How long does the pope have to live

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and who in the curia will replace him ?

anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 25 September 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I dread to think... on both counts.

Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

I really really dread to think as if he dies in the next month or so it will really fuck up our honeymoon in Poland.

Tom (Groke), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

I think you should be more worried about their inability to screw in lightbulbs and the screen doors on the submarines.

NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:13 (twenty-two years ago)

why vicky ?

anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, who knows but my guess is the Pope is getting closer to his God with each passing hour. I have a theory that he is dead already, and is ‘remote controlled’ by his shadowy Cardinals who have lined his flesh with a network of cybernetic electrodes which send the muscles into spasms with acute electronic pulses, in much the same manner that the Queen Mother was cybernised, enabling the forces that control the Vatican to fool state leaders and even entire populations with what is in effect little better than a remote operated battery powered Pontiff.

Alex K (Alex K), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:20 (twenty-two years ago)

DJ Grizz for pope (he shits in the woods too).

Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:22 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't want to get into a theological arguement (cos I'd lose!) but I don't believe he's God's representative on earth, and I think he should have been retired years ago. The whole vatican part of catholicism drives me up the wall, and although I don't know the situation at the minute, and really shouldn't care, I worry that he will be replaced by someone just as traditional.

I know it comes down to the 'religion shouldn't be changed just so it suits its followers' but in the end it comes down to interpretation, and I disagree hugely with interpretations of many of the influential Catholics.

Vicky (Vicky), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:31 (twenty-two years ago)

the thing is that on many issues, tbis pope was quite radical, esp. economic, workers rights, social history, the theology of the body, ecuminsim, the role of youth and the lay, etc.

that and he was one of the few people who could have kept the church together, at the beginning of his career as pope the church was half an inch away from splitting itself in two, which would have done massive damage.

about his considerations on women and queers, he was a pre WWII polish man, they tend towards the conserative when it comes to gender roles and sexuality.

anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:45 (twenty-two years ago)

The Pope betrayed John Paul I's memory. Fuck'm.

Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 25 September 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

defend that.

anthony easton (anthony), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark C - do you believe in the conspiracy theory that JPI was murdered? And that JPII resumed business-as-usual WRT the Vatican Bank?

Kerry (dymaxia), Thursday, 25 September 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

I worry that he will be replaced by someone just as traditional.

Almost without exception, new popes are chosen who are radically different from their predecessors. The longer a Pope is in office -- and general consensus is that John Paul II has been in too long, and that the office should have been given to an older man who would die sooner -- the more that's true.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:26 (twenty-two years ago)

The pope really is just the worlds most sophisticated muppet- one day he will grant me thine dainty hoof in marriage.
really, I don't think that anyone who wears a pointy hat can be taken seriously.

Nellie (nellskies), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm a little embarrassed to admit this, but i glanced at this thread title a couple times before posting and wondered if there was some church-imposed limit/minimum requirement re: pope longevity.

mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 25 September 2003 16:52 (twenty-two years ago)

You mis-parsed the "have to"? That's like the thin line between misreading and genius, Mitch :) (And you could make a solid argument that Popes who die quickly have their contributions quickly swept aside, so ...)

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, as for the "who would replace him" bit ... I just read two books on this over the summer, skimming over big chunks because a) I'm not exactly up on my Who's Who In The College of Cardinals, and b) neither of them was published this year, so both are at least somewhat out of date.

But a couple of pertinent things from those books --

1) The next papal election will be the first, since Cardinals began electing Popes, in which Cardinals over a certain age are not allowed to vote. It's an interesting thing, it's hard to say what effect that will have: on the one hand, normally older = more traditional; on the other, it means no one who was around when Vatican II was put into play has a vote, only the people who've risen in the church in the wake of its piecemeal dismantling. Many of the oldest Cardinals would actually be more liberal -- in some matters -- then their younger counterparts.

(On the other hand, papal electoral politics are complicated, and Cardinals are much more likely to elect Popes they ostensibly disagree with than you would expect.)

