S & D Prophets :Jesus, Mohammed, Buddah, L. Pon Hubbard, etc.

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Who's the boss with the hot sauce?

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:38 (twenty-two years ago)

fritz is a god among men!

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:39 (twenty-two years ago)

oops, could a mod delete this one?

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

You forgot John Smith, you racist.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus kicks butt over the pretenders! Love everyone! Don't be an asshole!

Orbit is a Jesus freak, Orbit has moral fiber you would have to eat more than twenty bowls of Colon Blow [tm] to equal..... wait Jesus Christ Superstar is lodged in my forehead *pulls* out--(pyramid grows)
*ZOINK*
plop

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:42 (twenty-two years ago)

Isiah Vs Jeremiah FITE!

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

hmmm Porn Hubbard.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

that guy with the big smiley face who looks like an oversize water pitcher, except purple!

― rev. jim jones, Monday, 25 August 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

which is the good thread?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

not this one. pay no attention to this thread. it is not real.

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Buddhist!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I watched a prog last night abt how jesus might have actually been a Buddhist or something.

between the ages of 14-29 little is known abt him and the theory is that he was was a dalai lama like figure and that monks took him to Tibet and taught him the scriptures (when they one lama dies they decide on the next one). he then returned and was of course crucified but apparently went back to the east (and not to sit at the right hand side of god or whatever that was) so no ressurection you all!!!

This theory started taking shape when a russian in the 19th century translated some of the historical manuscripts from that time (he published it in a book called 'the secret life of jesus christ').

A lot of what jesus said was shown to be consistent with a lot of buddhist teachings.

this board has gone bonkers and I hope i did a good job adding to it.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:48 (twenty-two years ago)

A lot of what jesus said was shown to be consistent with a lot of buddhist teachings.

Isn't this because most religions just boil down to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Confucious: Do not unto others what you would not have them do unto you
Jesus: Do unto others what you would have them to do unto you.

FITE: Ancient Copyright infringement!

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:50 (twenty-two years ago)

you're all on the wrong thread

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

I've heard the Buddhist Jesus thing before, and knowing what I know about means of transportation of that era and being the son of a carpenter and everything, I mean, it's pretty far-fetched that a guy of modest resources (unless his OTHER dad paid his passage) would have made it from Israel to Tibet and back and not bothered mentioning it to anyone.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't this the thread to talk about L. Pon Hubbard? That's what I'm here to talk about.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

scientology can't sue this thread

― Orbit (Orbit), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:51 (twenty-two years ago)

MUMMIES!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

''Isn't this because most religions just boil down to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"?''

you guys are the experts. I'm just trying to add my bit to this discussion.

Horace: the trip at that time was easy (the SPICE TRADE!!!).

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:52 (twenty-two years ago)

btw the prog was on BBC four: digital TV is good TV.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:53 (twenty-two years ago)

my mummies thread is the arbiter

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:54 (twenty-two years ago)

stop trying to make this thread good, it is a very very bad thread it should be shunned if not stoned

― Fritz Wollner (Fritz), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Dude, also he was God. If he wanted to go to Tibet, all he would have to do would be click his ruby red slippers together. Fuck your spice trade, he was beamed up and beamed down.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

haha esp.slutsky in fancy dress!!

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus getting waylaid by Buddhist missionaries isn't too wild an idea since they were starting to strech west at the time. Always understood the catholic view of things to be more towards embracement of the world then detachment which kinda puts a damper on that idea.

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:56 (twenty-two years ago)

the Spice Trade?
You're thinking of the Kessell Run, man. I made that in less than 12 parsecs.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:57 (twenty-two years ago)

jesus was the SON of god NA. he was human.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

except all that rising from the dead stuff.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 25 August 2003 14:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio that is so complicated that I'm just not going to get into it.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:00 (twenty-two years ago)

but he didn't rise from the dead. he went back east and lived his life and he died a natural death and was buried there.

they showed the grave.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:01 (twenty-two years ago)

its not complicated NA. I wish i remmebered more abt it right now.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

the more important part was the water into wine

― H (Heruy), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:03 (twenty-two years ago)

he can do magic tricks.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:06 (twenty-two years ago)

You should see the one with the ping pong balls.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:08 (twenty-two years ago)

hoy hoy!

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait - how did Jesus go back east and die a natural death if he was crucified?

― o. nate (onate), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Magic!

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

cos he didn't actually die - someone pulled the nails out just in time.

search Joseph Smith, founder of the Mormons... the Clint Eastwood of gurus.

