Are old people all totally mental?

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reading through the East London Advertiser this morning, i was shocked by the the new trend of "senior delinquency" in the area. in general, old people expect to be revered and respected by the young, but after reading the paper, far from holding them in high regard, i'm just plain scared of them now. i mean one 73-year-old was caught shagging a pig on a city farm last week, one 61-year-old was found dead from an overdose of 15 different drugs, including five kinds of heroin, my colleague's 64-year-old neighbour kept him awake all last night by watching porn movies at excrutiating volume and an old woman called me "evil" and gobbed at me on the bus this morning. what's more, society appears to endorse this rising tide of degeneracy by giving these bloody headcases pensions to spend on drugs, smutty movies and whatever else they get up to. what say you?

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 08:59 (twenty-two years ago)

i think the term "juvenile delinquent" first appeared in the late 1940s = YOU DO THE MATH!!

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

mathS.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:04 (twenty-two years ago)

i say good luck to them! Although i might try to stand my ground a bit more when they try to barge me out of their way!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

the belief that ppl over the age of 35 are meek, conservative, amusingly sexless, out of touch, none too bright or interesting blah blah is a MARKETING CONSTRUCT *waves zimmer frame around angrily*

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:05 (twenty-two years ago)

*waves zimmer frame around angrily*

while shooting up and leering at pig...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:06 (twenty-two years ago)

bring on the pension, the smut and the 5 different types of heroin i say.

The pigs can stay on their city farm.

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

why did she call you evil dave?

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:08 (twenty-two years ago)

she was against the gentrification of hackney

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:09 (twenty-two years ago)

she remebered the days when it was good old ackney

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

i don't know ronan, she was ranting really loudly abt how everyone was damned and how we all needed god or we's burn in hell. i told her to keep it down, she called me evil and gobbed at me (she missed, but that's not the point). *mumbles on in a what-kind-of-society-are-we-living-in kinda way*

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Was it that crazy old bitch with a face like a squashed toad who wanders around Angel waving her cane at everybody? Both of her eyeballs point in different directions, so I don't know how she knew it was me who accidentally knocked her over. I fuckin' hate old people.

― dave q, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:14 (twenty-two years ago)

dave s and dave q in aggreeing w/ each other shockah!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:15 (twenty-two years ago)

In the good old days we would have burned her at the stake.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

it just occurred to me that the "treat old people polite, smile and nod and shoo them towards a seat in the corner" = not absurd undeserved reverence for achieved age but a GRAND STRATEGY to avoid all this kind of stuff (ie it's "get them out of the way quickly")

ie ts: "take your time, honorable sir" vs "hurry up that pig has MY NAME ON IT!"

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i bet you'd like that wouldn't you pig? huh?
http://www.newbritainyouthmuseum.org/images/hu_pictures/animals/pig.jpg

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:23 (twenty-two years ago)

this thread is taking a worrying turn...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:25 (twenty-two years ago)

You don't understand because you're young, evil one!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

PP is the twisted one

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:26 (twenty-two years ago)

at night all old people do it, they just are always back in bed before dawn

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:28 (twenty-two years ago)

pink, you're a lovely person and have good trainers and everything, so you know i like you. however, it is insanity to think "good luck" to pig-shagging type pensioners - THIS IS POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:31 (twenty-two years ago)

I predict that in 30-40 years time there will be an explosion in the number of pensioners taking really nasty drugs. I mean, what better time to try crack out of curiosity if you know you're about to die anyway?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:34 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey Dave, no need to be so bitter, you're not that far off their age you know!! booyah!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave will be the pensioner berating kids outside acid house clubs.

― Ronan (Ronan), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

won't the mass ecstasy longterm side-effect have kicked in long before that?

also the total collapse of workable pension schemes world-wide = like about three years away = merry social mayhem ahoy!!

― Grey PanthXoRz Unite (mark s), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:38 (twenty-two years ago)

PP is the twisted one
How can I be the twisted one, I've just passed an accountancy exam?

