Maybe I'm an asshole; maybe you're an asshole; but I can still tell Chicago to go to your show.

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Hey, I was probably posting too lit last night to make sense of my Chicago Reader datebook offer: I'm subbing for the girl who usually does the datebook in the calendar (look at the back of section one -- see all those lil blurbs under the dates telling people about an interesting thing or two to do each day) and I'm trolling for interesting events to plug during the week of the 31st. I have to be able to make a little story out of 'em, so don't bother with "my band rawks and we're playing Friday!" Also I can't do too many events that are similar. And remember: I don't care whether you seem like a jerk to me or I seem like a jerk to you; I just want some shiny pretty copy and I want to get people to go to innaresting events instead of staying home yelling at their significant others out of boredom, OK? If this isn't a good enough xplanation I'll be back in a bit...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Sunday, 19 October 2003 21:09 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, you know, my band is playing an interesting show on Nov. 6th that I could write some pretty copy about, but it's in Portland, so oh well!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Sunday, 19 October 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

my execution is happening on the 31st but i will have to check my date book...

― doom-, Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:01 (twenty-one years ago)

few things are more sad than people who write for urban free weeklies coming in here and chest-thumping. talk about the "big fish, little pond" phenomenon!

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't chest-thump. I shrug. Then I do some awkward uprocking.

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:24 (twenty-one years ago)

is ILE the cool new place to go when you want someone else to do your job for you? that's good cuz i was thinking of painting my house but now i can just ask someone here to do it. i don't care if yur an asshole either. just as long as you are shiny and pretty.

― scott seward, Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

re: chest-thumping:

For god's sake it isn't like I don't want to run out of this job screaming every single day; nobody chest-thumps BECAUSE they work at the Chicago Reader. I am doing a stupid fill-in job for somebody else right now; nevertheless I'd like to make interesting work of it, since I'm certainly not going to get much financial satisfaction. So d'ya wanna plug or don't you?

re: "is ILE the cool new place to go when you want someone else to do your job for you? ":

I have a large stack of press releases here I can rewrite that would make much quicker and easier work of this job than dealing with this, believe me. And please note: I am doing someone ELSE'S job for her, as explained above.

Here's an idea: if you don't have an event scheduled already, make one up. Have a friend with a nice big loft space throw an after-Halloween hangover party. Turn those talking candy bowls into vomit receptors! Or have a bake sale for the victims of Stuff Magazine. Make penis cakes for it! I don't care! Just do something interesting! Damn, I forgot to post this to ILM, maybe they're up to something...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

shriney and petty.

― RJG (RJG), Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:36 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.dotmusic.com/images/limpbizkit/freddurst.jpg

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Sunday, 19 October 2003 23:39 (twenty-one years ago)

omg! it would be k-funny if like kathleen wilson of the stranger started posting here! lmao! let meeee tell all y'all bizatches, especially from last night's cha cha back room escapades (HO HO HO) that kathleen is still the queen of indie boy ho-bags... especially ones in tight black deicide t's and those godawful new spike belts by whatsthatcompany that like all the abc&f "bois" are all wearing to like get all gruff and masc and shit. but we won't bore you with the details.

― donut bitch (donut), Monday, 20 October 2003 00:40 (twenty-one years ago)

wanna research connecticut estate and succession tax and probate law for me, too? i've got a memo due on that for a client tomorrow!

― Little Big Macher (llamasfur), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:22 (twenty-one years ago)

OK, every non-gang-affiliated ILXer who's posted to this thread so far is hereby drafted into the "How Dare You Offer Us Free Publicity/Gee I Wish I Were Doing Something Interesting in Chicago" gang. Breathe easy though; your acronym looks like it's already been clusterfucked.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:36 (twenty-one years ago)

Somebody find me a steady job in NYC that pays $80,000 or more and also a decent apartment that allows cats. My experience:

• obsolete graphic design and page layout software
• drive-thru cashier and line cook
• college radio program director
• classified government intelligence work

Thanks!

― TOMBOT, Monday, 20 October 2003 02:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Nate, if you didn't already have a blog, I would command you to start one and name it "Awkward Uprocking."

― rob geary (rgeary), Monday, 20 October 2003 02:30 (twenty-one years ago)

oh, shit. i thought i was queen of indie boy ho-bags, but maybe that's just east coast division.

― lauren (laurenp), Monday, 20 October 2003 03:06 (twenty-one years ago)

HAHAHA! "Program Director"! Now NO ONE will hire you!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 20 October 2003 03:57 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, Ann. I've got nothing for you. I'm sure once I actually move to Chicago I'll be able to come up with something. What do you normally do for the Chi Reader?

