*that* person

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do you have a *that* person who if they asked you out of the blue you'd drop everything for and run away with them, no matter how settled and happy and content you are right now? they might be a shop assistant or an ex or a friend, it doesn't matter, all that matters is that they have *that*.

― A. Nony Mous, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Chi Chi Rodriguez

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:41 (twenty-three years ago)

or possibly Lee Trevino.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes I would. Don't know if he would do the same. I was just thinking of that this morning.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:42 (twenty-three years ago)

(Is "*that*" a coded reference to an extra vagina?)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:43 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:43 (twenty-three years ago)

How happy are you *that* person not considered though? What relation is *that* person to you?

― A. Nony Mous, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:44 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm very happy without that person. I'm estastic with him though. He's my forbidden love. . .(*sigh* cheesy I know).

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm quite happy otherwise.

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:45 (twenty-three years ago)

well, congradulations. i had a "that" person once, my fiance. some times, at sunset, we'd go down to the beach, throw on some romantic music, and just lay there hand in hand, in silence. silence because ....you know those times, when words aren't needed, or appropriate, those times when you're not sure if youre on earth, or in heaven. unfortunately, she was decapitated in an auto accident last year that wasn't even her fault. this is why i no longer believe in god. but any way, right on for you for finding a "that" person, they're special, and very rare to find

― rthoffman, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:47 (twenty-three years ago)

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:49 (twenty-three years ago)

No. At some points in my life, yes. But I doubt it would have worked out.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:50 (twenty-three years ago)

Yikes. Mark P is OTM.

I'm gonna have to go with an unqualified NO for this question. I don't think anyone would be able to make me drop everything, even if I didn't have NA. I insist on LOTS of attention and time and a lengthy seduction.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Right now = most certainly. Although I think it's not quite the same in my case, as getting (back) together with this particular "that" person might actually make my life more normal and settled.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 13:58 (twenty-three years ago)

probably.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:00 (twenty-three years ago)

shit, looks like my comment kinda killed the conversation in here, sorry

― rthoffman, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:01 (twenty-three years ago)

i do not have this person. but that's okay.

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:03 (twenty-three years ago)

i do but the chances of her leaving barney and bam-bam behind are slim to none

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:04 (twenty-three years ago)

No.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:14 (twenty-three years ago)

I met *that* person once. She was French and an archeology student and for one night only we talked and salsa danced in a bar in Brixton. I very much doubt if I'll ever see her again, but if I did meet her again and she asked me to drop everything, then I would.

― Alfie (Alfie), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:18 (twenty-three years ago)

mark p was that an indirect Red Dwarf reference???!

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:20 (twenty-three years ago)

"There is no emnd to this story. If he appeared here today and touched me I would be drawn back into that forest, that lagoon, that whirling sabath dance.
The sense of impermanence made his hold on me permanent, and his unreality also made him real. Some nights I go to bed thinking I will wake up in that other country with that other husband. He is my husband on the moon, and when it is full, I think of him. He populates my dreams.
When people say 'sex' I think of him.
What would have happened if I had joined my life with his?"

Erica Jong, 'Fear Of Fifty' (Harper)

― Anna (Anna), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:21 (twenty-three years ago)

that's exactly the kind of thing i mean, Alfie. if you had a girlfriend would you leave her for *that* girl too? how far would you go? i have an old friend who is in as happy and long-lastign relationship as i am, and we rarely even see each other anymore as lives have diverged, but if they were to appear on my doorstep and say "lets go" i would drop EVERYTHING and leave, i think. it sounds mad but i would.

― A. Nony Mous, Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:22 (twenty-three years ago)

stevem, only if that upgrades ít from ´barely funny´to ´woefully funny´

otherwise no

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

that person is far *far* happier without me than they ever were with me, but in spite of that blindingly obvious fact, i'd still run away with them at the merest whiff of a dropped hat. for shame.

