF was the only place I was ever happy

― dave q, Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

for me home as always been the little house in the little town i live in. and then in nineteen days i am going to take the first official step in renouncing that and going on for years until someday i have a real new home of my own. and i don't know if my parents will still be here.

― Maria (Maria), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Sorry that sounded morbid'n shit, think of it more like 'wistful'

― dave q, Friday, 8 August 2003 00:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Home is wherever I live with someone who will love me when I am 80. And I will love them.

― Orbit (Orbit), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:44 (twenty-two years ago)

It's London for me, though I didn't live here until 1999. Pretty much everything about it seems right. Not this house though - it's two years since I split with my then-wife, and I've been expecting to move imminently ever since. Maybe the next place - but really, the actual house/flat feels not too important, as long as it is reasonably large and near useful transport.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 8 August 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

when I finish my studies I will have to settle somewhere and hopefully I will be lucky to find somewhere that I will be comfortable with.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Saturday, 9 August 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dublin is the only place I've ever lived, I could see London as a future home though, lots of friends there and my brother and his wife also live there so some family too.

― Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 9 August 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

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