'Star Wars' hate thread

Jedi Master Mace Windu; "This party's over."

as for Star Wars...awful scripts and acting in all the films for a lot of the time, but why should i give a shit about that when the films also contain some of the greatest most vivid designs and scenes in western action/adventure cinema?

Having come up with perhaps the greatest cinematic vision of all time, made this vision tangible by first plagiarising, plundering and appropriating the work of much greater artistic minds than yours and moulding and amalgamating these ideas into a trilogy of infinitely inspiring and entertaining films, making billions of pounds from the merchandising and spin-off deals as a result of its surprise success, cementing your place in movie-making history, launching a thousand imitators and through the whole process revolutionising the concept of movie marketing, re-writing the rule book on feature film production and converting a generation to your fantastic visions, going on to have a hand in several other successful films only to return to the arena of your greatest success and embarking upon a mammoth further trilogy of prequels to your original project, the first film of which was almost universally reviled by fans and critics alike as the work of a ham fisted egomaniac who had quite clearly lot his touch and succumbed to
his own hype, do you:

A: Take these criticisms of your life’s work with disarming good grace, admitting that perhaps the weight of responsibility to the legion of fans who adore your work coupled with your attachment to the material may have clouded your vision and thus your ability to translate your initial ideas to the screen, resolving for your next picture, to hire the best people in the business to make your next film a piece-de-resistance, getting David Mamet and John Milius on the phone to work up your by your own admission pisspoor preliminary plot outlines into a workable script then asking Michael Mann to direct with a further directorial advisory panel consisting of Francis Ford Coppola, Jim Jarmusch, David Lynch, David Cronenberg, Luc Besson and Hal Hartley and featuring a brand new orchestral score written by Don Van Vliet, Richard D James, John Williams, Syd Barrett and Trent Reznor, before holding extensive cast auditions and hiring, in no particular order, Al Pacino, Monica Bellucci, Robert de Niro, Christopher Walken, Gary Oldman, Sean Connery, Elias Koteas, Gabriel Byrne, Uma Thurman, Donald Sutherland, Kate Blanchet, Jack Nicholson, Julianne Moore, John Turturro, F. Murray Abraham, Geoffrey Rush and Elina Lowensohn to join the cast before stepping aside yourself, taking a hard back-seat and letting the all-singing five-star team you have assembled take over and keeping your mouth shut throughout the filming, post production and editing process, graciously ensuring upon the film’s release that the critical plaudits are given to those due as the critics rave and fans queue around the block to see what is perhaps the greatest movie of all time again and again and again.

B: Quietly resolve to make the critics eat their words and strive night and day to come up with a script and plot to rival that of your original creation, collaborating with the best scriptwriters and cinematographers money can buy whilst all the while chiding yourself and your regular crew to really strive for the best this time since the last film was such a half-hearted effort, working closely with your cast and effects team, pushing them to deliver convincing performances and sequences that are drenched in humanism and the dirt of the everyday rather than the bombast and gloss that marred irredeemably your last feature, refusing this time to make any concessions to child audiences, recognising that plausibility and grit was what made people fall in love with your original works and that children are able to see through patronising with alarming insight, this time erasing computer generated characters rendered with disturbing stereotypical personas from your project and concentrating instead on the human aspects to your characters and returning to the organic puppetry and costumes that were so convincing in your original trilogy of films, labouring to build upon the mythology that was so intriguing in the original three films you made instead of attempting to produce a two hour advert for your merchandising; continuing rather the investigation you began the first time around into the profound nature of good versus evil and how the two concepts are irrevocably interlinked via a Nietzschean psychodramatic tale which marries myth, magic and man in a manner never before presented so seductively on the silver screen.

