Are there people at your house?

never at my folks place. i always enjoyed the big family get togethers but home was kind of vacant at aother times. i'd play at other kids places. my family were social, sure...but away from home.

i lived in share houses after i left. the best times were in places that became hubs. i gravitated toward people who wanted that too, or drove it naturally. it was great. once i lived in a warehouse with 5 girls and i had to build walls to get some privacy.

now, and thats why i thought of it, i have my own family and there's never any space.

so yeah, it can change.

I'm still not a natural at having people over; mr teeny handles most of that. I tend to want to 'get things ready' whereas he just gets on the phone and talks peopel into coming over. Of course he comes from a huge family that all lives in the same general area, and his whole family works in businesses that depend on networking and relationships (insurance and car salesmen), so there are always a ton of friendly people wherever we go.

Mom's a total extrovert. Dad and I were always the ones who really weren't up for socializing, but we figured out how to act during those times when we had lots of people over at the house.

When I was a kid, eh, I would have friends over sometimes but really it didn't feel like many people were visiting.

No-one ever comes to visit us now ever because we live in the arse end of nowhere. Ally C was our last visitor and that was a few weeks ago, and then only because I had beer and a widescreen TV to watch the football...

People don't really come by apt. now b/c i'm slob and don't like having to tidy up for company. However my best friends live around me so in some ways it's like a little commune house with our separate apts. In that way, people are always around.

found my mum frantically cleaning the bathroom (disinfectant, the works) just now. "your brother has just invited two friends to stay the night." then a bit later she said "right, i can't handle this, i'm staying somewhere else tonight" and is currently attempting to storm out.

when my then-gf (whom i was pretty serious with) stayed, the whole house got a total going-over. and i mean total. we got the best bed.

when my friends and i cotch at a house, it is invariably not mine. partly coz i live nowhere near them, but mostly because of these irritatingly neurotic ideas about hostmanship. like, my brother's friends DON'T expect a spotless house. they probably don't expect to sleep on much more than a couch. not everything has to be perfect. they're here for my friend, and for shelter. it doesn't have to be a perfect living experience. we're not being judged. argh.

at least i get to do lots of travelling around even while unemployed, which is nice

can't wait to move out, though

we english judge at all sorts of absurdly subliminal levels

my brother's friends aren't even english for the most part! dude chills with iranians. has started calling me 'brother' and not in a fraternal way. is actually something of an improvement.

and my friends, i know for certain they don't judge. i know for certain that when i visit their house, there will be clutter and mess and it won't bother anyone in the slightest. why, then, does it have to be this way? what are we preserving when we dust the living-room and tidy important stuff into boxes where it won't be found?

been there with my mum and 'why are you cleaning now for the visitors? better they see the house as it really is'. that was 20 years ago. yesterday i made sure the toilet bowl was clean cos my daughter had someone to sleep over and skid marks are skid marks in anyone's book...

also tidying=control

apparently loud swearing coming from our house will be automatically heard by neighbours, who will judge us, and this will adversely affect our quality of life even though we don't actually communicate with them at *all*

apparently if one is in a state of undress in one's room, a double-decker bus might go by, everyone might look through a tree and observe the unspeakable horrors within, and the same adverse effects will ensue

this is all a bit stroppy teenager but come the fuck on

lol my dad gets irritable when people knock on the front door never mind having guests overnight. They got a new 3 piece suite at some point in my early teens and - i swear to god - we weren't allowed to sit on it whilst wearing jeans for the first couple of years in case the studs damaged it somehow.

living at home w/parents as an adult is always a problem.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I'm at peace with my folks but honestly I'd throw myself under a bus if I had to live there for a month.

WORD

I can handle two/three days at Christmas and that's about it. And my parents and I get along better now than ever, I appreciate time spent w/them more. Enough years have passed since I was a kid/sullen or mouthy teenager, such that it's rare we fall back into those roles. I've also realized that they're both still pretty healthy, but they'll start becoming old people with medical problems that prevent them from doing things soon enough. It was funny - a couple weeks ago they came up to celebrate Father's Day and we went to an event, and I managed to ditch them within 15 minutes -- I don't think we ever completely abandon those roles/habits.

