Gangs of ILX: Introducing THE CLUSTER GANG

Message Bookmarked

Bookmark Removed

I've said I don't come to ILX to talk about ILX. Here's where I contradict myself proudly, boldly, without contradiction. Here's where I horrify a bunch of posters whose attitudes to life are similar to mine by hand picking them to be part of a new brand, a new band, a new gang which I am calling, for the purposes of marketing, THE CLUSTER GANG.

So stop forward Anthony, Suzy, Ed, Enrique, Tracer Hand, Ann Sterzinger, Nabisco... the gang starts with you. There are differences in accent, but I feel like we are A GANG. Did I miss anyone out? Who else feels they should be with us? Who knows for sure they're against us? Can we define what it is that unites us and will bind this unit through turbulent threads? Can we work out a system of relay or tag posting related to geography, so that when one poster tires there's always another in a different time zone ready to come in slugging for liberty, justice and THE CLUSTER GANG WAY?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Who's in your gang and what do you call yourselves?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, are you just grandly and royally bored today?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Bend over for your CLUSTER GANG tattoo, Suzy!

I identified another gang: the SOUTHSIDE CALLBOX gang.

Matt Cibulla
Nate Patrin
Jody Beth Rosen
Michaelangelo Matos
Anthony Easton

Anthony, you traitor! WHICH GANG ARE YOU IN?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:29 (twenty-two years ago)

I wouldn't belong to any gang that would have me. Hyuck hyuck hyuck.

(Unless said gang was comprised entirely of dirty dronerock soundartists and dirty dronerock history programme presenters.)

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:30 (twenty-two years ago)

But will they fight for you when you're in trouble Kate? Will they drone when you moan?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh fuck. I feel that Momus is about to write an indie-musical based on the gangs. You have the weakest gang ever, obviously.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:32 (twenty-two years ago)

Tattoos are so dreadfully RE/SEARCH, Nick.

so as Jets, you are the pasty-ass white boy retard gang?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:33 (twenty-two years ago)

Also some of those people join me in the Minneapolis Tendency. City of (F)lakes, right?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:35 (twenty-two years ago)

SORREE!! You have the feyest gang, ever, than.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:36 (twenty-two years ago)

ACTION AND JETS
Gee, Officer Krupke, we're very upset;
We never had the love that ev'ry child oughta get.
We ain't no delinquents,
We're misunderstood.
Deep down inside us there is good!

Gee, Officer Krupke,
We're down on our knees,
'Cause no one wants a fellow with a social disease.
Gee, Officer Krupke,
What are we to do?
Gee, Officer Krupke,
Krup you!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:37 (twenty-two years ago)

Momus: Why carry knives when we have our wits?
The Cluster Gang: (chanting in sing-song) He's right. He's right. He's right.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

You have the feyest gang, ever, than.

SING IF YOU'RE GLAD TO BE FEY!
SING IF YOU'RE HAPPY THIS WAY!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Make of our hands one hand!
Make of our hearts one heart!
Now it begins, now we start -
One hand!
One heart!

Even death won't stop us now!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

what the fuck is this, divide and rule or something?

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dammit, I was trying to post a picture of my moaning droaning art history professor, but Amazon is being a bloody bitch. I'll just have to link to him:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0520230221/ref=lib_rd_ss_TBCV/103-3399556-0887035?v=glance&s=books&vi=reader&img=11#reader-link

Can he be in my gang? Please?

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:42 (twenty-two years ago)

You're either with us, or you're against us, Pashmina!

One hand! One heart! The LUSTRE OF CLUSTER!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:43 (twenty-two years ago)

The last person that thought me fey wound up on his ass in a Tube carriage after a strategic kick to the nuts. Fact.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:44 (twenty-two years ago)

Scene: Momus is stopped in the street. Someone has yelled out: 'Hey Momus, hey you fag ...'. The gang starts to dance out of alleyways and cornershops clicking their fingers. Momus turns around dramatically. He stops and stares at his verbal assailant. 'But I can SING' (in a low Leonard Cohen-like mumble). The assailant as played by Peter from Fame Academy retaliates by singing 'You and Me'. The verbal murmuring grows louder. The Cluster Gang begins chanting social action words to criticise the assailant.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:45 (twenty-two years ago)

Ah, the hotness. CURSE YOU, AMAZON.

(Peter Fame Academy is not as hot as Nigel Spivey. FACT!!!)

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:46 (twenty-two years ago)

well, fey is my name (actually it almost is my name)

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

Dave Q wonders out in the melee singing 'I'm so Pretty' whilst holding a gluebag to his face. He is accidently run-over by a passing bus. The Cluster Gang take off to fervently discuss life and death and the consequences of both. SCENE ENDS.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:48 (twenty-two years ago)

*clink* *clink* *clink*

oh warriors come out and playay

*clink* *clink* *clink*

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:49 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, he looks like the bastard love child of Nick and Michael Portillo. and 'Nigel Spivey' sounds like a character in Parklife or a Robyn Hitchcock song.

