This is the thread where you post HALF of of one of your most interesting anecdotes

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A friend of mine was holidaying in Miami and she met the actor J***y P***n at a club. He asked her over to his hotel for breakfast the next morning, and strolled out to meet her on the restaurant deck wearing these kind of silky swim shorts. So anyway, they sit down to eat, and he starts saying to her, "Everything I do, I do HARDCORE-drugs, sex, HARDCORE", and he's shifting nevrously under the table. So the he keeps asking her to feel his shorts, ranting on and on about the fabric and

― adaml (adaml), Thursday, 9 October 2003 23:45 (twenty-two years ago)

During my first year of university, there were two guys on our floor who had to share: John, a geeky, awkward guy who had bodily odour and never spoke to anyone, and Andy, a big, fat, loud rugby type. Anyway, hilairy ensured. The finest time was when Andy came back one night, drunk as a lord. He wanders down the corridor with a paper bin over his head and his shoes in his hand, goes into the kitchen

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 9 October 2003 23:56 (twenty-two years ago)

As it turned out, I happened to have a spare doorknob in my backpack at the time. When I walked in, he looked at me like I was some kind of demon.

― Douglas (Douglas), Friday, 10 October 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

So I'm afraid I had to turn down Billy Baldwin as I'm pretty mch in llveo wtih my boyfriend.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 01:46 (twenty-two years ago)

Ally's would be better if it were Ice-T.

Mine:

"You may as well skip the rest of your classes, too, the Secret Service are asking about you."

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 10 October 2003 01:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I had only two years' driving experience total under my belt when I decided I'd drive the full six-hour journey from my home to Dallas, where I'd go to my very first DD concert ever. The journey started out unadventurous enough; I made one stop at a convenience store in Austin to get some things to snack on along the way, because I was determined not to stop for anything until I reached Dallas. Little did I know that my poor, ancient vehicle would break down just outside Austin, in a small town called Georgetown. I was on the highway when it happened, and could only just manage to steer the vehicle onto the grassy shoulder so it wouldn't block the other vehicles racing past. I then managed to walk a half mile to where the nearest convenience store was

― Many Coloured Halo (Dee the Lurker), Friday, 10 October 2003 01:55 (twenty-two years ago)

We're at the New York Real Estate Board party, in the penthouse at the Hilton on...what, 57th st? 59th? Who the fuck noknw, but it is me and Michele and the dues. So me and Michele went to ask here the beathroom is and the dude points, right, this way. I go in there and there is no batheroom. There's hookers. CLICK goes the door look. He thinsk we are hookers and we are locked in the hhoooker room at hte Guiliani real estate board souiree!!! So then

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 01:58 (twenty-two years ago)

After pulling down every single potted plant on the ledge in the back of the bar, and stupidly a breaking a mirror, Turtle and I were ousted. While walking past the construction site, we had this terrific idea, involving detour signs, pylons and the major intersections of our fair city.

― Bruce Urquhart (Bruce Urquhart), Friday, 10 October 2003 02:22 (twenty-two years ago)

So Jus says to me, fucking fool, jyou always put one in the hole so no one hears the gun clicks but it was too late i am dragging out Man-ON from the bar to get away from the psycho HA when

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

...so there I am at
the beach at noontime all alone
with my pants off...

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 10 October 2003 03:25 (twenty-two years ago)

...so we were crammed into a Porsche that wasn't designed to fit that many people, traveling the wrong direction down an Indiana highway, and getting mooned by three guys in the pickup truck in front of us...

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Friday, 10 October 2003 03:34 (twenty-two years ago)

I woke up the next morning in the barracks thinking it must have been some horribly drunken hallucination and after sitting up in the bunk I noticed one of the stolen DVDs on the floor outside my wall locker. It must have fallen out of the bag while I was trying to stuff everything inside. I spent the rest of the day a nervous wreck but I suspect the shop was ultimately happy that the thieves hadn't taken any of their equipment.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 03:44 (twenty-two years ago)

So there they are, and Robin's kicking the toilet shouting "She's fucking me up, man! She's screwing with my head! I can't fucking take it!", and Batman's all nervously looking over his shoulder saying "Cool it, that bitch just isn't worth it".

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 10 October 2003 03:58 (twenty-two years ago)

...and he proceeded to walk over to my fridge, open it, and start eating raw eggs, shell and all, from the door.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 10 October 2003 06:51 (twenty-two years ago)

...and that's why I shoved Noel Gallagher to the ground on 5th Avenue.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:19 (twenty-two years ago)

you can't have 2 most interesting anecdotes, ally

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:42 (twenty-two years ago)

This is awful I want to hear the rest of the anecdotes!

