what's your best euphemism?

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Here's the best one I've heard yet: "upper decking". What it is is a prank in which you take a dump into the upper tank in the back of someone's toilet. This goes undiscovered, of course, until the inevitable odor begins to manifest itself...

― Octothorpe (Octothorpe), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:11 (twenty-two years ago)

'Licking the pan.' Don't ask me to explain.

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:13 (twenty-two years ago)

'Putting my penis in her vagina'

― oops (Oops), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:17 (twenty-two years ago)

What's that a euphemism for, Oops?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:21 (twenty-two years ago)

oh, it's a euphemism for 'creaming a twinkie'

― oops (Oops), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Celebrating Palm Sunday.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:48 (twenty-two years ago)

'tapping your feet under the table'

― the surface noise (electricsound), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"Operation Dumbo Drop"

― Octothorpe (Octothorpe), Monday, 20 October 2003 01:58 (twenty-two years ago)

Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge have invaded.

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 20 October 2003 03:11 (twenty-two years ago)

My womb is singing the Internationale

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Monday, 20 October 2003 03:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Breaking furniture

― cybele (cybele), Monday, 20 October 2003 03:22 (twenty-two years ago)

in college it was
this: "cherishing the chagrin".
again, please don't ask

― Haikunym (Haikunym), Monday, 20 October 2003 04:55 (twenty-two years ago)

"strangling kittens"

― lint (Jack), Monday, 20 October 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

I also like "teasing God".

― lint (Jack), Monday, 20 October 2003 04:56 (twenty-two years ago)

'Polishing the condom aisle'

― Nellie (nellskies), Monday, 20 October 2003 08:03 (twenty-two years ago)

"Furiously masturbating to climax".

Oh.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 20 October 2003 08:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"studying for my french exam"

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 20 October 2003 08:17 (twenty-two years ago)

that ones pretty obvious tho.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Monday, 20 October 2003 08:18 (twenty-two years ago)

found this one on livejournal:

"torquing the rape shiv"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 20 October 2003 12:21 (twenty-two years ago)

"Paying a visit to Norwich"

― DV (dirtyvicar), Monday, 20 October 2003 16:50 (twenty-two years ago)

"surfing the Internet"

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Monday, 20 October 2003 17:24 (twenty-two years ago)

"logging on"

― oops (Oops), Monday, 20 October 2003 17:34 (twenty-two years ago)

"uploading my rock photos from the weekend to a free image-hosting service"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 20 October 2003 17:49 (twenty-two years ago)

kit-kat shuffle

― jed (jed_e_3), Monday, 20 October 2003 17:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Smoking a big fat bum cigar

Mashing my spuds

― Dave B (daveb), Monday, 20 October 2003 18:03 (twenty-two years ago)

'renting movies'

― luna (luna.c), Monday, 20 October 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

"serving up a strawberry milkshake"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 20 October 2003 18:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Bend Up and Open UP for the Statscock 2

― brian nemtusak (sanlazaro), Monday, 20 October 2003 18:41 (twenty-two years ago)

"researching an art project"

― sucka (sucka), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 05:02 (twenty-two years ago)

"I'd like to fuck her on the tennis court, if you get my meaning."

― jaymc (jaymc), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 05:20 (twenty-two years ago)

"the truth"

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 05:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Plug your Blog

― oops (Oops), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 06:17 (twenty-two years ago)

"Ray Charles"

This was code, so we could talk about our sexual activity in front of the very girl being inqured about. "Ray Charles?" would come the question, and the answer would either be the affirmative, "Ray Charles," or the sadder and much more frequent "Charlie Brown."

― Kenan Hebert (kenan), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 08:04 (twenty-two years ago)

last night i suggested that someone disguise his laugh by claiming he had a hairball from 'licking the lemur.' which i wish was a euphemism for something. (yes, there was actually a lemur at the party in question. no it wasn't alive, it was a plush toy representing the newly adopted zoo lemur.)