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

That would be the clunking of the Cluster Gangs japanese fashion accessories, non?

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

Who wants to join my rival gang, the Saucy Liberals?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:50 (twenty-two years ago)

FEAR OUR STYLE! MOCK OUR CAFE LIFESTYLE WHILE SECRETLY WISHING YOU COULD SIP THE BRIMMING FROTH WITH US! LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND SHRIVEL IN THE KNOWLEDGE THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO OUTLUSTRE A CLUSTER!

CLUSTERS, MUSTER!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Gosh, he looks terrible in his official Cambridge faculty photo:

http://www.classics.cam.ac.uk/Faculty/photos/spivey.gif

He looks much better when he is wandering around underground bunkers talking about Nazis!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Hmm, Cluster Bomb anyone?

― Pete (Pete), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, he looks like the bastard love child of Nick and Michael Portillo.

Are you *trying* to make me ill? I'm trying to have a sexual fantasy here, leave me alone!

Yes, his name is silly. It's part of the appeal. Like "Julian Casablancas" *isn't* a silly name?

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm pleased to have been called out by name but it feels weird to imagine myself part of a FORMAL subgroup here or something.

I like the Island Manhattan! Smoke on your pipe and put that in!

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Pete, you are all bluster, we are THE CLUSTERS!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:54 (twenty-two years ago)

good news boppers, the big alert is back on. looks like there's more trash to take out. time to clean up the streets for real. can you dig it?

― renegade soundbwoy (blueski), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

last one to Coney's a fey fuck

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, wtf?! I hope he looks better wandering around.

I'm with the Saucy Liberals 100%!

― Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Awesome. The Saucy Liberals challenge the Cluster Gang to a game of stickball...TO THE DEATH!

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:58 (twenty-two years ago)

We in the CLUSTERS listen to Cluster. What do you Saucy Liberals listen to?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Nick, off to Potsdam with you, I want The Schoß Sans Souci tagged as our territory.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 16 October 2003 11:59 (twenty-two years ago)

No one understands my forbidden lust! waaaaahhhhh!!!

(Perhaps they just make him up to make him look better on TV)

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

http://webpages.charter.net/cmvenuti/images/rubyshot.jpg

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:00 (twenty-two years ago)

Pay your dues to our views or we launch Sterzinger missiles at yous!

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:01 (twenty-two years ago)

Anthony there is on the team. He'll take the bullet for me! Unless he's a double agent.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:03 (twenty-two years ago)

HEADLINE: MOMUS CAUGHT DEFACINIG CHICKLET BOOKS. TONY PARSON DEEMS MOMUS AND HIS GANG 'MAD'.

― jets, Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the idea of an exclusive Drinking Club better. Gangs sound a bit too active.

― Tico Tico (Tico Tico), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Kate, I was also trying to put you off your lunch ;-).

I can just imagine Ken Livingston saying his name in that Estuary drone:
Noyyyyy-jill Spoy-vee.

Do Sterzinger missiles come in packs of two, Nick?

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I haven't checked yet.

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I like the ACTUALITY of exclusive drinking clubs wot I don't mention by name on ILX because while not being elitist, I don't want Cabbage going to them ;-).

― suzy (suzy), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

If the Cluster Gang wants to rumble with the Saucy Liberals, you can find us at our secret hideout (Starbucks) listening to new age world music and smoking clove cigarettes. You want a piece of this?

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:08 (twenty-two years ago)

If you hear the strains of the pipes of Zamfir, that means we're coming after you. Be afraid!

― NA (Nick A.), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Where is Pinkpanther? She lives in Cambridge, doesn't she? I will let her join my moaning droaning exclusive drinking gang if she will lie in wait and pull passing Horny Historians off their bicycles!

― kate (kate), Thursday, 16 October 2003 12:11 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 233 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

i wonder if it's anything to do with the link to amazon, one of kates posts ?

― Ste, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

great ILX threads i'm glad i missed, #23 in a series.

― grimly fiendish, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:17 (eighteen years ago)

Pash, seriously don't know. Nothing stands out, and nobody seems to have mentioned it previously on the thread which is strange.

― Ste, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:20 (eighteen years ago)

its not happening to me anymore but i bookmark.

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:22 (eighteen years ago)

oh it's gone

― Ste, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:23 (eighteen years ago)

oh hang on, i clicked 'yes' the previous time it showed up. duh

― Ste, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:23 (eighteen years ago)

It's because one of the images (I presume) comes from an https site whose certificate has expired. Site is rt2.aeroplan.com, not sure what's referencing it as that url doesn't seem to show up in the source.

― ledge, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

here:

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/636/thingysu3.jpg

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

gosh im helpful

― sunny successor, Wednesday, 26 September 2007 15:25 (eighteen years ago)

two months pass...

As of this point on, LBZC has been renamed "The Cluster Gang". Thanks for your attention.

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 17 December 2007 10:43 (seventeen years ago)

http://z.about.com/d/phoenix/1/0/r/K/tumbleweeds01.jpg

― Pashmina, Monday, 17 December 2007 10:51 (seventeen years ago)

"LBZC"?

