Having a crush on someone for an extended period of time but never having the guts to say anything - c or d?

Classic because it's quite an interesting, safe state to revel in.

Dud because they'll probably say no if you ever ask them because after all that time you'll make a pig's ear of it and also dud because it indicates that you are a thinker and a dreamer and not a doer and as a result your youth will always be a bit crappy and you'll end up looking back and think 'hmm - that was a bit rubbish'.

Dud because they'll probably say no if you ever ask them because after all that time you'll make a pig's ear of it and also dud because it indicates that you are a thinker and a dreamer and not a doer and as a result your youth will always be a bit crappy and you'll end up looking back and think 'hmm - that was a bit rubbish'.

Hah! My life in a nutshell!

Person one: five years, at a stupid age, longing. Eventual answer = "No" (as delivered to proxy asker-outer; "He's a pervert"; what is a pervert age 15?)

Person two: two years longing. Eventual answer = "No" (different proxy asker; no reason given)

Person three: two years longing. Eventual answer = "No" ("Not even if you hadn't been so drunk")

Person four: two years longing. Eventual answer = there wasn't one, I didn't bother to ask. She was twenty years older than me, and married. But I still think I would have had a good chance.

Person five: three years wanting. Initial answer = "No". But there was cause to believe it wasn't as simple as that. Two more years longing. Final answer = she disappeared.

So, classic. I have not given up on any of these.

Remember the Darwin Cheer:

Sperm and egg! Sperm and egg!
Ram 'em! Cram 'em! Let 'em mate!

http://www.unitedmedia.com/comics/peanuts/meet_the_gang/images/meet_charlie_brown_big.gif

Well obv. this is a tremendously good sign. Thank your lucky stars you don't instead start falling in love with her paininthearseness.

ok, seriously, how do you STOP having a crush on someone if you'd just prefer to move on?

Hypnotherapy?

how do you stop having a crush on a person you emphatically DO NOT want to have a crush on?

Fuck you guys.

No guarantees about the direction in which this humanization occurs, but no matter how it occurs, you won't have a crush any more. Either you'll develop a realistic relationship, or you'll suffer revulsion. Hurrah! No more crush.

Five years. And dud X 10. Especially dud if one drunkenly confesses said crush and the object of affection decides that they do not want to be one's friend anymore.

Sadly, humanizing is only possible when the person in question is not screening your calls.

Unless, like, you enjoy the angst of it all. Which I generally do. And you know what? The crushes that went on the longest were actually the ones that *were* returned. And, sort of five years later, the bloke in question would say something like "Dammit, I thought you were hot, why'd you never say anything?" or, erm, "You were hot but I thought you were a psycho or something. You just had a CRUSH on me?"

Jason Pierce to thread!

Oh, and it's gotta be both; really it's a question like 'breathing - c/d' or 'drinking water - c/d'. Isn't it?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am just playing, BTW!

Ah! Yes. When I was a lurker I think I saw something along those lines; but if you were presumably you'd be having money burnt on you, not ILXing.

next time a pretty girl i know IRL appears in the sylvan mists of surrealism and brutal psychology that is a dream of mine, i shall attempt to put grimly's advice into effect.

how the fuck is it only 2:45 in the afternoon here

LJ out. jol to get poppage.

aim uglier next time, it works eventually.

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41ZKX8WDEGL._SS500_.jpg

Louis you should totally buy this book, it's both an awesome piece of literature written by a one of the most empathetic authors living and a fantastic piece of advice that will pay off immediately.

oh man the goldmine of classic posts to be uncovered in lj's application of 'the game'

that book has already provoked one insanely long thread, but fuck it, why not two.

I already know about 'The Game'. Who do you think I am, some pig-ignorant shut-in who has no idea about current cultural trends? (Don't answer that one.)

Such books, especially those teaching the secrets of salesmanship, are totally and utterly soulless, and I refuse to touch them with a bargepole.

but pretty girls are soulless, dude. you're gonna end up popping mingers

Louis I, and i imagine at least twenty other ILXors, will paypal you £10 if you spend one month applying all of Strauss's techniques to the women on your course.

