Why you dont like them

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what traits do other people have that makes you like them less? could you be more tolerant? or do you feel you cut them enough slack as it is?

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Selfishness, thoughtlessness, narrow-mindedness, deafeatism.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

deafeatism - This of course means people who don't like to eat deaf people. I love eating deaf people and anybody who doens't is a cunt.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Coming from a priveleged background.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Yep, me too.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

There is one person that i dislike in the biggest way. She is bigoted, narrow minded, racist, up her own arse, vindictive & has a superiority complex that really isn't deserved. I could be a more tolerant person in general but a combination of the above traits is just too much for me to bear!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Willful ignorance. Nothing is sure to make me dislike a person more. Unfortunately, as far as I'm concerned that includes religious faith.

― Dan I., Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

One thing that gets my back up more than anything else is a combination of ignorance/arrogance and the refusal to listen to people (which I suppose is part of arrogance). Oh, and trying to impose views on other people, and being judgemental.

― Vicky (Vicky), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

It's hard to answer this question without coming over all Miss World contestant. "What do you hate most? Intolerance."

The pettiest dislike I have is of loud, brash people.

I cut people a lot of slack. I'm quite good at stopping disliking people, probably too good.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Dressing like a complete cretin, as well. Qf the guy sitting opposite me in the pub the other week: wifebeater vest, retro mechanic totally unbuttoned, sweatbands, 3/4 sk8r jeans. I mean... what the fuck?

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:32 (twenty-two years ago)

There are two things that I find dislikeable about people at all times - one is when people have an overinflated sense of themselves, the other is when they are guilty of complete and utter self-absorption.

Non unrelatedly, these are the two things I most worry that people might see in me.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Self importance. Inability to laugh at themselves. Arrogance. Selfishness. Overt cleverness to 'impress'.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Taking themselves too seriously. Being close-minded and judgemental. Attention-seeking and rudeness.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Also, I do wonder whether the majority of the time people dislike other people simply in return for being disliked by that particular person. A mixture of hurt feelings and "I don't need your approval!"

There is one person in particular on this board who will remain nameless who I suspect bases his opinion on every other poster upon whether or not they are nice to them at the expense of everything else. I don't like this, but I find it understandable.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I knew it! You all hate me!

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I love David.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh horrible singers who insist on singing ALL THE TIME.

― Dan I., Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Matt we all do that at least a little bit. OK Geir didn't, bless him.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

An (often aged) ringfenced mind.

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Is it possible to like someone who has made it clear that they don't like you?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:50 (twenty-two years ago)

It's possible to love someone like that. Like them? No, I'm not sure it is, not for me anyway.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't like people who pride themselves on being opinionated. I hate people who place a really high value on art or literature, in the sense of considering it sacred or an indication of intelligence. I probably prefer listeners to talkers, maybe this is all a self hatred thing, though I don't think I hate myself. Most of it comes from being in college.

I can't stand "intellectual" people, control freaks, moral high ground addicts. I could go on and on, I'm really intolerant and due to my social life I'm tired and cranky loads aswell. Sometimes I try and be nicer to people and I end up getting along fine and then I make a joke or something and wish I hadn't because they laugh.

That's pretty arrogant but it is how I feel.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

This is stating the obvious but it is much much easier to dislike and be disliked in school and college than afterwards I think.

― Tom (Groke), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Alas - although this pair of questions is good - a list of abstract reasons for disliking people looks bland. Who's going to praise arrogance and intolerance, or criticize virtue? The result feels tautological.

Old Look-Ins: Abba appeared one by one on the back cover and usually offered the answer 'hypocrisy' to this question.

― the pinefox, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Of course, you're constantly confronted and placed in the same room as all these other people. At work this is slightly true but not quite as bad, you're not sat down and made to discuss things.

Funny I never found it so bad at school, possibly because college is where EVERYONE begins to really discuss things instead of a few people discussing, a few people joking, and half the people doing their maths homework.

Pinefox is otm, alot of the traits listed are so subject to opinion, it's like the reverse of a singles column.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 09:58 (twenty-two years ago)

If I find out someone I know and (usually) like is, say, a Tory, I then find my mind then proceeds to pick up loads of other things that I dislike about them.

I'm still not sure whether I should feel guilty about this.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Thick, chirpy straight-outta-Fargo Minnesota accents. When you say "yah" instead of "yes/yeah", then ew ick.

(Yet I still live here. D'oh.)

― Nate Patrin (Nate Patrin), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I can't stand the guy who sits opposite me at work. Not only is he a general toilet brain, but he supports Chelsea too.

His tie doesn't go with his shirt either. Or any shirt I think.

― Mikey G (Mikey G), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:14 (twenty-two years ago)

There is also irrational dislike. There are people at my work that I dislike for no apparent reason. Maybe the way they speak or look or act bugs me, but then they prolly dont like me either, ah well!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Entitlement.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Dishonesty. Don't insult my intelligence.

Constant shit-talking/whining abt other people when they're not around. Whining in general. Basically don't patronize me, don't waste my time, and don't lie to me and you're in the clear.