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

I say "the deal was you could slap me FIVE as hard as you wanted! So - do you want me to hit your hand or do you want me to hit you in your fucking face?!" She doesn't answer.

This actually happened last weekend, Christ almighty!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Dyson it doesn't say "your most interesting anecdote" it says "one of your most interesting anecdotes" which implies that you can have several anecdotes in the top ten or something and can post as many of them as you like. If it said "post one and only one that is definitely the most interesting" that would be different.

And also, while we're on the subject, Dyson

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

memo to myself:
never fuck with tracer hand,
just slap tracer's hand

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Reagan usually does the driving. Stolen switch car. They leave it running ... on the curb. It look sparked from the distance. When they run they dump the vehicle and they vanish ... like a virgin on prom night. I mean they vanish, swishh...

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 10 October 2003 13:58 (twenty-two years ago)

"Fifty bucks? I'll jerk my own self off!" He said.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 10 October 2003 14:01 (twenty-two years ago)

BTW, Phil to thread to tell exactly half of the Shanghai train story.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 14:04 (twenty-two years ago)

no i believe the word "one" in the title implies just that - one anecdote my dear. it doesn't necessarily have to be the most interesting, but one of the better ones.

and sorry to dysappoint, but i'm not gonna play ball here. my best anecdotes are all too insane/illegal/disturbing. and if i were - i'd want to tell the whole thing.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 10 October 2003 14:11 (twenty-two years ago)

:( Disappointed.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 10 October 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh wait, I forgot I don't care.

― NA (Nick A.), Friday, 10 October 2003 15:45 (twenty-two years ago)

no i believe the word "one" in the title implies just that - one anecdote my dear. it doesn't necessarily have to be the most interesting, but one of the better ones.

Hey people, my rules are there to be broken.

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:00 (twenty-two years ago)

i think it means one anecdote per post

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

or rather one HALF-anecdote per post

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe Ally's posts are all pieces to half of one gigantic anecdote.

― bnw (bnw), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

It's like the Perils of Penelope.

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

or just another
wacky day in Allyland
(I would believe this)

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Izzy Stradlin!!!!

― jel -- (jel), Friday, 10 October 2003 16:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, Dyson, don't you have yourself to go fuck?

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 17:06 (twenty-two years ago)

oh no.
ally's being mean to me :(
it was rude of me to question you, ally. i'm sorry - please, regale us with more of your pointless strung-out ramblings.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I guess you finished fucking yourself? That was kind of quick. :/

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:32 (twenty-two years ago)

i'm easy to please. i'm sure you would know what that's like tho.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:38 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do I get the feeling this is dyson's most interesting anecdote?

― Tep (ktepi), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I wanna hear more about the Izzy Stradlin thing, to be honest.

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:47 (twenty-two years ago)

Less fight, more STORY

― Robert Mckee (adaml), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:48 (twenty-two years ago)

http://letterman.iscool.com/october/10-29b.jpg

HI!

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:49 (twenty-two years ago)

...flying over the hill the truck bounced a little, and for a moment our asses were airborne. I think that may have been when I lost my beer, but I'm not really sure about that. Anyway, at this point we were almost back into town, and we still had more than a hundred bottle rockets left. 5 minutes later we were launching bottle-rockets at the windows of vegan asshats, shitface landlords, and eventually just whoever was unfortunate enough to step into our drunken acid-drenched ganja-fueled Fourth of July.

x-post that was really obvious who that celeb was Nordic-dawg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not allowed to post any more stories though! (xpost thank you nickalicious)

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 18:55 (twenty-two years ago)

So not only was she pointing and laughing at my bare ass shining in the sun, she was calling other people over to look. I eventually did get free, and later, I let my cat barf on her bed.

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

ha ha also nabisco to thread!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:28 (twenty-two years ago)

They were all around us in a circle clapping along with the music. When we got done we went back out to have some of the punch or whatever it is Mormons have at their church dances and after deciding to call it a night and go home we noticed a bunch of people trying to imitate us all over the dancefloor.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

The drum major held up a piece of posterboard folded in half. He flipped it open, displaying the word "FOOF" in very large letters, and 300 some odd band members all screamed "YAY" back at him. The rest of the people in the stands just kind of looked at us funny. I thought, I can convince people to do ANYTHING.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 19:42 (twenty-two years ago)

The fire extinguisher was empty. I put it down in the middle of the hallway on the girl's side. I staggered past the elevators into the lobby and walked right out the front door. The duty RA was on the phone and barely even noticed me. This was about 7:25 in the morning, I think, because apparently at 7:30 or so somebody pulled the fire alarm thinking the extinguisher gas was smoke and they evacuated the entire dormitory. I got in the back of my car and slept it off, forgetting everything until 1:30 in the afternoon when my friend Neal called the house I was staying at and explained to me in no uncertain terms that I was a crazy ass motherfucker.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Note to ILE: My Batman story is TRUE.