Day 1: Buy gold watch
Day 5: Employ permanent wingman, who must be short and ugly but quite funny
Day 8: Nose job
Day 13: Start turning nice girls down; who wants them?
Day 24: Rohypnol

you should have written in the letter that you wanted to kiss her "sweet wet cunt"

seemed to work for robbie

haha! the thought actually crossed my mind. but...nah.

it has to be a parapraxis, see. can't be sending those off on purpose.

that only matters to lit critics, not girls you want to bone

but it's time to move on. are there any cousins visiting?

sorry it didn't work out, louis. but there will be other girls.
i am not sure these first move letters ever work for anyone. i can't think of a single instance when they have helped. girls read them aloud to each other and either die from laughter or say sadly, 'he's really nice but....'
don't ever send one again. i say this as friend, not foe.

oh man the goldmine of classic posts to be uncovered in lj's application of 'the game'

-- deej, Monday, October 22, 2007 5:45 PM (2 hours ago) Bookmark Link

oh man

also estela is right, basically you have to make friends w/ girls & let them think they're seducing you

well ok, she's not a poncy literature student who'd take the outburst as a pure expression of passionate lust rather than a vulgar turn-off.

xpost

cousins? nah. plenty more gravel in the driveway.

xpost

cheers estela! i honestly think my letter wasn't that laughable, but 'tis true i could (yet again) have come across as 'sweet' rather than sexy. 'sweet' is generally code for 'not in a million years'. no, i will not send one again. tete-a-tete from now on.

ethan, i've played the ultra-long game before, but the downside is, i'm really bad at knowing when to make a decisive move.

(getting there, though! my main problem is the continual obsession with finding the right girl. today's incident isn't one i'll regret, because i've at least shown myself not to be compromising. PLUS, i know to avoid sending love-letters.)

its not the ultra-long game, im just saying spend a couple nights playing board games or some shit before you bust out the sonnets

ya second-move letters work wonders

also estela is right, basically you have to make friends w/ girls & let them think they're seducing you

-- and what, Tuesday, October 23, 2007 12:00 AM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

so very very OTM. I don't think I've made the first move in literally years, and believe me, it's better for everybody involved. do be prepared to go for long periods without sex tho.

if you spend like two weeks drinking & chilling out every couple days & she still doesnt want the dick shes never gonna

so you either move on or stay 'just friends' either way you dont end up looking like some poncey tard w/ a lonely hard-on

have you stopped to think that if you find the right girl now you'll miss out on all the wrong girls.

yeah, ethan is right to a degree, but i do think (in this culture at least) it's generally best to at least ask the girl to dinner. this i've done successfully a few times. it's the next bit that i find tricky. maybe board games really are the answer; been getting back into chess recently...

so you either move on or stay 'just friends' either way you dont end up looking like some poncey tard w/ a lonely hard-on

again, this has been the case in previous times. i'm prepared to be far more proactive and decisive nowadays, hence why i acted on this one. didn't act in the right way, but you live and learn.

have you stopped to think that if you find the right girl now you'll miss out on all the wrong girls.

formal dinner with a ladies' drinking society this thursday, i'm prepared for all sorts of wrong. :D

(in this culture at least)

http://www.ozebook.com/copeland.jpg

one offer's one's horse to the lady, and one walks tenderly beside, picking dandelions and braiding them into a wreath for her hair.

have you stopped to think that if you find the right girl now you'll miss out on all the wrong girls.

-- estela, Monday, October 22, 2007 7:12 PM (7 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

ha this is great

also estela is right, basically you have to make friends w/ girls & let them think they're seducing you

-- and what, Monday, October 22, 2007 7:00 PM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Link

this is so tru
they pretend u are supposed to make the first move, but youre supposed to make the first move the way they expect you to make the first move

xpost: dorothy parker-esque wisdom be droppin'

crushes mean very little in the grand scheme of things people get over it (them)

I want a determining condition a classifying restraint in my life.

my dumbass kind of fucked up a crush situation recently that i had the upper hand on initially, she was into me but ... i showed my cards a little too soon. but it happens, roll w/ the punches etc

i think the letter was a mistake

tbh i'm feeling pretty much over this one already, so it was a damn good thing i did something about it, regardless of whether the medium was an error (which it was).

i think letters work in fanciful theory and rarely if ever in actuality.

who writes a letter? send a text

much better to sharpie a dick on her forehead whilst she slumbers

my dumbass kind of fucked up a crush situation recently that i had the upper hand on initially, she was into me but ... i showed my cards a little too soon. but it happens, roll w/ the punches etc

you gotta know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em bro.

xpost or "<your name> woz ere" on her ass amirite

true dat, gotta be discreet

like they say, discretion is the better part of modassty

Ah Louis, I went out and got hammered for you last night. Didn't pull, like.

girls read them aloud to each other and either die from laughter or say sadly, 'he's really nice but....'

or -- and i wish i could find a link to the story, 'cos this happened to some poor fucker a couple of years ago and was all over the UK news for a day or so, but i don't have time -- pass them on by e-mail until suddenly half the world's getting "heh, look what this dude sent to some lass he met at a party!" dropping into their inbox.

so yeh, good work on not e-mailing, louis! just in case ...

never put anything in writing, that's just some 'advice' from a 'concerned associate'.

kapeesh?

follow max r's advice: one phone for bros, one for hos.