― colette (a2lette), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 11:11 (twenty-two years ago)

"worshipping her warm secret"

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:35 (twenty-two years ago)

Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge have invaded.
-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), October 20th, 2003.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My womb is singing the Internationale
-- tokyo rosemary (rosemarygilber...), October 20th, 2003.

see also: Liverpool playing at home then?

Got the painters and decorator in have we, love?

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Dropping the kids off at the pool.

― David Beckhouse (David Beckhouse), Thursday, 23 October 2003 02:52 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm cleaning my bathroom bowl.

The above from a tv commercial from LONG ago. They wouldn't say toilet bowl. Or toilet. Or commode. Or piss pot. So they said "bathroom bowl." I had no idea what a bathroom bowl was as a kid. I mean, you eat soup out of bowls. Or cornflakes. What does that (other than indirectly) have to do with a bathroom?

Were there other euphemisms from the world of advertising that warrant listing? Sanitary napkins? Well, I hope they're sanitary if I'm going to wipe my mouth on it at the table. What? Huh? Ooooohhhh.

― Skottie, Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:10 (twenty-two years ago)

flying a solo mission

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 23 October 2003 11:12 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm rather fond of "Holding the sausage hostage"

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Thursday, 23 October 2003 13:48 (twenty-two years ago)

"Stealing a camera to film turtles cross the street, narrowly missing traffic"

this one doesn't come up that much, but BOY, when it does, look out!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Thursday, 23 October 2003 13:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Maggots in the bathroom

― Ricardo (RickyT), Thursday, 23 October 2003 13:56 (twenty-two years ago)

"rooting through Dan's bin"

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 24 October 2003 16:05 (twenty-two years ago)

"declaring a writ of habeas corpus"

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Friday, 24 October 2003 16:08 (twenty-two years ago)

"let loose the dogs of war"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 24 October 2003 16:21 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh I like that one

― luna (luna.c), Friday, 24 October 2003 16:38 (twenty-two years ago)

and when he's done he "pets the lapdog".
(It's a daschund, if anyone asks.)

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, 24 October 2003 16:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Holding the sausage hostage (we musta watched the same VH1 show, Custos)
Jackin' the beanstalk (also from that show)
Roughing up the suspect

― nickn (nickn), Saturday, 25 October 2003 06:31 (twenty-two years ago)

Patting the bunny

― Layna Andersen (Layna Andersen), Saturday, 25 October 2003 07:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"cleaning the pipes"

― oops (Oops), Saturday, 25 October 2003 07:33 (twenty-two years ago)

For feeling like I'm gonna puke, I'm a bit "Ying Tong Tiddle-I-Po."

― Johnney B, Saturday, 25 October 2003 10:43 (twenty-two years ago)

"giving her a strong Andrew WK'ing while she's on her lunch break"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Saturday, 25 October 2003 21:03 (twenty-two years ago)

Holding the sausage hostage (we musta watched the same VH1 show, Custos)
I remember hearing that one when I was a kid; but, yes, I recently was reminded by a recent VH1 special.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Saturday, 25 October 2003 21:37 (twenty-two years ago)

"Feeling so good you just can't keep it to yourself"

― M Matos (M Matos), Saturday, 25 October 2003 22:26 (twenty-two years ago)

both toilet-related:

running a smear campaign
jailbreak

― jonas lefrel (jonas lefrel), Saturday, 25 October 2003 22:31 (twenty-two years ago)

er....

pork pump.

― Annouschka Magnatech (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 October 2003 22:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Barefootin' on the wicked picket (thanks to Black Randy, and I think he was talking about 2-person sex, but it fits here).

― nickn (nickn), Sunday, 26 October 2003 02:27 (twenty-two years ago)

"GERMANS ARE DANCING IN MY LIVING ROOM!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Sunday, 26 October 2003 08:31 (twenty-two years ago)

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