this is the thread where u chat with me as if i've been your very good friend for years

Hey, how are the hemerrhoids treating you?

Yo, Bill, you ever get that boil lanced? Oh, and about that money I kinda owe you...

Hey what's up motherfucker?
*10 minute silence*
Pass that shit over here.
*5 minute silence*
I gotta go. Later.

Hey bud, I was going to say something about the Bogota incident, but that's probably not a good idea on a public forum.

Hey Bill, remember how you had that crazy crush on Jim Carrey?

No?

Well, then, remember how you were telling me about that boy who was trying to get into your pants, that really annoying one who ended up stalking you?

No?

Well, then, could you tell me one of your ex-husband stories?

No?

Well, then, you want to see this really hot picture of [insert cute male celeb]?

No?

Remember how you almost hyperventilated when you saw that new male coach back in high school?

No?

Remember when you made me promise you never to make the same mistakes in choosing guys that you had made?

No?

Remember that time when you applied makeup to my face properly because my mom hardly ever wears any and certainly never showed me how to put on makeup?

No?

Do you have amnesia? You want me to call an ambulance?

you homophobe!!

Mmmm hmmm, trife. You keep on convincing yourself of that.

*pats trife's head*

btw, my whole post was meant to be a joke. I was simply relating things specific to certain longtime friendships of mine, friendships that originated back in high school. Ergo, pretty much every single one of these things I mentioned were inspired by high-school era events.

Ha ha, funny, you know?

*conks out for the night on chair in front of computer*

dee you are clearly superior to me in recognizing obvious jokes!!

*waking up temporarily*

*wearily pats trife on the head again*

Thanks for the Night of Sarcasm. Many, many, MANY thanks.

*drifts away from the computer and toward bed*

Hi! Will! Old WIllie "No Wonka" - how'ya doin?

Listen mate, I gotta tell you this. Rememeber Ally and Freddy and Sammy? Well, we was crusin' round Old Timmys 'bout a week ago, when we found that old tape from '94 - you played bass on it, remember? Well, my guitaring's improved with age, but your lines still sounds as shit as ever! We gotta catch up sometime - whats your mobile?

Sorry? Your not Willie "No Wonka"? Not old Concave-Cock?

Ah, sorry mate, thought you were someone else.

(several seconds of silence)

Well, be seein' ya.

[i]Exit Johnney B[/i]

it's so great to hear news about u, guys. Chris, nice to hear from u, how is ur wife ? Hope she forbid u our "affair" together ... Dada, still so good-looking ! Skottie, if u only give me back the quarter of all the money u owe me, i'd be a rich man ...
well let's stop kidding, and prove me you still deserve my friendship ! Who there would agree to save his life for me ?

Yeah, well, I don't know about that. I mean, in a way, when you uh...sorta lent me that money, it was really selfish of you. Now I've had that hanging over me all this time, and it's really...well it's basically ruined my life. I almost think you sorta knew that in the first place, yeah, it's like, that's why you kinda lent me that money. You haven't changed. You're just as selfish as ever. You know, I'm glad you transfered over to purchasing. I'm finally getting it together on my own now. Sorta.