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Monday, 20 October 2003 14:00 (twenty-one years ago)

The lunar cycle in which "31 October" falls the nickalicious shall be: 1) (hopefully finishing) recording a song called "Monkey is the Man", 2) baptising inebriated All Hallow's Eve revelers all the live long day, 3) banging on the drummery for Th3 M4nn3qu1ns dressed as a good ol' boy agricultural engineer (aka "farmer") at the UK Student Center All Hallow's Rockin' Eve BASH, 4) sneaking rum-soaked-bananas to as many primates in as many zoos within driving distance as possible*, 5) not anywhere near Chicago. Sad face.

*this I may only get to live out in my dreams

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 20 October 2003 14:17 (twenty-one years ago)

can someone post pictures of ponies for me or start a new thread asking people to post pictures of ponies, i need to see pictures of ponies

― magic pig detective (24 hour troubleshooter), Monday, 20 October 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.algonet.se/~modehus/images/ponyborg.jpg

― you're the man now dog (nickalicious), Monday, 20 October 2003 14:45 (twenty-one years ago)

Ann, the upstairs part of the Empty Bottle, known as the Bottle Top, has recently begun hosting events. On November 1, there's an art exhibit opening called "Nighties" -- it's curated by a new, as-yet-unnamed art collective that plans on displaying work in that space monthly. If you can fit this into your calendar, e-mail me for contact info.

― jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 20 October 2003 16:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"Sorry, Ann. I've got nothing for you. I'm sure once I actually move to Chicago I'll be able to come up with something. What do you normally do for the Chi Reader?
-- Sarah McLUsky (x77tigersxu...), October 20th, 2003."

I'll write about anything interesting, if they let me!
PS Damn I love dem ponies.

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:21 (twenty-one years ago)

Googlism for Ann Sterzinger:

ann sterzinger is amazing
ann sterzinger is here now and

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Googlism for Michaelangelo Matos:

michaelangelo matos is a freelance writer who contributes to the minneapolis city pages
michaelangelo matos is a good guy to get a pint with
michaelangelo matos is also weary of the saturated praise
michaelangelo matos is a staff writer for seattle weekly and a frequent contributor to city pages
michaelangelo matos is a staff writer at seattle weekly

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Googlism for James Blount:

james blount is an ilx regular and was the first person to answer this focus group
james blount is our staff republican

(this latter comment from a publication called Foundry Street.)

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:46 (twenty-one years ago)

And actually, Martha, now that I recall, my first contact with Neal ever was when he gave me an E-mail bizotch-slapping because I'd been publically talking shit about him without reading his stuff first, which caused me to slap my own damn self in the head, go "he's right! whattan asshole I am!", apologize, and go on to be a bit less of an asshole for the rest of my dog's life so far, so I stands consistent!

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:47 (twenty-one years ago)

I wonder how many Sarah Johnsons there are in the world. *sigh*

― Sarah MCLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:48 (twenty-one years ago)

Actually, that line about Blount being 'our staff republican' is from a section called Foundry Street in a city paper called Flagpole in Athens, Georgia. It dates from 1999, and it seems that the Blount in question is our very own cinniblount, the one who's always hounding me, somewhat bizarrely, for being a 'Republican'. I wonder if he's had a change of heart since 1999, when he was apparently calling himself one?

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:55 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh for god's sake, speaking of being an asshole, I put that post on the wrong thread... can you tell I'm reading copy and chewing gum at the same time???

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 15:56 (twenty-one years ago)

ILX is tricky and fast these days.

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, so fast that my slip o' the mouse (they're such cuties, I always wanna slip 'em someplace) has distracted us from Senor Cinnabon's alleged change of heart...

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:24 (twenty-one years ago)

It's fine to change heart, but not to project your demons onto innocent bystanders.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Indoodly. So Brian Nemtusak is me and Momus is the ghost of Blountmas Past... can Kenan Hebert be Shirley Temple?

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:33 (twenty-one years ago)

this is the thread where we search for ilxors' names at googlism.com and post our favorite results

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:34 (twenty-one years ago)

With respect, milud, I was running Googlism in this instance to pick up the link between ilXors and free city papers, which puts my data within the remit of this thread.

― Momus (Momus), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Ah, sorry, Momus, didn't pick up on that.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:48 (twenty-one years ago)

In that case, you might as well mention the entire Seattle Weekly gang.

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 16:49 (twenty-one years ago)

Went to back me homie, found a wounded galley...

-- Bloody Anne Kidd and a bottle of rum

― Ann Sterzinger (Ann Sterzinger), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 17:08 (twenty-one years ago)

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