Fake Meat : S & D

when i was veggie, i've never been a fan of the faux flesh. i've always preferred to just find creative uses for real veggies. but, that said, morningstar farms faux chicken nuggets are very addictive...

Destroy: Pretty much everything else, especially those chicken- flavored tofu pieces that are shaped like little cartoons of actual chicken parts. But I'm not a vegetarian, and I've always had some weird ideological reaction to the idea that vegetarians should eat things which are in certain senses pretending to be meat. (Therefore, Jess, I salute you for avoiding this.) Had the same reaction to seeing an animal-rights activist wearing faux fur; it just sort of makes my brain start to explode because I can't conceptualize it properly.

I've liked pretty much anything that Morningstar Farms offers, and even the Red Robin restaurants are selling their burgers with Boca patties. There's a really crappy brand out there, I forget what they're called. Real nasty, like bad HS cafeteria crud.

destroy: Boca burgers, token vegetarian dishes at most restaurants

Kerry -- GRATE analogy. heh.

Maybe the MEAT! thread needs to be revitalized, no?

God I'm hungry, despite just eating two slices of toast and two hash browns.

I'd like to say that I've become rather partial to Burger Kings Spicy Beanburger. I don't think that counts as fake meat though, despite having the word "burger" in it - which fools me fair enough. It's so tasty.

I'm hungry too Chris, but I just read the meat thread and now want a salmonella sandwich (HMHB) no I mean a SOSSAGE SANDWICH ON WHITE BREAD WITH RED SAUCE.

Any other meat sub is gross but veggies can make a Bacon Sarnie emulator by making toast, spreading mayonnaise, and laying down some very ripe avocado drizzled in soy sauce. It's the bomb.

This would imply that there could be a vegetarian cuisine which was completely different from our current Western conceptions, which would be ruined by adding any meaty textures. I imagine this being something like little bean cubes rolled in granola.

Destroy: LMacN Sausages, most Quorn products, and a big pile of other shite we have to put up with.

I wish Findus Lasagne could be classifiedas fake meat, what ith being the most delicious substance known to man.

oh go on then, what is it?

search: cheatin' bacon and chicken

destroy: cheatin' chicken when it comes in a huge lump purporting to be a "roast". WHY!?!?!

also on a related rant, destroy fake soya cheese. it is foul.

Does that mean you've finally thrown out that disgusting orange block of nacho flavoured Cheatin' Cheezly that's been in the fridge forever?

search: black bean flavored veggie burgers
destroy: every fake hot dog i have ever eaten

I post this now because I fear that by tomorrow I will have much less pleasantly-expressed evidence of the above.

I just NOM NOM NOM'd 2 Quorn chix "cutlets" with BBQ sauce and it was NOM NOM NOM.

Quorn > Gardenburger.

Eat hot death, mycoprotein-hatas! Or better yet, eat Quorn!

Trader Joe's has been out of soy nuggets for like a month. :(

Although I guess that's not fake meat per se, since it's not pretending to be anything beyond nuggets made of soy.

I did have some mock duck in a Thai curry yesterday.

Also, since the last time this thread was revived, I've started to eat fish. :/

Morningstar Corndogs are the best incarnation of nature's perfect food even if they are named after the debbil.

it's ok to eat fish! they're delicious!

and, fwiw, one decadent trip to hot doug's aside, i'm trying to eat veggie

also, i had seitan at earwax for the first time and i thought it was great. a little too salty, but otherwise totally fine.

Omigod none of the words in that sentence sound likeanything remotely connected to food except maybe "salty," but that phrase can also be used to describe dogs and cranky old broads.

Quorn rules!

Indeed it does. In the last couple of years they've managed to get rid of the squeaky polystyrene texture. Still needs to be cooked carefully though.

Haha, Abbott, Earwax is the name of a cafe in Chicago that serves a lot of good veggie food.

oh haha...

cauldron glamorgan sausages suck

Visiting cat trying to steal my QUORN NUGS.

I can't believe I didn't mention Seattle FIELD ROAST GRAIN MEAT sausages. holy shit.

Apple Sage --> breakfast scrambles
Mexican Chipotle --> Mexican scrambles
Italian --> pasta/sauce additions

I use all three of these regularly. They're are the fAEK MEET BOMBDA!

http://www.fieldroast.com/

That said, Quorn products have also been high on the list too.. especially the 'Chick'N' Tenders and Herbed Cutlets

Nice, hadn't heard of these before. I see Mother's sells 'em so I'll give 'em a try.

Why not be the 1156974 person to praise Morningstar Farms?

Their Chik Strips are a low-carb, low fat, high protein godsend.

I tend to fry them in sunflower oil with chopped garlic and almonds, then add them to whatever veg stir fry I'm making.

Field Roast is more expensive, but the sausages are heavenly. I always tell people to start with the Apple Sage.

They're a bit more brittle and less "poofy" than other veggie sausages, but the flavor omg.

Mexican Chipotle, while not that ostensibly "hot", have a bad habit of putting me in coughing fits when a hot bit hits the back of my throat.

I don't like the apple sage AT ALL.

u crazee

/capone

I've probably said this before but fake meat has gotten sooooo much better than it was in the 80s. I'm sure they still sell mushy tofu "franks", but I remember when that was ALL there was, just about. Field Roast is certainly good and it'd be my undisputed fave in 1986, but there's some serious competition now and it's like my 3rd choice at Whole Foods.