OK 'nuff said!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:39 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave will be the pensioner berating kids outside acid house clubs

this will be the RIGHT thing to do - jockey slut will obv by this time have taken over the earth and i will be the only sane one left!!!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 09:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I had a wave of absolute certainty wash over me when I read that that Jockey Slut won't EVER take over the earth. It felt gooood.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:18 (twenty-two years ago)

please tell me this is true mark, please... my old age will be happy if you can be sure of it... if it does, however, i may well take up old-age heroin abuse to dull the pain...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:23 (twenty-two years ago)

i may well take up old-age heroin abuse to dull the pain...

I'm sure this has been in an episode of Six Feet Under... and if not, it will be before the programme comes to an end.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:25 (twenty-two years ago)

i have always thought that there is no better time to hit the pipe than old age - and when your money is gone and you can no longer offer oral in an underpass to fuel the habbit - refer yourself to social services for mince and tea dances

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:35 (twenty-two years ago)

when your money is gone and you can no longer offer oral in an underpass to fuel the habbit

No teeth + Parkinson's disease - sounds ideal to me.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:54 (twenty-two years ago)

and possibly by then no solids either

― james (james), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

No teeth + Parkinson's disease - sounds ideal to me.

i like you lot less than old people!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i'll take my first E when i'm 90 and not before

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:58 (twenty-two years ago)

No Solids Crew!

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

The Parkinsons (Disease)

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Dizzy Dizzee Rascal

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 11:00 (twenty-two years ago)

stevenm there's some v good deals on flights to ny by icelandair at the moment - abt £250 (hey, it's my thread and i'll derail it if i want to)...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Old people are crap. but they're still the only thing better than young people.
I was reading an article last week written by a woman in the nursing home. It was the most boring thing in the world.
They had all these topics banned from conversation; religion, sex etc etc and they only spoke about cream on their desserts.
god that sounds like a horrible euphemism.

― Nellie (nellskies), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

yeh dave, £250 is what i'm aiming at - found a Virgin deal for that actually

but this morning i woke up with this awful feeling of dread regarding getting on a plane - i shouldn't have watched that documentary last Sunday about the mid-air collision over Germany from a while back :(

― stevem (blueski), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 12:34 (twenty-two years ago)

But how old is old? My mom is only 50 and the other day she told me she ran into this guy in DC who she knew from the time of Alexander the Great or something. That's great, mom! What else happened?

Ay, I'm so mean to my own mom.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

it is known to the moderators that the count de st germaine posts to this board

― mark s (mark s), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

I work with this one lady that really needs to retire; she was a total airhead even as a youth, now she's a senile airhead. And she's mean. Ugh.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

I am offended by this thread.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Awrr, that's no pig. That's a stoat.

― Aimless, Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

But you're not old Martin!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 16:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's a little exchange with my Grandmother at lunch today:

My Grandmother begins by referencing some scene in Waiting to Exhale and then jumps in with:

G- "I went to see that with your Aunt L*N* and lkjkld and lkjklj and we were SO scared!"

(My sister and I start laughing hysterically)

me - "How could you possibly be scared by Waiting to Exhale?"

G- "Well, we went to see it in the West End and there were black people EVERYWHERE! And they were all screaming at the screen and we thought they might pull out a gun and shoot each other!"

me - (still laughing) "What were they screaming about?"

G- "Well, for example, in this one scene, there's a lady walking out to her car and her hips are swinging back and forth. This lady in the audience screams, 'You shake that ass, sistah!'

(Then my Grandmother makes a very I-told-you-so face as though that story PROVES why she was shaking in her seat and thinking of leaving. ha ha)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 18:09 (twenty-two years ago)

My parents have developed the habit of explaining commonplace and boring events in excruciating detail. Like it took THIS long to drive from X to Y and we went by all these roads, etc. And we wore an onion on our belts, which was the style in those days...

Soon they will begin describing ghastly age-related ailments so thoroughly that I will kill myself.

― mookieproof (mookieproof), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 18:22 (twenty-two years ago)

You should tell your grandma "but granny they're just as afraid of us as we are of them!".

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 20 August 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

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