Improve ILxors lives in one post

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1. While most people have their windows main toolbar at the bottom of the screen, I've found that sticking mine at the top of the screen prevents me from squinting around down there to see what I'm doing. Everything is at eye level and this promotes good posture. It's a bit weird to start with, butgive it a week and I guarantee you won't go back! Also, once you've done this, you can pull the toolbar down a little bit making it bigger so you can see what you've got running more clearly.

Now you give us a simple life-simplifying tip...

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:30 (twenty-three years ago)

Instead of gripping the shaft with the palm, gently caress it with the fingertips; don't forget to vary the tempo!

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:34 (twenty-three years ago)

This thread would have been cooler if it advocated advice for specific ilxors, such as "Ned, get a damn haircut".

― Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:35 (twenty-three years ago)

Click here!*

*[WARNING: MAY RUIN YR LIFE, LOSE YOU YR JOB/LUNCH/EYESIGHT]

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:42 (twenty-three years ago)

"Ned, grow some damn sideburns."

― RJG (RJG), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:45 (twenty-three years ago)

THAT CAN'T REALLY BE TOBEY MAGUIRE! Why won't some photoshop expert answer my question about that picture!!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:46 (twenty-three years ago)

OTOH if it is not photoshopped then that explains why he's naked and the other two are sensibly huddled in their robes, hiding their manhood from comparisons with Tobey's monster cock.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:49 (twenty-three years ago)

Is that David Blaine on the left?

― Prude (Prude), Thursday, 18 September 2003 17:55 (twenty-three years ago)

Yes, and Leonardo Di Caprio.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:10 (twenty-three years ago)

Holy shit my spidey sense is tingling!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

"Spidey sense"

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Your sideburns and hair comments are noted but not approved.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:14 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm just looking around for chris v and sean before i even think about doing ANYTHING with that picture in Photoshop...

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:25 (twenty-three years ago)

If any picture was appropriate for that forlorn, depressed image of Gareth staring in slight disapprovement, that is it.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:46 (twenty-three years ago)

foul temptress!

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 18 September 2003 18:48 (twenty-three years ago)

If I had a dollar for every time I been called that, I could afford an Escalade by now.

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:03 (twenty-three years ago)

'ms. k**rn*y, please come
to the cashier's desk, your
escalade is ready'

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:15 (twenty-three years ago)

Instead of gripping the shaft with the palm, gently caress it with the fingertips; don't forget to vary the tempo!

And just how is that suppose to help shaft-less females? We already know how masturbation works....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:32 (twenty-three years ago)

Haikunym just improved my day with one post! Dreams do come true on ilx!

― Ally (mlescaut), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:39 (twenty-three years ago)

advertising looks and chops a must
no big hair!!
songs mean a lot
when songs are bought
and so are you-
bitch, rant down to the practice room
attention and fame so
career, career, career....

(or)

So you want to be a rock & roll star
Well listen now to what I say
Just get an electric guitar
And take some time and learn how to play

And when if your hairs are right
And your pants are tight It's gonna be all right
(It's gonna be all right)
Well is time to go downtown
To the agent man he won't let you down

Sell your soul to the company
They're all waiting there To sell plastic wares
And in a week or two if you make the charts
The girls will tear you apart

What you pay for these riches and fame
Well it's all a vicious game You're a little insane
What you get is the public acclaim
Don't forget who you are You're a rock & roll star

Na na na na na...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:44 (twenty-three years ago)

And just how is that suppose to help shaft-less females? We already know how masturbation works....

:-0 I WAS TALKING ABOUT PLAYING RUNS ON A CLARINET

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

i don't know what nichole's talking about. I have a pretty big shaft.

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:47 (twenty-three years ago)

:-0

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:48 (twenty-three years ago)

this thread has improved MY life immeasurably, so mission accomplished

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:51 (twenty-three years ago)

:-0 I WAS TALKING ABOUT PLAYING RUNS ON A CLARINET

(peering for fine print) Should have said so, shouldn't you?;> Tis what happens when your Net personality precedes you....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:55 (twenty-three years ago)

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OBOE!?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:57 (twenty-three years ago)

Compress your lips firmly on the tip but don't mash them together otherwise you'll produce the worst squawking you've ever heard.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 19:59 (twenty-three years ago)

Dan Perry to thread!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:03 (twenty-three years ago)

AND THE FRENCH HORN?

http://ase.tufts.edu/tuwe/members/french-horn.gif

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

gently place one fist
into the opening, and
then begin to blow

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:12 (twenty-three years ago)

Don't just shove your hand up there; take your time and get it positioned just right.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

someone was tellin me about a guy who attempted to make love to a cornet. needless to say he got stuck and had to use the only thing at hand, the cleaning fluid for the instrument (sorta like brasso) to help dislodge himself

― Bob Shaw (Bob Shaw), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:14 (twenty-three years ago)

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE OBOE!?
AND THE FRENCH HORN?

