Burgers in your underwear

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So the girlfriend's gone for the next two weeks. I've got finals, just finished my final papers twenty minutes ago, and then I've got a week of nothing. When last I lived with someone, she was lactose-intolerant and would get nauseous around the smell of cheese, so this would be the time when I'd make cheeseburgers, mac-n-cheese, and so on.

This time, I'll probably watch a bunch of Netflix movies, stay up all night writing, and cook spicier than usual (there are hot wings marinating as we speak in lemon juice, garlic, and Thai chiles).

No, you haven't got burgers in your underwear.

So what do you do when your SO, roommate, parent, ward nurse, or guard is out of town?

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:09 (twenty-three years ago)

I avoid starting compromising threads about one's underwear burgers. Especially WRT special sauce.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Tidy. It's weird, when they're around I never do it

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

Anyway, more seriously -- this is why living alone is such a treat, this subject never comes up! I just enjoy life as always.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I contemplate how much I hate Mr. Ned Raggett for introducing the phrase "underwear burgers" into my naive vocabulary.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I cackle happily at the pure-as-driven-snow innocence of Mr. Dan Perry at long last being corrupted.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:20 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread has now served its purpose.

The other thing I'll do: turn the temperature down by six degrees.

And yeah, there were nice things about living alone, mostly the hours thing.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Sausage in your underwear:

http://www.antoniobanderasfans.com/antonio.gif

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 7 August 2003 20:48 (twenty-three years ago)

So what do you do when your SO, roommate, parent, ward nurse, or guard is out of town?

drink?

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:00 (twenty-three years ago)

drink heavily, eat out a lot or not at all, fall asleep in my clothes often, use ilx more than usual.

― strongo hulkington (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Smoke.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:01 (twenty-three years ago)

no, Drink!

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Drinking costs more than smoking. Ergo, smoking.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:03 (twenty-three years ago)

you must have missed the other thread where I explained that $12.55 gets you a 30 of PBR in this town

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:08 (twenty-three years ago)

and think about them constantly, of course of course, which is free

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:09 (twenty-three years ago)

You must've missed the other thread where I suddenly came into tons of free money, apparently. And also a hat! We're goin' on the town baby.

Too bad I have morals! That really sucks! It's a good thing thinking is free cos about two or three months ago I would so risk jail.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:14 (twenty-three years ago)

Drinking costs more than smoking.

Not if you do it at home!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I refuse to drink non-quality beer, I'm kind of a bourgeousie ho.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Of course I don't really need to worry about this at all cos some reason we started drinking at like 4:30.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Beer, no beer, whatever. A bottle of mid-priced vodka goes a long way.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Or maybe I'm not the drunk I imagine myself to be, comparatively speaking.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I know I'm in trouble when Ally's one-word "smoke" post starts me in to craving a cigarette something awful.

― amateurist (amateurist), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:20 (twenty-three years ago)

Two large pizzas with jalapeno, 12 bucks. That's my underwear burger for tonight (and tomorrow).

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:23 (twenty-three years ago)

Oh, hell yeah. And you can even rationalize: jalapenos have a lot of vitamin C!

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:24 (twenty-three years ago)

They do? Holy crap, my jalapeno cheeseburger combo just became health food. I'll use them to fend off colds in the winter!

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I *love* jalapenos. Damn. I want a 'peno burger or pizza now. :(

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Eat Marmite and peanut butter on onion bagels

Drink the large bottles of Stella

Watch episodes of The Office downloaded from Kazaa

Listen to OMD

― fields of salmon (fieldsofsalmon), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Aww, darn it! My pizzas came. I'd ordered "one pepperoni and jalapeno, one bacon and jalapeno," but instead of combining the toppings they gave me one half-pepperoni/half-jalapeno, etc.

The whole point was to combine the smoky saltiness of pepperoni or bacon with the jalapenos! Ah well.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:44 (twenty-three years ago)

Send 'em back! One shouldn't compromise on their underwear burger.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 21:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Nah, it's okay, they probably just misunderstood. And the place just opened a couple weeks ago. Besides, possibly for breakfast I'll doublestack two slices, see.