C: Hole up in your 10 million acre desert ranch, refuse to give any interviews, surround yourself with whispering sycophants who repeatedly tell you that you are the genius you always thought you were until you irrefutably believe it more than ever and snort coke until you can no longer see for the angels floating around your head, in the midst of this self-indulgent world that you have created for yourself with you as its God, in half an afternoon, sketch out the plot for what you loudly insist to be your next great masterpiece on the back of a napkin, which is immediately and even more loudly proclaimed as sheer and total profundity by those same sycophants who stroke your beard and wank you off, all of you laughing heartily as you calculate how many zeros the project will add to your bank balance, before calling up your studio and demanding a budget of $500 million and pulling together your usual team and crew to set to work on the next instalment in your series, taking the helm though you know the general perception is that your ability as a film-maker is fundamentally lacking, throughout filming ignoring utterly the advice of those who have worked on your films right from the beginning and the complaints of the fans who made your project such a financial success but who were disillusioned with your money-spinning last effort and instead take up where you left off on the last film, jettisoning dialogue and plot in favour of vast, bombastic special effects sequences each interlinked with the next by short snatches of ham-fisted, rushed plot, strung together with the kind of dialogue more at home in a Mr Men book, your ego bloated beyond the point of reason and your precious pride at stake forcing you to include one of the most universally hated and unnecessary characters in movie history who had caused such consternation upon his advent in your last movie, that hundreds of thousands of fans backed internet campaigns launched to ensure his absence from the next film, while dreaming up a half-baked love story involving the main protagonists of the story with the express aim of hooking your last resistant audience, namely that of girls aged between 11 and 25, and deciding at the last minute that the film needs a bit of weight since it is in the main schlock-lite balderdash and with this aim in mind convince an elderly statesman of the screen to climb on board and reprise a role he essayed not twelve month previously in another fantasy blockbuster, whilst at the same time ensuring that even as the evil forces included in the story have the combined screen-time of a bit-part player, the forces of good come across like a bunch of whooping red-neck cowboys, given to exclaiming such gung-ho slogans as "this party’s over" and loving nothing better than a good fight into which they leap rashly with mindless abandon (and where, incidentally, large numbers of their ancient declining order will be needlessly scythed down in laser fire) rather than behaving like the meditative mystics and pacifists that so enthralled audiences the first time around, wrapping the whole project in such saccharine schmultz and shine in a shallow attempt to cover over the gaping holes in the plot and characters, hoping to buy off critical acclaim by ploughing more and more lucre into post-production in a desperate but ultimately futile last attempt to purchase for your project some sense of creative sincerity.

No, I've been amused.

(the major point of Mel Brooks's underrated lampoon Spaceballs)

Erm. Definitely better than just about everything else from the eighties and nineties from Brooks, maybe History of the World Part I aside, but please.

Bullshit. Big Trouble in Little Motherfucking China, Bitch.

what's even better? the plot for the flick was reworked from its original idea, that of being the sequel to Buckaroo Banzai!

Lord John Whorfin: Where are we going?
Red Lectroids: Planet Ten!
Lord John Whorfin: When?
Red Lectroids: Real soon!

see i just grew up with the conditioning that Star Wars was the greatest thing ever and its so hard to shake that off. i was even sympathetic to Lucas with regards to The Phantom Menace - the ol' cliche 'well it's a great kid's film' still holds up.

I dunno man they own all of lucasarts now, that's a lot of royalties from a lot of things

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=rmRdHVkqS_k#t=214s

star wars makes zillions every year in merchandising

Millions of people exposed to a different natural disaster yesterday when one of the cable channels played Attack of the Clones twice.

Yeah Disney could probably do nothing other than renew existing merch contracts and make money on this deal; three guaranteed billion-dollar wwg films, each in turn generating new licensing opportunities, makes it a killer deal

Kotor, the original Clone Wars mini show, and the Dark Horse SW: Legacy comics all show that compelling narratives can still be delivered in the universe, just with the right people working on them.

And Something Wicked traumatized me as a young'un just do to the damage that happens to hands in that film.

The 6 films grossed 4 billions on their own. Pretty sure the next three will do at least a billion each. 4 billions will look like a bargain in 10 years.

s'what I'm sayin

I wonder what Lucasarts had to gain from the sale?

