things your parents have told you that you really didnt need to know

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

the story of my mom getting a vibrator superglued to her hand

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 6 October 2003 13:46 (twenty-two years ago)

also, "i can't walk today"

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 6 October 2003 13:53 (twenty-two years ago)

That '_____' hasn't affected their sex lives!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 6 October 2003 13:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Me to my mom about three weeks ago: "I'm having a hardcore acne outbreak out of nowhere...what can I do about it?"

Her response: "Have sex. Well, that's what your father would recommend...actually he recommends that for everything, acne, nervousness, headaches..."

She listed a couple other things but it was all drowned out by the sound of my brain puking it's brains out.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 6 October 2003 14:10 (twenty-two years ago)

"You know, the thing that I always hated was when the end of the joint went all soggy..."

Eww. Thanks Mum.

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 6 October 2003 16:34 (twenty-two years ago)

My father isn't circumsized.

PARDON ME WHILE I GO SCOOP OUT MY BRAIN. THANKS MOM.

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 6 October 2003 16:53 (twenty-two years ago)

smegma

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 6 October 2003 18:27 (twenty-two years ago)

you're jealous.

― RJG (RJG), Monday, 6 October 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

the story of my mom getting a vibrator superglued to her hand

Gabbo, at least, your mum didn't say, "Dad always knew ways to make me scream."

I could have lived without knowing that, Mum.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Monday, 6 October 2003 20:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Well, how did she get a vibrator superglued to her hand?

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 6 October 2003 20:38 (twenty-two years ago)

(guess: with superglue?)

― t\'\'t (t\'\'t), Monday, 6 October 2003 20:43 (twenty-two years ago)

This is where step-parents, who generally view you as an adult, come into their own.

My mum's boyfriend informs me my mother likes it doggy style.

My step-mother tells me my father has a small penis.

OH DEAR GOD.

(Also- Mark C to thread.)

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 6 October 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(answer: she broke the vibrator and attempted to glue it back together. i neglected to tell her how horrible that would be for her body, but i figure any diseases she picks up because of it are natures little revenge for me knowing ANY of this.)

― gabbo giftington (dubplatestyle), Monday, 6 October 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Jess I have never mentioned the above to anybody until now, it was just too traumatic. I'm not sure if I feel better knowing it happens to everybody, or if I'd have rather kept it locked in a Pandora's box of the mind.

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

That is, should I thank you for starting this thread or not?

― Anna (Anna), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Ian McEwan to thead!

― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:02 (twenty-two years ago)

my mum told me she had an anal fissure and started describing it, hearing any sex stuff is worse though

― cuspidorian (cuspidorian), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:05 (twenty-two years ago)

(xp)
Wow. I am so glad my parents are so reserved. I didn't find out until college that my mom was pregnant when they got married.

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Jesus to thread!

― Leee (Leee), Monday, 6 October 2003 21:46 (twenty-two years ago)

I found a cache of joints in my mother's bathroom once.

― Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 6 October 2003 22:02 (twenty-two years ago)

How did she break the vibrator?

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 6 October 2003 22:03 (twenty-two years ago)

What kind of person rolls a bunch of joints to store for later use?

― oops (Oops), Monday, 6 October 2003 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh, and Mark C to thread!

(Not that he's actually told me anything, but I'd be amazed if he didn't have something to contribute...)

― Matt DC (Matt DC), Monday, 6 October 2003 22:04 (twenty-two years ago)

four years pass...

My parents kept amazingly mum about embarrassing stuff. Thank you, mom and dad.

― Aimless, Saturday, 3 May 2008 21:32 (eighteen years ago)

My father isn't circumsized.

PARDON ME WHILE I GO SCOOP OUT MY BRAIN. THANKS MOM.

-- luna (luna.c), Monday, October 6, 2003 5:53 PM (4 years ago)

― DG, Saturday, 3 May 2008 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

not circumcised vs not existing

― DG, Saturday, 3 May 2008 21:34 (eighteen years ago)

do you think she really scooped out her brain or was she lying about that too

― max, Saturday, 3 May 2008 21:36 (eighteen years ago)

Her non-existent brain. Hmm.

― stevienixed, Saturday, 3 May 2008 21:38 (eighteen years ago)

looking back now i think jess deserved to get a lot more lol-oedipus joeks than innocent lil high school kid ian riese-moraine

― and what, Saturday, 3 May 2008 22:10 (eighteen years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.