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Fast food abomination or the future of eating? Is there nothing newer?

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 30 October 2003 21:51 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.quartzcity.net/albums/2003lasvegas/IMG_0579.sized.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 30 October 2003 21:52 (twenty-one years ago)

DISFUCKINGGUSTING.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 30 October 2003 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

And WTF is up with these alternative pipe products? Salmonpipe?

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 30 October 2003 21:59 (twenty-one years ago)

thanks. this needed its own thread. now we can run this meme into the ground properly.

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

'just a saussie in a bun, innit?

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: salmonpipe vs. clam jerky

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Dear God, you mean the burgerpipe is REAL? Are you allowed to have an ambulance standing by, as well?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

kinda curious about the "cocktail-size" burgerpipe

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Ex-flatmate's grandmother was always coming up with "inventions"... one of the ideas was to produce packages of pre-formed burger patties with chunks of hot dog inside em, promptly dubbed "THE FRANKENBURGER" round the dinner table

― Tracer Hand (tracerhand), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:03 (twenty-one years ago)

chickenbearpipe

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:05 (twenty-one years ago)

what's so bad about this?

i mean, the name obviously. but it's no worse than a hot dog, if you think about it.

― Dean Gulberry (deangulberry), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

i killed a thread earlier in the year when i brought up the beloved burgerpipe. i do not blame the burgerpipe. i blame myself. i need to try one next time i am in vegas, as i had just chowed on food before coming across the burgerpipe.

xpost :isnt it beef shaped into a sausage?

― kephm, Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

The burgerpipe gauntlet has been thrown down. How will the convenience store fast food competitors respond to the pipe food juggernaut?

The answer: mac and cheese on a stick

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:09 (twenty-one years ago)

egg on a stick?

― kephm, Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

Cold mac and cheese pushed through a tube? Where's the Pepto?

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

baconburgerdog

― cinniblount (James Blount), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Blount has gotten in touch with his inner Coz

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 30 October 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Unable to believe that such a disgusting lookingproduct could possibly exist, I mosied over to Burgerpipe.com...

I'm a total convert. Healthy, Nutritious, able to be eaten with just one hand - It's going to revolutionise the rendered and mechanically recovered meat industry. Only 21g if Fat per Pipe! Compare that to McD's 24g. I rest my case. Sign me up, I'm going to open a franchise in Clacton.

― Anthony Shelmerdine, Friday, 31 October 2003 02:04 (twenty-one years ago)

I feel ill.

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 31 October 2003 02:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Kind of gross, but the opposite - a hotdog in burger format, is a far, far more frightening prospect.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 31 October 2003 02:35 (twenty-one years ago)

aw, they're just ripping off the cheeseburger big bite.

http://www.7-eleven.com/images/assets/711_chburgerbite_d.jpg

― maura (maura), Friday, 31 October 2003 02:49 (twenty-one years ago)

If you feel ill at the Burgerpipe, may I point the honourable readers of ilx to the menu choices for children at the Harrisonburg City Public Schools in the US.

Of particularily tasty note are;

'The Meatball Sub'
http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/mball-sub.jpg
'The Rib-b-Q'

http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/rib-b-q.jpg

'Chicken Fryz'

http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/chick-fryz.jpg

'Corn Dog Nuggets'

http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/corn-dog-nuggets.jpg

and the euphamistically entitled 'Deli Hogie'
http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/deli-hoagie.jpg.

But the award for most brazen mis-labelling must surely go to the 'Italian Dunkers'
http://www.harrisonburg.k12.va.us/water/2-lunches/italian-dunkers.jpg

If I'm not very much mistaken, I believe they are half toasted soldiers of Mothers Pride and ketchup.

― Anthony Shelmerdine, Friday, 31 October 2003 02:57 (twenty-one years ago)

The meatball sub looks more like an autopsy photo than a lunch.

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:07 (twenty-one years ago)

Tasty though, all the major food groups represeted; fat, carbohydrate and msg

― Anthony Shelmerdine (MrOrangeSpangle), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i was thinking something not too dissimilar

food cosmetologists to that company STAT

(xp)

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

i imagine my mouth will look like that meatball sub if i don't go to the dentist soon

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:18 (twenty-one years ago)

god, even the cookie looks bad in that "italian dunkers" pic

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:20 (twenty-one years ago)

along with the little container of smoker's teeth to the left

― the surface noise (electricsound), Friday, 31 October 2003 03:21 (twenty-one years ago)

re the Cheeseburger Big Bite web page:

"Fresh from the 7-Eleven grill..."

