against love

Is there a difference between giving up on love for your art, vs giving it up because of your menial job? Is the tax accountant who stays at work overtime while damaging his marriage any less noble then the stoic artist?

(x posts galore)

It seems like we have to cut romantic love away from family, love of mankind, etc. And there is also some biological and darwinistic elements to romantic love. I don't think its all construct.

Is it better for you as an individual not neccesarily. In theory, yes. In practice, rarely ever. It's actually a very selfish pursuit isn't it? To fulfill one's own desires and create carbon copies of yourself?

xpost, was replying to bnw's post above, though i agree with him again, entire animal kingdom including humans to thread

You know, the compliance required of anyone who gets all the way to landing a tenure-track job in the academy is astonishing, and makes me automatically suspicious of academics who attack others on the same grounds.
I just read an excerpt from this in the Observer and.. .. if academia isn't the biggest panopticon ever created, I don't know what is. Funny how reading Foucault & his bashing on the repressive hypothesis has only led many people to perpetuate it in their endless complaints about this or that form of 'policing.'

well, I'm not going to call anyone an idiot - it's more, this critique is not suprising given the market, is all.

this gets attempted every other decade-or-so doesn't it? (why do i keep thinking of Dynasty as a great case-in-point?? hippies would be a better one surely)

anyway romantic love is great for exactly the reason this essay is arguing against: people who think they are above tom cruise movies and top 40 radio can keep in tune with the mainstream via it

(xp)

I have this horrible feeling my ideas are leading into Robin Williams talking to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting.

it is very hard ever to be surprised if you just stay by yrself in yr room = you will get bored

(*it is however easier to complete books by others if you travel a lot by bus in london)

Just tell yourself that it's not your fault about 10 times, and you'll feel better.

Meant to recommend this as Valentine's Day reading for the OKC folks!

a lot of things are "the boot camp for compliant citizenship." public school, getting a damn job, etc. but in the trade-off between Great Artistic Obsession and a secure and contented life, the second isn't necessarily wrong. to avoid being part of the great mass of human mediocrity you've got to swear off a lot more than romantic love, and i for one am not really willing to.

Fuck love.

With guns.

re-endorsing this book.

I have a gay (slightly older than me) friend in England who is always bleating "I wish I had someone to marry." That sentiment has always made no sense to me. "I want to marry Person X," fine. Short-term ambitious plans about your favorite sex -- "I'm looking for THIS right now in a relationship" -- falls under God Laughs to me. Just go through life and keep your antenna up.

(of course I'm untouchable and alone, so whadda i know)

sometimes the flesh is weak

I can't imagine a scenario where I would disavow the desire to have some sort of S.O.

I really, really need to read this book.

(But I kinda feel like, as an artist, I love my creations more than I will ever love -or more importantly feel loved by - another human being.)

Doesn't stop me from craving it, bcz humans are stupid & driven by urges. But I feel the way about "romantic love" the way frothing atheists feel about "God" most of the time.

xp That sounds more like a pro-love argument to me. Your friend wants marriage, whereas you don't understand the idea of marriage as a goal in itself without the presence of specific love.

<3 love a+ experience

I haven't gotten past 4 dates in at least 15 years, but i dunno, seems like that other person would get in the way

i like having someone to share experiences with, to have fun conversations with... I know so many married/long-term couples for whom this does not seem to be the case, coupledom is this mechanistic functional thing that helps you be 'normal' and 'successful'. Maybe it's where I live, but I see so many couples (of all ages) out at restaurants who do not even talk to each other.. just sit there and maybe play with their phones. Yeesh.

U should go over to them and school them imo

i write best selling books instead, reaches more people

anyway, love was just a thing caused by lead poisoning, god bless science/technolog

Maybe it's where I live, but I see so many couples (of all ages) out at restaurants who do not even talk to each other.. just sit there and maybe play with their phones. Yeesh.

― brimstead, Wednesday, February 12, 2014 2:35 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Don't you think you're projecting an awful lot onto these couples based on brief observations?

Best times of my life have been spent with girlfriends. When things end i tend to take it reallly hard though. Not sure on balance if love has caused me more pain or pleasure but i am averse to this sort of utilitarian thinking anyway.

yeah they might be playing each other in words with friends

xp they could be textin each other, for a start

xp dammit

Or they could just have been together for 25 years and maybe at that particular meal aren't having a conversation because sometimes in 25 years you don't have something to say.

yeah you're right, i was projecting. sorry. "ran out of things to say" does sound like a drag, imo.

and using cellphones at a restaurant is childlike behavior, cmon, unless it's a weekday or a bar or something.

silence has its place, it can indicate comfort

as a true blue introvert i know this all too well

that always makes me think of 'our town.' doc gibbs afraid, as a newlywed, that he and the wife would get old and run out of things to talk about. i'm told it's more like running out of the need to say things.

However it's true that coupledom serves a function beyond pure expression of love. It seems naive to think otherwise. I think "mechanistic" is a bit unfair.

i don't feel like i ~need~ to say things in a good relationship, that's why good relationship's are awesome, conversations flows like cuervo gold

so in conclusion, my post was dumb, fish ~ barrel

yeah, i mean, loneliness or fear thereof is a big driver as well, and i didn't take that into account with my horseshit post

xp

i once took a photo of two people staring at their phones across a table from each other at a diner, and even though my phone was on silent a shutter-sound went off (i guess a built in anti-perv device) and they both looked up and saw me

i think it's a pretty monstrous thing to do though, least of all because you're depressing everyone else who has to ponder your existence and think "what has the world come to" for 5 seconds until they forget about it

i wouldn't say it was that monstrous, it was just sneaking a photo of two people

i like being with someone without needing to be constantly flapping gums, on the other hand i think using yr phone at dinner - especially if you're eating out - is generally a bad look

sitting and looking at stuff/people while not talking is obviously one of the greatest things about relationships, that's not really what i meant when i said "not talking" (which referred more to the fact that the people looked uncomfortable and unhappy as hell, but again that's me judging).
like, just going on aimless bus rides or sitting at a cafe and laughing when we see the dude dressed up as Link walk by.. that's a different silence than the "once in a lifetime" judgy bullshit i was spewing.

it's ok to judge/project onto strangers if it makes you feel better about yourself

lol no

speak for yourself

[annie hall bench scene redacted]

i do it every day

they're strangers who cares they won't even know

sometimes seeing really monstrous people and trying to imagine what their horrible lives are like puts things in perspective

i'm sure i do it every day too but it doesn't make me feel good or anything

Music is my boyfriend.

been a hot minute since i've seen old posts of mine quite this stupid