Defend The Indefensible: Khakis

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Unless you are required to wear them at work (or some sort of extracurricular activity--like the Hitler Youth!), what excuse is there?

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 17:53 (twenty-two years ago)

All my non-khaki pants* make my shiny brown leather shoes look retarded.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 18:05 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.wokoun.com/images/Khakis.jpg

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

Rogue asterisks - what the fudgicle?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 18:06 (twenty-two years ago)

http://home1.gte.net/konman/Khaki.jpg

― Nicolars (Nicole), Tuesday, 21 October 2003 18:21 (twenty-two years ago)

We're a khaki family,
We're a khaki family,
We're a khaki family,
Me, Mom, and Daddy!

― nickn (nickn), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 06:10 (twenty-two years ago)

I wore these today:
http://www.allseasonsuniforms.com/graphics/di37b.jpg

Do I have to defend them?

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 06:16 (twenty-two years ago)

not really as they're not khaki. Khaki is much browner than that, what the people upthread are wearing are chinos surely? (which aren't great but hey when work dress code is smart casual they do the business)

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 06:18 (twenty-two years ago)

Mine are actually tanner than that.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 06:19 (twenty-two years ago)

Khakis are the John Mayer of pants.

― mark p (Mark P), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 11:55 (twenty-two years ago)

they make my crotch feel like a wonderland.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:05 (twenty-two years ago)

THERE IS NO DEFENSE, STOP IT NOW.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:45 (twenty-two years ago)

There is no God.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:46 (twenty-two years ago)

That khaki family is simultaneously wonderful and scarier than Suspiria.

― Nicolars (Nicole), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Mark P OTM.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

"Help us! We fell into the GAP and now we cannot escape the vortex!! ARRRGH!"

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:53 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, seriously, they're dressing for lazy men but they look terrible so it's like you might as well put on sweatpants, it'll be no different in the end. Everyone knows that you're just being lazy so why not go whole hog and at least wear something that is remotely flattering to the ass? Jerkoffs. ARRGH I HATE YOU KHAKIS DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I have about 10 pair of khaki's. I wear one. I don't think I've ever worn a pair outside of work.

I wear them skin tight, they're more like Khakdex, show off the buns and package.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

good if you are a soldier in the desert, bad for anyone else.

― Ed (dali), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

And people who wear khakis outside of the context of "casual Friday at the office" (and even then this is just barely defensible) should be kicked in the nuts.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Sounds like Allyzay and I need to form the Underground Khaki Resistance Army.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 12:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I don't think I've ever worn khakis.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:01 (twenty-two years ago)

YES. Yes we do. I just don't get it--it's not hard to get casual pants that do not look like they belong on a 40-year-old corporate manager on a golfing outing! I've managed to live this long without ever putting pleated, puke-desert colored pants on my ass, I don't see why so many others cannot manage this.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.clothingsolutions.com/Catalog/A2201.jpg

Ally is spot on about sweatsuits.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:02 (twenty-two years ago)

When you come to Boston, I am specifically wearing khakis just to annoy you.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Guess who is getting a kick in the nuts!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Too late, every yuppie in Chicago does it daily.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:05 (twenty-two years ago)

Gets kicked in the nuts?

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:06 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm definitely not moving to Chicago now.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I think I might be though.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:07 (twenty-two years ago)

I mean, some Dockers are 58 fucking dollars on macys.com! What the fuck?

I don't think I own a pair of pants that cost me more than $7, and none of them look that stupid.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Cool, if Dans wearing khakis I'm going to wear a Red Sox sweatsuit.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Great! I'll show up with a blowtorch!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

Actually I'm going to sew Red Sox patches on the crotch of my khakis and surround it with blinking Christmas tree lights.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:09 (twenty-two years ago)

(Because clearly the one thing I need is a more festive crotch, ha.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I can get a job kicking people in the nuts. I have my own boots and everything.

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

All I'm saying is that my bright red sweatpants:

A) Look way better on my ass than khakis do on anyone's ass
B) Cost $5 versus the $60 Sarah references
C) Are just as lazy as khakis

A WINNER IS ME.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:10 (twenty-two years ago)

For the benefit of Cabbage upthread there, in case he hasn't already guessed, I believe Khakis = Chinos in American. Nowt to do with the colour.

― Madchen (Madchen), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

: D

Dan, if you do that, I will elect you president of my universe.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:12 (twenty-two years ago)

Ironically, khakis looked way better on him than any of the people I see wearing them daily.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:14 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm wearing khakis right now and I would like my kick in the nuts please.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Check your email!

