Baseball

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Anthony don't get Cricket, I am baffled by baseball. Its like softball that goes on forever, and yet only a few people per side get to bat - and I know I am missing the beautiful simplicity of the gme - but how is it played. And can you draw?

― Pete, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

you swing the bats at dogs that run ou tinto the feild and if you scream its one demerit

― Pennysong Hanle y, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

baseball = rounders played by men in tight pajamas, with names like Chipper Jones and Dizzy Izzy

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

4 bases, 90 feet apart, in shape of diamond. 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and home.

the batter picks up his mobster paraphernalia and waggles it menacingly in the air while the pitcher (i.e. bowler) stands stock still on a little raised hill ("the mound"), staring in at him like a cougar, and finally torques himself into a compressed wad of legs and arms and unleashes the ball, at anywhere from 70-100 mph, in a variety of curvy styles. the batter flails and if he hits it had better RUN to 1st base. if he gets there before the ball does, and if no one catches it in the air, then he's "safe" and the next player on his team comes up to waggle his bat and hopefully move you along to 2nd, or 3rd, or home. the object is to make it around all the bases, by hook or by crook, and get back "home", which scores your team 1 point (called a "run"). if you hit the ball over the fence it's a "home run" and you can take all the time in the world leisurely trotting around the bases. if you make 3 outs, the other team gets to bat. after each team has had a chance to bat, you've played one "inning" - there are nine "innings" in a game unless yer tied, at which point they just keep playing, exhausting their regulars and tiring their pitchers' fragile arms.

the metaphors are all there: one man vs. an entire team, making his way out into the field, finding moments of safety, trying to get home. it's not surprising that so much was made of the return to playing baseball this past week in light of recent events. last friday at shea stadium seemed ripped straight from "damn yankees" - liza minelli singing "new york new york" during the seven inning stretch and mike piazza winning the game in the bottom of the ninth with a home run. the place went bananas.

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I'm flying out to new york ($135 round trip from san jose!) for games 1 and 2 of the div. series. Anyone else going?

― Kris, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

what's the tix sitch?

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

They just went on sale this morning; maybe they're still available?

― Kris, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

You're going to be in NY? You know you ain't comin' here without visiting the crew. We can convince Otis to come.

― ALly, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

How about swinging some of your corporate seats Ally?

― Tracer Hand, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Well, the $135 round trip wasn't obtained without some sacrifices. First of all it's a round trip to Providence. Arriving approx 8 am on Wednesday the 10th (the day of game 1), leaving 6 am on Friday the 12th (the morning after game 2). Basically, the only free time we'll have is after the game on the 10th and before the game on the 11th; so it might not be very convenient for anybody with a job. Which is why all the east coast peeps should go to the game. IF SOMEONE FROM NEW ENGLAND WITH A CAR (OTIS "FOUR" WHEELER MUST HAVE A CAR) WANTS TO GO TO GAME 2, AND CAN GET US TO PROVIDENCE BY 6 AM AFTER THE GAME, WE MAY HAVE SOME EXTRA TICKETS FOR YOU (I think my cousin bought like three extras, which he was eager to scalp for outrageous prices, but I could have a word with him about it). Now that I think about it, I drove Otis to the airport so he owes me a ride...

― Kris, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Fucking bastards, another cool-sounding NYC get-together that I can't attend. SCREW ALL Y'ALL.

― Ned Raggett, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kris, you better hope the Indians don't finish with a better record than the Yankees -- if they do your plans will change. Granted the Indians are 4 back now (haven't heard how the Yanks did tonight) but if the Yanks finish the regular season like they did last year. . .

― Jeff Wright, Saturday, 29 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Ned you can come to Kansas City for a little mud party wif me.

― Mike Hanle y, Saturday, 29 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Jeff,

Actually it won't matter...if the indians finish better than the yankees all it means is I'll be able to go to Yankee stadium without getting beer thrown at me. I'm certainly making no plans to go to Cleveland no matter what happens.

― Kris, Sunday, 30 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

The ride's yours, Kris, especially if there's a ticket in it for me. Ally, see if you can't get yourself tix for the 11th, and try to explain baseball to Ramon in the meantime.

― Otis Wheeler, Sunday, 30 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Kris, what I meant is right now, AL matchups are Seattle-Cleveland (Seattle home 1-2-5) and New York-Oakland (Yanks home 1-2-5). If the Indians finish with a better record than the Yankees, though, it becomes Seattle-New York (Sea home 1-2-5, NY home 3-4) and Cleveland- Oakland (Cleveland home 1-2-5). My point was that in the second scenario, the Yankees' home dates change and you (a) miss the A's and (b) miss everything in NY (unless you change your travel plans).

Yanks have the tie-breaker over the Indians so Indians must pass them to get home field in division series.

― Jeff Wright, Sunday, 30 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Whoa Jeff, I forgot that a NY-Cleveland series wouldn't have the same schedule. That would really suck! Means we'd get to hang out in New York for a couple days though, which wouldn't be so bad. Plus we'd get to sell all the tickets, so the whole trip would basically be free. Still, go Yankees (saying that turns my stomach). They're still what, 3.5 games ahead of Cleveland?

― Kris, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Oh yeah, now I see what you mean...if Cleveland finishes ahead of the Yankees, then they won't be home at all while I'm there. Everything I said above still applies though (I'll still get back here in time to catch the A's home games, they're the wild card road team either way). Anyway, FUCKING GO YANKEES!

― Kris, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

I like the Yankees, but how many damn consecutive World Series can they win?

So I'm saying ... GO PHILLIES!

