Ask Alex in NYC!

Why do you keep insisting a certain Columbia student looks exactly like a harlequin when she doesn't wear white face paint or a harlequin outfit?

Sincerely,
Definitely not the person I'm asking about at all

Who would win in a fight between the kids from fame and killing joke?

- Strongo

What would your first reaction be if someone called you "broheems" in the middle of a conversation?

Sincerely, DJP

Do you think my dad should get a robotic arm? It is imperitive I receive an answer soon.

Thank you,
A. Kearney Esq.

First response: if you have to ask, you'll never know.
Second response: remove thy head from the great feeding trough where the rest of your zombified brethren lap up the slops fed to them by the illuminati. Laugh at your peril.

How many parody threads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I fear we're just getting warmed up.

Why do you keep insisting a certain Columbia student looks exactly like a harlequin when she doesn't wear white face paint or a harlequin outfit?

It's not my fault you can't see the resemblance.

Who would win in a fight between the kids from fame and killing joke?

Killing Joke.

What would your first reaction be if someone called you "broheems" in the middle of a conversation?

Contort my face into an expression of bewilderment.....and then set them on fire.

Do you think my dad should get a robotic arm?

Does he plan to use it to aid mankind or to perpetrate evil?

When are you going to show up to another NYC FAP already? They're named after you, dude, wtf?!

Sincerely, M Matos

When I find a way to effectively clone myself.

Define "evil"?

Come now, Ally. Of all people on this list, surely `tis yourself that is most familiar with evil!

Who would win in a fight between the Misfits and the Misfits from Jem?

- Strongo

will you come to my NYC fap on nov 15 instead of going to #&*$(&# white stripes in providence?

sincerely,

g-money

Should I go see Killing Joke in Chicago on Saturday?

ANd if I do, am I supposed to shout "honour the fire" at them or something like that? Is that what people do at Killing Joke gigs (I've never seen them)?

Should I tell them ALex in NYC says "Hi"?

These days? the Misfits from Jem.

will you come to my NYC fap on nov 15 instead of going to #&*$(? white stripes in providence?

So many social engagements, so little time.

Should I go see Killing Joke in Chicago on Saturday?

You have to ask?

ANd if I do, am I supposed to shout "honour the fire" at them or something like that? Is that what people do at Killing Joke gigs (I've never seen them)?

You don't have to, but if you do...expect to be accosted by the Gathering.

Should I tell them ALex in NYC says "Hi"?

Absolutely. Well, Raven will know the name. And Ted might.

For serious is it ok if we stop by your work tonight? I'll bring whatever candy you like best.

Sincerely
Ally

Thanky, Ally, but I doubt it'd be fun for you.You'd also be stranded in midtown afterwards, which I wouldn't wish on anyone.

Do you hate all of us NYC ILXors? You do not see us anymore? :(

Love,
Sad Ally

I don't hate any NYC ILXors, and I'll get out to another FAP.....when you least expect it!!!

Don't be sad

Killing Joke is playing in Portland soon. There are posters all over town. They make me think of you. Sometimes the posters are ripped. Will you play "Always And Forever" and dedicate it to Ally to Horace?

Thanks,

Upper East Sad.

I think the new Killing Joke album is tremendous, but I'm still nagged by the notion that if KJ had packed it in and called it a day after what's THIS for...!, they'd have cemented a near-perfect legacy. Ha! has great cover art, as did the Firedances 12", but things got pretty sketchy for a while there. Are you sympathetic to the "they could have been one of history's perfect bands" notion, or do you feel their later output equals or betters the impossible fury of those first two records?

Do I have anything to fear from you? Because I feel at times that if I just say one more wrong thing, you would personally fly down to TX and incinerate me.

Thanks!

"I Don't Want To Fry" Girl

Which of us is more likely to show up at an NYC FAP?

y'all know who

Killing Joke are prevented from membership in the pantheon of perfect bands not because of Revelations, Fire Dances and Night Time, but because of their abortive attempt at success that manifested itself in Brighter Than A Thousand Suns (a fine album, but a jarring departure from their signature style) and the truly disastrous Outside the Gate (simply a ham-fisted mess). Extremities was a brilliant return to form, but it was too late. The damage had been done. That said, they're still incomparably great...but yes, ultimately flawed.

