What's the most disturbing thing a roommate has said to you?

This after I pulled the leaf out from under my kitchen table and found one end of it severely hacked up. Yes, the fella's still alive and is an up and coming Canadian hip hop artist. He also used metal utensils in my fairly expensive non-stick sauté pan and pretty much destroyed it. I put my fist through a kitchen cabinet door when I discovered this (better that than his head I guess).

(Bear in mind, this was about the third sentence he'd said to me.)

He was talking to the other guy, but just the same--. Nice and reassuring.

I suppose I could have said, "you don't know your waistcoat from your merkin, you presumptious little Beau Brummel," but, well, Beau wasn't Victorian, so strictly speaking, we'd be off period.

The answer was 'yes'. Technically he was a flatmate rather than a roommate, but he said it through the paper-thin wall at about 2am, so it counts.

"I am going to fucking kill you"

(by Scottish flatmate, who my boyfriend described as a loveable thug with a heart of gold when he came to view the place)

even though he's still one of my oldest friends in this town, unsurprisingly, we never lived together again

This was while stationed in Korea with the Army. I was laying in bed in a quonset hut that served as our "barracks" and shortly after we turned the lights out, one of our barracks buddies (there were about 20-30 of us in there) came up with that gem out of the blue. Needless to say, most of us laughed our asses off. (Excepting the double jointed ones, I guess)...

...while cackling and coming at my crotch with a pair of scissors. we got used to it after a while.

Said whilst propped up in bed, looking down at an empty floor. He was hallucinating that a dwarf was standing by his bed.

This kid never used drugs and was completely sober that night, even worse.

Bill was 35, I was 18. He had a son almost my age. He was the Biggest Loser Ever. And he said the above (and many more things) in the whiniest loser-guy voice EVER. Every lousy roommate situation I have ever had since has been a relative piece of cake (except the heroin addicts).

(During the good-bye dinner when me and my 4 male housemates moved out of our shared house, said right after I blushingly confessed that months earlier I had scratched the shiny red Ferrarri that the neighbour had deposited in our garage and hadn't told anyone.)

"It's YOUR job" to do x, y, z. I have my own house now (barely) ha ha ha.

Too much to recount, as discussed on 77

I had a male roommate once who had a wooden board decoupaged with a pic of his blonde Marcia Brady-looking mom from back in the '70s, looking to the left, and below it a separate photo of her identical twin, looking to the right. He was staring at it and said to me, "I don't know if you know, but every boy has very special feelings for his mother."

shut up

omg

West Virginia rocket scientist (really) flatmate for a summer, halfway through his tenure:

"So, you're Jewish? That's cool. My parents saw 'Schindler's List.'"

I had an argument with my first-year roommate in 1979 about Vance Packard's The Hidden Persuaders. He became increasingly upset that I viewed the book skeptically. "You're like a poster boy for Freud!" Not the meanest thing anybody's ever said, but I still remember it, so I guess it made an impression.

"So, you're Jewish? That's cool. My parents saw 'Schindler's List.'"

Deal breaker for me. OMG. Would move back home ASAP.