Girlfriends--"Great Thing, Really," or "Big Ass Hassle"

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Just blowing off steam, really. Sorry if I offend any females. I'm just wondering if it's all really worth it right now.

**big huge sigh**

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 13:12 (twenty-one years ago)

great big ass

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I am both I should imagine!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

Surely you can extend it to partners in general?

― caitlin (caitlin), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:25 (twenty-one years ago)

it beats being single.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

well, not if its big ass hassle.

― Ronan (Ronan), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Scott Tenerman

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:29 (twenty-one years ago)

having a S.O. can be both but usually the former is worth the latter and if it seems like it isn't then maybe you're better off out of it

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:31 (twenty-one years ago)

steve is otm!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:32 (twenty-one years ago)

define 'big ass hassle'.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, it seems a lot harder to get along with her than it should. Seems like everything turns into a fight.

Thing is this--I sorta cheated a couple of years ago, and we've been working on the "getting her to trust me again" thing. I don't know. When do I just give up and say it's never going to happen?

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 13:38 (twenty-one years ago)

you "sorta" cheated? either you did or you didn't. If it's not worth it to you (sounds like that's the case) then throw in the towel. You're probably gettin' on her last nerve as well.

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

"Big ass hassle" = why I ain't gots no girlfriendses only just baby's mommas.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:41 (twenty-one years ago)

romantic interests are all fucking awful neurotic wastes of time.

until you find the one that isn't.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Ha! Yeah right like there's a "the one".

― nickalicious is a bitter old man, just ignore him (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:50 (twenty-one years ago)

the prophecy was false

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 September 2003 13:57 (twenty-one years ago)

classic, since it gives you someone to take naps with.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

dud, when they get upset and argumentative in the parking lot of the supermarket, thus making you late and not make it in time to hang out with Wayne Kramer while he's at your radio station, playing records and filming part of the MC5 documentary, even tho your friends were there and got him to sign their guitars and will probably make it into the flick.

uhm, yeah.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Teeny OTM

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

people who cheat are usually pricks so maybe you deserve a big ass hassle

― sean g, Monday, 8 September 2003 14:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I wouldn't say that, my most recent girlfriend cheated, but she definitely wasn't a prick. Just a li'l bit of a nympho.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:05 (twenty-one years ago)

I've never met a nymphomaniac I liked.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Big ass great things.

― Pete (Pete), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I have.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

point taken nick, but people who cheat a couple of years ago and still don't have enough respect for their girlfriend to actually admit it and instead make half-arsed admissions like 'i KINDA cheated' are more often than not, pricks. no offence star

― sean g, Monday, 8 September 2003 14:10 (twenty-one years ago)

nympholicious!

― stevem (blueski), Monday, 8 September 2003 14:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm a prick. Yeah, since I'm anonymous anyway, no harm in admitting it to you guys. In all reality, she probably has plenty of reason not to trust me.

I don't plan on sticking my willy in any other girls. But I can't stay away from girls! I chat with a lot of girls that she doesn't know anything about (she even asks me sometimes if I'm doing so, and I yell at her for being suspicious...guess I'm a little embarrased that she's got me so pegged). I guess I still sort of feel like I shouldn't be held back from talking/flirting with girls as long as I know I'm not going to do anything with them.

Sure, she might have reason to be paranoid, but does that mean she gets to make my life miserable with her spying/accusing/on and on?

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 15:02 (twenty-one years ago)

nope. Break it off if you are tired of that kind of behavior. If however, you want to have a relationship with her, you'll have to work out your issues. cake, eat, etc.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:10 (twenty-one years ago)

But I don't WANNA work out issues. That's one of our biggest...well...issues.

It's a Big Ass Hassle!

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 15:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Love is the Great Big Ass-Thing Hassle, Really.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it wrong of me to chat/flirt with other girls?

Why don't I feel bad about lying to her?

We used to get along so well, and I still really love her. I think she's my only REAL friend. She's the only person who's ever been able to put up with all of my crap. And it is CRAP.

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago)

If it bothers her that you chat/flirt with other girls then it's wrong. Maybe you'd have more room to move there if you hadn't already broken her trust. Can you blame her?