― NA (Nick A.), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Maybe I'll just wear Joe Torre to the FAP. My legs surely can fit into his nostrils.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:21 (twenty-two years ago)

for the man who has a casual dress code every day at work, what would the Khaki Pro-Defamation League suggest I wear?

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:22 (twenty-two years ago)

Zubaz pants and a wifebeater.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

I have a casual dress code everyday as well. I have no choice but to wear khaki's most of the time. Other days I wear cords, or flat front dress pants, black or charcoal.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:23 (twenty-two years ago)

Cords. Dickies. Polyester.

The options are out there.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:24 (twenty-two years ago)

For the benefit of Cabbage upthread there, in case he hasn't already guessed, I believe Khakis = Chinos in American. Nowt to do with the colour

That's just dumb, silly americans.

I don't own a pair of chino coloured chinos, but Uniqlo make great work ones for twenty quid and I have a grey pair and a black pair and will soon get a nice brown pair (note not Khaki, which isn't that nice a colour)

Dickies = definitely not suitable for casual dress policy (unfortunately)

Cords are just about acceptable here.

― chris (chris), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:25 (twenty-two years ago)

If you cut the label off the Dickies, would anyone notice?

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:26 (twenty-two years ago)

"options"
http://www.kilt-shop-scotland.com/images/the-kilt-pic.jpg

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 13:27 (twenty-two years ago)

Skipping 67 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

if you can knit a kahki cock cozy so I can wear it to work, make one for me too

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 14:41 (twenty-two years ago)

should be khacki khock khozy

― lawrence kansas (lawrence kansas), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 14:43 (twenty-two years ago)

I could knit you a cock cozy.

excellent!

could you stitch "DEEZ NUTZ WARMER" into it?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

yeah, but Joyce was a drunk irishman, wasn't he? $10 sez his cock was not as cozy as could cozy cock be...

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 14:44 (twenty-two years ago)

It's not a nut warmer, it's a cock cozy! A nut warmer would be gross.

(I am actually in the midst of knitting armwarmers right now, and 'cock cozy' is my smartass answer for when people ask me what I'm knitting.)

― teeny (teeny), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 14:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Like Bryan, I am also here for my kick in the nuts.

― Sean Carruthers (SeanC), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:13 (twenty-two years ago)

What about khaki girl-empowering caps?
http://dogdazedesigns.com/images/girls_rule_purple.jpg

(THIS IS THE BEST THREAD EVER!?!)

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:48 (twenty-two years ago)

In memory of Di:
http://www.cellinifinegifts.com/fmdimages/fmd_princessdicasualkhakia.jpg

― Sarah McLUsky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:49 (twenty-two years ago)

well, what's a better term, then?

cock cozy, nuts warmer, ballswrapping, a vestee for your testes, sac-jacket, dinger dinner-wear?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Sean: those pants that Ally posted would, if worn commando, be ideal for the kind of nut kicking that you and I have coming to us. We already deserve it, and would deserve it even more for wearing those fucked up pants.

― Bryan (Bryan), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:52 (twenty-two years ago)

Canada is filled with a bunch of guys who like to get kicked in the nuts? YES! The tour is gonna be AWESOME!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

How could anyone resist?

http://www.utilikilts.com/images/original/khaki.jpg

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:54 (twenty-two years ago)

Khakis and chinos beat the living fashion shit out of these camouflage pajama bottoms I've been having to wear to work nearly every single day for the past four fucking years, I'll tell you that. I can't wait to shove all this crap in a duffel bag and stow it away forever. I think I'm just going to not shave all November.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.nlrsd.k12.ar.us/Schools/boy_khaki_shorts.GIF

This poor kid.

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:55 (twenty-two years ago)

http://www.marinecorpsactivewear.com/mcaw/productpics/wts-1.jpg

KROWR!

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

Oh my god someone has bridged the khaki-kilt-pocket divide! The end is nigh!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:56 (twenty-two years ago)

wait, i thought of some more:

-a three piece suit for your big man fruit
-The Royal Holder of the Family Jewels
-dick sweater(comes in optional turtleneck for you uncut fellows)

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 15:57 (twenty-two years ago)

I just want to post something on this thread.

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:01 (twenty-two years ago)

cockis.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:03 (twenty-two years ago)

-dick sweater(comes in optional turtleneck for you uncut fellows)
Isn't the turtleneck pretty much a built in already on that model?

