WHO THE FUCK READS THE DAILY EXPRESS?

I'm on an anti-generalisation tip at the moment. Yes, it can be funny in moderation, but I'm starting to believe that some actually believe all this stuff about breeds of people.

(besides which, since when does writing about an ace detective make you one? perhaps i shd write a book about being very very rich and not a sad loser interweb mentalist haha)

I think there is something specifically lame about the Express, they seem more sensationalist than other tabloids on a really thin budget (cf Pashmina's example above)

I agree that the Daily Express is an odd one to work out, since it seems to be just a shoestring version of the Mail. I'm guessing it might be carrying a lot of readers from its more illustrious past. Perhaps it has a slightly more masculine image than the Mail?

how is this different to the guardian exactly?

Most people don't buy the newspaper for the politics anyway. Sun readers voted Labour before the Sun told them to.

The sad thing about generalisations, N., like the sad thing about clichés, is that they all start off somewhere with the truth.

Hello again, Olly.

I don't know what's inside the paper, I've never opened it. Maybe I should buy a copy for research purposes.

HAHAHAHAHA!

I have no friends and I'm a bit drunk.

A migrant arrested every 4 minutes in UK

THE full extent of the damage unlimited immigration is causing to the fabric of society is revealed by a Daily Express investigation today.

And the comments are even better than HYS.

I'M SORRY, I WAS TO HASTY, I MISJUDGED BROWN

11.02.08, 2:11pm

Yes misjudged all right

This treacherous rat....

I was giving him the benefit of the doubt imagining he was just another spineless ingrate afraid of his own political career.

But he is worse much worse.

THIS IS COLLUSION

Gordon Brown has said he wants Britain to become the centre of global Islamic banking; Saudi Arabia and other Islamic states are buying up more and more British and Western companies, and we now have "Sharia-compliant" mortgages.

Nothing less than a complete sell out

HOW MANY PIECES OF SILVER BROWN
HOW MANY
YOU JUDAS

That coupled with the rest of this government’s headlong plunge into the Islamisation of Britain
passing laws left right and centre to accommodate them.

TREASONOUS TREASONOUS WRETCH

selling us down the river

I saw a column recently marking
Tariq Ramadan the most dangerous man in Britain as the main protaganist for the
"Muslim Brotherhood" in the UK

BUT NO

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN
IN BRITAIN IS BROWN!!!!!

GET THIS MAN LOCKED UP
THE ONLY PLACE FOR THIS MAN IS
BLOODY TOWER OF LONDON
and throw away the key

This poisonous despicable wretch
This treasonous filth

He is selling us down the river

JUDAS

GET HIM OUT NOW

NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Posted by: Atory

I really fucking hate the Daily Express and need to vent.

Blair really needs to stop posting drunk.

THE MOST DANGEROUS MAN
IN BRITAIN IS BROWN!!!!!

lol racist

That fucking article has really put a dent on my lovely sunny day.I mean what the fuck do they want? "Foreign" people beaten up in the street and then deported in fucking cages? Will that make them happy?

I think you knows the answer to that one.

it could be worse, they could have a feature on people who don't know how to use a knife and fork properly

DEPORT THEM TOO

That fucking article has really put a dent on my lovely sunny day.I mean what the fuck do they want? "Foreign" people beaten up in the street and then deported in fucking cages? Will that make them happy?

all atory asks for is for our leader to stop selling us down the river for pieces of silver.. is that too much to ask?

i blame Dr Josef Venglos, Sven, Ossie Ardilles and Ricky Villa for the state of the country today. in that order.

lol enoch powell avatar

roberto, that's a stupid list.

you left out wenger

A migrant arrested every 4 minutes in UK

Come on man, leave him alone for a while.

http://www.bfi.org.uk/sightandsound/images/issue/420/80s-alt-comedy_420.jpg

NedTRifle why do you read Daily Express??

I'm stupid.

Daily Express investigation today

the idea of the express actually investigating anything at all is ludicrous

that said, its kind of surprising to see with what is almost actual fire in its belly. it has long seemed strangely detached, as though it doesn't believe what it espouses. this is because it doesn't really say anything, its never an opinion leader in the way, say, the mail is. far more than any other paper the express is for people who aren't very bright

Of course they haven't investigated really this - they've just reported whatever shit the Police federation have fed them. This is part of their (PF's) campaign to get more money.

Of course they haven't investigated really this
Of course they haven't really investigated this.

