Crazy Relatives/Family Occasions

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Disgust.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 8 September 2003 11:55 (twenty-one years ago)

my family are all mental - but, then again, most people are, period, so this is just something you have to put up with. family occasions are a bind in general, particularly weddings as my aunts keep asking me when it'll be my turn - next one i was thinking i may take a man to as a kinda reverse beard, then they may stop asking. however, more likely that it'll be counterproductive and will hamper my chances of making out with single women there. anyway, i digress: relatives should be crazy, it's in the contract, really...

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I have this one uncle who's a stereotypical Irish countryperson, not unlike any number of the wacko guest priests in Father Ted. Every time I see him he discusses my brothers wedding and relates an incident to everyone about how I was so drunk I fell asleep in the lobby with my top off.

Sadly the incident in question involved my brother (not the groom), and not myself and no matter how many times I point this out he still keeps screaming "you're some bucko" and "you're a holy terror".

It was my granny's 80th yesterday and for the first time since the last remaining sibling moved to Britain I had to be the lone Fitzy in the function room. I desperately didn't want to go and so when my mum was asking me nicely I ended up saying "yeah but all the relations on Dad's sides are fucking pricks".

I instantly regretted this, and expected her to get annoyed but she just said "oh god I know, but just put up with them for a day".

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:10 (twenty-one years ago)

(on my dads side*) not sides.

At least with a wedding you can get pissed!

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:12 (twenty-one years ago)

family occasions also serve as a reminder that you're doing ok and that life's could be a hell of a lot worse - that'sa postive way to look at them... as a good boost to your esteem!

― Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:14 (twenty-one years ago)

There is going to be a mini family reunion at my parents' this weekend, and I am subtley being encouraged NOT to go.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:31 (twenty-one years ago)

The last time we had anything approaching a family reunion was my cousin's wedding. I went to stay with my parents for it, as did my mum's youngest brother and his wife and daughter. This led to lots of interesting logistics problems: my aunt is psychotic, and can't be left alone with her daughter in case she attacks her. We seemed to spend quite a lot of time making sure that they were never left alone together at any point.

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:38 (twenty-one years ago)

My family are, for the most part, all very nice and proper thank you, although the family of my sister's husband are a little more, ahem, unpredictable. To give you an idea, last year at the wedding reception itself there was, joy of joys, and in time-honoured tradition, an actual punch up in the car park, after which the landlord of the small countryside establishment at which we had celebrated the occasion, asked the protagonists to leave. A reasonable request, since it was 3 in the morning and these chaps, having driven up from London, and gotten utterly lashed, had decided to spend the night in the car-park, electing to continue the party with bursts of Happy Hardcore on their suped-up car stereos and a good old fashioned fist fight. Having told the perturbed landlord to "fuck off", it wasn’t until the threat of bringing the rozers down on them was made, that these recent additions to the K. family did the right thing and zoomed off into the night. I don’t know whether they made it home alright and strangely, they have yet to be invited for dinner at my folks’.

― Alex K (Alex K), Monday, 8 September 2003 12:55 (twenty-one years ago)

the only family events that are at all OMIGOD are staged by the wing of the family which has collapsed most spectacularly into divorce and strife (it got into the news of the world!)

but to be honest the worst you can say is that they have more money than sense in regard to such things and are trying to buy social serenity where it cannot be had (eg wedding of a daughter at cowes royal yacht enclosure... *sigh*): they are actually all v.sweet kind ppl when not biting chunks out of one another — the bohemian black sheep of the fambly (= my wing) have never not been made totally excitedly welcome and asked questions abt punk rock by the various beautiful daughters not yet married

― mark s (mark s), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:16 (twenty-one years ago)

The paternal side of my family is batty. Plain and simple. My father is one of four siblings: they're all best described as being 'the black sheep of the family' for lack of a better descriptor. None of them are necessarily bad people, but they're all very odd ducks (like my aunt who insisted going to Ireland to get knocked-up with her fifth child, on the theory that conception in Ireland would lead to having a daughter ... she ended-up with a fifth son). My grandparents on that side are pretty odd, as well. Early senile dementia runs in the female line, through my grandmother, who is now housebound because of a paranoia about all of the that are 'taking over the neighborhood,' so she spends her time watching C-Span and writing letters to political figures about how the U.S. needs to get rid of all dark-skinned people (which is odd because she's of Scottish and Hispanic descent).

Anyway, she also sends me letters to let me know she's praying for the redemption of my soul and trusts that some day I will come to my senses and marry a nice little Republican boy and move to Texas, where I'll be a housewife and mother. And she sends me Barbie Dolls, too, on the theory that it's never too late for me to become interested in such things. Ugh.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 01:27 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't have family occasions that are more than me and my mum and my dad and my bro and they aren't crazy in a bad way at all.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 01:30 (twenty-one years ago)

five years pass...

like 5 people in my family are mentally ill in a way harmful to themselves or others & completely unwilling to consider it.

I take care of myself, people, you can too. Right now my sister is telling me how she bit my brother over & over to get him out of the car (after which she called the cops on him).

― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 22:22 (fifteen years ago)

I hate armchair diagnoses but thy're so fucked up, it's just obvious.

― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 22:23 (fifteen years ago)

adults biting each other is a pretty obvious sign I would say

― Sleep Causes Cancer (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 22:25 (fifteen years ago)

My parents are keeping around a developmentally delayed man who's been arrested several times for stabbing people bcz they get money from the state.

― kind-hearted, sensitive keytar player (Abbott), Wednesday, 8 July 2009 22:25 (fifteen years ago)