― Tuomas, Monday, 17 December 2007 11:12 (seventeen years ago)

google it

― That one guy that hit it and quit it, Monday, 17 December 2007 11:12 (seventeen years ago)

Is that the photo you show the barber when he asks you what you want your hair to look like, Pash?

― Dom Passantino, Monday, 17 December 2007 11:18 (seventeen years ago)

4/10

― onimo, Monday, 17 December 2007 11:19 (seventeen years ago)

OH SHIT DOM NOW I HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS PICTURE:
http://wiredtom.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2006/11/owned.JPG

― Pashmina, Monday, 17 December 2007 11:22 (seventeen years ago)

four months pass...

i guess we'll never see what pashmina saw :(

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 18:57 (seventeen years ago)

http://englishfootballpost.com/news/wp-content/uploads/2007/09/bash_street_kids.jpg

The Cluster Gang, yesterday.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:22 (seventeen years ago)

What is LBZC?

― Abbott, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:26 (seventeen years ago)

I'm gonna see if I can answer before someone does a "comedy" answer.

It stands for "lol britpop zing culture", it's a combination of two dismissive terms aimed at a loose brand of Brit ILM posters. "lol britpop" being descriptive of a certain type of thread beloved by Enriquit, and "zing culture" being a term for a style of ILX posting that values snark and wit above lengthy Sinister-style ish.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:28 (seventeen years ago)

lgbt splinter group

ah shit xpost :)

― onimo, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:29 (seventeen years ago)

Huh. Thanks Dom.

― Abbott, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:29 (seventeen years ago)

is it 'el bee zed see' or 'el bee zee see'?

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:31 (seventeen years ago)

zee see is snappier, but american

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:31 (seventeen years ago)

so it's lolbritpop zing culture, not lolbritpop zing crew?

― J0rdan S., Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

I've always pronounced it in my head as "El Bee Zed Cee"

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:32 (seventeen years ago)

we should get max clifford in to sort the lbzc publicity out before the prostate cancer gets him

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:34 (seventeen years ago)

so it's lolbritpop zing culture, not lolbritpop zing crew?

-- J0rdan S., Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:32 (1 minute ago) Bookmark Link

Lol Britpop Zing Culture, aka the Zing Crew.

"Zing Crew" is a little more Americanized, perhaps showing a nod of the hat to the Ringtone Crew.

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:35 (seventeen years ago)

Lazy Zing Britpop Curmudgeons

― blueski, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:36 (seventeen years ago)

hey what does 'blueski' stand for?

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:37 (seventeen years ago)

i want to be in a gang

― max, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:40 (seventeen years ago)

DG it's not an acronym or anything

― blueski, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:42 (seventeen years ago)

i meant in a moral sense

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:45 (seventeen years ago)

duh

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:45 (seventeen years ago)

you're funny!

― blueski, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:46 (seventeen years ago)

you're not!

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:46 (seventeen years ago)

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

― Dom Passantino, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:47 (seventeen years ago)

i was joking

― blueski, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:49 (seventeen years ago)

http://www.newmexiconuts.net/catalog/tumbleweed.jpg

― DG, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:50 (seventeen years ago)

i want to be in a gang as well

― homosexual II, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:52 (seventeen years ago)

My first week at college I walked up to some interesting-looking people and said "hey, we should start a gang". They looked at me like I was a total fuckwad. As it turns out, that episode is fairly paradigmatic of my life thusfar.

― dell, Thursday, 17 April 2008 20:58 (seventeen years ago)

As it turned out, they weren't even particularly interesting. One guy was an albino white aspiring Rastafarian who got busted for buying weed a week later; another was a barely articulate J. Mascis-lookalike stoner dude, and another was some crushingly boring guy with a mohawk who covered his entire dorm room in aluminum foil...

― dell, Thursday, 17 April 2008 21:01 (seventeen years ago)

five years pass...

What current gangs operate and rollcall pls

― lorde othering (darraghmac), Monday, 30 December 2013 03:00 (eleven years ago)

Privcrew checking in

― 乒乓, Monday, 30 December 2013 03:02 (eleven years ago)

lool dell

― lag∞n, Monday, 30 December 2013 03:04 (eleven years ago)

Sup dayo i see u *nods*

― lorde othering (darraghmac), Monday, 30 December 2013 03:21 (eleven years ago)

gangs

― a beef supreme (dog latin), Monday, 30 December 2013 09:38 (eleven years ago)

three years pass...

no more gangs *=*

― virginity simple (darraghmac), Tuesday, 2 May 2017 14:54 (eight years ago)

Did I miss anyone out? Who else feels they should be with us?

― Momus (Momus), Thursday, October 16, 2003 7:25 AM (thirteen years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

― lag∞n, Tuesday, 2 May 2017 14:59 (eight years ago)

mods def a gang

― your cognitive privilege (El Tomboto), Tuesday, 2 May 2017 19:21 (eight years ago)

You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.