― CharlieNo4 (Charlie), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Russell Davidson.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Without a doubt, I do.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

I did it.

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 14:59 (twenty-three years ago)

How did it work out then, Dr C?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, I would and I would be willing to travel outside the M25 too. Pure flames where two souls can truly be one beats dull but regular sex for me. Life should be more 'Serendipity' and less 'Dirty Sanchez'.

― Alfie (Alfie), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:04 (twenty-three years ago)

It worked out fine!

― Dr. C (Dr. C), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:07 (twenty-three years ago)

I'd say no but I'll never know until i meet *that* person (if i ever do, that is).

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:11 (twenty-three years ago)

I've thought about this question lots over time and I don't know that I could just 'drop everything' for anyone. This is despite the fact that this cost me very badly a few years back but it's bizarre because it's not as if I don't believe there are people for whom I really would drop everything to be with, even though I know full well that I pobably wouldn't stroke couldn't when it came to the crunch.

I guess when you meet someone for whom you believe you would let go of everything for then you should make every effort to grab hold of them - though your grip might slip later, it's not really about tomorrow is it. But I've found myself wondering, what kind of a person would make you chose between 'everything' and a life with them in it? Is that the person you'd give it all up for? Why should they ask you to? Isn't the 'everything' that surrounds you, that wraps you up, exactly part of what defines you. If someone wants you to walk away from all of that, what is it that they actually want from you?

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:15 (twenty-three years ago)

I think it also depends on what you have before you met that person.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:18 (twenty-three years ago)

Yeah without a doubt. But also, where you're going stroke where you want to go, you know.

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:20 (twenty-three years ago)

I've talked about this with my youngest sister a bit. She's engaged to a Parisian and she basically admits she'll be giving up everything for him when she moves over there after she graduates in the spring. She'll be far from her family. She is double majoring in French and engineering but it will still be harder for her to find a job. She won't be able to take much with her.

IN fact, she's there now visiting for 3 weeks. She's definitely put a lot of money into the relationship.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:21 (twenty-three years ago)

What are her ambitions?

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:22 (twenty-three years ago)

I sort of read the question as only referring to giving up an existing relationship/marriage. Which is both more and less drastic than 'leaving your life', going abroad etc.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:25 (twenty-three years ago)

Well if it's a choice between an empty relationship and the chance for something brighter, it's no contest. But what's the point of being in an empty or dull relationship anyway?

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:27 (twenty-three years ago)

Conceivably, you could be in a GREAT relationship and still have *that* person. That's where the dilemma comes in.

― Archel (Archel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Robin Williams and Matt Damon to thread!

Also the question does presuppose that you're "settled and happy and content right now".

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:33 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't know about that... if you're walking around holding on to some flame from the past or dreaming of the posibility of an old friend suddenly declaring his love or whatever then you got to ask yourself what you're up to really. I know that's not necessarily what this thread is about and there have been moments when I've thought about the what if's at certain points in certain relationships but you know, when it's right with someone, everything else just falls away. I'm not saying it doesn't take work or time but I think if you're not with *that* person, then you have to ask yourself what you're doing just sticking around. I guess I'm not the kind of boy to sleepwalk through stuff.

― Alex K (Alex K), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:36 (twenty-three years ago)

I have more then one.

― polybnw (bnw), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 15:46 (twenty-three years ago)

What if you're in a happy relationship and then you meet someone who rocks your world?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:24 (twenty-three years ago)

bnw! Does this mean...? AT LAST!

― Ally (mlescaut), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:25 (twenty-three years ago)

yes, but they are all Hollywood actresses. Usually the ones with bouble-barrelled surnames.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:33 (twenty-three years ago)

that's double, not bouble.