Or Lucasfilm, whatever, Lucas Corp.

Lucas is the 100% owner of LucasFilm, Ltd., so what he had to gain was $4B

2 billions in cash, 2 billions in shares.

Lucas is the 100% owner of LucasFilm, Ltd., so what he had to gain was $4B
--www.toilet-guru.com (silby)

Yeah but what else?

Hmm I always think of Star Wars as a license to print money but $4B is lot, yah

…what else could he want? free plastic surgery for the thing on his neck? xp

I guess George just didn't have anything else to say

Unless he returns to direct for Disney *fingers crossed*

a pretty good retirement plan, IMO

Yeah okay. I underestimated the revenue made from merchandise already. But still. 4 billion is the same amount paid for Marvel, which is also a merchandising powerhouse, and had a lot more films in the future. I think my point is, that this deal wasn't made just for continuing merchandise deal, or just for finishing the trilogy. It was made to make many many more, until nobody comes to see them anymore, and then beginning the reboot.

I'm pretty sure a massive SW theme park is on the plans.

I'm guessing Disney purchasing this is the same reason they bought Marvel; to aim at boys not signed up for the usual Disney crap

Marvel got robbed too

http://www.statisticbrain.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/star-wars-sales.jpg

and they haven't even released the DVDs that everyone wants yet

toy company

the only thing i understand from this graph is: people should reprioritize their spendings.

yeah this is the Star Wars hate thread, let's cut it out with this caring about these shitty movies talk

more glowing drink talk

here, dan: http://www.disneyfoodblog.com/2010/06/17/blue-glow-tini/

fuck yes

btw I do enjoy a genuine martini as much as the next person but if there is a blue or green drink on the menu there is about a 95% chance I'm ordering it, especially if it has a glowing ice cube in it

I don't so much hate Star Wars as I hate having to think about hating Star Wars.

what if the glowing ice cube had a fly trapped in it

If it was Brindlefly

unless it was made of actual glowing ice I wouldn't care, and if it WAS actual glowing ice I would have a host of deeper concerns

next fap should look like:

http://media3.onsugar.com/files/2010/05/20/5/192/1922195/4ea6148732672f88_satc/i/10-Food-Trends-Featured-Sex-City.jpg

I'm pretty sure a massive SW theme park is on the plans.

― Van Horn Street, Tuesday, October 30, 2012 10:00 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark

in space??

And Something Wicked traumatized me as a young'un just do to the damage that happens to hands in that film.

― the max in the high castle (kingfish), Tuesday, October 30, 2012 7:57 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

SO OTM

Often felt there's room for a book/analysis of the interregnum years at Disney between Walt's death and Eisner's arrival. That was when I was a kid so those movies -- The Rescuers,Pete's Dragon,The Fox and the Hound,etc. -- all have a certain resonance.

―Ned Raggett,Tuesday, October 30, 2012 5:51 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I knew that there was just such a book and I've found it in storage forever later: Disneywar by James B. Stewart.

Oh Disneywar is great but that actually kinda picks up WITH Eisner's arrival. I'm talking about the period before it.

Oh, hmm. That's disappointing. I haven't read it yet but I had assumed that it picked up more or less right after that great Disney biography by Gabler.

the name disneywar makes me think of something dystopic future conflict where corporate-states war it out with mickey-shaped battlemechs

That was actually the first draft of "John Carter."

the name disneywar makes me think of something dystopic future conflict where corporate-states war it out with mickey-shaped battlemechs

― Author ~ Coach ~ Goddess (s1ocki), Monday, November 5, 2012 2:01 PM (6 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

guys, if most of the star wars universe uses the aurabesh alphabet (pictured below), HOW and WHY are rebel ships like the x-wing and a-wing designed and named after characters from the ROMAN alphabet

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/starwars/images/7/7d/Crane_Aurebesh_sheet.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20141030183749

fuck star wars, this is bullshit

Herf nerder

look i value your contributions jmm but let's stay on topic here this is important

