What very mildly kinky things do you do in bed?

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For example, my boyfriend likes me naked with just my stiletto knee-high boots on. Hmmm, sexy, if not so good for the sheets. Very mild kinkiness: it's the new hardcore!

― Very mildly kinky girl, Monday, 3 November 2003 17:52 (twenty-one years ago)

the crossword puzzle

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 17:55 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't understand why that is bad for the sheets? Are your shoes dirty? Are your sheets just really crap and easily ripped?

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

stiletto

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

The stilettoes leave little marks I find.

― Very mildly kinky girl, Monday, 3 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

I sometimes eat a bowl of cornflakes in bed.

― C J (C J), Monday, 3 November 2003 17:58 (twenty-one years ago)

sometimes I mast..er, nevermind

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 17:59 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, I understand the notion of the stiletto heel, Horace. As any number of ILXors can vouch, that's basically my normal footwear choice. My question still stands as to why that'd be awful for one's sheets.

Actually, we should discuss this further, what the fuck kind of position would one have to be in in order to totally jack up your sheets with your heels anyway? From behind or woman on top--your toes, not your heels, will be pressed on the bed. Missionary--this is why you wrap your legs around the dude or have them up or something? Who has their heels pressed down for any length of time during bed sex? If she was standing while doing it, this would make more sense but yet that would not damage the sheets unless for some reason her and her partner chose to stand on the sheets on top of their bed while fucking, which is very weird and I think beyond "mildly kinky" if just for the discomfort issue going on there.

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

STANDING on yr bed in stiletto heels will fuck up yr sheets

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:01 (twenty-one years ago)

Not that I have, uh, done this or anything.

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

before fucking, during foreplay

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:02 (twenty-one years ago)

A highly technical query, Allyzay, but I'm afraid all I can say is that the stiletto heel occasionally makes a mark on the sheets, that's all.

― Very mildly kinky girl, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

and it's annoying because, well, do you know how hard it is to replace Empire Strikes Back bedding!?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:03 (twenty-one years ago)

I am still calling bullshit. Unless you either have REALLY cheap sheets or your shoes are dirty and/or made of razors.

xpost Empire Strikes Back bedding is cheap!! I used to have them too!

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:05 (twenty-one years ago)

well, it looks like there's only one way to settle this Ally...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

another possibility = she is a midget

― mark p (Mark P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:06 (twenty-one years ago)

ladies....start your engines

― Skottie, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:08 (twenty-one years ago)

My wife likes me to drink hot chocolate and read The New Yorker. Grrrrrrrrr!!!

― @d@ml (nordicskilla), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the crossword puzzle

Which, on the one hand, seems really sexy at first, but then I would get all "helpful" about the crossword, and competitive, and I'd want to do it all myself. I'm really bad about doing crosswords with other people --

Hey, wait a minute, I'm pretty sure i posted something exactly like this about a year ago. Hrm.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't know. I kind of kick and have fucked up sheets before that way, while wearing non stiletto boots.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

You know, the soles of shoes, whether stiletto or not, tend to be not entirely clean. That's why we don't normally stand on clean sheets with our shoes. I think that this, very generally, was what I was driving at with the quip about the sheets. I will, however, make a closer observation next time I get into bed with my stilettoes on, to ascertain exactly what effect they have on the state of the sheets. But if memory serves, they occasionally leave small blackish marks. Just one of those tiny annoyances one must suffer for the sake of mild kinkiness. Now I think we've exhausted the topic of the sheets...

― Very mildly kinky girl, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

ha! i knew i wasn't the only one with those sheets!...oh. uhm.

well, they're still in a box since they won't fit on my new mattress..but..yeah.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

my wife likes me naked with Yeti fur boots on.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:11 (twenty-one years ago)

wait--which one you wears the boots?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

i like to crawl inside the carcass of a tauntaun to stay warm during sex.

― Carey (Carey), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:16 (twenty-one years ago)

I like to tell myself how sexy I am

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

me. then she likes to get the videocam out and I pretend to be running through the woods and she yells out "Oh my god its a saskquatch." Then I pounce.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

I knew no one else would want to talk about crossword puzzles and the sexiness thereof.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:17 (twenty-one years ago)

i take my shoes off at the door! if you wore your shoes in my bed, you'd better be willing to take my sheets to the cleaners!

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:18 (twenty-one years ago)

then she feeds me assorted wild berries while i make grunting sounds and scratch my yeti balls.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:19 (twenty-one years ago)

None of this surprises me, Chris.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

Mitch Hedberg: "I think Bigfoot is just blurry, that's the problem."

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:20 (twenty-one years ago)

You folk probably don't find Scrabble to be sexy, either.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

;)

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

I once nearly had a post-scrabble orgy.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

it depends where you put the pieces.

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:21 (twenty-one years ago)

triple SCORE motherfucker!

― teeny (teeny), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

my wife finds scrabble incredibly sexy. especially when I spell a five letter word, rather than a four letter.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:22 (twenty-one years ago)

I think all these vaguely amusing and yet ultimately deflective posts add up to one thing: the unconscious repression of very mild kinkiness and the important role it plays in our lives. I say: believers in very mild kinkiness, stand up and be counted!

That said, scrabble is a definite candidate for very mild kinkiness, if played in the right way.

― Very mildly kinky girl, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

wait, if you wear the boots, then who wears the pants?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:24 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, wait, some of believe in not-so-mild kinkiness, too.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Like, um, MsLaura.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:26 (twenty-one years ago)

but isn't ALL gay sex by default kinky just because of society's attitude?

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

Listen before NA or Nicole come on this thread I'm just going to mention it, btw: bbq sauce.

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:27 (twenty-one years ago)

got-damn

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

Gay sex qua gay sex is only kinky when done by straight men.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:28 (twenty-one years ago)

I once creative used a pink popsicle on a really really hot day

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

This thread is really unsexy btw.