One week into my three weeks home for holidays each year and I want to strangle my mom, figuratively, of course.

We lived in one of those neighbourhoods where kids were in and out of each others' houses and gardens in swarm formation; when cable television was invented we did not have it. My aunt lived four houses away on a bit of a creek where swimming was possible, had a pool and an acre of land next to a wood and a marsh - that's one place we all went, see also their pool table and cable. When I got too old for that, my best friend had by then moved across the road. Her dad, the mad English scientist, demanded and got high tea every day after N and I got home from school. My mom spent two years with a fucked back and eventually a slipped disc, so we weren't at mine too much.

My mom used to make us tidy up *before the cleaning lady arrived*. When you are 12 this defies logic.

Maternal panic clean = totally a control thing. Cleaning lady: best $18 per week my mom ever spent, seeing as there's only so much two kids can do to help a single parent around the house without everyone going insane.

my parents got divorced around 20 years ago, and my dad's house (where i spent spent pretty much all the childhood i can remember) was always a quiet place, but about 5 years ago he remarried and now has two new kids, so it's like picadilly circus when i go home. a lot of friends my age go home to relax, eat good food, have nice times, be in a clean, well-appointed environment for once, etc. i love those babies, but jesus, it's bedlam in that place.

Maternal panic clean = totally a control thing.

My mom doesn't really do this, but my aunt does - who is a serious control freak/perfectionist. It's sad because my youngest cousin (this aunt's daughter) is going through some serious mental illness stuff, has moved back in with aunt/uncle - and I think it's frustrating for both of them. Imagine being seriously messed up and living with a mother who notices and micromanages every dysfunctional detail of your messed up life.

My mom's panic clean took 20 minutes and generally involved sweeping a pile of kid detritus off a surface and onto a floor, while shouting and running a vacuum around.

apparently if one is in a state of undress in one's room, a double-decker bus might go by, everyone might look through a tree and observe the unspeakable horrors within, and the same adverse effects will ensue

no double deckers down our street but impossible to make the beast with two backs with beloved while the curtains are open. no father ted-esque explanations will do to change her mind.

"it's not small, it's just far away, honest" ;)

own mum just came in and needlessly made my bed :/ all without uttering a word, even when hailed, i do not like these moments

and now comes in to shriek at me for playing Mew at excessive volume "have you no shame?", is clearly in a state of high duress

Your choice of Danish music sends the wrong message to visitors, please reconsider.

wait isn't it like midnight where you are? Your mom's cleaning house at midnight?

tbh i don't know what's going on, except that i'd better not mess

mew are genuinely the only danish band on my itunes :(

This thread revival is making the next two months where I move home seem... ah fuck it, I have a good set of headphones and fuck load of weed, it can't be that bad...

take up cricket! weekends will fly by :D

i've pretty much had to implement a personal policy where i'm out of the house at least 4 nights a week... sends the $ i spend on gas into the stratosphere but it's fucking worth it to keep my sanity.

also helps to let it out at the gym and playing sports for the first time since never

Isn't cricket incredibly boring to play unless you are either the batsmen, bowler or dude they keep hitting it to?

lol, i thought my mum was crazy until i read this, she hoovered the hall last week when i had a girl coming round even though i'd hoovered it about 3 days before, she's surprisingly balanced if this thread is anything to go by. I actually think i'll miss living at home when i move out later this year because my quality of living is going to plummet. For dinner tonight i had scallops, sirloin steak, strawberrys and cream, a glass of good Chilean cab sav and followed by a coffee with whiskey and cream. When I'm living by myself I will have aglio e olio and a glass of own brand diluting juice.

my friends have never been round my house much, when i was in school i had a friend whose mother let us get drunk and smoke weed in the house so we all congregated there. Now that i'm older most of my friends have houses and flats.