The High Galactic alphabet was a form of writing in the galaxy. While not as common as Aurebesh, this alphabet was frequently used in signatures and by nobles,[1] and was often associated with snobbery.[2] It was most commonly used to write Galactic Basic Standard. High Galactic letters came in two forms: a printscript, in which all letters were separate glyphs; and a handwritten, cursive form, in which the strokes of successive characters were joined and the angles rounded.[3] While the High Galactic alphabet normally distinguished between the letters that were in larger uppercase and smaller lowercase,[4] many logos were written entirely in capital letters.[5][6]

Origins and historyEdit
CSAcolor
The logo of the Corporate Sector Authority incorporated both the High Galactic alphabet and Aurebesh.

"Does the weapon begin with the letter A?"
―Weequay bodyguard, speaking to his quay[src]
The alphabet originated as part of the High Galactic language, which was spoken by the colonists of Alsakan prior to 17,000 BBY, and originated during the war between the Galactic Republic and the Tion Cluster. The alphabet entered widespread galactic use in approximately 17,000 BBY, during the Alsakan Conflicts. The Alsakanese borrowed characters from Tionese language and introduced others of their own invention, creating a writing system with no ties to the Aurebesh or related scripts.[1]

Millennia later, the alphabet continued to see fairly widespread use. By circa 22 BBY, Republic Census figures showed that the High Galactic alphabet was used by nearly one third of Galactic Basic speakers when writing, and by over half of upper-class Basic speakers. As a result, Aurebesh and the High Galactic alphabet were often presented side by side.[1] Nearly all Basic advertising was presented in the High Galactic alphabet, as were corporate logos that incorporated written language, such as those of Industrial Automaton, the Corellian Engineering Corporation, and Sienar Fleet Systems.[1]

The High Galactic alphabet was also used for naming many starship models (such as the T-65 X-wing starfighter) and droid models (such as the R2 series of astromech droids).[1]

Texts written in this alphabetEdit
"Dhannut Logistics. Dee, aich, ay, double enn, yoo, tee."
―Besany Wennen[src]
Although this alphabet was less common than Aurebesh, there is indication that whole (although few) texts were written in it. Following are several examples:

AshiiNermani
Ashii Nermani delivers an Imperial HoloVision newscast with headlines in both this alphabet and Aurebesh.

Aro logo[7]
Bureau of Ships and Services logo[5]
COMPNOR logo[6]
Corellian Security Force (CorSec) hovercraft
CSA logo[8]
Declaration of a New Republic[9]
Dhannut Logistics logo[10]
Interstellar Parcel Service logo and signage (Non-canonical appearance)[11]
Jedi Code[12]
R-Duba police hovercraft[13]
Sienar Fleet Systems logo[14]
Sunburst Mining logo[15]
Technical Specifications: Spacecraft of the Imperium and the Rebel Alliance[16]
Trade Federation logo[17]
Offworld Mining Corporation logo[18]
SignaturesEdit
Many Humans—and some non-Humans—used this alphabet in their signatures, instead of the more common Aurebesh, perhaps by tradition. Those individuals included:

Bront Autin[6]
Shepprd Barron[19]
Garm Bel Iblis[20]
Doman Beruss[20]
Mal Biron[21]
Thame Cerulian[22]
Darth Sidious[22]
Dooku[22]
Leia Organa Solo signature
The signature of Leia Organa Solo, written in a cursive form of this alphabet

Arhul Hextrophon[23]
Obi-Wan Kenobi[22]
Rejlii Mithel[24]
Mon Mothma[20]
Ral'Rai Muvunc[25]
Voren Na'al[8]
Leia Organa Solo[20]
Mirash Peet[25]
Lesan Ramier[26]
Obo Rin[27]
Anakin Skywalker[22]
Luke Skywalker[22]
Roark Slader[28]
Ahsoka Tano[22]
Yoda[22]
Droid names examplesEdit
SienarCargoFerry-TF
A Sienar Fleet Systems transport decorated with the alternate Basic alphabet