I know, its just somehow funnier when the express pretends its investigated something

Old people.

is the express where mail readers go to die?

my grandparents read the express, i wish they didn't :(

I keep noticing the headlines of this paper, it seems ...worse than the others? Worse as in more hysterical, more into making its readers afraid that (they) are taking their liberties etc away. Worse as in stupider, also. EUROCRATS TO CONTROL BRITAIN'S BORDERS. IMMIGRANT BABY BOOM COSTS 1BN. OUTCRY AS POLICE LETS OFF 4,256 CRIMINALS. These three from last week (I just looked at their website) I guess they either make this stuff up, or if you found the actual story the headline was based upon, it would bear little resemblance to what was on the Express' front page? It's pretty sad.

The best bit are the "Cancer Cured by Eating 15000 Organic Apricot Seeds A Day" front pages that crop up all the time.

Football fever after the England team qualified for the World Cup finals in South Africa will give the economy a multi-billion pound boost.

The feel-good factor that began with the final whistle sounding on the team’s 5-1 thrashing of Croatia on Wednesday
night is set to continue through to the finals next June.

As well as numbers of Englishmen descending on South Africa on a scale not witnessed since the Boer War, according to one official, millions more at home will forget the recession and enjoy the World Cup party to the full.

Even toilet seats bearing the St George cross could be snapped up.

millions more at home will forget the recession

I think this has already happened.

Pash I think part of that is that the Express is owned by an absolute raving nutter. Anyone know if he's still wanted by the New York mafia?

You'd hope that the recession would be over by the World Cup, but hey.

http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/257x330front/2009-12-15.jpg

http://www.dailyexpress.co.uk/posts/view/146138

Based on a report by the European Foundation, otherwise known as Tory MP Bill "Stash The" Cash and John Laughland, best mate of Slobodan Milosevic.

Every single one of those reasons is just plain wacky.

89) It is a myth that CO2 is a pollutant, because nitrogen forms 80% of our atmosphere and human beings could not live in 100% nitrogen either: CO2 is no more a pollutant than nitrogen is and CO2 is essential to life.

Okay, so 80% CO2 wouldn't be a problem?

Describing that as "wacky" is being kind, very kind

Based on a report by the European Foundation, otherwise known as Tory MP Bill "Stash The" Cash and John Laughland, best mate of Slobodan Milosevic.

Thatcher is the Patron of this mob too, but I thought she was an early champion of the emerging climate change consensus, cos it was a handy tool for beating the miners down with. Maybe just a flag of convenience back then though.

think they gave up caring about that sort of thing with his grandfather tbh

was James Hewitt's dad a wrong'un then?

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Mar/Week2/16185139.jpg

GERMAN AUTOCRAT MAKES LIGHT OF OUR BRAVE BOYS' BRAVE SACRIFICE

Kate and the Queen? Not the Queen and Kate?

The coverage had Kate chatting to crowds and press/TV filming her, the camera panning over to The Queen giving an "I don't have to be here, really, do I?" stance.

oh, ok then - congrats on the Jubilee, Kate!

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Mar/Week2/16185830.jpg

The McCann’s Portuguese lawyer Rogerio Alves described the review as a “very positive sign”.

He said: “More than anything Kate and Gerry want to discover what happened to their daughter, whilst of course harbouring the hope of finding her alive.

can't help thinking that if they'd taken this much interest in the whereabouts of their daughter in May 2007 then

ah, you're a daily mail reader then

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Mar/Week2/16187463.jpg vs http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Mar/Week2/16187483.jpg

why won't these tedious tabloids respect the law for once?

I look forward to seeing these front pages every day but I worry that I'll condition myself to like the thing on sight and end up buying it.

Götterdämned, zey are on to us!

http://images.dailyexpress.co.uk/img/covers/257x330front/2012-05-04.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/11/Berlin_Regency_Geffen.JPG

Kate and Wills' 1st anniversary treat: that's not FRENCH champagne, is it?

At present, the two senior EU bureaucrats, Mr Barroso and Mr Van Rompuy, are locked in a bitter power struggle to determine who is the true big cheese or “grand fromage” in Europe.

"groot kaas"

http://www.express.co.uk/posts/view/321682/Red-hot-summer-to-break-records

Jonathan Powell of Positive Weather Solutions is back but with a different name! Same old extremist crap.

And as for the forecasts...

http://www.vantageweatherservices.co.uk/

JUBILEE CELEBRATIONS

Overall the Jubilee weekend will witness most parts of the UK within an air-mass that will be warmer than anything we have experienced since March. Central and eastern regions appear likely to benefit from temperatures often in excess of 20C; cloud amounts look set however to be variable and a threat of thunderstorms especially in parts of England cannot be excluded. Further west there is greater chance of cloudier and possibly wetter conditions, with more depressed temperatures, as weather fronts seek to affect south-west England, Wales, North-west England, western Scotland and Northern Ireland.