― Freedom Dupont, Monday, 25 August 2003 15:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Whom I referenced up above as John Smith. Because I'm an idiot.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:19 (twenty-two years ago)

i thought clint eastwood was the clint eastwood of gurus.

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Search: Harry from the Boomer Bible.

A Platitude for Mondays

O Harry, is there anything anywhere worse than Mondays? We hate everybody, we hate our jobs, we hate having to show up and spend another endless week with those vile monsters at work, and we just don't know what to do, except look forward to the next Consolation, and please keep it coming.

Destroy: anyone with no sense of humor. Which pretty much is everyone.

― Girolamo Savonarola, Monday, 25 August 2003 15:29 (twenty-two years ago)

search zoroaster

― amateurist (amateurist), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:33 (twenty-two years ago)

cleave ye unto TOBIT.

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 25 August 2003 15:40 (twenty-two years ago)

search the brilliant Bare Faced Messiah by Russell Miller on L. Pon Hubbard. The man was utterly insane... a more paranoid megalomaniac you'll be hard pressed to find.

― Freedom Dupont, Monday, 25 August 2003 15:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Search Jesus from Big Lebowski

― Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Monday, 25 August 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

The fastest but-see-here's-why-that's-dumb argument I've heard vis-a-vis JESUS: THE HIDDEN YEARS, Y'ALL! was either John Dominic Crossan's or Marcus Borg's, I think -- whoever it was pointed out a Roman emperor, whose autobiography began, "The year I turned twenty-two ..."

The idea of an account of someone's life covering all the details is a very new one (the whole concept of "biography" as something exhaustive, tracking someone's life from beginning to end and taking more than one volume if more than one volume's worth of information is available, only goes back a hundred years or so, although there may be isolated examples of it older than that). Ancient accounts cover what people did -- birth narratives like Jesus's are customarily added after death to add a mythic dimension to the person. Having a large block of time unaccounted for is standard; there is no more reason to think Jesus went anywhere significant -- or ever left Galilee -- in those blank years, much less encountered Buddhism or whatever other Eastern religion is fashionable to equate him with, than we do that Paul did. Or Socrates. Or Shoeless Joe Jackson.

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 25 August 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

they showed the grave.

Is it in the side of a hill in France?

― rosemary (rosemary), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Hahahaha, I quoted Tool Aenima on here and someone got me deleted. Amazing.

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

the admin log would indicate otherwise

― electric sound of jim (electricsound), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:45 (twenty-two years ago)

perhaps I'm just going nuts trying to finish this article. N/M

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:53 (twenty-two years ago)

No.... I'm just getting mixed up because of the other thread with the Ron instead of Pon. oh man, just we need... more confusion.

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.hobbyspel.com/inspiration/images/film/caligula6.jpg

― Dada, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Dada has made a believer of me!

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.linsdomain.com/Derek/i,claudius/zeus2.jpg

― Dada, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://thepaolas.com/Emperors/Emperors/Scans/Elagabalus.jpg

― Dada, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

http://image.pathfinder.com/ew/img/review/011019/ruling_l.jpg

― Dada, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus went to Japan and had three daughters.

― toraneko (toraneko), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Caligula... where have you gone?

― The Man they call Dan (The Man they call Dan), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Couplin' Cal has left and gone away, hey hey hey.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 04:15 (twenty-two years ago)

''Is it in the side of a hill in France?''

mary magdalene (sp?) skull is in France (she went there after he died) but the grave/coffin is in kashmir.

the other theory is that jesus loved mary and went to france to live with her but since it was occupied by the romans that could be unlikely.

''Wait - how did Jesus go back east and die a natural death if he was crucified?''

and how did he turn water into wine?

I'm not saying he didn't have these superpowers. what I am saying is that he did live his natural life here on earth.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 07:38 (twenty-two years ago)

mary magdalene (sp?) skull is in France

and in a lot of other places as well I expect!

In the words of Martin Luther, "there are 12 apostles and 13 of them are buried in Germany".

― MarkH (MarkH), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 11:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Julio, are you saying Jesus was our first SUPERHERO?

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

was judas robin to jesus' batman? (oh wait!)

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

okay batman has gadgets not superpowers but both are driven by a sense of justice.

― Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 20:39 (twenty-two years ago)

If someone wrote the Bible as a comic, I'd hella read it.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

I change my mind -- I don't want to read Cerebus.

― Leee (Leee), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

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