Exactly, and indeed what about the fago... oops...! That's actually called 'bassoon' in English, isn't it?
*runs for nuclear shelter*

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:15 (twenty-three years ago)

If you blow one correctly, you'll hear its distinctive reedy honk.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:36 (twenty-three years ago)

AND THE VIBRAPHONE?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:37 (twenty-three years ago)

You'll never get anywhere unless you give it a good whack.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:39 (twenty-three years ago)

*keeps posting from bunker*

WHAT ABOUT SACKBUT??

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:41 (twenty-three years ago)

If you don't buzz your lips, you won't get that sweet sound.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:46 (twenty-three years ago)

You'll never get anywhere unless you give it a good whack.

Dammit, Perry! Such abuse of instruments can get you 5 to 10....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:49 (twenty-three years ago)

*contemplates trilok gurtu's bucket of wet*
*imagines playing the flute underwater*
*un-knots one's lips*
*still sees nor feels any improvement*

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Thursday, 18 September 2003 20:52 (twenty-three years ago)

hmmm... my threads seem to be getting derailed faster and faster...

― dog latin (dog latin), Thursday, 18 September 2003 21:58 (twenty-three years ago)

try to skip a little every day or once in a while...I skip down the hallway: it feels good!

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Thursday, 18 September 2003 22:17 (twenty-three years ago)

stop posting on ILX

― gygax! (gygax!), Thursday, 18 September 2003 22:24 (twenty-three years ago)

Congratulations, you have full health insurance!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 18 September 2003 22:28 (twenty-three years ago)

It's okay to be irony free.

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 19 September 2003 15:41 (twenty-three years ago)

If you can't find the plastic bio-ball for the fabric softener when you put a load in, it is OK and pretty good to use one of Jode's left over empty Yakult bottles.

― David. (Cozen), Friday, 19 September 2003 16:29 (twenty-three years ago)

Instead of gripping the shaft with the palm, gently caress it with the fingertips; don't forget to vary the tempo!
Please...give us more advice from Golf Magazine!
Especially about getting your birdie in the hole.

― Lord Custos Epsilon (Lord Custos Epsilon), Friday, 19 September 2003 17:22 (twenty-three years ago)

Quick way to improve your life: Stay the hell away from the "(that's a good thing)" thread.

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 19 September 2003 18:11 (twenty-three years ago)

so, the "(that's a good thing)" thread is NOT a good thing?

i demand my money back due to false advertising.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 19 September 2003 19:45 (twenty-three years ago)

I have to say, the last few posts (about my friend who did the artwork for our first album) have kind of redeemed the whole thing!

― Chris P (Chris P), Friday, 19 September 2003 20:10 (twenty-three years ago)

I was gonna say so on that thread, but I didn't wanna jinx it :)

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 19 September 2003 20:13 (twenty-three years ago)

two years pass...

i still keep my toolbar at the bottom. what a rubbish tip!

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:12 (twenty years ago)

so you were lying?!

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:17 (twenty years ago)

i guess i must have been, yes.

― dog latin (dog latin), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:20 (twenty years ago)

then i have one for you: stop lying

― s1ocki (slutsky), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:23 (twenty years ago)

That is rubbish advice.

― Pete (Pete), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:49 (twenty years ago)

Don't be so quick to dismiss

― Ste (Fuzzy), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:53 (twenty years ago)

i am amazed by tobey's monster cock.

― elmo argonaut (allocryptic), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 14:56 (twenty years ago)

does dan perry have any advice on how to work a monster cock?

― gear (gear), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:07 (twenty years ago)

instead of gripping the shaft with the elbow, gently caress with the palms?

