"sorry. beer got a little excited." ("that's okay, we can just cuddle.")

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this is a thread where you quote your favorite lines from the simpsons or mst3k.

this is where we separate the wheat from the chaff folks. (geek-wise that is.)

― jess, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"you, turn out your pockets! just as i thought...atoms!"

― jess, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Manos: The Hands of Fate was filmed on location in a vacant lot."

Or...

"What's round and green-"

TOM: "An elf?"

"--and you toast it on a stick--"

TOM: "Oh -- a DEAD elf!"

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Up and atom!" "Up and at them!"

(Maybe you had to be there.)

― David Raposa, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Endut! Hoch hech!"

"And now, the crazy old man singers!"

― Phil, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I wash myself with a rag on a stick."

― Samantha, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'hey mitchell, word on the street is you're a jerk!'

― ethan, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"here's to the cause of and soloution to all of life's problems....Beer"

― Hank, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"mitchell, cummings doesn't like you. fact is, i don't like you either. why is that?"

"uhhhh...perhaps our brief but bitter affair?"

ahhhhh...mitchell.

― jess, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

mmmmm, open faced club sand wedge

― carsmilesteve, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'do i look as good as the girls in these magazines?'

'i dunno, got an airbrush?'

my-my-my-my GOD!

― ethan, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Manos! I can't believe you mentioned this, Ned. I have actually had bad dreams about Torgo, and still have problems driving by the Torco building in Chicago without reading the C as a G and imagining that giant-kneed freak sitting in a corner office smoking a cigar.

Manos has nothing on Ator: The Fighting Eagle, though. Or its sequel, Cave Dwellers, in which Ator runs behind a bush and fashions a 20th-century hanglider out of ... well, it's never really clear what.

― Nitsuh, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"father mcgrath, i thought you were dead!"

"i was!"

― fred solinger, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

and when the cave dwellers guy is hang- gliding, he goes past a bunch of power lines!

manos is actually a great film, i think. the scary thing about torgo is i kept expecting him to be revealed as having goat legs but it just NEVER HAPPENED. you're stuck with your own horrible imaginings of what's under there instead of being able to just laugh off some bad makeup effect and forgot about it. and what about the mike nelson as torgo pizza delivery to the mads bit at the end? 'let me just...get your complimentary...crazy bread' 'no! no! that's okay!'

― ethan, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

kids worship the darndest things!

― ethan, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Doh! A deer! A female deer!

― Bill, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

if he's so smart, how come he's dead?

― ernest, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I am familiar with the works of Pablo Nerudo."

― 1 1 2 3 5, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Can your grandfather do this? Hey! Hey!"

― Ally C, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

whats really grate are quotes like ally's which are completely useless outta context but utterly classic for those of us who immediately flash back on the scene in question. (i.e. my above about separating chaff...blah blah.)

"todays selections are: thelma and louise. the happy little elves meet the fuzzy snuggle bears. and the erotic awakening of s."

― jess, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Tastes like...burning!"

― Prude, Thursday, 4 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"This enormous woman will devour us all!"

― rainy, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

can't talk, coming down.

― Geoff, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

ULTRAsuede.

― ethan, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"hello super nintendo Chalmers"

"ooh look, a pointy kitty"

"down I go"

"It's cold, and there's wolves out here"

"I love you [punch] but I must kill you"

― chris, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Lisa's bad dancing makes my feet sad"
"What are you talking about Professor Frink?! They are clearly in the on position...See ON!"
"My cat's name is Mittens"

― Nick, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

-- Must kill the boy? -- Just because he's a vampire? -- He's a vampire? >scream<

― Alan Trewartha, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I wish I could write down Clancy Wiggum's laugh, that is a fantastic sound.

"I can't be a missionary, I don't even believe in jeebers!"

two minutes later....

"help me jeebers"

― chris, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"My name is Stacey, but you can call me [wolf whistle]."

― Anna, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I sleep in a drawer"

― alex t, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I drawed on mine"

― Jonnie, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"How dumb are you, Uncle Dad?" "Pretty dumb, that's for sure!"

― Colin Meeder, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Beer and no TV make Homer something something"

"Go mad?"

"Don't mind if I do"

― MarkS, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I hate every ape I see, from Chimpan-A to Chimpan-Z". Additionally this fine episode is on tonight.

My favourite ever Simpsons line however isn't even funny "I'm sorry Lisa but Bleeding Gums Murphy passed away in the night" - Yippeee. Which makes me think.....

― Pete, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Aw! Without the grease all you can taste is the hog anus!

― mark s, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I was free to wallow in my own crapulence."

― Andrew L, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Elmo knows where you li-ive!"

― Graham, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Look in the tunk."

― David Raposa, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"there was an optics festival and i wasn't informed? you go now!"

"'is it st. swithen's day already?' 'tis,' said aunt helga."