― jel -- (jel), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Jel in boubonic plague fetish shockah!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:39 (twenty-three years ago)

(agh damn x-post!)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 16:40 (twenty-three years ago)

http://www.cult.gva.es/dgpcbbaam/data/cinema/fgv/cine-nouvellevague-pierrot%20le%20fou.jpg

― daria g (daria g), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 18:37 (twenty-three years ago)

I do yeah, it may still happen.

― Ronan (Ronan), Tuesday, 19 August 2003 19:10 (twenty-three years ago)

If you're in a happy relationship you're already with someone who rocks your world. Odds are the new person will turn out to not rock your world in the long run, so there's no point in even entertaining the thought, really.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:19 (twenty-three years ago)

I wouldn't be in a relationship if I thought that there was a *that* person, as I would feel like I was being unfair to the current *one*

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:25 (twenty-three years ago)

I think that's what I was trying to say in a really lame ass roundabout way Vicky. It hasn't stopped me trying it like that, but it's never worked out.

― Alex K (Alex K), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:27 (twenty-three years ago)

I worry that people create a *that* person to hide their insecurities about their current relationship. I worry too much. i worry that I'm going to come across as 'holier than thou' on this thread.....

― Vicky (Vicky), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:31 (twenty-three years ago)

No Vicky I agree with you actually. If the person you are with is not 'that' person then why be in the relationship. Of course if you are single the question stands.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:32 (twenty-three years ago)

I agree with Vicky too. I'm not quite sure I agree with (or understand?) Pinkie's second comment - do you mean that if there isn't even a *chance* that the person you're with is *that* person? I wouldn't want to be with someone who might turn out to be *that* person, but I know from experience and the law of averages you're likely to need a few goes before you do end up with *that* person.

I think.

(p.s. I think I'm with *that* person right now :))

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:37 (twenty-three years ago)

i think that people have a *that* person until they actually get together with that person. then the magic disappears, at least in my experience. the reality of the situation is never as good as i blow it up to be in my mind. however, i still definitley have a *that* guy. and i hope this time i will let it stay in the fantasy world instead of ruining it by acting on things, as pathetic as that is.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Mark C - Your mum at work?!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Your mum.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:43 (twenty-three years ago)

I was gonna say, cos I'm with *yours*.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:45 (twenty-three years ago)

What I meant is that if you are single, are you waiting for *that* certain person that you'd drop everything for. Of course if I was single then yes, of course! Things as they are, definitely no, I've found the person that did that for me & I want to spend the rest of my life with them.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:54 (twenty-three years ago)

Odds are the new person will turn out to not rock your world in the long run, so there's no point in even entertaining the thought, really.

How do you know this? Do you not entertain the possiblity of meeting someone new who turns out to really be *that* person?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 14:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Cos the whole point was that it was a "happy" relationship. I guess, yeah, you can always be happier, but after you've been in a few relationships you get more clued up on the realities of compromise, acceptance etc. If you're constantly looking out for something better, even when you're happy with your current SO, then either you're very insecure or very greedy.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:01 (twenty-three years ago)

Or very stupid.

― Alex K (Alex K), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:05 (twenty-three years ago)

I don't have a *that* person. If I had a *that* person, I would nevertheless refuse to drop everything for them (which maybe means they would be *that* person anyway, but only *some other* person) -- I wouldn't have any faith in it working out for more than one sweat-and-liquor-soaked weekend. I suspect I have too large a dose of self-involvement to actually be willing to drop everything for anyone or anything; Jesus could come back as Marilyn Monroe and demand that I sexulate with her in order to found a race of perfect demigods I'd be all, "That's great, baby, but look, I've got a pot roast on the oven and there's this story I'm having act 3 problems with ..."

― Tep (ktepi), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:06 (twenty-three years ago)

"Sexulate"!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha!

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 15:08 (twenty-three years ago)

I can't believe me, the been there done that queen with a heart of stone, is defending blinding lightening bolt love. What's wrong with me?