2) Many people think the next Pope will be either American or African, since those are two very important parts of geographical Catholicism which have not been represented (or in Africa's case, not in ... I forget how long, but 1400 years? I want to say 6th century. I could be wrong.) The authors of the books disagreed, but one of them said an African would be more likely than an American.

3) It will probably be someone very old, because Popes who remain Pope as long as John Paul II has make the Church nervous.

Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 25 September 2003 17:14 (twenty-two years ago)

If you believe "Godfather 3" he was murdered.

The pope is still alive, and not a robot. Unlike Bob Hope, who as we all know actually passed away at the age of 98.

ham on rye (ham on rye), Thursday, 25 September 2003 19:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't believe Godfather III, but consider that the Lucchesi conspiracy with the Vatican bank was very closely based on the P2 Masonic Lodge.

Girolamo Savonarola, Thursday, 25 September 2003 22:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, if I may.. do you study Catholic history specifically or do you just have a strong interest?
It saddens me to see how frail the Pope is, but yes, it has been a long long time.. is it likely then that the successor will be much more conservative, or a reformer?

man, I never paid attention in religion class when I was in Catholic school & I regret it big time.

daria g (daria g), Friday, 26 September 2003 03:50 (twenty-two years ago)

A reformer -- a liberal, at least -- who can play nice with the conservatives, almost certainly.

JP2's public image, and personality, may be very compassionate and very warm, and those aspects may be reflected in his speeches -- but his actual policy has been pretty hardline reactionary, not only backpedaling Vatican II (a beginning that has been turned into a footnote) but going further to the right than most pre-Vatican II Catholics would have gone -- he is even stricter about birth control, for instance, than Paul VI, and the growing opinion is that P6 made a huge error in coming out against the pill so soon. (Many people believe that Catholic attrition and dissatisfaction are due to Vatican II, but when you look at the numbers, it doesn't actually begin until Paul VI's encyclical against birth control; it isn't necessarily that the laity wanted the pill to be approved, they just don't seem to be happy to have its condemnation quite so quickly and inflexibly).

Tep (ktepi), Friday, 26 September 2003 04:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony, you've hit the nail on the head with about his considerations on women and queers, he was a pre WWII polish man, they tend towards the conserative when it comes to gender roles and sexuality.

One person's views (or even the majority view of a gaggle of aging cardinals) shouldn't be influencing what is claimed is the view of god. As he's got older you can see the radical ideas evaporating. Tep is OTM above.

Rather than pick an old pope who won't last too long it shouldn't be an appointment made until death. It was fine in the later middle ages - they died much younger. But to change the process now would be to negate much of the theory behind the position. If they're God's representative on earth, then they can't just be that for a few years and then let someone else take over....

Vicky (Vicky), Friday, 26 September 2003 06:44 (twenty-two years ago)

I think JP1 may well have been murdered, though I also suspect the shady powers in the Vatican probably got lucky with his early death. I do think that they made it clear to JP2 that he'd better play along, which is why his declared intention to continue JP1's good works was stopped in its tracks shortly after his installation.

Check out David Yallop's fascinating book "In God's Name" for more (if not always 100% verifiable) details. It's fascinating.

Mark C (Mark C), Friday, 26 September 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark E Smith to thread

dave q, Friday, 26 September 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

i have a strong interest as a convert, and have taken some theology courses as an undergrad.

anthony easton (anthony), Saturday, 27 September 2003 01:24 (twenty-two years ago)

ten months pass...
http://www.popeface.com/popefacemedium.JPG

James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Current odds according to the traders at Betfair (3.9 means a return (not profit) of 3.9 per unit stake, so it = 29/10) are as follows. The liquidity's pretty low, though, and there's plenty of margin for better offers.