Droid names often derived from letters in this alphabet:

Atedeeate
Artoo-Detoo
See-Threepio
Emtrey
Emkay
Fourex
Geenine
Ninebeedee
Teethree
Too-Onebee
Other examplesEdit
The Imperial I-class Star Destroyer Gnisnal had corridors named Q and R.[29]
C-beams
The display in Barb Mentir's Flarestar-class attack shuttle contained High Galactic letters.
Behind the scenesEdit
Aurebesh 2004
The tractor beam information gauge, as it appears in the original A New Hope (top) and the 2004 DVD version (bottom)

The High Galactic alphabet is identical to the real-world English alphabet, the alphabet of the English language, which itself is essentially identical to the in-universe language Galactic Basic Standard. This alphabet is derived from, and sometimes referred to, as the Latin or Roman alphabet, the most common alphabet family of Western nations.

This article describes the occurrences of the English alphabet in the Star Wars universe. Although canon and Legends have both established the fictitious writing system of Aurebesh, it is somewhat unsurprising that this alphabet, especially its American English variant, appears in the Star Wars universe, as the Star Wars movies and most Expanded Universe materials are of American origin.

CanonicityEdit
"Well, actually, they do use the Roman alphabet in the Star Wars universe."
―Pablo Hidalgo[src]
The Latin alphabet has appeared in several instances of the original trilogy and the Expanded Universe, but its appearance was unexplained before it was dubbed the "High Galactic alphabet" in the Hyperspace-exclusive article The Written Word.[1] Roman labels in Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope were edited into Aurebesh in the 2004 DVD release, suggesting that George Lucas believed that real-world Roman letters don't belong in the Star Wars universe.

However, in the way that Galactic Basic is English, Roman letters were seen in some in-universe inscriptions (such as the Jedi Code) or emblems, like that of the Jedi Order. The text seen on viewscreens in The Star Wars Holiday Special is in Roman, rather than Aurebesh, due to the fact that Aurebesh had yet to be invented at the time in the real world. Aurebesh was introduced later, in The Empire Strikes Back (when R2-D2's conversation with Luke Skywalker in the X-wing on the way to Dagobah is translated on the ship's dashboard readout).

In The Clone Wars episode The Gungan General, a display in Barb Mentir's Flarestar-class attack shuttle shows High Galactic letters; it says "WHATEVER 123467-RR."

Some instances show both Roman and Aurebesh alongside each other (such as the Corporate Sector Authority logo), showing that the two coexisted. Various starfighters (X-wing, Y-wing, A-wing, etc.) were named for characters from the Roman alphabet, as the shapes of these craft do not match the shapes of the corresponding letters in Aurebesh. Other craft were named after letters in the Aurebesh alphabet (Aurek-class tactical strikefighter) or real-world Greek alphabet (Lambda-class T-4a shuttle).

Droids, too, are named with the alphabet, such as R2-D2 being called "Artoo-Detoo" rather than "Reshtoo Dorntoo," and C-3PO being See-Threepio and not Cresh-ThreePethOsk. Clone Troopers are also sometimes code-named in games such as Star Wars: Battlefront.

The Tokyo Disneyland queue videos for both Star Tours and Star Tours: The Adventures Continue contain English writing using both Roman lettering/"High Galactic" and Aurebesh, along with Japanese writing. The Disneyland Paris version of the former ride used French writing and speech.

Non-canon appearancesEdit
The Happy Nerf Herder's signage was in Basic, as were various other Coruscant signs around 50 BBY.[30] Darth Vader wrote his diary in this script.[31]

Wheeeeeee what a fun saga.

x-wing is short for xesh-wing you're welcome

fuck star wars, this is bullshit

Darth Vader wrote his diary in this script.

'dear diary, today i tried to kill my son and then i had beans on toast for tea it was good'