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:35 (twenty-three years ago)

BTW, me and *that* person are currently discussing running away to possibly Mexico or Costa Rica. So if I drop off the face of the earth (board) you know what happened to me. ;)

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:37 (twenty-three years ago)

They have the internet in Costa Rica too, surely?

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Send me a postcard from Mexico, chica - I'll come and meet y'all for a cerveza.

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

Haha Sam I know exactly what you are talking about right now. I had this fit of pulling up random threads today and in one of them I reference having a date the v. night I met *that* person. I don't even remember the person I was supposed to have a date with now! Like, at all. I was stunned when I read that.

― Ally (mlescaut), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 17:42 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi guys &gals
Haven't met "that" person yet, but hopefully someday I will.

― Gale, Thursday, 21 August 2003 02:01 (twenty-three years ago)

That person is killing me. Slowly, I'm bleeding to death.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:23 (twenty-three years ago)

si...

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:40 (twenty-three years ago)

hell no, i got bigger fish to fry

― duane, Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:47 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't even know what i meant by that myself

― duane, Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:48 (twenty-three years ago)

every time i thought i'd met *that* person i was horribly wrong. note to self: i will not recognise *that* person by their haircut or butt size

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:49 (twenty-three years ago)

your own. personal. jesus.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:55 (twenty-three years ago)

The older I get, the more I understand that *this* person is always better than *that* person.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Thursday, 21 August 2003 04:55 (twenty-three years ago)

I really wish I had the guts to kill myself a long time ago. People have been hurting me since before I could write my own name. My whole life's goal has been to become smart enough and defensive enough to avoid hurt. Yet, somehow, people keep finding their way around the barriers.

You can only get kicked in the ribs so many times before you are no longer able to breathe.

― Texas Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:12 (twenty-three years ago)

sam don't talk like that, life is awesome!

― duane, Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:26 (twenty-three years ago)

my sophomore year crush: david *******berg. though i was such a shameless stalker that, actually, i hope i never ever ever run into him again.

― phil-two (phil-two), Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:30 (twenty-three years ago)

yah i do. :/

― chaki (chaki), Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:35 (twenty-three years ago)

If you asked me a couple years ago, I'd have said yes. Now, no.

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:49 (twenty-three years ago)

sam, hang in there.

i have a *that* person, but i wouldnt drop everything ie: my son, for him and i suspect it may be a case of 'rose-tinted-glasses' anyway.

― donna (donna), Thursday, 21 August 2003 05:58 (twenty-three years ago)

Paul Weller. I could not turn down a man with such great hair and fantastic shoes.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 21 August 2003 10:39 (twenty-three years ago)

Peter Weller. I could not turn down Buckaroo Banzai or Robocop.

― bnw (bnw), Thursday, 21 August 2003 12:38 (twenty-three years ago)

Well if it's a choice between an empty relationship and the chance for something brighter, it's no contest. But what's the point of being in an empty
or dull relationship anyway?

Steady sex. Duh.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Thursday, 21 August 2003 13:05 (twenty-three years ago)

Err...

― Alex K (Alex K), Thursday, 21 August 2003 13:17 (twenty-three years ago)

Hey, u know, I do have a *that* person. I dunno what sacrifices, if any, he'll ever ask of me - I wonder if I will be courageous enough if he does?

― toraneko (toraneko), Thursday, 21 August 2003 13:29 (twenty-three years ago)

I had a *that* person. I was in a relationship at the time with my shmucky college bf, who turned out to be emotionally abusive and morally bereft. Yet inexperienced me denied the feelings I had for *that* person. I thought I was being a "good person" for doing so. A couple of years later the shmucky college bf completely screws me over and leaves-- we had grown so far apart by then.

Anyway presently I'm now with *that* person. I wish I had done the romantic thing and "dropped everything" for *that* person years ago. But I definitely think it took time and experience for me to know that *that* was *the one*. :)

― Jasmine U. (Jasmine U.), Thursday, 21 August 2003 13:46 (twenty-three years ago)

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