Do I have anything to fear from you?

I'm not going to dignify this with a proper response.

Which of us is more likely to show up at an NYC FAP?

I don't know.

Alex, where can i buy a mullet wig in NYC, the cheaper the better?

Probably at that Halloween megastore on 4th Avenue just south of 12th street.

Uh-oh. This sounds ominous.

*holds breath, faints straight away*

REVIVE

I'm only reviving this because Sean Carruthers was heckaswell enough to replace the photo with a better one, bless'im!

How should I get my hair cut tomorrow?

Love,
Ally in NYC

Get a `hawk.

will John Street be re-elected mayor of Philly? or will that putz Sam Katz win?

If you live in Philly, you life will continue to suck either way.

For which social occasions is it correct to use the one-handed devil's horns as shown in your photo, and which require the double handed devils horns manouvere?

It's always the right time to throw the goats. Double-goat throwing is necessary only when displaying zealous approval.

will the Jets win another game this year?

Who are they?

As handily demonstrated by Killing Joke roadie par excellence, Cliff from Alaska....

http://members.aol.com/motelhell/KJ-Webster-Hall-2003/images/Cliff.jpg

http://secure1.nexternal.com/tshirtstha/images/bitches1.jpg

What are your thoughts on Mayor Bloomberg's proposition in tomorrow's election to change the NYC charter so mayoral elections will be non-partisan?

What should be done to the idiot arsonists who are caught setting fires in CA? Is drawing and quartering them too bloodthirsty?

Sincerely,

Tired of Hacking Through the L.A. Haze

Well, it made me laugh, but suffice it to say, it may not be right for ever occaission. Wear with caution.

What are your thoughts on Mayor Bloomberg's proposition in tomorrow's election to change the NYC charter so mayoral elections will be non-partisan?

While I applaud the somewhat Utopian notion of non-partisan elections, I find Mayor Bloomberg so abjectly reprehensible that I'm often reduced to spiteful contrarian tactics when it comes to his proposed legislation (i.e. I almost took up smoking just to defy him). Fuck him and the syphillitic llama he waddled in on.

What should be done to the idiot arsonists who are caught setting fires in CA? Is drawing and quartering them too bloodthirsty?

Ah, now here's a question you can sink your fangs into. While I might mistakenly be considered one who's all for setting fires, this is obviously inexecusable behavior (some might say 'inarguably so', sorry...in-joke from another thread). I think the individual(s) responsible should be bound, gagged, and have to answer to each family whose home was torched for a period of at least one half hour behind a closed steel door. What happens behind that closed door is no one else's business. The only stipulation being that they have to be kept alive.

If Killing Joke were a girl band, who would they be, and do you have their number?

Thanks!
Ian in Brooklyn

If, in her teenage years, your daughter wanted to form a Killing Joke tribute band would you be all for it?

Thanks,
Youn

If Killing Joke were a girl band....they probably wouldn't be very pretty. It doesn't matter, though. Apocalypse will come for you and vanquish your home regardless of what 's down your trousers.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

I find the concept of my daughter thinking Killing Joke as anything other than "boring old dadrock" entirely unlikely.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

Are you coming to London soon? If so, is it your intention to call a FAP so that London ILx has the opportunity to survey and assess you?

Kind regards

Tim

Sincerely, Sym

Got a cure for head up your ass syndrome?

Love,

Big Joe

which is the best KC and the sunshine band song?

Eisbär

Ken L

So tell us more about Charlotte's yet to be born younger sibling.

I, meanwhile, am absolutely terrified.

Now that you are a parent is honouring the fire more or less important?

Yours etc

Billy

(I am now going to brag that I passed AlexFamily in the park the other day and have now seen adorable Charlotte in person. A woman walked by in a Ramones t-shirt and she started crying.)

I think I saw you in Washington Square Park the other day. I am indeed a stalker of sorts. A word in your ear: you are interested in your (possibly forthcoming) child's *sex". Gender refers to the cultural significnece of sex (masculine / feminine). Boy, now I feel like a dork who teaches Cultural Studies. Wait! I am!

