Matrix Revolutions: spoilers here!

Matrix Revolutions

OH HELLZ YEAH! TOM & ALLY & LEEE & EVERYBODY, LET'S GO!!!

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am I correct in thinking that Smith was originally a creation of the Oracle? How is she dead after the battle but then came back again at the very end? I guess she can just do that?

What about the little Indian girl; what kind of program is she, the program that makes the sun shine? That would explain why the machine world had no use for her. And what did her parent programs do again? Weren't they involved in power somehow? So maybe that would make sense, but then again wouldn't most machines be involved in power? But her parent programs seemed high-level.

I'll let Pete and stevem chime in here but Pete if you don't mention the consequences of the machine-God elections, somebody's going to do it for you.

all that said, the things above are also reasons to love it!! it is PULP, people!!! if this were a quentin tarantino movie (haha sorry i will forvever refer to quentin tarantino as "Quarantino" in memory of jimmy corkhill's last episode) you would be LOVING THIS SHIT. to wit: carrie-ann moss on intercom: "neo, bain is psychotic!!" *bain slams her head against door out of nowhere* Basically what I'm trying to say, and I'm stealing this from stevem I think, this movie is CAMP CITY, and reflects WELL on the first one rather than the first one reflecting badly on this. The Watchowskis lucked out in the first film with the can't-miss "what you think is real is fake" switcheroo, used to great effect by millions of shows, from Dallas to David Mamet. i personally would have loved another kink in the tail, another total reversal of reality, but whatever. it's about pumped-up emotion, nonsensical gravity to everything. and a big excuse for lots of this going kerflooie. the action scenes, the SENTINELS (very ill-named, we decided in the pub later, as they're not exactly the stay-put watching-out sort of creatures are they) are fucking HORRIFIC; you thought three or four was on your tail was bad news? i've had more sentinels than you've had hot dinners, matey) were really and truly pissing scary, and the last defense of Zion was, though undercut a bit by deus ex machina crap, very brutal and totally, totally psychedelic

basically i loved it - it answered NONE of the questions we had with the second one, pffft who cares, throw it out the window - but gave us the goods: Agent Smith, one of the greatest villains of all time, and Keanu: getting the shit kicked out of himself

"no it's just begun you little twerp" *pop pop pop*

i was excited at the beginning, because on the train platform it looked like Neo might show some sign of personality: he looked like he was genuinely if harriedly listening to the Indian family, and then he actually offered to take their bags!

"But my acting teacher said--"

"Shut up and kick something."

The bulk of the film is a battle within Zion between the machines and the sentinels. It is extremely drawn out and tedious. If you enjoy watching swarms of sentinels get magically broken to pieces by machine-gun fire for about 40 minutes then you will enjoy this portion of the film. If you like your action scenes to make any kind of sense in terms of strategy, physical reality, or even pseudo-scientific cohesiveness then you will be disappointed.

There were a couple of new characters introduced. The Oracle has been replaced by a new woman who's approximately the same but with darker skin. I'm not sure what the point of this was. I presume the old actor flaked out or died or something. A thinly-veiled excuse was made for this. ("I presume she has a new shell, then.") A guy imaginatively called "The Train Man", who basically looks like a bum (complete with crooked teeth), is introduced as the architect and master of a briefly explored "middle world" between the machine world and the Matrix. This world takes the form of a subway station (sigh) and Neo is imprisoned there by that french guy. His imprisonment lasts about two seconds, and seems to serve little purpose plot-wise (although his rescue did take up about 30 minutes! Hooray!).

There was never any real explanation given about, well, anything. Presumably Neo was able to manipulate the sentinels because he has some sort of magical psychic link to the machine's network (him being 'the one' and all). This jump from potential reality to plain mysticism is what pretty much destroyed the series for me. At the beginning of all this we're led to believe that what we see in the films could potentially occur in our universe. Then, with the second film, we're thrown into doubt by a bunch of ambiguous pseudo-philosophy. I still had hopes that they would rectify a bunch of plot holes and inconsistencies with the third film. I thought they would somehow try and justify the nonsensical, magical Neo by way of logic and reason. Unfortunately they've failed and failed spectacularly. Their approach to the third film is akin to attempting to put out a fire by pouring petroleum all over it: it won't do anything to save what's burning, but it'll sure look impressive.

Fuck the Wachowskis. Fuck them with a broom.

That's the one part of the film when I actually went "aww yeah".

I love this type of movie making, what do you want them to save anyway? I was hoping it would get even more out of hand and over the top.

Also why was the ship returning to Zion the only thing with one of those squid robot deabilitating blast things? You'd think the infantry would have one of those, or was it just that they didn't want to hurt there own machinerey?

I don't know what the fuck all the crusty reviewers and critics are talking about - I have no unanswered questions at this point. Yes, there were some quibbling points, but they either resolved themselves or became irrelevant rather quickly.