― Millar (Millar), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:33 (twenty-two years ago)

i dislike ppl based on where they are, who they are talking to, what they are wearing, the way they order their drink, if they stand too close to me at a tram stop, the look on their face, if they ask stupid questions, if they put their knowledge on display, use the wrong grammatical constructions, are bossy, are arrogant, are insecure, say corny things, look worried, spit gobs in the street, have bad breath, say things on ilx, think they are funny (but i disagree), are anglophiles,
etc.
(obv i could also like ppl for nearly all the same reasons. i like some ppl who on paper seem like the worst ppl ever, and i dislike relatively harmless ppl)

― minna (minna), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:36 (twenty-two years ago)

1. belittlement/pointscoring
2. lack of empathy/flexibility/ability to listen
3. snobbery/elitism
4. moods/anger/aggression
5. self importance

with the possible exception of aggression i notice that these are not major character flaws, and one might even argue that they are not necessarily bad things at all, but they are things that, when present in a person, mean i am unlikely to gel with, or get to know, that person

i can overlook more serious flaws, like untrustworthyness, lying, unreliability, if they are in a person with other positives. i think its something to do with connection or personability, rather than acutal bad things. like, if someone is untrustworthy, i can like them, but not put myself in a situation where i have to trust them, but they could still be good to hang out with

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

I think everyone is insecure to some extent, and it's the reason people are so cruel or dismissive of each other.

Hey Patrin, I'm third generation St. Louis Park and I DON'T TALK LIKE THAT (my mom, however...). I put it down to having a few books around the family house that aren't about fishing or don't have embossed covers.

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:39 (twenty-two years ago)

although, i kind of like most people, the people i dislike i dont really dislike at all, because i dont know them i guess

― gareth (gareth), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Gareth I know I do 1. and 3. ALL THE TIME but see insecurity answer above!

― suzy (suzy), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I've only skimmed this thread, but far and away the things that I most dislike in others are the things I hate about myself. When I see other people displaying the same traits, I just get angry and upset. "No, don't waste yourself by being like me! Watch me! Learn! And then change! Before it's too late!!"

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 10:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C is a secret smoker.

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Insensitivity, willful ignorance, deceitfulness.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C is twee!

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C is David Kitchens!

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:17 (twenty-two years ago)

I already regret my last post.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 11:23 (twenty-two years ago)

DV, repent by posting on the "why people don't like me" thread.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 12:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Passive aggressive behavior. "Common People" syndrome. Attempting to kill me. That's about it.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I second the passive aggressive behaviour. Especially when people get away with it by saying that they are just "shy." Otherwise, I'm with gareth. I think, though, the most significant thing is when someone is good at something (say writing, academia, basketball, djing, playing the fiddle, etc.) and, instead of acknowledging that yes, they are good at X, they take the next step it becomes "I am good at X, being good at X is better than being good at what you're good at (which I'm not really interested in learning about anyhow), therefore I'm just plain better than you." I think this can be filed under elitism, self-importance, or pretentiousness.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

although, i kind of like most people, the people i dislike i dont really dislike at all, because i dont know them i guess

i think my post (i mostly moaned about surface things) is driving at this a bit

tho i guess it was more about irritation manifested as ill will (rather than actual dislike) - i posted it looking back on a bad day (today) where things were going wrong for me, i was consistantly 15 minutes late for everything, and basically ppl/everything was bothering me.

i almost started a thread more along those lines after coming home from work on saturday night... i was behind the bar for a desperate and dateless ball for 28+'s, and i decided quite early on that they were an awful crowd (ie. the same awful 'no wonder nobody wants them' crowd that i had been dreading). well yes, they were awful - full of finnicky/neurotic/bad tempered ppl. but were they really that much worse than any other crowd? they were - because nearly everybody there had already decided it would be awful long before they arrived - add nerves/tension/alcohol/rejection/etc and there it is yr horrible d&d atmosphere. haha i have no idea where this is going, ok The End.

― minna (minna), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Ultimately there are things about myself I dislike more than I actively dislike other people, really.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Its tough for me to dislike ppl bcz i usually never hang around them long enough to find out what they're like.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I just don't really have patience for most other people is what it comes down to. I'm pretty adept at faking it but even that, I can't be bothered to do anymore.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't stand nihilists. and people who don't laugh at other people's jokes.

― praying mantis (praying mantis), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, I think I can like just about anyone to a certain extent. I love people (though I don't really come off this way in person).

If anything I dislike certain people for my liking them too easily, really charismatic people, witty assholes, the "brash" thing Tom mentioned above. I'm an absolute sucker for a smart, merciless, extrovert bastard. I love ppl like this, and I can't stand them. maybe this goes on the jealousy thread.

