i'm sorry.

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When i found this place, it was not my intent to spread hate, bigotry, and discontent.on a side note, homophilia? no, you all are the ones callin me gay. any way, i don't know what the hell's wrong with me, everything has a dream-like feel to it. my vulgarity and bogusly evil attitude.... makybe it's partly the meds, maybe i was just blowin off steam from the crap that's goin on. maybe everyone these days are right and my parents are wrong, maybe i really do have a dark, evil, twisted , pathetic soul. dunno. but i promise i won' type another friggin thing here. guess i really don't belong anywhere. at any rate, i Am sorry. it is I who doesn't even desearve a response to this, so ya don't even gottaa worry bout postin a response. don't know whats wrong with me. party on, yall

― ryan t hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

why, what did you do? i didnt see it.

― duane, Friday, 29 August 2003 14:18 (twenty-two years ago)

well, if it makes you feel better i have obsevered many others on this messge board being extremely nasty to one another. it is kind of sickening. at least you are apologizing and not continuing.

― Emilymv (Emilymv), Friday, 29 August 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm with duane - what did you do? At least post the link!

― Johnney B (Johnney B), Friday, 29 August 2003 14:23 (twenty-two years ago)

If you think we called you gay, and if you think we said it was a BAD thing, then perhaps it's for the best.

― Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 29 August 2003 14:30 (twenty-two years ago)

well, john, i'm a corrupt, evil, bastardo-loser. and i'm getting exactly what i deserve, as far as karma. my first fiance died a few years ago, i no longer have a pcl in my right knee, i have epilepsy, a compression fracture in my back, my second fiance went mental on me , left me, and as of yesterday evening, she died , as well. so, children, there is such a thing as karma. but my time is up, goodbye. goddarn it, i don't even feel like livin anymore. well, have bodacious lives, yall, yer all, excluding a few retardo-jerks, good people

― ryan t hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

as long as you're not just saying this to try and mess with our minds and fool us...

oh wait, that would probably be better than if you were telling the truth :(

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 29 August 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

it's amazing how easy it is, in fact, to be needlessly rude online but I'm sure we all do it. Hmmm. I think you just apologise and move on - at least he apologised (for whatever it was).

Forget Karma Ryan - those things happened for reasons that are completely out of your control. Its nothing to do with your behaviour or anything else - these things are (sadly perhaps) random. C'mon!

― jed_e_3 (jed_e_3), Friday, 29 August 2003 14:46 (twenty-two years ago)

no, there is karma, we do indeed pay for our actions, what goes around does come around, and mine is indeed coming around. these weren't random events, they were all in a string, there is a reason for all of this, what really saddens me is the thought that maybe renee and celeste lost their lives for affiliating with my corrupt essence. maybe i am indeed cursed, who knows. i don't really think it matters any more. and now i'm a friggin liar because i said i won't pester ya all, but here i am. shit, i can't even get that right.

― ryan hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:18 (twenty-two years ago)

karma takes place over the course of many lifetimes Ryan, in the Buddhist tradition. All you can do is be a compassionate person in this life and hope to reborn further from Samsara.
But non-metaphysically, my advice on getting into this board, and it seems like you generally like it here, as do I, is don't take things that personally. The knee-jerk reactions here are sometimes what makes it great and sometimes what makes it terrible.
Don't feel that you have to respond to everything and remember that there will always be people that disagree with you.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:26 (twenty-two years ago)

hi ryan how did you find this place?

― ><@9`/9 (gygax!), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:29 (twenty-two years ago)

how I found this place? actually it was a typo

― ryan hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:37 (twenty-two years ago)

what kind of typo?

― ><@9`/9gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

what kind of typo?

― ><@9`/9 (gygax!), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:39 (twenty-two years ago)

like making a typo while searching the web?

― ><@9`/9 (gygax!), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:40 (twenty-two years ago)

and there i go , making a liar of myself again. too hard on myself? no, i don't take things said in here personally, but what i have said is reflective of what i'm realizing i really am. damn it, i swear to god, i'd blow my friggin head off if i didn't have my family. love my parents too much, and i know how that sort of thing would be selfish, cuz it would devistate them doin the ole kurt cobain. what i pray about? honestly, at night, i think of all those poor souls dying unjustly, and i ask if i can be in their shoes. the good, pure souls dying at a tender age, usually following excruciating pain, and the evil, twisted souls living forever, it ain't right. those people don't deserve that, if someone's got to die, why can't i take their place? i don't deserve to be here.

― ryan hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:46 (twenty-two years ago)

yes, a typo, i was playin on the web, looking for a band, and i accidently came here,

― rthoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:47 (twenty-two years ago)

here as in ILX or here as in Planet Earth?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:48 (twenty-two years ago)

ah, just curious, thanks.

― ><@9`/9 (gygax!), Friday, 29 August 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

but i'm gunna stop typing now. cuz i was only trying to illustrate a point, but i've saddened and disgusted people with my self hatred. its about time my self centered , self loathing ass stops bringin down the happy atmosphere of this place

― ryan t hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:50 (twenty-two years ago)

huh? planet earth? as to say you think i think i'm not from earth? am i sounding that darned pathetic? i'm sorry, guess it is time for me to go. peace.

― ryan hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, i'm sorry, i misread your statement. no, i don't belong on earth.

― ryan t hoffman, Friday, 29 August 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

stick around ryan, we're not such a bad bunch :)

― stevem (blueski), Friday, 29 August 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

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