Either lay in the bed you've made for yourself and stop your bitching or move on from this relationship and flirt/chat to your cheatin' heart's delight.

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't really/really don't have a problem w/ big ass hassle.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:37 (twenty-one years ago)

define 'big ass hassle'.

1. Insert both hands into rectum.
2. Clap.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

BEST XPOST EVAH

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

big problem if you don't feel bad about lying to her, that's basic & fundamental disrespect.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 8 September 2003 15:45 (twenty-one years ago)

It's not that I don't feel BAD, because of course, I do. It's just that I do it automatically. To avoid the blowup that I assume will happen if I tell her the truth.

I'm a prick. You're all helping me see this. I knew you guys could help.

I don't know why she's still with me.

― Poor Lost Soul, Monday, 8 September 2003 16:51 (twenty-one years ago)

Probably b/c she doesn't have all the info. Do her a favor and stop keeping her in the dark. I'm not passing judgment on you but I'm not sure what you want from us.

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Monday, 8 September 2003 17:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Stone Cold classic except when they are away for extended periods of time.

― Ed (dali), Monday, 8 September 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I'll tally up the pros and cons when I die and let you know.

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Monday, 8 September 2003 21:37 (twenty-one years ago)

people who cheat are usually pricks so maybe you deserve a big ass hassle

they aren't necessarily pricks. but cheating is a pretty big sign that you aren't really THAT your partner. (unless you've got the whole polyamory thing going, which is a whole different kettle of fish cos then it isn't cheating.) and even if humans are humans and we all make mistakes blah blah, if your girlfriend still doesn't trust you a couple of years later then she's never going to trust you and you may as well call it quits.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 8 September 2003 22:32 (twenty-one years ago)

but cheating is a pretty big sign that you aren't really THAT your partner

insert "into" between "THAT" and "your".

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 8 September 2003 22:38 (twenty-one years ago)

di OTM

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 8 September 2003 22:48 (twenty-one years ago)

insert "into" between "THAT" and "your".

Its too early and I'm tired but god that sounds dirty ;)

― Trayce (trayce), Monday, 8 September 2003 23:49 (twenty-one years ago)

It sounds no cleaner when it's evening and awake, trust me :)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 8 September 2003 23:55 (twenty-one years ago)

http://images.southparkstudios.com/img/content/characters/99a.gif

― Larcole (Nicole), Monday, 8 September 2003 23:59 (twenty-one years ago)

"But he's got CANCER. In his ASS!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 00:01 (twenty-one years ago)

"do you like your chili?"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 00:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Is it wrong of me to chat/flirt with other girls?

It's wrong if it is causing some trouble between you and your girlfriend. If you don't want to give-up such interactions and are comfortable that you'd never take things beyond the chat/flirt stage, then you might be able to reassure your girlfriend by giving her free and unlimited access to the relevant chats/emails, so she is reassured that nothing is happening behind her back. I've found that most cases of jealousy in this area grow from one partner feeling excluded from something that is making the other person happy. So if it can become a 'let's experience this together' practice, then things might improve. BUT, if she's having trouble with this, then you owe it to her to be honest and stop (as she see's it) 'pursuing' other women.

Why don't I feel bad about lying to her?

Completely different subject. If you're lying and don't feel at all bad about it, then get out of the relationship. Period. No discussion. No argument. If you're not honest, and don't feel like you're doing her wrong by lying, then she deserves better.

You write that you love her, that she's your only 'REAL friend.' Bullshit. If you love her, if she is a real friend, then you'd not feel comfortable with lying to her. Ever. I'm not saying that you wouldn't lie, but that it would bother you to do so.

It sounds to me like the two of you have some history and have fallen into patterns that are driving you away from each other because that's easier than addressing whatever the issues might be. That isn't necessarily a bad thing, as many relationships follow that path. But you owe it to her and to yourself to be honest.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 02:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Girlfriends, by virtue of their natural tendency to snatch the souls from men are a dangerous breed.

― Rage Against the Coffee Maker (Rage Against the Coffee Maker), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 05:55 (twenty-one years ago)

That's goblins.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 05:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never once snatched anyone's soul, and I've been a girlfriend a few times.

Granted, this may be because I didn't know it was an option...

