how do I stop the madness???

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Okay, I'm in that horrible "other woman" situation--the "other woman" being me. It's driving me nuts...How can I cut this off? I tried this past week to say I no longer thought i could deal with the situation, but the problem is that boy is one of my best friends and has been for longer than his relationship with present girlfriend. We've also been, hell, there's no good way of saying this, screwing around for longer than his relationship with present girlfriend. Problem is, I was in an open relationship with someone else when screwing around began. Now I'm out of said relationship and want to end this whole horrible situation. Boy, however, doesn't seem to be listening to reason--and lives two doors down. It's just become intolerable for me to even be around him. I need to get over this. Suggestions?

― please don't check to see who this is, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey let me just say this isn't me. Okay thanks. :)

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh and sorry I can't help you anon. I"m in a similar predictment and can't find my own way out. *sigh*

― Texas, Biyatch! (thatgirl), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, at least I now know there's two of us!

― please don't check to see who this is, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:24 (twenty-two years ago)

hmm. unfortunately, my life is not interesting enough to help you out here.

sorry.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:43 (twenty-two years ago)

my advice: stay away from him, stay away from him, stay away from him, no matter how difficult it is it's the only way you're going to get over it

― the surface noise (electricsound), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Just don't call, don't hang out, nothing.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Cold turkey is definitely the way to go.

― Aaron W (Aaron W), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:02 (twenty-two years ago)

I fully agree. I told him this was what I wanted to do and he has made it impossible. The fact that out social lives are a titch too intertwined is a problem. Also, his proximity to me is far too close and he tends to enjoy the "drop by" a titch too much. If I cold turkey-it where he's concerned, how can I make it stick?

― please don't check to see who this is, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:06 (twenty-two years ago)

cover your vagina w/ your hands/just punch him in the balls.

he might get the message that you can't seem to communicate otherwise.

― RJG (RJG), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

get him to dump his gal for you, obv.

of maneuver a threesome.

― Sterling Clover (s_clover), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:09 (twenty-two years ago)

And how, dear Sterling, to you propose I do that?

― please don't check to see who this is, Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

You're going to have to be firm on this one. If you need to not see him, for the sake of your mental well-being, then you need to say that, firmly, and set the ground-rules (no dropping-by, seeing each other only when others are present, whatever). You can make it clear to him that this 'no see/no talk' is just until you're more comfortable with the shift in the relationship and you can control yourself around him (stroke that there ego!). When he shows-up at your door, tell him 'NO', firmly, and then shut the door.

It sounds to me as though he's sabotaging your decision be refusing to respect what you need to do. And that is not acceptable. Put your foot down. Be firm. Have faith in yourself, in your strength, in your decision. Know that you can do this. Don't put-up with crap from him. If he is a true friend and loves and cares about you he'll learn to keep his distance until the discomfort receeds.

It's tough to switch from friends to sex-friends and then back to friends again. I've always found it to be painful, but not impossible. You're doing this for yourself. You're worth it. This is not a 'I'll never see him again' decision ... it's a 'I'll not see him/talk to him/ be alone with him for a while' decision. Think of it being temporary and take it one step at a time.

― I'm Passing Open Windows (Ms Laura), Tuesday, 9 September 2003 04:31 (twenty-two years ago)

cover your vagina w/ your hands/just punch him in the balls.

he might get the message that you can't seem to communicate otherwise.

HAHA! I'm going to have to remember to use this one!

― Orbit (Orbit), Wednesday, 10 September 2003 05:05 (twenty-two years ago)

what mslaura said

― donna (donna), Wednesday, 10 September 2003 05:30 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, mslaura always gives such good advice.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Wednesday, 10 September 2003 05:56 (twenty-two years ago)

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