Francis Arinze NIG 3.9
D. Tettamanzi ITA 3.5
C. v Schoenborn AUS 8
JL. Ortega y Alamino CUB 12
O. Rod. Maradiaga HON 15
Giacomo Biffi ITA 16
G. Battista Re ITA 17
Ennio Antonelli ITA 17
Crescenzio Sepe ITA 9
JM. Bergoglio ARG 9
Juan Luis Cipriani ITA 10
D. Castrillion Hoyos COL 38
CM. Martina ITA 17
Claudio Hummes BRA 5.5
Angelo Sodano ITA 23
C. Murphy OConnor ENG 22
Godfried Danneels BEL 11

OleM (OleM), Wednesday, 4 August 2004 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

five months pass...
not long

James Mitchell (James Mitchell), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Dionigi Tettamanzi 5/2
Claudio Hummes 3
Francis Arinze 3
Jaime Lucas Ortega y Alamino 11/2
Ennio Antonelli 6
Cardinal Oscar Rodriguez Maradiaga 10
Giacomo Biffi 10
Count Christoph von Schoenborn 12
Jorge Mario Bergoglio 12
Cardinal Angelo Scola 12
Crescenzio Sepe 14
Juan Luis Cipriani 14
Cardinal Dario Castrillion Hoyos 14
Giovanni Battista Re 14
Angelo Sodano 16
Ivan Dias 16
Keith O Brien 20
Sean Patrick OMalley 20
Cormac Murphy-OConnor 20
Norberto Rivera Carrera 20
Jean-Marie Lustiger 20
Cardinal Carlo Maria Martina 20
Godfried Daneels 20
Joseph Ratzinger 25
Miloslav Vlk (Czech Republic) 25
Jose Da Cruz Policarpo 25
Wilfred Napier (South Africa) 33
Cardianl Ruini 40
Cardinal George Pell 40
Cardinal Edward Clancy 66
Cardinal Edward Cassidy 66

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

And it's Arinze in the lead ... but wait ... here's Hummes ... neck and neck on the inside ... with Tettamanzi closing around the curve ...

nabisco (nabisco), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:45 (twenty-one years ago)

i have a friend at hospital.

POPE IS DEAD.

dewerf ef efewf, Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:49 (twenty-one years ago)

The next pope will be an old Italian folk who hasn't long to live. Look for the next power pope to appear in two or three elections down the line.

Mr Noodles (Mr Noodles), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:52 (twenty-one years ago)

Man, don't fuck around like that if it's not true - x-post.

I heard one of the Latin American guys had a good shot.

Yr3k (dymaxia), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:53 (twenty-one years ago)

Tettamanzi's Wikipedia entry scares me somewhat:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dionigi_Tettamanzi

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Reuters says the pope has been taken to the hospital for the flu.

j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:56 (twenty-one years ago)

This is weird, I just happened to read Christopher Buckley's "We Have a Pope!" this morning.

Curious George Rides a Republican (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I always thought it was going to be Arinze. First black pope for 1,500 years would be a pretty big publicity coup for the Catholic church, plus there's the fact that the Vatican's only real success story since the Second Vatican Council is the rise of Catholicism in Africa (50 million to 90 million in 30 years, according to one website), and he's pretty old school about religion, lots of blood and fire and all that malarkey that'll go down well with the faithful.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:58 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm wondering what name he's going to change to. Johns and Pauls are so 20th century.

There are so many racists in the world, though - surely one of them would try to kill a black pope. I think they're going to shy away from it.

Yr3k (dymaxia), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 22:59 (twenty-one years ago)

I hate to spoil everyone's fun but Sts. Victor, Gelasius, and Miltiades are all African popes undoubtedly, but there's no mention of them being black. North Africa had been in Roman hands since the fall of Carthage, essentially, and these men would, were they not of Italian descent, most likely been related to the Berbers or Kabyles of North Africa.

Michael White (Hereward), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:14 (twenty-one years ago)

surely the next pope will be a woman named "madison."

i have a recurring dream about the pope dying. which is funny, because i don't care a whit about the pope.

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Anyway, it's acute respiratory failure. Looks like the guard should be changing quite soon.

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:22 (twenty-one years ago)

oh god, here comes the blanket news coverage (and subsequent bitter debates on ilx about not showing the dead enough respect).