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:00 (twenty-one years ago)

...or you just didn't know it was a result.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Hey, if I go through the trouble of snatching a soul, I'm keeping it, and my soul box is empty, sucka.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never once snatched anyone's soul, and I've been a girlfriend a few times.

You probably did not know you did it, but chances are, if you were,as you stated, a girlfriend several times over, there were souls that trampled on, beaten down, chewed up, spit out and driven insane. Howver, maybe the term snatch seems to be the source of confusion because it lends to the notion that it is a totally conscious effort. This, I concede may not be the case. Whether true voliton is involved or not doesn't really matter because the beat down is still the same.

― Rage Against the Coffee Maker (Rage Against the Coffee Maker), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:10 (twenty-one years ago)

Gob. lins.

― Tep (ktepi), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Ouch. Pardon me while I go join a convent.

― luna (luna.c), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:15 (twenty-one years ago)

Girlfriend in the male universe is a natural misnomer.

― Pinche Pendejo (Pinche Pendejo), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:18 (twenty-one years ago)

there does come a time when, after the event of cheating, the pay-back must end.
if you decide to 'forgive' someone and continue with the relationship, then yes it takes a lot of time to rebuild trust but it is also unfair to keep behaving like a spy and using the past infidelity as a reason to snoop.
you either forgive and try to regain trust, or you dont.

having said that, i think your behaviour shows that you are not ready or willing to to the work that would re-instill trust in your girlfriends mind.

let it go, let her go and try to figure out why you have this need to flirt etc with other girls behind the back of someone you claim to love.

there are many ways of cheating. sex is only the most blatant one.

― donna (donna), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:29 (twenty-one years ago)

there are many ways of cheating. sex is only the most blatant one.

Did someone say, "Orgy in the house of whores?"

― Pinche Pendejo (Pinche Pendejo), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 06:31 (twenty-one years ago)

It's a shame it's not possible to discuss anything to do with sexual politics, even on a personal level, without the intervention of misogynist trolls - often pretending to be multiple people, except maybe it's a case of Internet Connection Sharing.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 11:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Girlfriends, by virtue of their natural tendency to snatch the souls from men are a dangerous breed.

Cool! That's kind of like being one of those zombies from POTC, I had no idea.

― Larcole (Nicole), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 11:50 (twenty-one years ago)

"There's relationship George, and independent George, the two worlds shall never cross.

WORLD'S ARE COLLIDING HERE!"

― George Castanza aka Art Vandelay (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 11:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The transition from summer to autumn, I've come to notice in the past few days, is the time of year I most hurt from girlfriendlessness. The yearning wind or something, geez.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 12:01 (twenty-one years ago)

is there really something wrong with flirting with other people when you are involved with someone else? if there is, i'm just not seeing it!

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

i mean flirting usually means nothing.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 19:41 (twenty-one years ago)

He's lying though, because he knows it will upset his girl. And he has a history of unfaithfulness.

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 19:56 (twenty-one years ago)

That, or it could be a case of split personalities that have learned to type.

i mean flirting usually means nothing.

But if you are already seeing someone, why would you need to practice 'come-hither' looks on anyone else?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 20:02 (twenty-one years ago)

See, that's the thing, I don't think about flirting as a means to achieve an ends (hooking up), and most people I know don't either.

Flirting is one thing; lying about it (to someone you're supposed to care about and who's supposed to be able to trust you) is an entirely different thing.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 20:06 (twenty-one years ago)

my gf is the best hassle ever.

― TOMBOT, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 20:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Punch n' Judy to thread!!!!

Enter Shakespeare, stage right!

Honeymooners, stage left!

Jane Austen, kick Fran Drescher with your pointy boot and grab center stage!!!!!

Is this really a question with a nonfictional answer?

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 21:31 (twenty-one years ago)

He's lying though, because he knows it will upset his girl. And he has a history of unfaithfulness.

she should be over his history by now, as i said earlier. she's not, which sucks. hes lying, which sucks. dude, this relationship is DOOMED.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 23:19 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.shore.ni.org/images/jimmy_nail.jpg

"she's lying."

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 23:28 (twenty-one years ago)

"I love it!"

― N. (nickdastoor), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

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