TS: Fresh from the 7-Eleven grill VS Fresh from Admiral Akhbar's colon.

― Vonda Shepard, Friday, 31 October 2003 03:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Sorry, "Akbar" not "Akhbar"

― Vonda Shepard, Friday, 31 October 2003 04:02 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a trap!

― gygax! (gygax!), Friday, 31 October 2003 04:09 (twenty-one years ago)

DUDE. OK OK, CHECK THIS OUT...

"BURGERBONG"

FUCKING A, BRAH

― donut bitch (donut), Friday, 31 October 2003 04:13 (twenty-one years ago)

Get on AIM, you crazy mang.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 31 October 2003 04:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.burgerpipe.com/index2.html

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Friday, 31 October 2003 05:05 (twenty-one years ago)

TS: Fresh from the 7-Eleven grill VS Fresh from Admiral Akhbar's colon.
I'll answer that as soon as someone explains how these two things differ.

― Lord Custos Omicron (Lord Custos Omicron), Friday, 31 October 2003 05:32 (twenty-one years ago)

one is squid-like, the other is squid guts.

presumably.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 06:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.burgerpipe.com/images/salmonpipes.gif

Alright, line up, you's. Who wants some Jumbo Salmonpipe stuffed into their mouf?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Friday, 31 October 2003 06:13 (twenty-one years ago)

How about a hot TripePipe(tm), could be a worker?

― Anthony Shelmerdine (MrOrangeSpangle), Friday, 31 October 2003 06:27 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.rogerschwendeman.com/Shared%20Images/Hotdog.jpg

― Anthony Shelmerdine (MrOrangeSpangle), Friday, 31 October 2003 06:37 (twenty-one years ago)

They are burgers, only stretched, is that correct?

― colin s barrow (colin s barrow), Friday, 31 October 2003 09:02 (twenty-one years ago)

Wait 'til the hippies get a hold of this concept...

*fade in: Phish lot*

"Hungry? I got tofurkeypipes! Lentilpipes! Three bucks! Two for five!"

"Dude...can I like, smoke weed out of those things?"

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 14:30 (twenty-one years ago)

The *name* is what's giving me goosebumps. Um, burgerpipe/penis? You may as well walk up to the person behind the counter and say, "I'd like to order one dong on a roll, please."

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Friday, 31 October 2003 14:34 (twenty-one years ago)

I've seen something similiar to this meatpipe at the gas station I go to in the morning to get gas. Except is actually looks like a turd thats been spinning around on that spinner thing for 25 years. I can't imagine anyone buying the turd.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Friday, 31 October 2003 14:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Oh my god I just looked at the mac-n-cheese-on-a-stick and am seriously rethinking my pro-anything-on-a-stick platform.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:04 (twenty-one years ago)

"Size - - - - - Dimensions - - - - - - - - - - - Pieces per pound

Jumbo - - - - 7 in. long x 1.375 in. diameter - - - 4
Large - - - - 6 in. long x 1.250 in. diameter - - - 5
Regular - - - 6 in. long x 1.000 in. diameter - - - 6
Kid-Sized - - 4 in. long x 1.000 in. diameter - - - 8
Cocktail - - -1 in. long x 0.750 in. diameter - - - 32"

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:12 (twenty-one years ago)

I'm suprised no-one's yet commented on the genius-named Rib-B-Que

― Chuck Tatum (Chuck Tatum), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

Sure was nice of Anthony Shelmerdine to show us what it was that tubgirl ate.

― Bryan (Bryan), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:23 (twenty-one years ago)

Didn't Homer Simpson overdose on Rib-B-Qs once in a Requiem for a Dream stylee?

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 31 October 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 18 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

It's like Satan's hot steaming piss was bottled and sold, after being mixed with vinegar and caustic acids.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 20 November 2003 06:16 (twenty-one years ago)

three weeks pass...

Ladies and gentlemen, presenting OCTODOG!

http://octodog.net/images/how_it_works_images/swao_page2_v2.gif

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Saturday, 13 December 2003 09:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://octodog.net/images/how_it_works_images/step5_v2.gif

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Saturday, 13 December 2003 09:19 (twenty-one years ago)

jesus fuck¡

ever get those little rubber-y octopus things as a kid - the ones you threw against the wall and they were suppost to "crawl" down but it never quite worked. and after having some grubby kid chucking it around all week it would get little black blobs of philth stuck on it.
i would rather eat that.

