Momus, Secret Taliban Leader

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Okay, maybe not Momus. But I've been intrigued by the fact that American papers, when referring to Mullah Omar, almost always mention that he has only one eye -- and in a more novelistic than journalistic fashion, as in the very common characterization "reclusive one-eyed cleric."

I was just reminded of this while reading the paper over lunch, and feel it's worth some discussion. It's connecting, in my head, to someone's earlier comment that Edward Said would call Dune "orientalism in space," in that there's something frighteningly sci-fi-ish about the "evil one-eyed reclusive cleric" depiction. (Note also the generic, Dungeons & Dragons-y "cleric," which I suppose is a result of Americans not being expected to realize "Mullah" is a religious position.)

So ... thoughts? Is this a non-issue? Does it say something sort of significant about how the media deals with People Who Are Different From Us? Is it just the flip-side of the way state-run media in Afghanistan or Iraq might similarly charicature the U.S.? Wouldn't it be funny to see a news item about "chimp-faced snarled-lipped American statesman George Bush, in his secluded Crawford, Texas fortress?"

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wouldn't it be funny if this joined the New Answers?

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

One-eyed characterisation for two reasons:

i. He lost eye in FIGHTING - reminder that he is a tough cookie who will not capitulate i.e. this is why the Coalition needs to use bombs'n'guns on him.

ii. His one-eyed menace is a reminder that Mullah Omar got control in A'Stan by illegitimate means i.e. he is a PIRATE!

OK I'm not sure I believe (ii).

― Tom, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

So you're saying this is basically a "Mullah Omar, Street-Fighting Hard-Ass" kind of characterization? I always read it as a "Mullah Omar, creepy alien" deal. Like Dr. No and that heart-on-the-other- side phenomenon.

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Wh-wh-wh-what would be the case if he were really tall with lots of mouth hardware? What if he owned a hat that could double as a sharp weapon?

― Andy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

A-ha... I see we appear to be on the same wavelength, Mr. Abebe.

― Andy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It's kind of both Nitsuh - I get the impression Omar plays up his hard-ass credentials for home/Muslim consumption and the Coalition plays up the creepy unknowable alien stuff. But you'd already mentioned the weird-alien interpretaton so I thought I'd dig for a bit more o' that semiotic richness stuff.

Andy - that would be too scary!

― Tom, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

We have the Big Rapids connection, Andy. All of our thoughts are secretly beamed into our heads from either (a) the bank clock at State and Maple, (b) the Dumpster behind the Grunst party store, or (c) Eat.

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Interestingly enough, a Muslim friend once told me that in the Islamic version of Armageddon-type events, you are not supposed to bow down before the one-eyed monster. If Nick was still at work I'd ask him to research this one.

― Madchen, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

There's a never-ending Chinese historical melodrama I watch sometimes on cable featuring a shaven-headed Chinese warlord with a sparkly golden eyepatch.He's actually my role model. Totally swish. If an infidel or robber crosses him it's *snicker snack* and they're fresh liver on the floor.

― Momus, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I see you have misjudged me, Mr. Abebe. You see, I am AMG post-Big Rapids. I know not of this dumpster and this clock that you type of. Perhaps the pre-Ann Arbor AMG staff has transferred the bizarre spirits.

― Andy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

If they're going to describe in that way, they should do the same with Gordon Brown and Nick Griffin.

― jamesmichaelward, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ahahahaha. Nick's watching SOAPS. Swanky Chinese warlord nonwithstanding, he's watching SOAPS. Ahahahahaha.

― suzy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It may be soaps, but hey. Oh yes, everyone needs to see the two Fong Sai Yuk films with Jet Li once before they die.

I claim credit for the 'orientalism in space' comment. Yay me.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, it's just that *how much stick* has that man given me for watching Brookside?

Re: actual thread, the 'enemy' is always described in pejorative terms. And the further away they are, the worse those terms are.

And is it just me or does bowing down before the one-eyed monster sound like the best blowjob euphemism going? If they can have smut in the Bible, surely it exists in Other Books.

― suzy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You see, I am AMG post-Big Rapids.

And now I've wasted three perfectly good Big Rapids references. When did the AMG move? Does this mean the Erlewines have left as well, depriving the town of their lovely daughters, who were some of the only decent things about the godforsaken place?