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

xpost with a woman

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Monday, 3 November 2003 18:29 (twenty-one years ago)

Skipping 206 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

This thread seems to be more about things being mildly nauseating. Ugh.

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-10/463758/VCEVS-MVC-006S.JPG

― Sarah MCLusky (coco), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:38 (twenty-one years ago)

http://bitchcakes.topcities.com/images/crappyfountain.jpg

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 21:39 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.randomhouse.com/delrey/sample/sw_encyclopedia/akbar.gif

"Ah, THAT'S where I left my thongs!"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan, don't you browse here with images turned off? Didn't I read that today? Because if I am remembering that correct then I am highly disturbed that you went and clicked "Show Picture" on any of the shit on this thread!

― Allyzay, Monday, 3 November 2003 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.nethercraft.com/images/gallery/cthulhu-full.gif

"Oh, don't be so coy. Tentacle love, especially from a MUCH older man/god, is the BEST!"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

it's a crap!

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:41 (twenty-one years ago)

totally total xp

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.links.net/vita/trip/japan/food/tsukiji/pix/036.lg.jpg
This is a sex thread, after all.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:42 (twenty-one years ago)

Checking out the link for that Cthulhu sculpture and reading the artist bio:

...It was within the SCA that Tomak designed and built a few castles

RUN AWAY!

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:43 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.links.net/vita/trip/japan/food/tsukiji/pix/022-bumpycrabs.lg.jpg
Ally's "horrible STDs"?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan, don't you browse here with images turned off? Didn't I read that today? Because if I am remembering that correct then I am highly disturbed that you went and clicked "Show Picture" on any of the shit on this thread!

Most of them are very obviously fish pictures, though. (I haven't gone near the bukakke pics, though.)

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:44 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.links.net/vita/trip/japan/food/tsukiji/pix/020.lg.jpg
I'm not even sure what the fuck this is. Shrimp?

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:45 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.links.net/vita/trip/japan/food/tsukiji/pix/052-shishkebob.lg.jpg
Last one, I promise.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www61.pair.com/talbert/pipeimages/news-cthulhu.jpg

He's the Lovable, Huggable Elder God!

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

those are uncooked brine shrimp.

xp, and that is takoyaki!

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

xp galore

― gygax! (gygax!), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:48 (twenty-one years ago)

"I thought you said he was dead!"

"No...I said 'he sleeps with the fishes...'"

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:49 (twenty-one years ago)

I just turned images off, thanks solely to this thread.

― NA (Nick A.), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:53 (twenty-one years ago)

All the fish. The dude who took the pictures wrote captions too. He's quite the hero.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:54 (twenty-one years ago)

My pic up there is kinda distorted - looks like I've got a black eye.

― Sarah Mclusky (coco), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:55 (twenty-one years ago)

NA, you wuss. You should at LEAST see the pic of the goth girl who's WAY TOO happy with her erected Cthulu statue.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:57 (twenty-one years ago)

??????????

See Ally? I never saw the pic of the goth girl sexing up Chthulhu.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 21:58 (twenty-one years ago)

http://i.a.cnn.net/cnn/interactive/space/0306/gallery.unusual.fish/gallery.fangtoothMN.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

I AM NOT CLICKING ON THAT.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

It looks like an alien.

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:01 (twenty-one years ago)

for the record, Barrus posted that, not me.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:06 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonmo.com/images/photos/ocythoe-1.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:08 (twenty-one years ago)

http://unmuseum.mus.pa.us/alectron.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:10 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonmo.com/images/photos/bimacandshrimp.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2002/TECH/science/07/22/australia.squid/story.squid.tasmania.aap.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:11 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cybereef.com/Eyes/octo.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:12 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.wildsingapore.com/chekjawa/pixg/g002cx.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:13 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonmo.com/images/photos/cuttlyfaceDSCN5834.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:14 (twenty-one years ago)

http://members.screenz.com/bennypostcards/Manila%20Aquarium,%20Porcupine%20fish.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:15 (twenty-one years ago)

dammit. I wish that Duffzone still had images.

"Aw Squiddy, I only wanted to kill you cuz I heard you had gold in yer belly."

now, we're going back to kinky. will the few remaining ladies plz post a pic(from the catalog or whatever) of their fave thigh-high? hmm. I guess the guys can, too.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.cameldive.com/pictures/anemone-fish-big.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonmo.com/images/photos/PB-Teuthowenia-frontal.JPG

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:18 (twenty-one years ago)

Am I the only person who read this as "What very milky kinky things do you do in bed?"?

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:19 (twenty-one years ago)

Not even you? *whoot*

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:20 (twenty-one years ago)

What very milky kinky things do you do in bed?

man, we're covering all bases fetish-wise here, aren't we?

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://southsidecallbox.com/images/pish.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:21 (twenty-one years ago)

http://www.tonmo.com/images/photos/hlunulata.jpg

― Elvis Telecom (Chris Barrus), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:22 (twenty-one years ago)

What very milky kinky things do you do in bed?

man, we're covering all bases fetish-wise here, aren't we?

I AM LACTOSE INTOLERANT

― Lara (Lara), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

"What very milky dinky things do you do in bed?"

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:23 (twenty-one years ago)

I love how the JBR/Chris tagteam has TAKEN OVAH. They and Nicolars should face off in a challenge photo thread.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:24 (twenty-one years ago)

http://southsidecallbox.com/images/fishnet.jpg

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:25 (twenty-one years ago)

we're come full circle! SCENE!

THE END.

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Haha

― Sarah (starry), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

LOCK LOCK LOCK

― Kingfish (Kingfish), Monday, 3 November 2003 22:26 (twenty-one years ago)

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