― dyson (dyson), Saturday, 13 December 2003 09:35 (twenty-one years ago)

a little dish detergent usually took care of that.

― El Santo Claus (Kingfish), Saturday, 13 December 2003 14:38 (twenty-one years ago)

~~OH. MY. GOD.~~ Great Cthulhu!

― bad jode (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 13 December 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

!!!

― donut bitch (donut), Saturday, 13 December 2003 20:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i am speechless.

― todd swiss (eliti), Saturday, 13 December 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

It's like Mr. Octo from PowerPuff Girls gone horribly wrong...

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Saturday, 13 December 2003 23:30 (twenty-one years ago)

it reminds me of Zoidberg

― the surface noise (electricsound), Sunday, 14 December 2003 09:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Damn, I'm so hungry. Seriously, I could really go for some Burgerpipe right about now.

― Dan I. (Dan I.), Sunday, 14 December 2003 10:06 (twenty-one years ago)

one year passes...

remember when everyone was crazy about burgerpipe?

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 18 March 2005 03:32 (twenty years ago)

hey wow look at those gas prices!

― teeny (teeny), Friday, 18 March 2005 03:33 (twenty years ago)

hahaha *sob*

― tokyo rosemary (rosemary), Friday, 18 March 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

i do remember that.

― sexy waitress connie stevens (Jody Beth Rosen), Friday, 18 March 2005 03:53 (twenty years ago)

i remember those octo-sticky-things dyson. wtf were they called? they're now number two on my list after those big red inflatable balls that kids would bounce on. they had a little devil face and horns you hung onto. what were those?

― Kim (Kim), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:06 (twenty years ago)

I still dont get Burgerpipe though. How is it different to a sausage, as I said upthread? ITS A SAUSAGE OMG TEH FUTARR!

― Trayce (trayce), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:25 (twenty years ago)

no a sausage is a sausage, this is a burger - pipe. burgerpipe!

― j blount (papa la bas), Friday, 18 March 2005 04:28 (twenty years ago)

y'all are missing the REALLY IMPORTANT foodstuff-product on this thread ... the bottles of TURKEY GRAVY SODA ... yeah.

― Eisbär (llamasfur), Friday, 18 March 2005 06:00 (twenty years ago)

God, I miss gas at a buck 59.

― jim wentworth (wench), Friday, 18 March 2005 06:06 (twenty years ago)

i had a burger shaped sausage the other day. burgerpipe is the vice versa.

― shine headlights on me (electricsound), Friday, 18 March 2005 06:07 (twenty years ago)

OCTODOG OCTODOG OCTODOG OCTODOG OCTODOG

― Remy (null) (x Jeremy), Friday, 18 March 2005 08:14 (twenty years ago)

remember those octo-sticky-things dyson. wtf were they called?

They're called Wall Walkers, and Google tells me you can still get newer versions of them.

― nickn (nickn), Friday, 18 March 2005 21:26 (twenty years ago)

I still dont get Burgerpipe though. How is it different to a sausage, as I said upthread?

A Burgerpipe looks much more like a grilled log of shit than your typical sausage does.

― Lingbertt, Saturday, 19 March 2005 00:39 (twenty years ago)

The moral of the story: AVOID GAS STATION FOOD AT ALL COSTS.

And is there any sort of fundamental improvement vis a vis burger reshapement that makes the cylindrical (or "pipe") format more efficient than the traditional round and flat?

― Stupornaut (natepatrin), Saturday, 19 March 2005 00:49 (twenty years ago)

I'm still waiting for BURGERBONG to take off.

― donut debonair (donut), Saturday, 19 March 2005 01:05 (twenty years ago)

http://www.tpub.com/maa/12740_files/image120.jpg

― latebloomer: damn cheapskate satanists (latebloomer), Saturday, 19 March 2005 01:11 (twenty years ago)

insight on pipes used for burgerpipe : www.theyesmen.org/hamburger/

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Saturday, 19 March 2005 01:27 (twenty years ago)

six months pass...

Revive!

Burgerpipes are now chemical and MSG free!

