ever lost it on a typing test?

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i did, i just applied at a temp agency, did OK on word and excel. when it came to the typing part they wanted me to copy "In today's job market many employers are looking for..." i flipped out! i thought "this is utter nonsense" so i went ahead and typed my own nonsense "..for a needle in a haystack, or a needle in your arm. in the post 9-11 enviornment any subersive activity on this test will be reported to the authorities and the suspect will be sent to Guantanamo Bay or killed. visit http://rroland.net the site for the cave dwellers who play in the shadows". in the followup interview i was asked why and what i was doing. i told them that the typing test material was nonsense, he looked me squarely in the face and said he could'nt place me in any position. I can't stand being un-employed! We have a phony president and about to have T3 for our guv here in Cali. So what's wrong with a little more nonsense?

― jameslucasakarroland (jameslucasakarroland), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 18:35 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe he was just turned off because you spelt 'environment' and 'subversive' wrong

― mark p (Mark P), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I've had similar trouble at job interviews, jameslucas... but not with the typing tests. I just got tired of hearing the same interview questions over and over to the point that it all seemed like some big joke to me. I guess interviewers could tell because they never seemed to think it was as funny as I did. Also, I admit I couldn't take the preasure of that much formality so I'd often joke about it.

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

One thing temp agencies are looking for in people that they place are people whose idea of transcription is to toss out the original material and write self-serving polemic. I'm surprised you didn't get a gig copy-editing children's lit.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 19:06 (twenty-two years ago)

(My alternate response was "If by 'lost it' you mean 'have a toe-curling orgasm', then no.")

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Ha ha.

I got a job because I was really good at following orders. That's what most employers are into these days.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 19:09 (twenty-two years ago)

they liked me becuase i could push the funny letter-buttons in order.

and i got a free banana afterward!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

i sawam through that ring of hell for quite some time.
my advice: have a big ole glass of "fakey fakey fakey FAKE HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY fake " before you head into your next interview.

― kephm, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

hahaha! wish i'd done that, god knows i've had plenty of opportunities…
you're one subversive hippie, man. i love you. i'd give you a typing test ANY time!

― dc, Tuesday, 26 August 2003 21:43 (twenty-two years ago)

*types a long paragraph*

*reads it, decides against submitting it*

*tries as hard as she can to be on her best behavior here*

*smiles broadly*

(p.s.: We here in my family aren't exactly "rock the boat"-type people when it comes to work. Just FYI.)

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Tuesday, 26 August 2003 22:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I do not find it surprising that you weren't offered any work. Mind you, I had to do a Word/Excel/Access test in an interview once and left the Excel and Access bits completely blank. They offered me the job.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 07:13 (twenty-two years ago)

*tries as hard as she can to be on her best behavior here*

You still posted this. Try harder.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 09:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Meanwhile, Andrew isn't bothering with the whole "best behavior" thing as it's so 2000.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 10:45 (twenty-two years ago)

I consider passive-aggressive "I could say something here, but I won't" posts to be ruder than what I posted.

(Also I would actually like to hear what Deanna has to say - I can't imagine anyone having a stonger negative reaction to this than mild exasperation)

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 10:55 (twenty-two years ago)

This really depends on how you react to abject stupidity. Intentionally sabotaging yourself in an interview situation when you really need a job and then complaining when you don't get it pushes every one of my "STOP WASTING OXYGEN YOU WORTHLESS LUMP" buttons.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 10:59 (twenty-two years ago)

(Hmm, I think I have my disdainometer set too high today.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 11:03 (twenty-two years ago)

DisDANometer.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I could put it any better than what Dan put it, though I *was* going to put it in slightly milder terms of, "Well, it should've been clear to you just exactly WHY they were expecting you to type out that exact selection of text instead of just let you go crazy at the keyboard" instead. And I would've said something similar to Archel's first sentence instead of "Stop wasting oxygen", etc. You know, a bit less disdanful (thanks Dan & Archel!) and more "I neither can't nor do I want to understand you as I don't want to ever be considered unhireable." Eh, so much for "best behavior". ;)

― Just Deanna (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Dan, is everything okay? You're seeming a bit jumpy (i.e. like wot I usually am).

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm very tired and grumpy. (Also, I was trying an experiment where I posted fewer one-liners and more actual commentary and realized that I put the crotch in crotchety.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

subversive hippy?

― kephm, Wednesday, 27 August 2003 12:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, it's a killer, isn't it. As soon as you start thinking all these aggressive, impatient thoughts start crowding for attention and the next thing you know you've told Dave Q he's a cunt ;)

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 12:25 (twenty-two years ago)

... and he's asked whether everything's okay :)

I do agree that the "I can't stand being un-employed!" is dumb, but the rest is just basic dicking with the system. It was a test of your ability to type fast and accurately. That's what he did.

Deanna, I don't know why that's too horrible for you to say the first time, but that may be just me.

"I neither can't nor do I want to understand you as I don't want to ever be considered unhireable."

I think when you realise that understanding something doesn't mean turning into it, you'll start to get much more out of ILX.

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

It was a test of your ability to type fast and accurately. That's what he did.

Mark P's post to thread. Again. Um.

Also, in what universe is typing any old random thing you want to type rather than the text you're given an indicator of your ability to type accurately? It's akin to getting a test to measure mathematical aptitude and deciding that instead of doing the trig problems you're given, you're going to do integrals; you may be showing aptitude but you certainly aren't showing the aptitude you're looking for, plus you're effectively painting yourself as someone liable to go off and do something completely perverse just for the hell of it, an immature and undesirable attribute in ANY employee regardless of field.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I would've hired you and given you a promotion. But I'm not in charge.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

If they are testing copy typing, and you type something off the top of your head instead of what they've given you, it's not copy typing. And if you copy it from somewhere else they can't check with their original whether it's accurate. And lots of the texts are chosen because they test certain combinations of letters etc.

Ie: it's hardly an instance of The Man oppressing you.

― Archel (Archel), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Most of the papers I've had to copy for typing tests were about good typing skills!

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I'd have fired Licious for hiring you. Now get back to work the rest of you.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

(not really. I had a disclaimer but bad html ate it)

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Admit it, you just couldn't perform under pressure.

― toraneko (toraneko), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Typing test = porn filming?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

It's be funny if it was a test for those typist jobs in Brazil. "Oh god no my eye arrrrggghh arrrgghh".

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

It's been a long time since I saw Brazil, but the juxtaposition of porn and "oh god no my eye" has brought up some disturbing impressions.

― Mark C (Mark C), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

If Ned is right and "lost it" = "have a toe-curling orgasm", then my answer is still no, only much more wistful.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C -- the term skullfuck exists for unusual reasons sometimes.

Dan -- question is, was it lost or merely misplaced?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Is that... hair gel?"

― Cameron Diaz as Mary (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

i am confused & hungry % bored

― kephm, Wednesday, 27 August 2003 15:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Ever lost your lunch on a typing test?

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 15:34 (twenty-two years ago)

thanks for the input and the whacks (Dan Perry), i usually have to pay for that kind of abuse

― jameslucasakarroland (jameslucasakarroland), Wednesday, 27 August 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

two months pass...

Help! I need to learn to type quickly and cheaply! How to?

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

www.learn2type.com

I have no idea if it's any good or not though. Don't you spend enough time posting that you know how to type anyway?

― ailsa (ailsa), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Find a cheap or freeware typing tutor program and have at it. That's how I did it, and somehow it more or less worked (I type 80wpm, more or less).

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Don't you spend enough time posting that you know how to type anyway?

So true, but the litany of typos!!!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 17 November 2003 18:59 (twenty-two years ago)

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