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:04 (twenty-two years ago)

ways to piss off Tad:

you talk too much. esp. about stupid things (like dumb TV shows, whoever yer fucking at the moment, yer hair).
you ask me to repeat myself, esp. about something that i just said or is rather simple to grasp.
you disturb me, esp. when i'm eating.
you prefer talking on the phone to e-mail.
you have no regard for my schedule, and expect that i'll drop everything for you.
yer a moron. though usually i'll just tell you that i think that yer a moron, you'll get pissed and go away, and i'll never have to deal w/ yer stupid ass again.
you are a Republican.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:26 (twenty-two years ago)

There are a few factors that would make me more disinclined toward people:

* Aggresiveness
* A certain disrespect for life, the environment and others (hard to define, but I know it when I see it)
* Self-absorbotion to an unlimited degree

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i rarely dislike people... i rarely like people... most i am completely and utterly indifferent about...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

People who have no opinions of their own (subset - people who claim to hold opinions about things but can't back them up at all when questioned about why). People who refuse to accept that someone else may be right, or at least that they may be wrong. People with nothing to say for themselves. And really girly girls.

― ailsa (ailsa), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

my penis.

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Other people have your penis and this makes you like them less? Well, I guess you would, wouldn't you?

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I also dislike:

people who take everything seriously/literally
people who don't let things go
people who are skeevy/overly forward all the time
detachable penises

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I think detachable penises are likeable.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

I dunno, kind of creeps me out.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:35 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like a travel iron.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't want that either!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Every home should have one!

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

No no, I am vehemently against ironing. Also: sweeping, vacuuming, dusting, etc.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

But aren't travel irons smaller than their less portable versions? Do you see where I'm going with this?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

From Dom upthread:

Qf the guy sitting opposite me in the pub the other week: wifebeater vest, retro mechanic totally unbuttoned, sweatbands, 3/4 sk8r jeans. I mean... what the fuck?

Did he have tattoos? If so, sounds yum to me. . .

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Stuff that might guarantee I won't like you:

*be shady
*be proud of your stupidity
*be P. Diddy

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Extremely loud people really upset me, in fact, particularly the ones who are oblivous to how it annoys others.. I mean I just can't take being around them. I suppose general rudness/incivility/lack of consideration for others is tops on my list of annoyances.

Also, see pushy people who won't take no for an answer; passive-agressive people who expect you to read their minds 'cause they won't tell you what's going on; and humorless urban hipster snobs. Urban hipster snobs are totally fine, but the ones who never make you feel welcome even when you go to their parties, and who constantly wear a sour expression for no reason whatsoever, they can go away. I probably just described myself but y'know, f#*k it.

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:55 (twenty-two years ago)

people who think you're humorless because you don't have the same sense of humor they do.

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

people who think that yer unfriendly simply because you don't like them.

― Tad (llamasfur), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 18:02 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like a travel iron.

!!!

― David. (Cozen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 18:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Severe vanity and paranoia (for the first time, I'm actually talking about you. You know who you are. Yes, you)

I have this image in my head of someone ironing a dildo and I hate you all right now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

Kid, half the people on ILX now think you're talking about them. What you need to do is name all the people on ILX apart from the person you're talking about, and everyone will know, like the wise indian chief at the start of that children's Western book that I tried to find the name of for half an hour yesterday. Where are my pills?

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Being rude to waiters/clerks/service industry personnel.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:26 (twenty-two years ago)

milo is OTM

― BLACKOUT '03! (Jody Beth Rosen), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Being rude to waiters/clerks/service industry personnel.

And even worse: Justifing your rudeness based on the personnel's color/age/hair style.

― Christine 'Green Leafy Dragon' Indigo (cindigo), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahaha Nate P. is 100% OTM!!!!!!!!!!!! This is one reason why I wanted to jump out of a window the first time I heard my recorded speaking voice after being outside of Minnesota for an extended period of time.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:38 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't like people who are dishonest and manipulative. i don't like people who have no conception of their own faults. i don't like people who treat life as a competitive sport. people from privileged backgrounds only annoy me if they are unaware how lucky they are and that their life experience isn't the only valid one. i dislike narrowmindedness.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd take rudeness based on bias over rudeness based on the servant/served relationship anyday. Though I'd rather take a hammer to either.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:44 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't like people who treat life as a competitive sport.

A-fucking-men, sister

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 21:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't know how to nail down this personality trait exactly, as it seems like a potent blend of several: I went to Houston last weekend and met some of my Mom's new friends. They were standing out front, drinking beers, badmouthing President Bush. Promising, I thought. But I soon realized that their newfound animosity toward the man they all obviously voted for was based on his recent decision to send troops to Africa. See, they don't think Africa needs our help. It's just a bunch of n*****s. What we should do, one man offered, was round up all the n*****s that we have in prison, give them guns, and ship them back to Africa to let them take care of their own kind. All agreed.

So whatever that is... racism obviously, ignorance certainly, but mixed with such bile and... oh, there are no words. Whatever THAT is, if you have THAT, I can't understand how anyone could like you.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

i could list off characteristics that i hate, but i could probabnly still like someone who had several of them if they were funny enough.

― weasel diesel (K1l14n), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 22:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i dunno man, i just don't.

― unknown or illegal user (doorag), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 00:38 (twenty-two years ago)

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