Not sure about that "Gourmet Griller" name though.

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 19 September 2005 18:01 (nineteen years ago)

what is wrong with a burgerpipe? sounds good to me.

― AaronK (AaronK), Monday, 19 September 2005 18:22 (nineteen years ago)

cos it sounds disgusting for starters,

"yeah, this weekend, she finally let me fuck her in the burgerpipe"

yuck

― JD from CDepot, Monday, 19 September 2005 18:27 (nineteen years ago)

in related news: the octodog is still DISGUSTING.

http://gallery.whitelands.com/files/small/photo16409.jpg

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 19 September 2005 18:28 (nineteen years ago)

stiff competition for the burgerpipe juggernaut: the burrizza!

― s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 19 September 2005 19:12 (nineteen years ago)

unusually subtle use of flash in steaming pipeage pic

― dan (dan), Monday, 19 September 2005 19:36 (nineteen years ago)

Ned's reaction to that fisrt picture is still one of the greatest things ever.

― The Ghost of Black Elegance (Dan Perry), Monday, 19 September 2005 19:40 (nineteen years ago)

two years pass...

DISFUCKINGGUSTING.
-- Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, October 30, 2003 4:57 PM (4 years ago) Bookmark Link

― Eisbaer, Friday, 18 July 2008 18:15 (sixteen years ago)

burgerpipe.com is down, this thread is the first search result on G00gle. I imagine that it looks the same coming out as it does going in. And fuck that "octodog" shit, I hate people who play with their food. Especially people who make a plate of sausage, mash potato, and peas into a big smiley face. Just stop dicking with your food and eat it already!!!

― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 18:32 (sixteen years ago)

I do like how almost all images/links on this thread are dead - makes it more mysterious, leaves it up to your imagination.

― dowd, Friday, 18 July 2008 18:35 (sixteen years ago)

From what I can gather, it's a burger in the shape of a hot dog. But this is where it starts to get hazy, and, I daresay, a little shady. Because what happens next I think is that the burger meat is piled into a hopper inside a vending machine, and then a punter puts in their money, presses a button, and the burger meat is piped through a tube whilst being heated. Hence the name "burgerpipe". The cooked meat is then mechanically placed in a bun, slathered with condiments, and delivered to the punter via a chute mechanism. Of course, I could be wrong about all of that.

― snoball, Friday, 18 July 2008 19:16 (sixteen years ago)

two years pass...

And then there's

http://blogs.ocweekly.com/stickaforkinit/wtfburger1.jpg

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 15 November 2010 18:14 (fourteen years ago)

It's like some sick wedding cake.

― Stop Non-Erotic Cabaret (Abbbottt), Monday, 15 November 2010 18:27 (fourteen years ago)

It's very OC

― Ned Raggett, Monday, 15 November 2010 18:50 (fourteen years ago)

thats like a burger icebox.

― Str8 Drapin It (chrisv2010), Monday, 15 November 2010 18:53 (fourteen years ago)

two years pass...

http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2286/1848175070_cdbe4611c2.jpg

― Elvis Telecom, Tuesday, 7 May 2013 08:54 (twelve years ago)

BURGERPIPE!
Kidnap that fool!
BURGERPIPE!
Breakdance like a tool!
Mustard mustard WHAT?!
Ketchup ketchup WHAT?!

― Camp Macaroni Style (snoball), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:19 (twelve years ago)

otm

― controversial vegan pregnancy (contenderizer), Tuesday, 7 May 2013 12:38 (twelve years ago)

one year passes...

trader joe's sells chicken parmigiana lollipops, which as a concept isn't any more or less gross than the burgerpipe. i've had them... they have a certain perverse appeal tbh.

― syro gyra (get bent), Thursday, 9 October 2014 08:33 (ten years ago)

this is where burgerpipe.com redirects:

http://www.fivehundybymidnight.com/fhbm/

― syro gyra (get bent), Thursday, 9 October 2014 08:35 (ten years ago)

Cool podcast for folks who visit Vegas repeatedly like it's Disneyland. I called in a couple times back in the double-digited episode years.

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 9 October 2014 09:30 (ten years ago)

So annoyed I can't fix autocorrecting nonsense on ILX like I can in other social media.

― Elvis Telecom, Thursday, 9 October 2014 09:31 (ten years ago)

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Burgerpipe - The Burger Of The Future Is Here Now!

!!!