― Tadeusz Suchodolski, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Damn, I can't go on the 11th (and, Wheeler, you SAW how successful my attempts to explain baseball to Ramon were, almost as successful as my attempts to explain football), that's a work day and I'm thinking of taking off Friday this week since Miss Bitchy is gone away on vacation so we will have the house all to ourselves for three whole days. Do you want to take Miss Bitchy to the game? Please?

But dude, it's not like getting to Providence by 6am is hard, we should all go for one drink.

Oh, and Tracer, can you stop asking me for my corporate seats? I barely ever pull Jamie for his seats to begin with for myself, much less for you. Maybe for Otis, to thank him for the whole Orient Point thing. But he's already got a ticket.

― Ally, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

But I was counting on you!

― Tracer Hand, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

Stephanie may have been fairly bearable this past weekend, in relative terms, but I ain't going to any baseball games with her. She doesn't need to be babysat 7 days a week. Let Kris' cousin scalp one or two of the tickets (it'd still be cool if Ramon could come).

― Otis Wheeler, Monday, 1 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)

two years pass...

The "Why Do Americans Watch Baseball" thread has completely disappeared, for reasons I can only speculate on. Was offense taken? A slip of the finger on someone's part?

Anyway. As we speak, the Yankees are leading in game three, the Cubs game starts at 6:30, Matt Clement has the stupidest looking facial hair ever, and we were talking about how a Cubs-Sox series would be good for the entire sport.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 21:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan, check the "Moderators" thread. I'm seriously PISSED the FUCK OFF about that cocksucker Mr. Noodles.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 11 October 2003 21:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, wow. Well calm down, Diamond, it was bad judgement on his part, but doesn't warrant a beating.

*sigh*

Baseball is so soothing, no?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Kenan, what are you doing tonight? I can't find anyone to watch the Cubs game with me!

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm watching the Cubs game, of course. You need company?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Your place or mine?

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Eh, I feel like leaving my house. Mind if I come over? I'll bring beer!

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, yeah. Come on by. You remember the place, right? First house on the north side of Berwyn, basement. I'm going to get cigs real quick, but I'll be back in five minutes.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome -- I'll be there soon.

― jaymc (jaymc), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:20 (twenty-two years ago)

TS: Pedro Martinez v. Don Zimmer

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:33 (twenty-two years ago)

That was just fucked up.

― Tep (ktepi), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:47 (twenty-two years ago)

It was more than fucked up. The Red Sox looked like a bunch of fucking bullies and crybabies. I'm sorry, Manny, but Clemens' pitch wasn't near your head, stop being so melodramatic. And Pedro throwing a 72 year-old man? Cowardly.

I really hate saying all that because I wanted the Red Sox to beat the Yankees, but now I'm not so sure.

― hstencil, Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

What was Pedro supposed to do? Zimmer ran at him - tossing the dude to the ground is better than wailing on him.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:52 (twenty-two years ago)

whatever. If Pedro honestly thought Don Zimmer was gonna touch him, well then he's a fucking idiot. Also, gesturing to Garcia that he'll hit him in the head is ridiculous.

― hstencil, Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I disagree on both counts. If you're in the middle of a brawl and someone's running at you, the assumption is that they want to fight - and it looked to me like Zimmer wanted to.

I'm all for pitchers being enforcers - and it's not like Clemens wasn't playing too.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:59 (twenty-two years ago)

pitching at someone's head and then gesturing afterwards that you'll hit said head is not enforcing - it's fucking bullying. I hate it just as much as when Clemens does that shit. But it's clear if you look at the pitch that started the brawl that he wasn't going after Manny - the pitch was over the plate, just high. Grady Little admitted as much in the post-game press conference.

I really don't see how ANYONE could consider a trotting Don Zimmer a threat.

― hstencil, Saturday, 11 October 2003 23:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Man, I'm gonna love watching all the Baahston jokers try to defend their golden boy Pedro now. He's a piece of trash. I've never liked him; I felt this way long before today. He ain't no freakin' god. He ain't "old school." He's a coward. The arrogant bastard pretends to not know English so he doesn't have to talk to anybody. Then after falling behind 4-2 and after attacking a 72 year old man, he sits in the dugout with his fellow Dominican prima donnas Manny and Ortiz yukking it up.

God I hate the Red Sox. Only this team and it's annoying fans and their love for their precious "Pedro" could actually make me ROOT FOR the Yankees. I totally knew Clemens would come up huge today. In fact, I told my buddy last night at the bar that I predicted a 3-2 Yankees win. Pedro's good for giving up at least three in an important game, I thought. I was right about golden boy Pedro.

― Mr. Diamond (diamond), Saturday, 11 October 2003 23:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Wait, he attacked Zimmer? How does that go, he made the guy run at him?

(I think Pedro became my new Favo-rite Player tonight.)

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Saturday, 11 October 2003 23:18 (twenty-two years ago)

What happened with the 9th inning ruckus in the Yankee bullpen? It looked like some Bosox fans had jumped the fence to go after someone, but the Fox announcers said a Fenway groundskeeper took it upon himself to attack some Yankee players. Like, whoah.

― Benjamin (benjamin), Sunday, 12 October 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Other way around, according to ESPN -- apparently one of the relievers attacked a Fenway employee for waving a rally flag in the Yankees bullpen.

― Tep (ktepi), Sunday, 12 October 2003 02:02 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh. My. God.

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 02:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Does Alex Gonzalez have to commit ritual seppuku now?

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 02:13 (twenty-two years ago)

Quote from the news just now from man-on-the-street in the Bronx:

"If I punched Don Zimmer, wouldn't I be in jail right now? Wouldn't I?" *looks dead into camera*

― Ally-zay, Wednesday, 15 October 2003 02:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally I know your stance but the only guy who threw a punch in that entire confabulation of lameness was Don. Fucking. Zimmer.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 15 October 2003 16:13 (twenty-two years ago)

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