― ken c (ken c), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:23 (twenty years ago)

Dan Perry, why are you not a middle school band teacher?

― mummy wrapped in bacon (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:36 (twenty years ago)

Results 1 - 10 of about 1,730 for "quasi-oriental". (0.80 seconds)

― Aimless (Aimless), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:36 (twenty years ago)

http://www.80stees.com/images/products/Gremlins_Rules-Jr-T.jpg

― latebloomer (latebloomer), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:49 (twenty years ago)

midnight til when??

― sunny successor (katharine), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:50 (twenty years ago)

If you have an itch, gently smack it rather than scratch.

― mummy wrapped in bacon (nickalicious), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:54 (twenty years ago)

I thought Dan was talking about the cam shaft.

― Fluffy Bear (Fluffy Bear Hearts Rainbows), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 16:56 (twenty years ago)

hahahaha that Tobey Maguire picture.

― Allyzay will never stop making pancakes (allyzay), Tuesday, 20 June 2006 17:36 (twenty years ago)

one year passes...

what a great idea

― That one guy that quit, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:03 (nineteen years ago)

www.lifehacker.com

― the sir weeze, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:29 (nineteen years ago)

was that tobey macguire picture real?

― pisces, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:38 (nineteen years ago)

bring back dog latin! he made ilx what it was!

― blueski, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 15:42 (nineteen years ago)

I prefer putting my windows bar on the right side, the vertical format is much nicer. But yes, putting it on the bottom is for chumps.

― Will M., Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:04 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone else auto-hide their toolbar?

― Oilyrags, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:12 (nineteen years ago)

turns out my gf's sister knows dog latin really well

small world etc

― tissp, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 17:12 (nineteen years ago)

how did you find that out?

― RJG, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 17:13 (nineteen years ago)

oilyrags I used to, but i would always make it pop up accidentally by scrolling too close to it

― Will M., Wednesday, 4 July 2007 17:36 (nineteen years ago)

Vacuuming is good for the soul!

― jel --, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 18:00 (nineteen years ago)

happened to notice on myspace that he was one of her friends, asked her if she knew him

(xposts to RJG)

― tissp, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 18:03 (nineteen years ago)

If it had been Tuomas, it would involve some nekkidness, no doubt.

― stevienixed, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 20:53 (nineteen years ago)

Does anyone else auto-hide their toolbar?

Tool yes, bar no.

― t**t, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 21:42 (nineteen years ago)

Happy to admit, tho: ken c's post from 20 June 2006 has indeed improved my day of 5 July 2007.
Well done ken c, thank you!

― t**t, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 21:44 (nineteen years ago)

I am trying this toolbar at the top thing. It is... irritating.

― kv_nol, Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:03 (nineteen years ago)

i love it when this thread gets revived

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:05 (nineteen years ago)

i'm kind of in shock that, four years later, that picture is still on that server, to be honest.

― the schef (adam schefter ha ha), Thursday, 5 July 2007 16:06 (nineteen years ago)

How disappointing - it isn't Tobey's after all

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 5 July 2007 22:27 (nineteen years ago)

Blimey, that story is 6 and a half years old!

― Ned Trifle II, Thursday, 5 July 2007 22:28 (nineteen years ago)

This thread would have been cooler if it advocated advice for specific ilxors, such as "Ned, get a damn haircut".

-- Nicolars (Nicole), Thursday, September 18, 2003 5:35 PM (3 years ago) Bookmark Link

zing

― deej, Thursday, 5 July 2007 22:29 (nineteen years ago)

autohide has ramped up my productivity by 37 percent.

― BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Thursday, 5 July 2007 22:38 (nineteen years ago)

eleven months pass...

buy stuff from reduced shelf in supermarket. freeze it.

― the next grozart, Thursday, 19 June 2008 15:14 (eighteen years ago)

Then what?

― Michael White, Thursday, 19 June 2008 15:18 (eighteen years ago)

throw it away

― the next grozart, Thursday, 19 June 2008 15:18 (eighteen years ago)

bring back dog latin! he made ilx what it was!

-- blueski, Wednesday, 4 July 2007 16:42 (11 months ago) Bookmark Link

http://www.soulstrut.com/ubbthreads/images/graemlins/headz.gif

― The stickman from the hilarious "xkcd" comics, Thursday, 19 June 2008 15:18 (eighteen years ago)

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