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

I saw him on the news either yesterday or the day before and the amount of drool coming out of his mouth was startling.

kyle (akmonday), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40782000/jpg/_40782457_dove_index_ap.jpg

Not the most handy of images.

Ned Raggett (Ned), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Pope Les Dawson

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Pope Larry "Bud" Melman

Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40782000/jpg/_40782459_pope_body_ap.jpg

"Dang In the name of Jesus, what has that dove been eating?"

j.lu (j.lu), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:41 (twenty-one years ago)

That Wikipedia entry changed in the last 15 minutes. No mention of the Anti-Christ anymore. :(

Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

why is the pope sitting amidst a black void?

Amateur(ist) (Amateur(ist)), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:43 (twenty-one years ago)

And someone's added a "Possible successors to Pope John Paul II" category!

(x-post)

Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Tuesday, 1 February 2005 23:45 (twenty-one years ago)

is he dead and who knows anything about Dionigi Tettamanzi ? hes off my radar

anthony, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 00:44 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pleased nobody made a 'Weekend at Bernie's' reference.

Phil Gruner, Wednesday, 2 February 2005 02:53 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm pretty sure he's been dead for a while. It looks like they just inserted some kind of remote-controlled mechanical skeleton and wheeled him around like a puppet for the last year or so.

Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 02:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Rubbish, he was never Y2K compatible.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Like the skinned lamb baby in Eraserhead!

Dr. Z Indahouse (AaronHz), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

x-post

Dr. Z Indahouse (AaronHz), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 03:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Um. Whatever? Perhaps.

But really, I'm very saddened by the prospects of a Church without Pope JPII at the helm. I am quite aware of the fact that JPII hasn't exactly had 100% control of the wheel that's steering the Church over the past couple of years or so, but I do think he still has SOME say over affairs and I think that's a huge reason why the Church hasn't transformed itself into an extremely rigid nightmare a la the "evangelical Christians". Anthony Easton waaaay upthread here is totally right about JPII -- he *was* (and still is, really) one of the most "liberal" popes the Church has had, rivalling Pope John XXIII for number of sweeping changes brought into the Church to make it a faith of and for "the people" and also fiercely defending the sanctity of the Virgin Mary in the face of blatantly anti-woman criticism, from Church higher-ups who cannot stand the thought of a woman being that highly regarded.

I fear for the Church with a new pope. I fear that even a few years with a radically different, more conservative pope will cause the Church to schism once more, causing the more liberal parishes and diocese to disconnect from the rest of the Church and its Roman base. If that happens, however, I will absolutely, unequivocally disconnect myself from the conservative parish I am currently a member of and join with a local "liberal" parish. I already cannot stand the boldly anti-abortion and anti-birth control stance of the parish I currently attend Masses at (it's a Project Rachel hub and displays anti-birth control literature in the front entrance) -- I would not be able to stand it if that sort of voice actually had complete control over the whole of the faith.

Surreal Addiction (Dee the Lurker), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 04:47 (twenty-one years ago)

If George Pell is the replacement I will go over there and shoot him myself.

Autumn Almanac (Autumn Almanac), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I can't help but like JPII for the role he played in the political movements in Poland during the 1980s. I think he doesn't seem like a terrible dude. I am against a lot of the Catholic church's policies but for the real culmination point he represented to the people stuck under a horrible system, some of my family members, I give him a lot of respect despite a lot of sht that goes on with that religious system.

There's my eugoogolie right there.

Allyzay Highlights The Fallacy of Radiohead (allyzay), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 04:54 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm wondering what name he's going to change to. Johns and Pauls are so 20th century.

Pope George Ringo I

Jarlr'mai (jarlrmai), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 09:08 (twenty-one years ago)

This is a camera trained on his hospital window, isn't it?
http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40786000/jpg/_40786809_hospitalap300.jpg

Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Y'all read "In God's Name" by David Yallop for some juicy pope stuff (and some interesting revelations about JPII turning his back on his reformist policies).

Markelby (Mark C), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:04 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't the Pope declare himself immortal last year? I remember reading something about that.