― adaml (adaml), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:49 (twenty-two years ago)

N4th4n asked if he could borrow my sandals. I mean, how can you turn down a request like that? So N4t3-dawg goes walking into the coffee shops with my sandals on, and we're all laughing at his wearing-a-jacket-with-the-words-"hippy power"-scrawled-on-the-back, when this Camero comes blazing up blasting "Sweet Child O' Mine" and holy shit just when you thought it was safe to...

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:50 (twenty-two years ago)

So basically that's why you don't choose to do a tumbling leap over four crouching martial artists skulking in front of a cement staircase leading the the outside of the dojo.

― Ally's Dad if he posted to ILX (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:52 (twenty-two years ago)

(I was assuming all of the stories were true?)

(INcluding the Batman one, it made sense at the time I read it)

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:53 (twenty-two years ago)

If Phil doesn't tell us the Shanghai train story one day my soul will never go to puppy heaven when I die and my ghost will roam NYC following the smell of pork chops looking for his ass.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I went into Bosco's, suggested by another friend of ours from our Party of Darkness days, and looked around. I had 5-6 days of stubble and glasses on. A*** looked about the same except for the fact that he appeared to have lost 60 pounds and was dressed as a woman. He later informed me that there were actually quite a few transgendered individuals in the "furry" scene.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I say to Phil, "If you eat all of those pork chops, I'll buy your drinks tonight." He stares at the plate in abject horror for a few seconds but obviously the lure of free drinks is too much for him and he digs in. As he chews thoughtfully, he surveys the table and says, "So, did I ever tell you about this time I was on a train going from Hong Kong to Shanghai?" I shake my head as Andrew and Bryan ask him to go on. "Well, it's a funny story."

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

...and that's when the chuds came out.

x-post ah the anticipation to hear this damned story is so great now I can taste it like a plate full of pork chops!!!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 20:00 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm actually following the rules here but I'm just posting the end half of all my anecdotes instead of the beginning, since the beginnings never sound very auspicious and besides I hate to leave people hanging.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 20:02 (twenty-two years ago)

After I got D*** off the floor and upright by the tub, he vomited something dark red all over my arm and himself and the floor. I opened his eyes and his pupils didn't seem to be dilating properly. I told H**** to call 911.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 20:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I wanted to try and get around to the stairwell on the other side where I could make my way down safely. Dust and dew on the ledge were not really helping my chances of this and my grip was getting worse as seconds ticked by. I decided to aim for the second-floor patio on the way down, but I missed.

― TOMBOT, Friday, 10 October 2003 20:09 (twenty-two years ago)

...just as my strength is coming back and I finally start pushing myself up off the floor, the bathroom door come swinging open and this fuckface comes running in, totally oblivious to my presence on the floor, puking everywhere, including ALL OVER ME. So I step out into the hallway, pale as a ghost, barely able to stand on my own two feet, covered in puke that's not even mine, just as these motherfuckers are yelling 'HAPPY NEW YEAR!'.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 10 October 2003 20:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"We have to have a story," Dean says while he's smoking two cigarettes at once. Neily agrees immediately, staring down the street in total terror: we've just realized the owner of our company plus the CFO are walking straight down the street towards where we stood, stationed in front of the ambulance. "Tell them this is our new ride," I say, lighting a cigarette too. They both yell at me that this isn't funny, but I remind them that we don't actually need a story because

― Ally (mlescaut), Friday, 10 October 2003 20:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Here's a tedious tour anecdote :
So there we were, Saturday night, 5 in the morning, stranded. We couldn't get into Slovenia, couldn't get back into Croatia, the office at the border post wasn't open until Monday morning and we had to be in Switzerland by Sunday evening. Suddenly,

― udu wudu (udu wudu), Friday, 10 October 2003 21:20 (twenty-two years ago)

Izzy Stradlin + bicycle + Uxbridge Road

(actually this story is pretty mundane and is just a kind of over active imagination/mistaken identity thing)

― jel -- (jel), Saturday, 11 October 2003 09:37 (twenty-two years ago)

....so I walk out of the men's room of Mr.Big's in Hell's Kitchen and look at the clock on the wall. It's now about 3:35 am, and my "date" is in the corner being felt-up (and enjoying it) by one of the on-air anchorpersons of NY1. So, I go back to the bar and discuss state flags with Joan Jett.

― Alex in NYC (vassifer), Saturday, 11 October 2003 09:52 (twenty-two years ago)

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