Also: would you agree that "Do it clean" (E & the BM) is better than anything KJ have ever recorded?

Honoring the fire and parenting are not mutually exclusive.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

So amazing that you spotted me (and on the Upper East Side....where I rarely tread). You completely caught me by surprise, and I don't think I introduced you to my wife etc. Apologies for that. We were on our way to what would be a very tiresome dinner. Oh well. Good spotting. I promise to be more awake next time.

Cheers,
Alex (innyc)

congrats on the next child!

now that yer gonna have 2 kids, and you live in close vicinity to washington square, does this mean that you will give up the killing joke and cop shoot cop for the washington squares and tracy chapman?

Eisbär

Oh, nothing dire. It's just that when she was pregnant with Charlotte, Peggy wasn't hit so hard with morning sickness during the first trimester. She'd get tired a lot, but that was about it. This time, she felt nauseous quite often (although vitamin B12 supplements helped out with that). Now that we're into the second trimester, however, that's behind us.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

The day I give up Killing Joke and Cop Shoot Cop is the day I stop living. And on that day, I'll be taking you with me.

Sleep well,
Ale xin NYC

one more question. will you be as tolerant of yer children's fire-honoring (or whatever music they will come to love) as yer parents were of your adolescent fire-honoring?

Eisbär

Sorry, ya got me on the whole gender/sex thing. Well, at this stage, we don't know either.

Regarding "Do It Clean," the live version from the blue e.p. (which starts out with the "You Can't Just Shoot a man in the Back" sample) comes fucking close, but NO CIGARS FOR LES HOMMES DU LAPIN!

Killing Joke Uber Alles,
Alex in NYC

this is a serious question.

do you know if you can get the "do it clean" from the blue e.p. on cd? i have tried to find it on cd, but i cannot. is it still only available on vinyl/cassette?

Eisbär

If my children end up liking music that I find insipid or distasteful or whatnot (and this will probably be the case), I'll have no problem with them listening to it, so long as I don't have to hear it too (i.e. not when Dad's home). Apart from Kiss (whom my folks had an unreasonable problem with), but folks were refreshingly not bothered by what sort of music I was listening to (I'd like to think it's because they realized that it wasn't that big a deal, but it's probably because they had bigger fish to fry that worrying about what music I was listening to).

Regarding the version of "Do It Clean" from the blue e.p.. it has LONG been a holy grail like item to me. I was very displeased to find it not on the Crystal Days box set. As far as I'm aware, it does not exist on compact disc. And that's a damn shame.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

Can we snuggle?
I promise I wont tell your wife

Thnx
ase

My other half and I are visiting NYC soon, can you tell me if there is a decent place to eat that has good views over the city skyline? Cheesy, I know..!

Best,
Mzui...

Congrats! For sure.

How old is Charlotte? as Amber was nearly exactly two years old when Alice was born, so was too young for 'jealousy' issues, and old enough to feel that the new baby was as much hers as ours. And so it has continued, they get on very well together.

Best wishes.

The management regrets to inform you that the vacany in question has been filled, and we are not soliciting any submissions at this time. We thank you for your interest.

Cordially,
Alex in NYC

Dear Mzui...
Well, there's the Rainbow Room in Rockefeller Center, but that's hecka-spensive and invariably requires reservations some time in advance. Actually, there's an Indian restaurant called....i shit you not....Nirvana on Central Park South (59th Street) that, I gather, has a nice view of the park from way up. I've never been there, however, so I can't verify that. My advice would be to pick a nice street-level restaurant and get your panoramic views before or after dinner.

Good luck,
Alex in NYC

Dear M.Coleman,...
The 2nd one a cakewalk? We'll see. Every child is different, or so they say.
Cheers,
Alex in NYC

Dear Mark,...
Charlotte will be just two when her sibling is born. I can only hope we have a similar situation to yours. I'm worried about Charlotte being freaked out by the whole thing.
Cheers,
Alex in NYC

After Motorhead, what should Vans create next that is NOT either a Killing Joke or Cop Shoot Cop shoe?

The Circle Jerks.