― luna (luna.c), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:11 (twenty-two years ago)

That kilt is awesome - I would wear that.

― Kerry (dymaxia), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:12 (twenty-two years ago)

The khaki kilt is making me want to drop the a-bomb on humanity.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:14 (twenty-two years ago)

"drop the a-bomb" should be a euphemism for mooning.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:15 (twenty-two years ago)

...which one could pull off with much greater ease and speed whilst wearing the khilt.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:16 (twenty-two years ago)

Isn't the turtleneck pretty much a built in already on that model?

yes, but this acts more of an accessory.

ooh! ooh! another name: "foreskin accessory!" what a productive day this is!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:17 (twenty-two years ago)

Your search - "foreskin accessory" - did not match any documents.

Shocking!

― Casuistry (Chris P), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:27 (twenty-two years ago)

you said it, not me.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 16:30 (twenty-two years ago)

I had this skirt I wore a lot, in middle school I think, that was a khaki skirt in the front and shorts in the back. VERY classy...

But anyway, over lunch I noticed that (due to this thread) I had developed this horrible superpower where I'm extremely aware of khaki. It was everywhere!

― Sarah mcLusky (coco), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:08 (twenty-two years ago)

Khakis are often a horror, but they can be not bad. I can make 'em look ok.

― Sean (Sean), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 17:41 (twenty-two years ago)

Reading this thread is a roller coaster of emotional responses. I never thought I'd simultaneously be laughing and resisting the urgre to barf.

― oops (Oops), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Thank you, Sean. I have been restraining the urge to say the same thing because I didn't want to get a logistical beatdown.

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:40 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm rocking tan slacks today and they're positively Khaki-esque.

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:41 (twenty-two years ago)

The look: Khakis and T-shirt with half-smoked cigarette dangling from mouth and hair sticking up all over the place. Can of domestic beer optional.

The message: Why the hell are you looking at my ass?

― TOMBOT, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:42 (twenty-two years ago)

I'm rocking tan slacks today and they're positively Khaki-esque.

Well sure, but does your shirt also rock?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:44 (twenty-two years ago)

"I can make the look work for ME": famous last words every single time I put on something incredibly moronic and unflattering.

― ALlyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:48 (twenty-two years ago)

and whose fault is that?!

― Spencer Chow (spencermfi), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:51 (twenty-two years ago)

Yours!!!!!!

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:55 (twenty-two years ago)

Can't blame him til he actually gets to NYC, Ally. Besides, he could deny everything before then.

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 20:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Everything is Spencer's fault!! I'm going to throw a martini on his head.

― Allyzay, Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:01 (twenty-two years ago)

How do slacks differ from pants?

― JuliaA (j_bdules), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 21:09 (twenty-two years ago)

fuck you all. I love my khakis. They're like classy sweat pants!

― Anthony Miccio (Anthony Miccio), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Mwa ha ha ha ha ha!

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Wednesday, 22 October 2003 22:25 (twenty-two years ago)

Khakis are preppy. Therefore I should like khakis. However, I do not like khakis. Oh God, am I not a true prep?

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:33 (twenty-two years ago)

You were probably wondering where those urges to wear mukluks and Dior dresses came from.

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:40 (twenty-two years ago)

Haha!

― Mary (Mary), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:53 (twenty-two years ago)

Join Us!

― Sarah Pedal (call mr. lee), Thursday, 23 October 2003 01:59 (twenty-two years ago)

Hey, I love my j.crew khakis! Honestly, some of the guys at work wear things sooooo much worse. Hello, hawaiian shirt + elastic waist shorts that are too small + white socks + birkenstocks-- even if it doesn't snow out here, I really don't need to see your knees in Oct.

Poor Coastie has been grumbling that their uniform was changed from nice pants to a navy blue version of the standard military cargo pjs style pants, which is sad, he's adorable in the old pants.

― lyra (lyra), Thursday, 23 October 2003 03:03 (twenty-two years ago)

two years pass...

ohnoes, it's dockers season...

― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 05:33 (nineteen years ago)

watch out for the wrinkled crotch

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 05:53 (nineteen years ago)

Your search - wrinkled crotch - did not match any documents.

Suggestions:

* Make sure all words are spelled correctly.
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― rrrobyn (rrrobyn), Tuesday, 18 April 2006 05:59 (nineteen years ago)

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