Drake Beardo (cprek), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

avril lavigne

dave q (listerine), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

I keep reading this thread title as "How long is it necessary for the pope to live?"

How long does this guy hafta live, already?!

Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 17:09 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm already going to hell, so I might as well enjoy the trip...

http://ox.eicat.ca/~scarruthers/ilx/pope-dan.jpg

j.lu (j.lu), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 17:50 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wellcoolstuff.com/Merchant2/graphics/00000001/pink28.jpg

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, I have decided to cross over to the dark side.

http://www.beepworld2.de/memberdateien/members16/dieasozialenparasiten/satan_tubbie_3.jpg

Michael White (Hereward), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

How old is this guy anyhow?

Thermo Thinwall (Thermo Thinwall), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Vatican claims he's stabilized.

Aside from the fucked-up views on sex and gender, the Church's social policies aren't bad.

Dr Morbius (Dr Morbius), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

yeah, but sex and gender and -- gasp -- birth control are deal-breakers for me.

Pears can just fuck right off. (kenan), Wednesday, 2 February 2005 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...
He's back in hospital

Madchen (Madchen), Thursday, 24 February 2005 14:48 (twenty-one years ago)

eight months pass...
I just found this thread on the random function.

So did the pope pull through?

Ronan (Ronan), Saturday, 29 October 2005 22:22 (twenty years ago)

As my dad used to say: he was at death's door, but the doctors pulled him through.

Aimless (Aimless), Saturday, 29 October 2005 22:52 (twenty years ago)

Keep this thread handy. It'll probably need to be revived for reals within a few years.

Pleasant Plains /// (Pleasant Plains ///), Sunday, 30 October 2005 05:11 (twenty years ago)

god willing

j blount (papa la bas), Sunday, 30 October 2005 05:40 (twenty years ago)

seven years pass...

http://i.imgur.com/Feqsr.png

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:35 (thirteen years ago)

the pope's advice is so...obvious. shit, i can do that

dexpresso (Z S), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:51 (thirteen years ago)

why are they doing this

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:52 (thirteen years ago)

didn't realize it was "@Pontifex" hahaha

before and after broscience (goole), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:52 (thirteen years ago)

ikr when i saw it i thought it was a parody

Nilmar Honorato da Silva, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:53 (thirteen years ago)

hey, i'm the pope:

The Lord knows all. Trust in Him and honor Him with your actions. He will always be there for you.
424,208 retweets
5,240 favorites

dexpresso (Z S), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:53 (thirteen years ago)

wait, why didn't the pope capitalize His and He

?????

dexpresso (Z S), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:54 (thirteen years ago)

shit, i can outpope this pope any day of the week

dexpresso (Z S), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 22:54 (thirteen years ago)

the pope's advice is so...obvious

that's why he's the papa (yes, it really means 'daddy')

Aimless, Wednesday, 12 December 2012 23:55 (thirteen years ago)

you'd think they'd be in multiple languages too

GAY HIPSTER BATMAN ON HIS WAY TO A CIRCUIT PARTY (donna rouge), Wednesday, 12 December 2012 23:57 (thirteen years ago)

doesnt harry kill the pontifex in book 5

first u get the flower, then u get the honey, then u get the stamen (darraghmac), Thursday, 13 December 2012 00:01 (thirteen years ago)

How long does the pope have to live
Before you can call him a pope?

a Christmas .gif for you from (seandalai), Thursday, 13 December 2012 01:35 (thirteen years ago)

Andreas Prasadja ‏@prasadja

@Pontifex merry Christmas Your Holiness

things that are jokes pretty much (Nilmar Honorato da Silva), Tuesday, 25 December 2012 01:31 (thirteen years ago)

2h Benedict XVI Benedict XVI ‏@Pontifex

The cribs that we built in our home gave me much pleasure. We added figures each year and used moss for decoration.

why did he decorate his home with mossy cribs? what a weirdo.

the horse world of the bludgrass (unregistered), Tuesday, 25 December 2012 01:34 (thirteen years ago)


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