The bad has gotten worse too, it seems. I had some fake chicken cylinders the other day that just about made me barf. Well, I had one and I tossed the rest out.

We're having fake meatballs w/ pasta tonight. I forget the brand name but they're awesome. You just have to be careful not to overcook them or they get mushy.

Also the Quorn Gruyere cutlets are INCREDIBLE.

Meatballs are "Nate's Zesty Italian Meatless Meatballs".

^^^
these dudes make chicken nugget style deals (all unbreaded) that is like bombass po boy material

<333

my girlfriend makes fun of me because i sometimes forget how to pronounce "quorn" >:(

quooo rrrrn?

vegetarian sausages: do they all have little cubes of fat in them, laboriously inserted to mimic the authentic sausage experience? maybe i just had/heard about bad vegetarian sausages and am now scarred.

last night for dinner we had some grilled field roast apple sage sausages w/onion and spicy brown mustard. that shit is INCREDIBLE.

preach it, omar
follow the field roast, people

I gave up fake meat, it has lost its freshness with me. Once you learn to make your own fake meat you can wean yourself off Morningstar or whatever. Their new-ish chicken in a bag is pretty good but i found you can get the same thing baking strips of tofu in breading. I feel so defrauded knowing I can make something similar at home!

Whoa whoa whoa, tofu is NOT Gardein strips.

I like keeping some Morningstar Chik'n Grillers in the freezer for relapse moments. Its more or less indistinguishable from ground chicken patties (aside from requiring more care in the pan). As with the Gardein products, chicken seems to be the easiest meat to mock up.

When I'm visiting the parent who lives a couple blocks away from an Adventist church with a vegetarian shop in the lobby I'll sometimes stock up on some canned Worthington Loma Linda Vegetable Skallops and Big Franks. The former is good sautéed with onions, peppers, veganaisse and salmon seasoning as a pasta topper, the latter is indistinguishable from hot dogs (for better or worse), aside from the usual fragility of the skin common to all the analogues.

Field Roast is great (but expensive), but anyone can get pretty close results with Julie Hasson's steamed seitan sausage approach and their own seasoning concoctions.

Field Roast is AMAZING.

breakfast burrito with soyrizo every single freaking day. soyrizo. freaking delicious. i am not a veggie person btw and haven't tried really anything else mentioned itt to my knowledge but this stuff is v. good

oh ENBB if you think field roast is good, wait til you try those Julie Hasson sausages

I cannot find soyrizo anywhere. I tried the Trader Joe's brand once but it just crumbled into ground soy chorizo stuff and was p greasy. Is soyrizo like this?

Pretty much. Its TVP swimming in veggie oil with chorizo seasoning: garlic, vinegar, cumin, oregano etc. I wasn't too impressed.

Stevie, yeah? I'll try them soon. :)

Oh, look, an apple-sage seitan sausage recipe.

The trick with the steamed sausage technique is low cooking temperatures. You just want the sausages in a steamer basket over simmering water, not a roiling boil. At higher temperatures you get a chewy bread like consistency. The Hasson video is nice for showing the technique (also, she's adorable). But various steamed seitan sausage recipes were all over vegetarian blogs a couple years ago.

Does anyone else love the semi-Satanic name of Morningstar foods? It's the whole reason I initially purchased the veggie corn dogs I later became addicted to.

Curiously, Morningstar began as the frozen foods division of Worthington foods, which was founded and run by Seventh Day Adventists. Since 1999 both are now owned by Kellogg's (itself founded by an Adventist). The denomination is fairly batshit with respect to creationism, the imminent second coming, disdain for dancing/rock n'roll, and avoidance coffee and tea, but I imagine they were a godsend (er) to vegetarians before it became more mainstream in the past couple decades.

my city's lone veg restaurant was founded by 7th dayers, tho they serve coffee and tea

That is really funny, I lived next door to a family of Seventh Day Adventists and they were pretty cool people! My mom told me they were "Seven Day Adventists" because they went to church every day. I don't think that is true. I think some or all do vegetarianism. I had no idea they rejected rock music, maybe some rock music.

Taco Bell Update

Love me some real meat, bloody rare Filet Mignon is the yum. Even Carpaccio (if GOOD) is the bomb! (sorry to gross out some of you) but since I found SMART DOGS have not had a made-of-meat "parts" hot-dog since. Go smart dog or go home!

lol amon

That is really funny, I lived next door to a family of Seventh Day Adventists and they were pretty cool people! My mom told me they were "Seven Day Adventists" because they went to church every day. I don't think that is true. I think some or all do vegetarianism. I had no idea they rejected rock music, maybe some rock music.

They only have to go to church on Saturdays (the seventh day). But they seem to like getting a jump-start, as their "Sabbath" begins on Friday afternoons. Not all of them are vegetarian, but most of them are. They are all, however, pretty damn keen on self-preservation. IIRC Loma Linda, CA (a city founded by and still run by the church) has the highest proportion of centenarians in the US. They pretty much invented the idea of "health food" and they don't drink alcohol or caffeine. As far as music goes, the Adventists I've known pretty much liked contemporary music, but were also well-versed in classical music (with many having been violin soloists and chorale singers).