[how to live] when you're too sensitive

again, more later.

i'd just like to find a button so that i can turn my sensitivity meter off sometimes! but it does come in handy when you can also pick up negative feelings directed towards other people, like a whos-hating-who in the room type of thing, even though in the end all that gets draining too. if i'm around others too long i'm like a sponge and need to be wringed free of all these impresions i get all the time, which is why i am much happier living alone now. i should get offline and just develop keep a lot of plants and develop deep relationships with them, since if you water them regularly i think they never change their minds about you.

My personal answer would be to be to become more self-involved. That is probably not good advice.

oh i dont know know if its so much caring what others think, as feeling what they feel, without wanting to, as if by osmosis. yeah i can not pay as much attention to the feelings, but getting them is still annoying. developing self-absorbed walls takes years, and i guess you lose something when u succeed in that anyway, but it can be one solution. i think another here would be to loose one's self in one's career or family, etc and shut most of the rest of the world out (even if that doesn't apply to me). or just keeping an ever-increasing distance from the world, which fits my other spiritual intentions nicely. (note to self: i need to go on hiatus again!)

(*good thoughts for the Vic*)

this is the most beautiful thing i've read all day.

To perhaps think of a benefit of being sponge-like sometimes [:::thinks hard::: - think, don't feel!], well, to feel others' emotions very strongly can sometimes make you forget your own. And if you are around someone/thing really positive or inspiring (like i'd imagine a saint to be, despite knowing how unlikely that is), then it must feel incredibly good. Even though i know that is rare, such associations must be the most serene method of self-negation.

i know this feeling vic, but a lot of the time these things pass and you end up having a great time again with those people you thought might dislike you. the best thing is just to ignore it and see what happens over time. not at all easy though. hence the need for a huge music collection to dissapear into in times when i'm thinking like that.

as for the e-world, or at least ilx, when i joined here i was too sensitive and tried to hard, and consequently pissed a few people off, and then i left in a strop like a girl, but then i came back pretty soon cos i had a lot of free time on my hands. and by that point i didn't really care, and i can't really sense what people here think of me now, mostly indifferent i guess, i have no ilx friends as such and doubt i ever will. i really think the internet is too impersonal to get a proper sense of this - so much is said by tone of voice/body language that is missing from here. ilx is a really great forum to share opinions and have a joke on occassionaly, but i don't go to ilx or anywhere else on the e-world for warmth these days, i've learnt from my mistakes in this regard.

on a personal note, you seem perfectly alright to me, so really don't worry.

this was meant with some sarcasm, but reading it back it sounds slightly misogynist, so apologies. again, tone of voice really does not come across well online.