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Why do sometimes girls dont enjoy their first sex? Does that mean it will contiue to be like that?

― hannah, Saturday, 11 October 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

There are any number of reasons for this, and most of them say nothing about enjoying it in the future. Some reasons might include discomfort or pain at the breaking of the hymen, nerves which might cause dryness, an inept partner.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Saturday, 11 October 2003 11:47 (twenty-two years ago)

i sometimes don't enjoy my 2000th or so sex

― gaz (gaz), Saturday, 11 October 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

actually thats not true. i always enjoy it now. but i hve a regular partner.
what i mean is first time with a new partner has been, in my experience, sometimes...not perfect. nice maybe. frustrating maybe. wow-ee, like in the movies...rarely.

― gaz (gaz), Saturday, 11 October 2003 12:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Why do sometimes girls dont enjoy their first sex?

http://www.macalester.edu/~asolli/pictures/Second%20Sex.jpg

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 11 October 2003 17:43 (twenty-two years ago)

hannah, i assume you are referring to the first time a girl experiences vaginal penetration, though i could be wrong. in any case, for some girls it hurts because they have a hymen. others may have vaginismus. my first three or four times were terrible and painful, but it got better.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Saturday, 11 October 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

those girls are probably havig pre-marital sex, and that is EVIL, so that it why

― Vic (Vic), Saturday, 11 October 2003 23:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Vic, is your keyboard still broken?

― adaml (adaml), Sunday, 12 October 2003 11:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I remember my first ever time not being painful at all, which I was surprised at. I guess maybe I felt ready and was ready. No mess, no blood, just right. My boyfriend then a few months later found out and asked why I didn't tell him it was my first. I suppose I was quite lucky that my first time wasn't painful like many other girls. I guess the first time new partners sleep with each other is exciting and might make them a little anxious as they're not sure what the other partner will do and what he/she likes. They don't know what to expect. They are taking a step into unknown grounds I guess.

― Lovester (Lovester), Sunday, 12 October 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

I will take you to new stratospheres of love. I will sex you wild.

I will also serve juice.

― Smoove B (kenan), Sunday, 12 October 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

My first time was not painful, no blood either. However it wasn't pleasurable either. I remember thinking, "that's it? eh."

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 12 October 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I will then lavish kisses upon your body. Slow and passionate kisses that will seem to last forever and penetrate you deep within your skin. All the while, I will whisper various things. "Girl, you are fine," I will say. "Woman, I want you to ride me."

Then, I will stick it in you in the most romantic manner possible. And even though we will make love the whole night through, you will scream for more.

― Smoove B (kenan), Sunday, 12 October 2003 17:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Smoove. . .you one fine muthafucka!

― A Girl Named Sam (thatgirl), Sunday, 12 October 2003 17:58 (twenty-two years ago)

i think this whole thread should be filled w/ smoove-like posts

― Vic (Vic), Sunday, 12 October 2003 18:11 (twenty-two years ago)

There will also be grapes, the finest grapes available at the Costco that day.

All for you, girl.

― Smoove B (Kingfish), Sunday, 12 October 2003 19:04 (twenty-two years ago)

My first time was brilliant. Nothing could ever compare to that ... I loved the boy so much, I hate him so much for not being able to love me back.

― ., Monday, 13 October 2003 04:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I think that the first time you are just so super-aware of everything going on. I mean, it's something you've heard about and thought about for years, right? So, when you're finally at it, you're too busy thinking, "I'm finally doing it!" and "Isn't this crazy!" that you can't completely relax and give into it. I don't know. My first time wasn't bad, but it definitely got better.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Monday, 13 October 2003 13:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Then, I will stick it in you in the most romantic manner possible.

= POST OF THE YEAR!

― Matt (Matt), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Yeah, I generally enjoy Onion reposts more than actual posts on this board too.

― Ally (mlescaut), Monday, 13 October 2003 15:15 (twenty-two years ago)

two weeks pass...

Yes, he's rubbish, isn't he? "Being Ridden" is just unforgivable.

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:23 (twenty-two years ago)

howz about "Gettin' Freaky in da Butt"?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:49 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm not your brother.
I'll do your sister.

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 31 October 2003 22:50 (twenty-two years ago)

...and make her think you love her?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 1 November 2003 00:00 (twenty-two years ago)

that's nothing compared to Maryland Mansions, dawgs--it's REALLY bad

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 1 November 2003 03:01 (twenty-two years ago)

i think i'm the only one who didn't hate tall dark and handcuffed

― mark p (Mark P), Saturday, 1 November 2003 04:12 (twenty-two years ago)

probably

― keith (keithmcl), Sunday, 2 November 2003 00:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Last night at dinner with two friends who are getting married soon, the engaged couple said, sort of out of the blue, that they weren't people who needed sex that often. Once a day was fairly extreme (even as a goal) to them. Except maybe on vacation when there was nothing else to do. I found it (1) kind of sad, because the frequency will only decrease after the wedding and (2) more info than I neede to go with the ravioli.

― Skottie, Monday, 3 November 2003 07:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Usually in that situation at least one person is not telling the truth!

― rob geary (rgeary), Monday, 3 November 2003 07:09 (twenty-two years ago)

OTM

― Skottie, Monday, 3 November 2003 07:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Once a day is infrequent? Fuck.