What we have here is a passion play. Jesus, Adam, Job, Mary, Leviathan, "it is done", Jesus (5 letters) = Keanu (5 letters) - Christ (6 letters) = Reeves (6 letters) [this is actually the theory my friend told me after we saw the original on the big screen for the first time - nevermind the resurrection bit]. I am undecided about if I like that turn of hand or not - but I did like the movie as a whole. I do think, however, that it helps to be thoroughly familiar with the previous ones first - and that means multiple viewings. (Not arguing for fanboy-dom, just watching and re-watching until you've ironed a lot of it out. With these movies especially, a first viewing inevitably a cursory one. No doubt the same goes for this film as well.)

You're disappointed that the real world wasn't another Matrix? Are you insane? The only thing I prayed for about this film was that that wouldn't be the answer. Too derivative, too stupid, would essentially nullify any caring you had for it. Now THAT is a bad way to go out. Deny it now if you must, but had that actually happened, I doubt you'd be defending it then.

And as for "room open for sequels" - well...um...wha? I sorta had the feeling when Trinity died that he wouldn't be too much longer for this world. Yeah, I guess we'll be "seeing Neo again" sometime (in the chronology of the film). But I have a hard time believing the Wachowskis will ever dig this one up again. They may make some completely questionable choices, but I don't think that they renege on them. I have no question, though, that there will be an "expanded universe" of comics (already in the works), videogames, and who knows what else.

and of course the obvious cross blast when Neo is sacrificed.

Ok, so Neo wakes up in Limbo, if Limbo was a train station. Turns out it's owned by the Merovingian. So Trinity and Morpheus go to the Oracle to find out where Neo is, see that someone else is playing the Oracle, go "wtf?!" and then "ok", and take Seraph to go beat the Merov until Neo pops out.

ASSKICKING! UPSIDE-DOWN NINJA GUN DUDES!

Merov says, "fuck you guys, give me the Oracle's eyes" (while drinking a Martini, so maybe he's got some weird plans), Trinity says, "fuck you", beats some minions, and puts a shiny M92 to Frenchie's skull. "Fine, you can have Neo". Belluci's perfect breasts nearly burst out and kill all nearby partiers. T/M/S pick up Neo, he goes to the Oracle all "wtf, I'm not jacked in" and she's all, "yeah, I dunno what's up, apparently you got in without a physical link, that's cool. Oh, maybe you should kill Smith, he sux."

So they all jack out and go back to the ship. Zion is about two episodes of 24 away from being invaded by less-than-friendly robots and wiped out. Ready the plucky rebel defenders! R. Lee Mifune acts like a total badass. Neo wanks for six hours, then decides he really needs to go to the machine city. He and Trinity take Niobe's keys to the Logos, and everyone else hops on the Hammer to go help the plucky rebels. Bane wakes up and decides to hitch a ride with Neo.

ASSKICKING! DRAMA! BLOOD AND GORE! DUNE REFERENCE!

Smith and ten other Smiths show up at the Oracle's place, bust up her little cookie operation, and then take over her body. Smith acts all freaky and shit, it's hella cool.

THE ROBOTS GET INTO ZION! MECHA VS. SENTINEL FIGHT! FUCKING AWESOME!

"I'm teh best pilot evar; into the maintainance shaft!"
"Don't fuck up my ship, bitch!"
"Whee! Morpheus, push the buttons and be my monkey!"
"Bitch is fucking up my ship!"
"Fuck! That's a lot of Sentinels!"
"Shoot the squiddies!"
"Whee! I'm an awesome pilot!"
"Wow, she's an awesome pilot!"

THE ROBOTS KICK ZION'S ASS! OH NO! THE PLUCKY REBELS ARE DYING!

"I hope they open the door so we can get in!"
"I hope we can open the door so they can get in!"
"EMP!"
"YAY!"
"Dumbass, now we're fuxed!"
""
"Help, Neo!"
"Help, Neo!"

Neo and Trinity get to the robot city, seem surprised that there are miles of giant fortified weapons. Fly up above the clouds, realize how fucking pale they are, and crashland.

EXPOSITION! TRINITY DIES!

"Dude, I want to be your friend."
"Humans suck!"
"Note to self, go back in time, and leave a garbage can over the robot overlord."
"OMG, a garbage can! What do you want?"
"For everyone to be excellent to each other!"
"Eat me."
"I'll kill Smith."
"...Serious?"
"Totally, dude."
"Ok."

THE SENTINELS LEAVE ZION! SOME OF THE PLUCKY REBELS SURVIVE! NO DANCING, THANK CHRIST!!!

"Thx, Neo!"
"Thx, Neo!"

SMITH VS. NEO, ROUND THREE
"Fucking die."
"No."
"KAMAIAMAIA!"
"Ow. Hug me."
"Yay!"
"*bzzt*"
"Fux! *pop*"

"I win, Architect!"
"Whatever, Oracle. Now everyone can be excellent to each other!"

HAPPY SUNRISE! CUE NON-RAtM SONG!

-Evan

P.S. Frankly, I thought it was all awesome

But I think that the thing I quoted was from the "Spoil Matrix Revolutions" thread.

Neither better or worse than the other two for me. I like them all. A lot.

Everything that has a beginning has an end. And then three years later, a massacre.

Again, did you really expect that it would be feasible to disconnect everyone all at once?

Midichlorians, dude.