Right now: oof, so full.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Is it just me or did someone imply that Pabst Blue Ribbon is 'non-quality beer'?

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:04 (twenty-three years ago)

I turn the house into a brothel to pay for car repairs.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Lone Star is quality, for $4 a six pack. One of my favorite things about Texas, actually.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't drink that, cause the first time I heard of it (hey, I was in NH and a teenager), the first Bush was talking about how much he liked it. (I'm sure that was just to play up his "I'm a Texan, really" thing, but you know. First impressions.)

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I really like Dixie Beer. I know I shouldn't, but I do.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:14 (twenty-three years ago)

lone star rocketh my world. I have an old classic bottle on display in my living room and will probably get a tat of it one of these days.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:16 (twenty-three years ago)

Naw, Dixie's pretty damn good for its price. The Dixie Voodoos are even better.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:16 (twenty-three years ago)

In college we used to drink boocoos of Old Milwaukee. Consumer Reports was right, it is one of the finest overcarbonated can-only yellowass american pisslagers on the market. We were happy then.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:18 (twenty-three years ago)

I love how this weather makes it so easy to hijack threads lately. It's easier than farting.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I like Crimson better than Blackened.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:19 (twenty-three years ago)

Millar: beaucoups

;)

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I like Crimson better than Blackened.

Yeah, ditto. It's perfect for most Creole food, too -- gumbo, jambalaya, redfish, what have you.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

farting in elevators = fun.

farting in elevators & enjoying it = punk rock.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:23 (twenty-three years ago)

gross weirdos.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

The thread's called "burgers in your underwear," Sam, I think it was downhill from go.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:26 (twenty-three years ago)

I went to college in Tennessee. It was boocoos.

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

Walk around naked

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I do the same as Oops, but add housecleaning to that. And pretty much everything else.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 7 August 2003 22:52 (twenty-three years ago)

I have like sixteen pieces of pizza left over, for Christ's sake. You guys should totally come over.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:41 (twenty-three years ago)

dude I walk around naked regardless, WTF is that

― Millar (Millar), Thursday, 7 August 2003 23:47 (twenty-three years ago)

Tom, I went to college in TX, wtf?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 00:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Club soda + passion fruit + tequila. Nuff said.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:12 (twenty-three years ago)

yum.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Friday, 8 August 2003 02:17 (twenty-three years ago)

PBR is not quality beer you hipster freaks.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 03:03 (twenty-three years ago)

Uh, yeah.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that sarcasm?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:01 (twenty-three years ago)

No, just surprise that anyone hipster or not would claim that it was in the first place!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Apparently it's real big around these parts. I'd probably drink PBR before I drank a Bud though.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:06 (twenty-three years ago)

God, that is a hard choice. Hmm...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:06 (twenty-three years ago)

It's like, taking sides, getting stabbed in the eye v. getting stabbed in the ear.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Exactly. PBR is a fuck this I'll try again tomorrow morning when I'm coherent.

Jesus. $10 buckets are the devil.

I'm in lo

― Millar (Millar), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:11 (twenty-three years ago)

J. Lo?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:11 (twenty-three years ago)

You still got those pizza slices, Tep? Jalapeno you say?!

― oops (Oops), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:16 (twenty-three years ago)

1. Turn the air conditioner to 'really cold.'
2. Make chocolate fondue the main meal/leftover for the week.
3. Keep the TV off.
4. Spend a lot of time talking to the critters.
5. Turn-off the phone ringers and the volume on the answering machine.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Friday, 8 August 2003 04:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Fourteen slices now, what with my pizza-and-Red-Bull breakfast. Come n get it!

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:34 (twenty-three years ago)

... that was so goddamn college student cliche.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 11:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Last time Sarah was out of town, I wrote and recorded an album. Not that I couldn't do this if she was in town, it just gave me something to occupy the time.

I also eat slightly less healthily, eat at restaurants I like more that she does, drink slightly more beer, and keep the door open when I go to the bathroom. Livin' on the edge.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 8 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-three years ago)

I would do the restaurant thing if I could drive the car which, come to think of it, is sitting right there.

