Stuckey's!

http://web.ics.purdue.edu/~cirillo/stuckeys.jpg

jdsalmon1976 (12:00:04 AM): be there a chat goin' on?
GlincyGulon (12:00:56 AM): I don't think so -- I opened AIM a little while ago and have just been letting it sit here, but most of the ILE people in my buddy list don't seem to be on
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:05 AM): mine neither.
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:05 AM): odd
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:16 AM): it's not like these people have lives or anything...
GlincyGulon (12:01:24 AM): I keep thinking it's Friday, which would explain it, but it's totally not
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:30 AM): yeha
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:32 AM): yeah
GlincyGulon (12:01:51 AM): They've probably gone off to some newer hotter chatroom
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:52 AM): still, they get on about 2am their time on fridays anyway
jdsalmon1976 (12:01:59 AM): hmm
jdsalmon1976 (12:02:01 AM): possibly
jdsalmon1976 (12:02:16 AM): HOT YOUNG TEEN RECORD COLLECTORS -- ALL NUDE!
jdsalmon1976 (12:02:30 AM): BLACK RIMMED GLASSES COMING OUT OF THE SCREEN!
jdsalmon1976 (12:02:35 AM): or somesuch
GlincyGulon (12:02:46 AM): Dude, they better invite us
jdsalmon1976 (12:02:53 AM): exactly
GlincyGulon (12:03:09 AM): What the hell! Oh, maybe Mr Teeny is there and they think he's us
jdsalmon1976 (12:03:18 AM): possibly
GlincyGulon (12:03:20 AM): He's getting all our teen record collectors
jdsalmon1976 (12:03:28 AM): he's running two different aim accounts at once
GlincyGulon (12:04:26 AM): Damn him
GlincyGulon (12:04:33 AM): I'm gonna tell teeny on him
jdsalmon1976 (12:04:51 AM): triple-timing, as it were
GlincyGulon (12:05:38 AM): He better not make me look bad
jdsalmon1976 (12:05:54 AM): yeah, we have high class reps to maintain
GlincyGulon (12:06:31 AM): Plus, I think he's a vegetarian. Or teeny is.
jdsalmon1976 (12:06:39 AM): bah!
jdsalmon1976 (12:06:48 AM): if teeny is, he is by default
GlincyGulon (12:07:00 AM): See? This could be disaster. Well, one of them is and one of them isn't. So probably he is.
jdsalmon1976 (12:07:30 AM): we live in a world of quandries...
GlincyGulon (12:08:31 AM): Covered in nougat
jdsalmon1976 (12:08:45 AM): in the land of Dairy Queen
jdsalmon1976 (12:08:52 AM): where i wanna live, actually
jdsalmon1976 (12:09:04 AM): it always looked so cool
GlincyGulon (12:09:45 AM): Man, this guy on livejournal has been posting pictures of rural Texas Dairy Queens. Which is a weird thing to do, but ... it's kind of cool
jdsalmon1976 (12:10:11 AM): i have a pic of me in front of the only stuckey's in missouri
GlincyGulon (12:10:31 AM): Oh man, I don't even know the last time I was in a Stuckey's
jdsalmon1976 (12:10:43 AM): they still have pecan logs
jdsalmon1976 (12:11:05 AM): which sat in my freezer for 1.5 years before we chucked it out our 3rd story window to see how far it would go
GlincyGulon (12:11:48 AM): Yeah, we would get one every Christmas and I think I only had one (part of) once
jdsalmon1976 (12:12:15 AM): irony and self-consciousness hasn't penetrated into stuckey's yet
jdsalmon1976 (12:12:31 AM): for example, we couldn't find a lick of clothing with the stuckey's logo on it
jdsalmon1976 (12:12:36 AM): and believe me, we tried
GlincyGulon (12:13:04 AM): They could make so much!
GlincyGulon (12:13:10 AM): And someone else is probably making it instead
jdsalmon1976 (12:13:26 AM): they still had godzilla toys
jdsalmon1976 (12:13:28 AM): in early 2001
GlincyGulon (12:13:34 AM): Bwah
jdsalmon1976 (12:13:57 AM): and the packaging had been all sun-bleached, too, since they'd sat in the window for so long
GlincyGulon (12:14:18 AM): That just ... ... that's like an irony MAGNET
jdsalmon1976 (12:14:35 AM): are you kidding?
jdsalmon1976 (12:14:42 AM): it's a fuckin' irony BLACK HOLE!
jdsalmon1976 (12:14:56 AM): starring Robert Forster as Astronaut Max Cherry!