― fred solinger, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"oh no, the Germans are mad at me"

repeated ad nauseum during England's win last month, this was very funny, to a bunch of drunken fools anyway

― chris, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Knife goes in, Guts come out!"- but only when said by Japanese Animated Talking Fish plunging knife into self

― Mitch Lastnamewithheld, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Don't cry for me! I'm already dead!"

the word 'scientician'

― mark s, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Go banana"

― Jonnie, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Any one of these:

"arrr, she swallowed me whole"

"A quarter! he'll be dancin' for hours. Arrr."

"See Bottomless Pete, God's cruelest mistake - tis no man but a remorseless eating machine."

"Arrr."

― DV, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"I am disrespectful to dirt, can you see Im serious?"

"Get out this is no place for loafers, join me or die, can you do any less?"

"What a brave corporate logo!"

Mr Sparkle rawks.

― Mr Noodles, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"silly customer you cannot hurt the twinkie"

"drink duff [whispers] responsibly"

I love the word saxomophone.

all the gangsterspeak from the Goodfellas episode is top drawer.

― chris, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

what's the line when Skinner is chasing Bart, Terminator-like, through a raging river, etc.

Bart: "He's like some...non-stopping...school guy!"

― fritz, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"Trampampolene!"

― Jonnie, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

HOMER (at Post Office): Hello, my name is Mr Burns. I believe you have a letter for me...

POST OFFICE CLERK: Okay, Mr Burns. What's your first name.

HOMER (after long pause): I don't know...

― Paul Strange, Friday, 5 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

'Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics'

― Ed, Sunday, 7 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Skipping 7 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

I used to translate the Iliad. Now I wander around in scrunchy pants. (Terror from the year 5000).

― Sam, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

I'm feeling kinda low, Apu. Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? Some Skittlebrau.

Such a product does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.

Oh. Then just give me a six pack and a couple of packets of Skittles.

― Alan Trewartha, Monday, 8 October 2001 00:00 (twenty-three years ago)

one month passes...

Mafia Guy: Krusty, there's still the small matter of the money you owe us... forty eight dollars.
Krusty: Here's fifty.
Mafia Guy: And two your change, we thank you.

― rainy, Thursday, 15 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Hi, we're smashing pumpkins!

Hi, I'm smiling politely.

― Geoff, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Who's there?

Goons, hired goons.

oh, ok

― chris, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Ralph: "Me fail English? that's unpossible!"

Homer to Santa's little helper: "i guess you could say you're barking up the wrong Bush!" Homer's brain: "There you go Homer, the funniest thing you're ever likely to say and there's no-one around to hear it." Homer: "DOH!"

Homer: "mmmmmm, sacrelicious!"

Ralph: "My cat's breath smells of cat food!"

― katie, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"i wish to send this letter to the prussian consulate in siam via aeromail. am i too late for the 3:15 autogyro?"

"you there! fill up my car with petroleum distilate! and re- vulcanize my tires, post haste!"

"...'you can't treat workers like this! one day we'll rise up, and form unions, and get lazy and shiftless, and the japanese will eat us alive!'...'the japanese? those sandal wearing, goldfish tenders? take him away'...oh, if only we listened to that boy...instead of walling him up inside the old coke oven. oh well."

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i'm sorry, but this thread reads to me like the longest .sig file ever from a USENET poster that i'd never want to read.

― maura, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

killjoy.

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

someone had to say it!!

― maura, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

i know, i know.

(actually, i think i knew the guy that had this .sig file. oh, wither alt.comics.alternative?!)

― jess, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Superintendant Chalmers: Are those Krusty burgers?
Principal Skinner: No... they're... Steamed Hams
Superintendant Chalmers: So you call them Steamed Hams even though they're obviously fried?
Principal Skinner: Yes.

― rainy, Friday, 16 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

(paraphrasing): "... and what do we call giving everyone an equal chance when they're clearly not equal, children?" "COMMUNISM!"

― Tim, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

but moe, the dank, you can't get rid of the dank

― carsmilesteve, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

Every time someone suggests going into Dublin city to go to a nice bar instead of the Uni bar I always end up quoting that line. Or I did it once or twice anyway.

Marge: "I'm worried about Bart, I'd talk to him but I don't want us to smother him".

Homer: "Yeah then we'd get the chair"

Marge: "That's not what I meant"

Homer: "It is Marge admit it".

In the same episode Homer sings "Sunrise Sunset, and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon yes we have no bananas" Pretty funny.

― Ronan, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

"L, the losers in her wake, I the income she will take, T is for her toothful mouth, T is for her toothful mouth.."
"I dont know why, it's a perfectly crumulent word"
"It's a little airborne, it's still good, it's still good!"

― Michael Bourke, Saturday, 17 November 2001 01:00 (twenty-three years ago)

eleven months pass...

