telling your crush you have a crush on them: classic or dud?

at this point i think i'd rather know for certain, good or bad. plus my friends are damn sick of hearing about it!

However - i was always glad i did it after the initial embarresment abated. Better to know for sure than to always wonder "what if..."

Good Luck!

how it's worked out for people is neither here nor there (i've had both good and bad experiences) . it all comes down to whether this person wants you or not. you won't know until you try, but if you feel like rejection would just be *too* upsetting...i don't know...just go for it!

or rather, dont just present them with this piece of information, it isnt always a case of whether someone likes you or not, it can be a question of how it happens, they might not have thought of it, and can like the idea, or not, emotions are funny things, not cut and dried. presenting this information cold is unromantic, and will only facilitate if they are mad crushing on you to, otherwise is likely to turn off.

make the move, by all means, but dont just tell them outright, get into a situation where something can happen naturally (of course, it wont be naturally, because you are pushing it, but it will feel natural if you do it the right way).

the other thign that is wrong about just telling them, is that these thigns are supposed to be 2 way, 2 people feeling the same, getting to the same place at the same time, by just blurting out, you are scuppering that process, you are presenting with cold hard fact, "this is me, what say you?", it forces someones hand when they are probably not wanting it forced

not uber well, alas...

This is good (unexpected) news. For God's sake get it out of the way and ignore Carey's advice. Don't do the "I lost a bet, sorry" thing though. Yeah, on cross-post reflection, Gareth's words are wise but the 2-way ideal is yeah, an ideal. There often has to be an element of taking the plunge. Just try to do it in a slightly cool way.

I still have a crush on this individual, but not to the point where I expect a "more than friends" situation to occur. It's all affection that my rational self converts to friendly and general warm feelings toward the individual in question. And sure, it all sounds analytical and not very romantic in the end, but you've got to think this way if you're going to save yourself from heartache driven by self-delusion and silly little inner fairy tales.

This is a somewhat bizarre approach to things.

thats what i was trying to say, you can make it have the appearance of being 2 way, or, at least, slightly less oneway, its nice if they feel they are involved in making things happen, instead of being presented with everything de facto, "hello, you slot in right here in my life!"

Made/Makes perfect sense to me, really. Then again, I could imagine myself having a similar thought process.

And I suppose in certain instances, revealing crushes would be utterly, completely "dud"-ish, but I feel like I wouldn't have been as "there" mentally had I had this going in the back of my mind. It's been a huge release for me and I can be 100% there for the friendship, which I feel is more important than keeping up appearances and hiding feelings for someone, from that same someone. Eh. I'm weird.

(also fiona: just kiss him!!!)

If you want substantiating evidence, just look up any of my crush threads. It ruins friendships.

Right, web cafe time up again so I can't say any more...

Or wait, I'm with Teeny on second thought, go for the kiss, if you want to be on the safe side make sure to be drunk, that's always an excuse if things go wrong.

i LOVE teeny's idea, but it'd be a cold day in hell before i'd ever be that brave, alas.

he doesn't seem to be entirely indifferent, but we both sort of dance around it, so that is why i'd like to get it all out into the open. he is a bit shy too. i really can't act normally around him any more anyway--i get stupid and nervous and i just don't get nervous about anything!

maybe i'll just ask him out for tea. i heard this is apparently a pickup line in japan.

if i was abbotts bf i would be like 'yo baby get off the computer and lets make out'

-- chaki, Monday, November 19, 2007 9:45 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Link

rule #55 of internet: if a relationship is mooted on a messageboard before it happens, it will never happen

-- Just got offed, Friday, 9 November 2007 16:42 (1 week ago) Bookmark Link

btw i just furiously scrawled a side of objectivist poetry blabbering. it is important that i did this before sobriety had a chance to filter in.

this thread is now very o_O for several reasons

i do not have a crush on abbott

he has repeatedly noted I have bad taste in everything...I've come to terms with my bad taste. *shrugs*

i happen to be a v. friendly person, so unfortunately being flirty frequently gets misconstrued as my own tendencies toward extreme friendliness. AND vice versa!

OH BOY have I had this problem in my life.

i do find her super foxy however

you have a crush on the populace of the internet

true

completely dud mostly because girls are teh suck! In a second the haughtily aloof dude becomes the obsessive creep to them

heave ho don't project

Heave, I would not expect you to be haughtily aloof.

That is how i'm known among the girls. Married women, confirmed spinsters etc. OTOH flirt with me all the fucking time for some reason.

just do it.

although you probably have by this stage.

this seems the best method - "go for flirting being really complimentary etc, so it's total apparent, see what they do back, if it's looking good do what teeny says and kiss them... if they don't tell you to get lost, then you do at least have something worth "talking about" later..."

don't do it unless you you reckon you're in there.

otherwise you'll just come across as a bit of a saddo/stalker and get a rep for it with your crushes' clique . also, if someone knows you like them and the feeling isn't mutual, they can play all kinds of games with you. form of power, innit.

never let on!

see the gay thread