scoring a petty victory over motor-assholism, c/d?

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he: Hi! You don't know me, but you've learned one thing about me already! Yes! I'm a total fucktard!! Still, they gave me a driver's license. Now I know this is a narrow twisty country road, and it's wet, and there are lots of cars coming the other way, but still, I'd like you to drive dangerously fast, just like I want to, and seeing as how you won't do that, I'm going to tailgate you, and turn my main headlamp beams on!! Haha, eat that, fux0r!! There's nothing you can do about it!!
Me: Oh well, I'd better tip my rear view mirror out of the way so I don't get dazzled, and if I'm going to get rear-ended, I suppose it would be best if it wasn't at high speed, so, let's say, 15-20mph? For the next 7 miles 'till we reach that town? WTF, I'm not in that much of a hurry anyway...yadda yadda yadda

(sigh) I think I must be getting old & crotchety or something.

― Pashmina (Pashmina), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:40 (twenty-two years ago)

CLASSIC.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:43 (twenty-two years ago)

Mistakes and regrets

― nate detritus (natedetritus), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:45 (twenty-two years ago)

since I've quit smoking, I've had to learn new ways to deal with my anger issues. Mostly those ways are yelling and screaming.
Yesterday I was on my way home from the grocery store. I was wearing a bright blue windbreaker and had both arms full of big white grocery bags. As I waited for traffic to let up at the crosswalk (where I had the legal right of way, like that means anything) cars in the southbound lanes yielded to me. So did the northbound lanes, except one. AFTER I had crossed the median, a northbound car came hurdling though the intersection. I had to stop in the middle of the road to let it pass, but as it did, I leaned right down to the driver's side window level, held my clenched, grocery-clutching fists forward, and screamed "FUUUUUUUUCK YOU!"

It felt so awesome.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:46 (twenty-two years ago)

you should've just darted out infront of him. that would tech him a lesson.

― dyson (dyson), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:48 (twenty-two years ago)

(Nate has showed me the brilliance of dong resin and I am forever henceforth a convert.)

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:51 (twenty-two years ago)

We don't have enough one-lane roads around here to have fun by slowing down for assholes. The only option is finding a little old person driving fifteen below the speed limit, and getting in next to them so you can close off both lanes.

― miloauckerman (miloauckerman), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:54 (twenty-two years ago)

I will now spend the next hour attempting to scrub the phrase "the brilliance of dong resin" out of my skull.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:57 (twenty-two years ago)

Riding bicycle. Asshole pulls into bicycle lane, turning right. I slam into him and fall down; he says to me "why don't you watch where you're going?". I yell "THIS IS MY LANE THAT'S WHY IT'S GOT THE LITTLE PICTURES OF THE BICYCLE PAINTED ON IT YOU STUPID FUCK!" but he's already gone. I catch him at the intersection at the next block. I kick his fucking Mercedez door with my steel toed boot. It dents his shit bad. I smile all the way home.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:58 (twenty-two years ago)

(x-post)

and how it relates to slowing down for assholes

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Friday, 31 October 2003 19:59 (twenty-two years ago)

I must try this but instead drive into the side of cars who block yellow box junctions. In fact I must try this with people who high beam or use their fog lights without fog around.

You should also try flashing your rear fog light

― Ed (dali), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:04 (twenty-two years ago)

Horace I know what you mean, a few weeks ago I was pulling out at the supermarket and I stopped to let a whole load of people pass at a crossing point, anyway I eventually said I'd pull out cos there was a constant stream of people, and as I did some guy who had stopped said "shithead" or something, so I reversed and screamed at him in a similar manner to the way you describe.

What an asshole, I let so many people cross and I didn't have to stop at all really.

― Ronan (Ronan), Friday, 31 October 2003 20:10 (twenty-two years ago)

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