Temperature often about 20C in June! Wetter in the west! Variable cloud cover! How do they know?

Jonathan Powell, forecaster with Vantage Weather Services, said summer would see “spikes” of extreme hot weather. He said: “There are going to be some very hot periods of weather as summer kicks in. These will be tempered by some periods of cooler weather"

The man was clearly born with a gift.

he's gonna look like a right clown when the temperature remains exactly the same over the entire summer.

Interesting bit in 'About' section of the Vantage Weather Services website:

Vantage Weather Services has tighter controls on who actually has access to the login details of the site for its updates, maintenance, and appearance.

COLDEST WINTER IN 100 YEARS ON WAY

BRITAIN will grind to a halt within weeks as the most savage freeze for a century begins.

Temperatures will fall as low as minus 20C in rural areas, forecasters warned last night, while heavy snow and “potentially dangerous” blizzards will close roads and cripple rail networks.

James Madden, forecaster for Exacta Weather, said: “We are looking at some of the coldest and snowiest conditions in at least 100 years. This is most likely to occur in the December to January period with the potential for widespread major snowfall across the country.

No meteorological or climate models have been used in the production of the following long-range weather forecasts. All forecasts are produced on a number of personal observations and calculations, that also include; solar activity, ocean behaviour, and historical weather patterns from my own unique collective data.

http://www.exactaweather.com/Accuracy.html

putting the "mad" in "Madden" since 2010

Winter most likely to occur between December and January. Film at 11.

Express isn't alone in using them.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/jan/02/sleighbell-winter-climate-change-denial

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BAHnyLfCMAEUXCU.jpg

Kill me now.

woo hoo benefit party time! I'm going to go mad on my £52 weekly jobseekers allowance! No food for the kids this week, but what can you do!

I like the side-order of climate change denial with that front page too...

met office, who are these charlatans?

So according to the Mail: you can be a 'benefit skiver' even if you're employed in a low income job, and an increase in something that isn't as large as the most pessimistic prediction is somehow evidence of that something 'slowing down'.

It was the same in the Sunday Times this weekend. "Strivers vs Skivers" and "This Is The Year We Crack Welfare".

"Skivers" seems to be based on receiving more in benefits than you give in tax.

There's a legit question to be asked about whether the government should effectively be subsidising employers that refuse to pay living wages but zero talk about increasing the minimum wage at the moment. What are the "skivers" in full-time work meant to do about it?

Or indeed (by that formulation) "skiving" pensioners?

You mean "scrounging" pensioners?

I believe "mewling cash leaches" is the correct term.

silver scroungers

Sadly the it would be against the Express' commercial interests to point out that the majority of social security spending goes to pensioners a.k.a. mewling cash leeches, silver scroungers etc.

Surprise Surprise... Global warming has stalled, admits Met Office

MCforUKIP
12:00pm on Wednesday, 9th January 2013
Report This Comment

It never existed in the first place. Most of the people of this country knew that but our government and Brussels wanted more cash so invented it. It's called taxing the air that we breath.

UKIP are the party to vote for, as they do not believe this myth.

THE COMMON SENSE PARTY>

SUPPORT UKIP

(xp) ditto Tory Party... and all the other parties too

the point being, I suppose, that pensioners actually bother to vote.

Next up, the Cold War never existed...

I know most hacks are just following orders wrt the poor-bashing but i wonder how much of an influence this has:

Journalists and broadcasters born in 1958 typically grew up in families where income was only 5.5% above average, against 42.4% above average for those born in 1970. That is the most dramatic example of a pattern evident across nearly all professions

(from The Guardian on Tuesday)

holy fuck

http://media.skynews.com/media/images/generated/2013/5/8/236858/default/v2/express-1-329x437.jpg

also ten times better more racist and xenophobic than the Daily Mail!

http://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/covers/287x361front/2014-09-04.jpg

automatically assumed this was a story on policing methods at demonstrations when i first saw it

STOLEN PLANES COULD BE USED FOR 9/11 STYLE TERROR ATTACKS

well, duh.

Read that article earlier. Love the implication that kettles and hairdryers are in some way unique to the British Way Of Life.

Nice that Cameron Diaz got the name of her new film into an unrelated situation.

I love a "NOW..." headline.