I mean, I can drive, now that I think about it ... I'm a good driver, really ... but I don't technically have a license and haven't exactly driven (outside of GTA) in ... uh. Seven years? Wait, that means I'm a virgin again. No, that's not right.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 16:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Smartfood and champagne cocktails. Apparently I woke up as a Connecticut housewife. bbl, my stories are on and I need to grease the poolboy.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:24 (twenty-three years ago)

My lodger is away for the weekend. Given that fact and our heat wave, I am naked. Otherwise doing the same things.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I sure hope none of the "same things" involve frying things in bubbling oil or using a paper shredder.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:43 (twenty-three years ago)

...post a lot about Jarvis Cocker all day, apparently.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

I fear to ask Martin where he's putting his burgers since he isn't wearing any underwear.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Just when he's out of town though, right Ally?

― chester (synkro), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah which means expect a lot more Jarvis until tomorrow.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

(I meant when Jarvis isn't staying with you but Dan's post made mine kinda senseless.)

― chester (synkro), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:01 (twenty-three years ago)

I fear to ask Martin where he's putting his burgers since he isn't wearing any underwear.

Surely he puts his burgers with his buns.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:02 (twenty-three years ago)

Who says Jarvis isn't staying with me tomorrow???

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

The mental image I have of where Martin's mouth is located is terrifying.

― chester (synkro), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:04 (twenty-three years ago)

Is this where I make the "'Talking out of your ass' has a whole new meaning" joke?

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:06 (twenty-three years ago)

Please don't.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:07 (twenty-three years ago)

Martin don't talk with your mouth full.

― chester (synkro), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

i slept in the tub. which doubled as an ashtray. the cats were puzzled

― kephm, Friday, 8 August 2003 20:16 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm not sure I like the trend on this thread.

Oh hang on, yes I do.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Friday, 8 August 2003 20:30 (twenty-three years ago)

sixteen years pass...

Boxer Brief Kobe is my fav

― XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Saturday, 1 August 2020 23:41 (six years ago)

Wow this thread is like mainlining old-skool ILX

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 2 August 2020 00:24 (six years ago)

little over a year before I snuck in

― XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 August 2020 00:26 (six years ago)

I miss Martin so much.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Sunday, 2 August 2020 01:14 (six years ago)

I say thumbs down. Hot grease spattering your bared genitals is half the fun of eating a hamburger!

― Why does this relates to Yoda? (Old Lunch), Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:01 (six years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sF4OkZ0B-q8&t=19m20s

― Western® with Bacon Flavor, Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:16 (six years ago)

^the expert wanders in!

― XVI Pedicabo eam (Neanderthal), Sunday, 2 August 2020 02:33 (six years ago)

Me too Christine.

― Li'l Brexit (Tracer Hand), Sunday, 2 August 2020 08:38 (six years ago)

this thread was way less gross than i thought it would be from the thread title -- for the record

― sarahell, Sunday, 2 August 2020 17:28 (six years ago)

one weird trick for piquing readers' interest

― the unappreciated charisma of cows (Aimless), Sunday, 2 August 2020 17:43 (six years ago)

pretty much ya

― sarahell, Sunday, 2 August 2020 17:47 (six years ago)

God, the first half of this thread was like a happy trip back in time. I miss so many of those people, Martin included.

Anyway, I've been living all by myself for over five years so it ain't anything special. Since I've been WFH it's been even less. Guess I just sing alone to myself and eat whatever. I just stuffed myself with a chicken dinner from El Pollo Loco and am awaiting the inevitable food coma before going to sleep and starting a new work week. Like the wild woman I am, of course.

― We Live as We Dee, Alone (deethelurker), Sunday, 2 August 2020 20:18 (six years ago)

The back in the day talk made me realize I've been coming here for 15 years or so. But whenever I see a thread that starts "from 16 years ago" I think that was WAY before my time.

Actually, it was probably a decade before I realized there was good stuff besides ILM.

In the rare instances when the spouse and kids are out of town for a trip, I make big productive plans but wind up fucking off, drinking and smoking too much until 5 days in I'm sad and missing my family. Still, the first few days are fun. Totino's Party Pizzas! Whiskey! David Lynch marathon! Loud abrasive music!

― Cow_Art, Monday, 3 August 2020 03:30 (six years ago)

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