Cheers,
Alex in NYC

My advice, if you really need it which I suspect is unnecessary: Keep her informed, there's a baby inside Mummy, etc. Amber was always looking forward to it like it was a new dolly, and as I say was young enough not to be freaked out by it (When you're that age, everything is new and unexpected).

(Contrast: My sister never told her kid that Dawn had a baby coming, as she was sure he'd want to see it RIGHTNOW! and 'wouldn't understand'. Sorry, I'm rambling now....

REVIVING.

Do you have three albums you’ve discovered this year that you would recommend to us?

Also, hi

What's your favorite Amy Grant ballad?

I sure do, DJP.

Like many folks here, I've started thinking about "end of the year" lists, as old habits truly die hard.

In terms of full albums I've discovered this year that I would recommend, I'd suggest....

Fear by John Cale from 1974 - I completely slept on John Cale's solo stuff for far too long, and when I discovered this album, it verily knocked the wind out of my sails. Really worth your time.
Letter to Self by SPRINTS - Irish band. Don't know all that much about them, but on the strength of singles like "Heavy" and "Literary Mind," I was hooked.
Great Old Ones by Lubricated Goat - Inspired by his work in the Art Gray Noizz Quintet (SOOOOO good), I went out and picked up the discs I'd been missing by Stu "Art Gray" Spasm's previous band, Lubricated Goat, and found this record, which re-visits his previous material with a new band and beefier sound. The version of "Nerve Quake" on this record, for example, is markedly superior to the original (although the first recording of "You Remain Anonymous" still betters this newer iteration). Bonus points for featuring Jack Natz of Cop Shoot Cop on bass detail.

Also new:
The Light of Eternity (L.O.E.) EP, featuring Pauly Williams from Chaos 8, Fred Schreck of The Ancients and Big Paul Ferguson from --- WAIT FOR IT -- my beloved Killing Joke. This scratches the indefatigable itch caused by the death of Geordie.
Also only discovered Clipping. (odd Sub-Pop hip-hop trio), this year, and am quite digging a lot of it.
Be a Better Man by Lawns - I know precious little about this band, but I love certain tracks like "I Remember" on this record.

Isolated songs I heard this year that I've really dug:
"The Silence That Remains" by The Horrors - I'd kinda given up on them circa Luminous, but I cannot get enough of this track. Looking forward to the whole album.
"Ecce Homo" by Gavin Friday - sweeping return to form. Excited for whole record, later this month I believe.
"Days are Dogs" by Shellac - Rest in peace, Steve Albini. Just a great fucking songs with some amazing lyrics.
"The Shame of Life" by the Butthole Surfers - Released after I'd stopped paying attention and unlike anything they'd ever done, but oddly satisfying to me now.

What's your favorite Amy Grant ballad?

That one wherein she's ripped apart by jackals dispatched from the bowels of Hell.

oh my goodness "Ecce Homo" grabbed me immediately. Thanks!

Right?

Yeah Gavin back with the greatness

That one wherein she's ripped apart by jackals dispatched from the bowels of Hell.

Is this the “Baby Baby” remix

Alex have you ever listened to FACS? feels like a band u might dig

Alex have you ever listened to FACS? feels like a band u might dig

I have indeed and do. I'm also quite enjoying High Vis, Puzzled Panther, a band called The Thing and a great track called "Adrenaline" by the wonderfully named WE HATE YOU PLEASE DIE.

Oh man, yes to this Gavin Friday song

Favourite pub in Dublin?

Im a fan of McDaids myself

Favourite pub in Dublin?

I’d have to say that while I do love the Stag’s Head in the Temple Bar area of town, it’s a bit on the touristy side. My personal favorite was a comparatively humble joint we happened upon on Lower Baggot Street, just a few doors up from the birthplace of Francis Bacon, called Thomas Rody Maher’s or, simply, Maher’s. It’s just a cozy, unpretentious space with lots of atmosphere and elbow room. The pints of Guinness kept coming, the vibe was convivial and the music was excellent. I’d go back in a heartbeat.

do you drink martinis?

do you drink martinis?

No. I'm strictly beer and the occasional wine.