SPERMULA!!

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Best names of porno movies which mimic — as thead title does NOT — the movie hits of the day.

― mark s, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Riding Miss Daisy" was always a fave...

― Dan Perry, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Translated from italian.

'All about my wife'

which also translates as

'Everyone on my wife'

― Ed, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

For sheer can't be arsed blatancy, "Jurassic Fuck"

In an issue of Eightball, some typical Clowes anomic post-grunge teens/twentysomethings are seen looking at a copy of "The Cunt For Red Cocktober". Was this awesome renaming real?

― Tom, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wasn't there 'Shaving Ryan's Privates'? Ugh.

― Paul Strange, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Pearl Necklace Harbor. I'm not actually sure if this has been made yet. I imagine it starts with Eleanor Roosevelt being subjected to a totally unprovoked wank attack from a team of highly trained Japanese.

― , Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

(Shaving Ryan's Privates = inspiration for thread, courtesy Nicole, apologies for omitting credit where due)

― mark s, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"Saturday Night Beaver" starring the late John Holmes. And there really was an "Edward Penishands".

― Andrew L, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Who fucked what in Jurassic Fuck? Was it some kind of bestiality thing, like Wanking with Dinosaurs? Or was it people in furs grunting a lot and using big clubs as dildos?

I know, I know, I should just rent a copy. But the video's bust.

― Emma, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

"The Bare Wench Project". Same idea as orig. - improvised dialogue, etc. except with fake-titty girls and cursed dildos. Every now and again Skinemax redeems itself.

― Tracer Hand, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Let's seeeeee. This starts as a joke and then you find yourself coming up with better names than the real ones. I'm pretty sure at least five of these are real.

"Romancing The Bone", "Buffy The Vampire Layer", "Schindler's Fist", "Sleazy Rider", "Malcolm XXX", "Star Whores", "Bra Wars" and my favourite: "Honey, I Blew... Everybody!"

I think I also invented "The Man With The Golden Cum" but I may be wrong. It's the kind of game best played drunk. Think of the film title first then just be dirty. You always discover who your dirtiest mates are when they come up with something really obscure and you have to wait to see who'll be the first to ask what "beef gravy in the deli" or something means.

― Greg, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

What does it mean then?

― Emma, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I once rented honey I BLew Everybody. It doesnt relate to the movei at all plotwise. Its funny though. Its about these three female reporters who will do ANYTHING to get the scoop.

AI Artificial Insemination Cuntraider erm... THree Men and a Whore?

― Mike Hanle y, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

_ET -- The Extra Testicle_. You know that had to be genius.

For my sins, I have seen _Edward Penishands_, an hour of my life that is now lost forever. _The Anus Family_ ("Uncle Felcher!") and whatever the _Twin Peaks_ parody was called ("Do you hear the screaming of the trees?"...and don't ask about the dwarf) are similarly stuck somewhere in my memory bank. Frightening.

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Gosh, I'd hate to see all your cable bills every month. I cut out Spice for HBO, so I can see Six Feet Under. Death is the new sex.

― Lesley Higgins, Thursday, 28 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

the penetrator (terminator)

― Geoff, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

As shown above, all Bond films can be done. From the relatively insignificant Dr Blow to the doesn't need anything doing to it Octopussy.

I find Disney ones particular gratifying (though the video's bust) favourite being "The Little Sperm-Aid".

― Pete, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Someone has to make Wet Dreams May Cum and Position Impossible.

― Melissa W, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh no Melissa, you shouldn't have said that! Now I have this horrible mental image of Robin Williams doing porn.

― Nicole, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Aaargh! Nicole, did you really have to share that?

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Snatch Adams.

― Pete, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Pussy King. Good Will Cunting. Cockeye.

― Dan Perry, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Not to mention his roles in the charming remake of the old Disney classic _The Absent Minded Pornographer_, now retitled _Fluffer_, and his uncredited appearance in _The Sexventures of Baron Munchoften_.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You evil bastards. I'll kill every last one of you, I swear.

― Richard Tunnicliffe, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

This shd have been the thread title, of course: THE SPERMINATOR. It exists (as does Spermula, of course). Not at all sure I agree, either, that the ones WE can make up ARE automatically as good (as titles: quality of films doubtless the usual lottery). Ethan would remember but who else can the names of the porn movies — in this style — on the marquee in the Simpsons, when Abe S and his bearded buddy are reminiscing, and pass the cinema?

― mark s, Friday, 29 June 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

one year passes...

HOW ABOUT

THE FAST AND THE BI-CURIOUS...

HE HE....

― teddy ted, Saturday, 26 October 2002 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I know there's also a film called "Driving Miss Daisy Crazy", so it seems there's almost any amount of mileage out of a good title.

Cum flew over from cock to chest

One poo over the cuckold's breast

I do Rover, then Fido's next

etc.

― Mark C (Mark C), Saturday, 26 October 2002 21:13 (twenty-two years ago)

What kind of porn are you watching, Mark?

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 26 October 2002 21:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Everybody does Raymond, clearly.

― Matt (Matt), Sunday, 27 October 2002 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Jurassic Pork!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 27 October 2002 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Gorillas in the Minge!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 27 October 2002 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Fecal Attraction!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 27 October 2002 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Full Metal Jackoff!

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Sunday, 27 October 2002 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

On Golden Blonde was good, but after Terms of Endearment won the Oscar there was a B/D flick called Terms of Enslavement. Aw, yeah.

― J0hn Darn13ll3, Monday, 28 October 2002 02:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Das Butt!

(from the Simpsons)

― Keith McD (Keith McD), Monday, 28 October 2002 02:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Dr. Strangelove
Snatch
400 Blows

oh wait, am i suppose to change the names, then how about:
Twat, Stock, & Two Smoking Balls

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 28 October 2002 03:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Big Fat Greek Orgy

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 28 October 2002 03:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Fuck Everlasting
Jack(into)ass:the movie

― A Nairn (moretap), Monday, 28 October 2002 03:39 (twenty-two years ago)

GEORGE LAYSANYBODY ***is*** JAMES BONED: IN HER MAJESTY'S SECRET CERVIX

― Nate Patrin, Monday, 28 October 2002 03:42 (twenty-two years ago)

the obvious winner here is the Pocohontas takeoff: Poke a Hot Ass

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 28 October 2002 06:54 (twenty-two years ago)

My my, how mature we are. How about album titles?

Jean Michel Jarre's "Coxygene"

And existing titles with euphemic properties:

Joy Division's "Unknown Pleasures"
Herbie Hancock's "Man-child"
Frank Zappa's "One Size Fits All"

― Andrew (enneff), Monday, 28 October 2002 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

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