GlincyGulon (12:16:22 AM): That would so ROCK
jdsalmon1976 (12:17:08 AM): OH SNAP! look what i just found!
jdsalmon1976 (12:17:10 AM): http://stuckeys.com/shop/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=39-00001&Category_Code=C
GlincyGulon (12:17:34 AM): There they go!
jdsalmon1976 (12:17:38 AM): i should sell these for $20/per to stupid hipsters!
GlincyGulon (12:18:13 AM): More than that, you got shipping and overhead
jdsalmon1976 (12:18:17 AM): that too
jdsalmon1976 (12:18:27 AM): har! they're available in blue...and in grey!
jdsalmon1976 (12:18:42 AM): fight america's greatest battles with your tshirts!
jdsalmon1976 (12:20:04 AM): HA! http://stuckeys.com/shop/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=42-00001&Category_Code=C
GlincyGulon (12:20:29 AM): Okay, step one, we're gonna need about four hundred thousand dollars
GlincyGulon (12:20:41 AM): Step two, we're gonna buy ALL THOSE MONKEYS AND PUPPIES
GlincyGulon (12:20:44 AM): Step three, the T-shirts
GlincyGulon (12:20:52 AM): Step four, The Civil War, Remixed: Monkey Vs Puppy
jdsalmon1976 (12:21:08 AM): classick
GlincyGulon (12:21:18 AM): After that, all we need is a video camera and we'll earn the $400K back easily
jdsalmon1976 (12:23:28 AM): easily
jdsalmon1976 (12:25:56 AM): enh. no pecan logs for sale
jdsalmon1976 (12:26:09 AM): altho, they have "brittle": unusually crunchy
jdsalmon1976 (12:26:17 AM): http://stuckeys.com/shop/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=05-00001&Category_Code=T
GlincyGulon (12:27:14 AM): Aww yeah, brittle
jdsalmon1976 (12:27:47 AM): i think they have laws prohibiting the interstate transportation of nougat
GlincyGulon (12:28:07 AM): Yeah, it was like the McNulty Nougat Act, I think
GlincyGulon (12:28:19 AM): Cause of Prohibition and Al Capone
jdsalmon1976 (12:29:02 AM): yeah, he had a large empire in running bootleg nought around the great lakes area, and across canadian lines
jdsalmon1976 (12:32:04 AM): hee hee. i'm so posting this
GlincyGulon (12:32:52 AM): The nougat lines must be reopened
jdsalmon1976 (12:33:11 AM): we must rebuild the Great Yukon Nougat Pipeline
GlincyGulon (12:33:35 AM): Or vast nougat farms in Mexico! Nougat plantations!
GlincyGulon (12:33:43 AM): Get me a herd of oompa loompas
jdsalmon1976 (12:34:02 AM): can't
GlincyGulon (12:34:10 AM): Dammit
jdsalmon1976 (12:34:10 AM): they've all been eaten, or deported
jdsalmon1976 (12:34:31 AM): and most of them were fired after the Great Oompa Loompa Orgy Scare of 1994, anyway
GlincyGulon (12:34:34 AM): HOW WILL I GET MY GOBSTOPPERS?
GlincyGulon (12:34:41 AM): Nothing can stop my gob now!
jdsalmon1976 (12:35:02 AM): you'll just need stuff your gob with brittle and nougat
jdsalmon1976 (12:35:28 AM): or, you can always go to work in the Great Nougat Mines, if you want the freshest product
GlincyGulon (12:36:17 AM): They keep the pure nougat for themselves, I'll bet. We get the nougat that's been stepped on, mixed with marizpan and shit
jdsalmon1976 (12:37:39 AM): yeah, 2nd hand nougat. sold at 25% off in a basket marked "Skank Ass Nougat" at the local supermarket
jdsalmon1976 (12:38:17 AM): first you get the nougat
jdsalmon1976 (12:38:20 AM): then you get the power
jdsalmon1976 (12:38:24 AM): then you get the women
GlincyGulon (12:38:55 AM): I'm gonna rename myself Ted Nougat
jdsalmon1976 (12:39:24 AM): and I'll be Abe Froman, Nougat King of Chicago!
GlincyGulon (12:40:43 AM): And on that note, time for me to do stuff before going to bed
jdsalmon1976 (12:41:03 AM): you cannot escape the delicious confectionaries!
GlincyGulon (12:41:13 AM): I wouldn't want to!
jdsalmon1976 (12:41:26 AM): it's like The Stuff
jdsalmon1976 (12:41:51 AM): only, Chocolate Chip Charlie is employed as an asst manager in one of their locations
GlincyGulon (12:42:22 AM): Man, I'm gonna have the weirdest dreams ...
GlincyGulon signed off at 12:42:34 AM.