Dr. Hibbert (talking about Willy):"Now, he might slobber on your crotch"
Homer:"I've been around Scotsmen"

― Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 4 November 2002 04:01 (twenty-two years ago)

"Live fast, die young, leave a fat, bloated, ugly corpse"

"She awakes with a headache and the worst breath of the day..."

"Natural disaster behind them, they drive away in their speedy car"

― luna.c (luna.c), Monday, 4 November 2002 06:53 (twenty-two years ago)

MARTIAN: "Santa Claus, you're coming with us."
JOEL: "You're comin' to town."

― M Matos (M Matos), Monday, 4 November 2002 07:07 (twenty-two years ago)

Smithers: But Sir, the escape pod has two seats.
Mr. Burns: I like to put my feet up.

"It has the power to convert organic matter into inorganic matter!..."
"-- Like McDonalds?"

― Miss Laura, Monday, 4 November 2002 10:10 (twenty-two years ago)

three years pass...

"Sunrise Sunset, and the cats in the cradle and the silver spoon yes we have no bananas"

This has always bugged me, but is this just random Homer brain-stream (which is funny) or he quoting a montage of these tunes used in an advert or something????

So much of The Simpsons goes over us foreigners heads!

― Chewshabadoo (Chewshabadoo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 11:46 (eighteen years ago)

brain-stream

― electric sound of jim (and why not) (electricsound), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 11:50 (eighteen years ago)

'a lifeless planet... and yet...' 'rents are reasonable!'

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 12:00 (eighteen years ago)

"Smut!"
"THAT'S what I love!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:09 (eighteen years ago)

"simpson, homer simpson
he's the greatest guy in history.
from the
town of springfield,
he's about to hit a chestnut tree.

AAAAHHHHHHH!!"

― otto midnight (otto midnight), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:11 (eighteen years ago)

"so remember, kids: believe in magic...or i'll kill you."

― andrew m. (andrewmorgan), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:49 (eighteen years ago)

"Tonight, on Old Lady Gets Killed..."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:50 (eighteen years ago)

Wiggum: It's not every day you get to tranq out a freak on stilts.
Lou: We're livin' the dream, chief.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:56 (eighteen years ago)

why do girls think ralph wiggum is so funny

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

and not moe

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:57 (eighteen years ago)

"Torgo, you're the laziest man on Mars!"

― p@reene (Pareene), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:58 (eighteen years ago)

'every frame of this looks like someone's last known photograph...'

― and what (ooo), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 13:59 (eighteen years ago)

^^ still one of the all time greats.

"Manos was filmed on location in a vacant lot."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 14:02 (eighteen years ago)

was homer singing bright eyes?

― ((((((DOPplur)))n)))u))))tttt (donut), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 14:24 (eighteen years ago)

i don't understand this thread

― Ste (Fuzzy), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 14:34 (eighteen years ago)

moemar

― s1ocki (slutsky), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 14:37 (eighteen years ago)

(There's an earthquake-like rumbling)
Homer: Aaaaahhhh! It's the rapture! Quick, get Bart out of the house before God comes!

― Treblekicker (treblekicker), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 14:48 (eighteen years ago)

i call the big one bitey.

― Forksclovetofu (Forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 15:15 (eighteen years ago)

"Would you like some ... SOUP?"

"The first 10K kids get slide whistles, the second 10K kids get brass knuckles"

― zaxxon25 (zaxxon25), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 16:30 (eighteen years ago)

"And then...you WILL die!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 16:33 (eighteen years ago)

"so, i tied an onion to my belt (which was the style at the time)..."

― ath (ath), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 16:40 (eighteen years ago)

"Kill my boss?! Dare I live the American Dream?"

― Rickey Wright (Rrrickey), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:07 (eighteen years ago)

"i'm moving to fire island, dear..."

― joseph (joseph), Wednesday, 31 May 2006 23:30 (eighteen years ago)

Teacher: "Take out your red crayon"
Ralph: "I don't have a red crayon!"
Teacher: "Why not Ralph?"
Ralph: "I ate mine."

― Abbadavid Berman (Hurting), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:04 (eighteen years ago)

Gay? I WISH!

― Keywords: revenge, knife, granddaughter, demonic-possession, rock-star, eel (Aus, Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:08 (eighteen years ago)

Pepe: I love you, Papa Homer.
Homer: I love you, too, Pepsi.

― Trayce (trayce), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:16 (eighteen years ago)

"I'm here, Steve."

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:23 (eighteen years ago)

"They won't get soft or squishy!
Better eat 'em or you're a sissy!
Just pound them down
You stupid clown
They're WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD!"

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:27 (eighteen years ago)

< blaring trumpet riff >

"Hmm, Maynard Ferguson playing a ballad there."

― Eric H. (Eric H.), Thursday, 1 June 2006 02:32 (eighteen years ago)

Do you guys want to know the horrifying truth, or do you wanna see me hit some dingers?

DINGERS!

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 1 June 2006 10:41 (eighteen years ago)

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