no seriously, it *is* true!

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do you ever tell ppl stuff that you know to be 100% true, but they just refuse to believe you?

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 15 September 2003 21:55 (twenty-two years ago)

like today in the office, when I told my workmates that there were two schools in the borough I grew up in (Enfield, N. London) called Chace Girls and Chace Boys.

and that my mother had an aunt called Constance Norah.

― MarkH (MarkH), Monday, 15 September 2003 21:57 (twenty-two years ago)

And there was a Roman emeror named Biggus Diccus.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Monday, 15 September 2003 21:58 (twenty-two years ago)

I know a guy who ate a bad cheesburger at Rally's Drive-Thru. He didn't know it was bad until later at the bar, before his first beer, when he was running through the crowd trying to get to the bathroom.

He gets sick. Real sick. Stuff coming out of both ends. He's running a fever and sweating. He loses track of time, and before long, the other patrons start banging on the other side of the door, going 'WAKE UP MOTHERFUCKER! PASS OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE, AMATEUR!"

He makes it out somehow. He starts to drive home when he feels it coming again. He pulls off the side of the road and starts barfing again. Before long, another car pullls up behind him on the shoulder and the blue lights come on. The cop thinks that he's got a live one. "How much have you had tonight, son?" he asks. "Honestly, nothing. I just had a bad burger." "Uh-huh. Can you step this way, please?"

After twenty minutes of being sick and talking with the cop, he finally makes it home. His mother takes one look at his vomit-stained shirt and asks what happened. My friend looks down and just sighs. "I got real drunk and threw up all over myself" he tells his mother before going upstairs to bed.

― Pleasant Plains (Pleasant Plains), Monday, 15 September 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

For years I was convinced that a pint of chocolate chip cookie dough Ben and Jerry's magically appeared in the refrigerator of the Kansas City shacklet I was living in, because I knew I'd finished said pint, and the container was in the trashcan outside, and yet there it was right there. No one ever believed me, and I've since convinced myself it probably didn't happen.

(Look, some people have ghost stories, I have magic ice cream. Jam out.)

― Tep (ktepi), Monday, 15 September 2003 22:28 (twenty-two years ago)

no. but when i was a kid, i told everyone at my school that i was related to robert smith, and none of them knew who he was but they all believed me.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 15 September 2003 23:24 (twenty-two years ago)

That I figure skated EXTREMELY COMPETITIVELY on a synchronized figure skating team. It's sorta like the ice capades except 10 times as fast.

― cybele (cybele), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 01:16 (twenty-two years ago)

I was unable to convince a DJ during a radio interview that I had not sampled Herbie Hancock. I was like, 'look, a keyboard solo isn't rocket science, you slow the tempo down to 60 bpm, put blu-tac on the notes that sound ok, and just fat cat your way along. You fix up anything that sounds stupid later'. He goes, 'Yeah, right. He's pulling my leg, listeners. That's defintiely Herbie Hancock'. We both left that interview thinking 'what a dickhead'.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Inside Tottenham Court Road Tube station you can get to the Central Line platform quicker if you actually completely ignore the Central Line signposts and follow the signs to Northern Line on the right hand side just as you have moved through the gates.

― ken c, Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't believe you

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:26 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't believe that you don't believe him.

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:28 (twenty-two years ago)

if you carry on down the stairs you discover that there's an exact replica of the northern line 200 ft below the normal northern line: the only difference is, there are never any hold-ups on the replica and the stations are all right by your house

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:34 (twenty-two years ago)

There IS a duplicate Northern Line tunnel that goes under Balham and the Claphams.

― Ricardo (RickyT), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:37 (twenty-two years ago)

i am very skeptical in nature so it angers me to no end when someone will not accept something i tell them in complete earnest.

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:43 (twenty-two years ago)

like that time i caught a fish about nay big.

― amateurist (amateurist), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:47 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't need the replica Northern Line as the actual Northern Line already stops right by my girlfriend's house. Unfortunately, it doesn't go to mine (at least until they build the planned 70 mile extension from Morden to Southsea).

― robster (robster), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:52 (twenty-two years ago)

While I was still at school, I had an evening/weekend job in a petrol station and some of my friends used to drop by to keep me company. Anyway, occasionally it would descend into riotous tomfoolery so I was on my last warning - never to have anyone in behind the counter while I was working. So this one night in particular, it was late and a mate and I were having a right laugh when suddenly, he said, "don't look now, but Mrs X (owner) is on the forecourt in someone else's car and she's got venom spitting out of her eyes." She didn't come in, but I knew I was going to be fired the next day. So we came up with a plan that we would phone the cops and say that a suspicious looking character had been in the station earlier and we felt that he was going to rob me. (I was going to tell the owner that I was so scared I had to ask someone to stay behind the counter with me) The cops asked for a description and we made up a pretty off the wall one and we hung up thinking that would be the end of it and that my story would be much more credible with my employer now as we'd made a report to the cops. About an hour later, the cops rang back and said "ok, we've got the guy in custody, we just need you to come down to i.d. him." Fuck! We couldn't believe it. Obviously, we had to go to the station but we we just said they had the wrong guy, as we eyed up the suspect who scarily fit our made-up description to a tee.

― Saskia, Tuesday, 16 September 2003 08:55 (twenty-two years ago)

robster, the replica northern line does go to southsea - then it goes further, beneath the ocean bed!!

last stop: the south seas!!

― mark s (mark s), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 09:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Ken C is spot on here by the way, I always do this.

Oddly this happens to me wuite a lot. For some reason people don't always believe what I say.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 09:18 (twenty-two years ago)

i can't believe that! ha!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 09:22 (twenty-two years ago)

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/business/1602705.stm

― Barnaby (Barnaby), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 10:34 (twenty-two years ago)

There IS a duplicate Northern Line tunnel that goes under Balham and the Claphams.

Not to mention the extra set of Northern Line tunnels under the river, that have been disused since the current Borough-Camden section was built.

― caitlin (caitlin), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:18 (twenty-two years ago)

all the times i've played mafia, people have killed me off even when i say truthfully "I'M NOT MAFIA!" because i can't help giggling nervously, grinning, and looking very guilty.

― Maria (Maria), Tuesday, 16 September 2003 13:20 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/ilove/years/ 1993/gallery/meldrew.shtml/meldrew.jpg

― Barnaby (Barnaby), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 12:32 (twenty-two years ago)

do you ever tell ppl stuff that you know to be 100% true, but they just refuse to believe you?
Every damned time.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Wednesday, 17 September 2003 17:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Like my girlfriend refused to believe headlice couldn't jump, even though I showed her several medical sites on the web which said this, and explained how their leg structure made it impossible. She just said, 'Huh! Medical professionals will say anything to sell their products.'

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Thursday, 18 September 2003 05:49 (twenty-two years ago)

maybe you should have taken her to the doctor's surgery where there is always that poster of the two kids sharing secrets (or kissing, or something which involves their heads are making contact with each other) with the slogan "A touching moment. A headlouse has just found a new home".

― MarkH (MarkH), Thursday, 18 September 2003 08:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm the one who cancelled Star Trek!

― Justyn Dillingham (Justyn Dillingham), Thursday, 18 September 2003 09:02 (twenty-two years ago)

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