― Mark C (Mark C), Monday, 3 November 2003 14:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Once a day is above average - I think the average couple fuck something like four times a week, but there is a wide range, and this doesn't seem implausible to me. As for frequency decreasing after marriage, I was married for a long time and this never happened.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 3 November 2003 19:26 (twenty-two years ago)

Twice a week is average, and it supposedly lasts 3 minutes a time.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 19:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Which always used to make me feel fucking great! But not now I'm single.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 19:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I've always heard that 2-4 times a week average thing too. I'm not suggesting that every day is average, rather noting with interest that they thought doing it every day was an indication of an unnaturally strong libido. It might be ambitious, but I wouldn't think it was crazy, esp. for newlyweds. But anyway...

― Skottie, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 00:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Somehow, I'd have thought newlyweds would have sex more often than 2-4 times/week.

My optimism speaking again.....

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 00:52 (twenty-two years ago)

What about newlyweds who've been together for years already?

I thought I was always frisky, but you perverts put me to shame.

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:24 (twenty-two years ago)

Does marriage really make a difference to a couple's sex life if they have been together for a while?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:28 (twenty-two years ago)

can do

― stevem (blueski), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:36 (twenty-two years ago)

Did i miss the part in the marriage ceremony that says 'and you will cease to have sex.'

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Apparently you missed the bit about "and although you have seen your partner scartching his balls and eating his toenails, you will magically want to have sex with him ten times as much thanks to this magic ring on your finger".

― Mark C (Mark C), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:49 (twenty-two years ago)

No seriously though, I don't think me getting married would affect it either way. I don't think we'd suddenly stop, nor do i think we'd turn into rabbits.

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:57 (twenty-two years ago)

uh from my experience newlyweds DO NOT do it 2-4 times a week. Maybe on the honeymoon but after that its more like 2-4 times a month.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

*falls off chair*

But what was it before marriage though?

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:00 (twenty-two years ago)

well lets see we've been together 7 years and got married last year. the first two years were good. 4 times a week maybe, then it gradually dropped off over time.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

HI DERE

― Amazing Randy, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:28 (twenty-two years ago)

Doesn't this have more to do with age and lifestyle than marital status? I'm over 30, and what with my job and all, I'd be half dead if I tried to do it more than 2-4 times a week!

― kate (kate), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 13:32 (twenty-two years ago)

When I'd been with my wife for 23 years, married for 20, both in our 40s, both working full time, we were still having sex more often than that every week.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:19 (twenty-two years ago)

thats because your a sexual dynamo martin ;)

― Chris V. (Chris V), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

or your affliation with Alan Moore has granted you STRANGE FUNK POWERS!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 19:37 (twenty-two years ago)

My friendship with Alan had pretty much ended by the time he got heavily into magic, so I don't think it's that. I just like sex and enjoy it.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Amazing Randy, Please tell us about your sex life. I mean, you're RANDY, right?

Huh. I always want to talk on the sex threads, but it's a bit embarassing since some of you have even met my bf.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 20:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm embarassed too, because, like, some of you have actually had sex and all...

― Skottie, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 20:56 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, i don't know about that.

― strongo hulkington's ghost (dubplatestyle), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 20:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Sarah, you have to ask him in ALL CAPS or he won't be able to hear you

― Skottie, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 20:59 (twenty-two years ago)

CALLING THE AMAZING RANDY! HELLO!!! DO YOU HEAR ME? LOL!?!?!?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 21:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Calling Dr. Bombay! Come right away! And sex this party up!

http://www.harpiesbizarre.com/bombaybanner.jpg

― Skottie, Tuesday, 4 November 2003 21:28 (twenty-two years ago)

HI I AM NOT AMAZING RANDY! AW YEAH GIRL I'M GONNA LAY YOU DOWN ON A BED OF ROSE PETALS AND KISS EVERY ONE OF YOUR TOES WHILE I REACH UP AND GRAB YOUR BOOBS! I AM A WEREWOLF HOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLL! OH WAIT I'M NOT CONOR SMEDLY EITHER! I AM THE NOT SO AMAZING RANDY! HI!

― NOT SO AMAZING RANDY (Nick A.), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 21:30 (twenty-two years ago)

here we see the Not So Amazing Randy auditioning for the roll of "Randy Savage" in "The Bon Jovi Story."

....Next!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Tuesday, 4 November 2003 21:33 (twenty-two years ago)

2-4 times a week? try 2-4 times a year

― the surface noise (electricsound), Wednesday, 5 November 2003 00:50 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

Order a hamburger, but replace the meat with a potato cake.

― Justen, Thursday, 24 November 2005 15:14 (twenty years ago)

fifteen years pass...

What’s your sexpiration date?

― calstars, Friday, 26 March 2021 23:20 (four years ago)

Ara I wouldn't be fond of sex but when I'd go at it I'd go at it awful very hard. I'd have about 45 goes in about eh two hours I'd have a packet crips then maybe an aul packet of peanuts. And then id go for, arra I'd have ten more anyway. Then I'd get up the following morning and Maureen would have the fry on. And I'd go at it again. And there'd be no ****ing shtoppin me. Id take the shirt off any man's back. Bastards.

― Marry and Neghim (darraghmac), Saturday, 27 March 2021 00:00 (four years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U1n9QTkrkP0

― calstars, Saturday, 27 March 2021 00:08 (four years ago)

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