― Nitsuh, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Thank you, Nitsuh, I now have a reason to visit my place of freelance employment. ;-)

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It appears this thread has been hijacked. Ba-dum-pish.

AMG moved late '98. There are too many Erlewines to count; I reckon they're all here. Then again, they seem to crawl out of the woodwork.

― Andy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Yes, Ned -- we'd be pleased as punch to take you to the Stooges Wax Museum.

― Andy, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

*how much stick* has that man given me for watching Brookside?

We secret Mullahs have declared a holy war against the shoddy television epics made in Great Britain. Are there any sparkly gold eyepatches in these dramas? Thought not. Are there any Mahabarata-style elephant gods or pillars of living flame? Nope, there are just a lot of grumbling people called Phil.

is it just me or does bowing down before the one-eyed monster sound like the best blowjob euphemism going?

It is just you.

― Momus, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

there are just a lot of grumbling people called Phil.

As opposed to the American ones, with a lot of airbrushed people named Dallas, or the Australian ones, with a lot of tan people named Dannii.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The Stooges Wax Museum, eh? I knew there'd be a place for such a thing.

― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

" 'there are just a lot of grumbling people called Phil. ' As opposed to the American ones, with a lot of airbrushed people named Dallas, or the Australian ones, with a lot of tan people named Dannii. "

Or the Japanese ones where the commercial breaks are misse d if you blink and are only decipherable if you are on speed and coke and espresso

― Pennysong Hanle y, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

No, Nick, all the grumblers on Brookside are called Jaccccchie.

Maybe if we hassle Andrew Collins he would put a sparkly gold eyepatch on an Eastenders character for you.

― suzy, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

It appears this thread has been hijacked. Ba-dum-pish.

It's okay to hijack your own thread, though, isn't it? Particularly to sing the praises of the Erlewine daughters. Particularly Michael- Anne and Liz. If you could only hear my nostalgic sighs.

Too young for you, though, Ned.

― Nitsuh, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you do realize that Momus is placed in jeopardy with the new electronic survelliance legislation!

Newsline:

Swanky, gold eye badged popstar Momus arrested in hi-jacker controversy.

― doomie, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Where is your gold eye patch, buddy...

Yeah...we can play good cop or bad cop, you talk, or you decide.

Insert: Momus on a long dissertion of oriental history, making witty pop culture references.

What happens next????

― doomie, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

http://www.jajz-ed.org.il/100/people/images/dayan2.jpg

― Momus [winking], Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

― doomie, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You look like Al Waxman Momus!!!!!!

Those early creation years must have been tough!

― doomie, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Now see, I'd like to think of Momus as more like Ageha from the lovely anime series "Legend of Basara" (who also gets to be Kicho from time to time).

http://www.slumpy.net/basara/anime/people/major.html

See what I mean?

― Layna, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

http://www.slumpy.net/basara/anime/people/images/ageha2.jpg

― Momus, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Too sauve, I prefer my (newspaperheadline) FACE OF EVIL to look more like Al Waxman with an eye patch.

Wait a minute, how about the soap opera character, Patch for Days of our Lives?

― doomie, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

DANGERMOUSE (see threads passim).

― suzy, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Anyway, to get back to my namesake (alway nice to fuck with people when this blond, 6+ feet tall Omar walks through the door ;) When I read the one-eyed story I immediatly thought: Odin. Which immediatly turns someone into a hard-ass with mythical powers. He probably knowns this, that's why he's a recluse and there aren't any pictures of the man. Fantasy takes over and makes you a far more powerful thing. I was also amazed that he is supposed to be rather young, born in the early 60s. I was almost sure the paper got his birth-year wrong, because you expect Mullahs to be dusty old men.

― Omar, Thursday, 27 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

OK, so I spent ten minutes on the phone to my sistah last night saying about how Osama bin Laden only had one eye!! Well, it's a GREAT fake, she responded. Al Waxman = Moshe Dayan btw (architect of the six-day-war Israeli victory in 1967).

― mark s, Thursday, 27 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

thirteen years pass...

RIP Momus

― welltris (crüt), Wednesday, 29 July 2015 11:16 (ten years ago)

MomuISIS

― Eric Banta (King Boy Pato), Wednesday, 29 July 2015 12:12 (ten years ago)

two years pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bRIRNvfArPQ

― AdamVania (Adam Bruneau), Saturday, 20 January 2018 15:49 (seven years ago)

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