Or, Some Witticisms From Learn'd Gentlefolk Of England, The Colonies &c.

I thought this was quite a good thread idea. I hate you all.

Now you know how I feel, Mark... sigh.

No, it is a good idea, I just couldn't think of anything clever as it's only 8:40 AM here.

i thought it was an excellent idea, however, i cant think of ONE THING sadly. im having a wee think though.

Bridget Jones Diary

In which our heroine, being neither untalented, massively overweight or in any other way encumbered with any of life's misfortunes, whinges at length about the unfairness of life in a manner more befitting of a regular newspaper column than a properly structured novel.

Chapter 1 - Our hero has an idea - An angry start - Sympathy from a stranger - Daybreak - Praise and confusion - A new direction? - Xpost

Sam, I kiss you! Pete, I frot you.

The Beach

Or, Thai Locals Cry "Foul!" As Pinch-Faced Twat DiCaprio Ensures Another Decade Of Patronising Trustafarian Sex Tourists Bespoiling Their Virgin Shores.

Why isn't there a band called the Sex Tourists?

it should be fronted by Michel Houellebecq

Mark, I don't really want any frottage from you.

Brilliant thread topic. If I wasn't so doped up on cold medicine, I think of a pithy sub title.

Lord of the Rings

Or Mr Tolkien's new mythology for the British Isles to restitute that which was destroyed by the Church of Rome

Mr Sinker's Opus

Or, The Decline And Fall Of The Roman Empire Reloaded, At Least That's What It Feels Like With All This Waitin'

haha i disdane gibbon and his rush job

('Twas not destroyed by the Church of Rome, but by the Norman Conquest)

< /history pedant >

(Funniest typoon in a while... originally typed that as "The Normal Conquest")

Fear the typoon!

How Late It Was, How Late
Or, Who Said That, I Fell Down Stairs Honest, Oh Go On Walk All Over Me

Every Philip K. Dick Book
Or, the main characters imagining it all, no he's not, yes he is, no he's not, yes he etc etc etc

Surely the Norman conquest solidified the hold of the Catholic church on england (especially the north) and drove out the last vestiges of Celtic Christianity.

Yes, but Greek and Roman myths persisted in Greece and Rome, even after the Greek Orthodox and Roman Catholic Churchs (respectively) Christianised the country! Ditto to Norse/Germanic mythology through Scandinavia and Germany!

But they weren't linked to a religion connected to an old order, recently conquered by a new one.

Or, How a good thread was rapidly derailed.

To talk about Tolkienish things, which is also good!

Multiple invasions - i.e. Celts by Romans, Romano-Celts by Anglo-Saxons, Anglo Saxons by Vikings and by Normans - effectively bannished the "original" mythology of England more than the church.

(Not to exonerate the church in everything. But it was not the only factor. There were so many competing mythologies by the time that the Church arrived that it really was a walkover.)

agreed, but I think the catholic struck the winning blow (think of your illustrious riotous ancestor) remember this is the week where the whole nation comes together to celebrate the burning of Papist plotters.

Hang on a minute, if you're going to start getting into Catholic/Protestant, sheesh, that's half a millenium along even from the Norman Conquest, so leave my ancestor out of it!

Christianity entered the British Isles at various times throughout history - the Celts were being Christianised even before the Saxon hourdes got anywhere near them!

And "original" Celtic mythology persists far more strongly in Ireland - which has much Christianity but very little Saxon or Norman activity. So I say it's invasions not the church.

(Sorry for derailing your thread, Mark.)

New York Trilogy - Paul Auster

In which a thirty-something intellectual who has read Beckett's Trilogy, and has also pinched Beckett's garbage can idea from Endgame, and who has also read about the life of Rimbaud, and has also read a lot of French stuff about signs and signifiers, and has also read Pirandello and Calvino, decides to write a metaphysical detective novel using incidents from his own life, and in which he himself is an incidental character, and in which he then, in yet another postmodern conceit, decides to go on an ILE thread and write his own subtitle to his own novel, wow, I'm really fucking with our concepts of reality aren't I, am I writing this subtitle to reflect what's real about my novel, or am I merely trying to construct something that looks like a faintly amusing post? Whatever the case, I have followed Quinn to the ends of the earth, or to Paris and back at least, I have followed all his instructions in his little red book to no avail, I have not found him, but wherever he is, I hope he has found what he's looking for and I wish him well. I am now going to write a silly novel about a dog.

Auster: do you hate Fantagraphics?

Ned Raggett: are you not my long-lost genius schoolfriend whom I always wished I could be? Can I marry your wife?

WUV

Cryptonomicon

Or, geeks rock- encryp'd!-the enigma-to build a new mammon-on the trail of the emporer's gold-entomb'd!-the submarine-Finland-unix phreaks-hunt'd!-Writer thinks 'Fuck it I'm bored, lets finish the book now'.

Weekend at Bernie's

Or, Let us now spend a few days wrestling a rapidly decomposing corpse into different outfits and positions while we attempt to frolic on the beach and mingle with the ladies.

The Corrections

Or, How A Woman Possessed Of Ill Husband And Widespread Family Did Personify Much Of The American Experience Over The Past Fifty Years In A Manner So Astute As To Make The Read Go "Ah, Yes, I see@.

'The Quiet American'

In which the noted Anglo-Catholic Graham Greene takes revenge on those naive colonials from across the Atlantic for pronouncing his name 'Graahm', in so doing preserving his nation's honour.

Notes From A Small Island

Wherein Our Hero Succesfully Maintains A Tidy Beard Whilst Commenting Wryly On The Matters Of The Day, In A Style Sure To Infuriate The Right Thinking Human Beings Of This Fine Land

The Godfather or:

"How I learned to stop worrying and love the Don"

Chris, I kiss you!

awww cheers Barry

Bosko Balaban Stats For Season

Name Bosko Balaban
Team Aston Villa
Total Appearances 0
Starts 0
Substituted 0
Total Minutes Played 0
Avg Minutes Played Per Start 0
Goals 0
Avg Goal Mins When Starting 0.0
Avg Mins Played/Goal Scored 0
Goals Scored As Sub 0
Number of Bookings 0
Total Booking Minutes 0
Avg Bookings Per Start 0
Number of Red Cards 0
Total Red Card Minutes 0
Avg Red Cards Per Start 0
Avg Booking Minutes When Starting 0.0