We had motley bunches of people staying in the house all through my childhood. Assorted Chileans including a member of the FPMR, a homeless indian woman, assorted brazilians, two Venezuelan women, Americans, French, etc.

if i had a pile of w33d it'd be worse tbh though that doesn't mean i don't want a pile of weed. x-post

Have already figured out a plan of a daily hour run to smoke while walking back knackered/in a field somewhere and get the bus home. Yay for unemployment.

lj, at least the place is clean. and umm, there may be other positives.

a hoy hoy, be one of those guys and it's easy street

am struggling to be any of those guys a bit atm mind :/ but hey it's all about the vibe, the being outdoors, the camaraderie...

also wd spliff up w/ ^^ no joke

also jim do not repost your dinner if that is indeed your dinner if you do not wish for me to glower at the screen

Is she this ocd all the time or just when people visit?

mostly just when the prospect of people visiting hoves into view, generally is ok if omni-conscious other times

<3 obv

i shouldn't have to say that but yeah

please post more about your mom!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8HowJEqUuAw

one of my roommates treats our apartment like a youth hostel which drives me fucking crazy.

For dinner tonight i had scallops, sirloin steak, strawberrys and cream, a glass of good Chilean cab sav and followed by a coffee with whiskey and cream

err, fuck you. just a little bit. my mother, who has written and published several cookery books, is incapable of providing non-burnt cuisine for her son unless fourteen of her friends are also present. she also has a very odd predilection for all the peas.

i know, i am a dick, but comfort yourself in the fact that i will soon be suffering malnutrition in a hovel rather than eating in fine style in a middle-class street.

you're not a dick, jim. you're welcome to join me for meals that aspire to the above but generally wind up as gourmet fishfinger sandwiches with a whole lotta booze.

worst thing is when my mum invites me for dinner and fails to mention that her (non live-in) "partner" will also be joining us. wtf.

domestic FAP

No.

Pour one out for being raised by Delia.

my family had people around when i was growing up, but it was always planned in advance... it wasn't like a sitcom where random people would just show up unannounced. i kind of hated it though; i would hide out in my room so i didn't have to socialize with my parents' "weird" friends.

i don't invite many people around to my place now, but it's for the same reason i don't see my friends that frequently: we all live fairly far apart, and we have adult priorities that can make it hard to coordinate get-togethers.

I always clean up when people are coming over. I think it's just polite, a way of saying, "I am so happy you are in my home that I removed all the cat hair from the couch so as to make your visit more comfortable and less covered in cat hair." Just because I'm willing to wallow in my own filth doesn't mean I expect my friends to do so.

Our place is too small to be the social hub (that is how it was when I was growing up, too - it was cool to have people over, but space-wise, logistically impossible to be That House where everybody went to hang out, plus we never had the cool things like swimming pools or pool tables or cable TV or a pantry well-stocked with Little Debbies that tended to draw crowds) but I have lived in social hub houses and it is both delightful and fiercely irritating.

As Jenny says, I add an extra level of comfort to the level of comfort I usually live in. Not that anyone ever comes round to my house save family and the odd mate crashing over en route to the airport (which we live right next to).

We do eat nice food even when it's just us though, I don't just drag out the culinary expertise for the visitors.

mew are genuinely the only danish band on my itunes :(

No Junior Senior, huh?

You know, one reason I like having people over occasionally is that it gives me motivation to clean more thoroughly than I would otherwise.

My parents had friends over. Yeah. Friends and also business relatives. It's only now, as an adult, that I realize what a fuckload of friends my dad had. Especially when he was in his early twenties. It must have freaked him out that I rarely if ever went out when I hate my late teens. I did have friends over but very few, especially not when I was a teen. My mother developped this fucked up idea that it was best not to have friends. (I guess from being fucked over by their friends?)

Hate my late teens? HIT. Christ. No, that was not a freudian slip. hah.

my house has people over -- my landlady's parents are visiting from austria for 6 weeks. on friday my boyfriend and i arrived home late to find them & our landlord after 5 bottles of wine, which ended up being pretty hilarious.

after 7 months in this apartment i am only just now ready to have more people over -- up until now we barely had enough furniture but i think that will change soon -- birthday coming up!

no

lol

currently i am living in two different houses neither of which are my own, so I feel weird and constrained about having people over, and it's really starting to bum me out.

like, i like seeing people at the pub, and i like meeting someone just to go for a walk, and i can remember not being able to get anything done because someone has come over after work and you were just playing videogames and watching tmf, but.