having a wank not because you're feeling horny but because you're hoping it'll send you to sleep afterwards, classic or dud

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You may say that, but I couldn't possibly comment.

― Me, Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:27 (twenty-one years ago)

A more pertinent question is, "Having a wank to help you wake up in the morning, only to re-realise afterwards that wanks put you to sleep, C or D". Classic.

― Eyeball Kicks (Eyeball Kicks), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:29 (twenty-one years ago)

or that it will take your mind off smoking!

― Huckleberry Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:34 (twenty-one years ago)

hi calz

― Annouschka (Jody Beth Rosen), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:35 (twenty-one years ago)

or as a form of procrastination...

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:38 (twenty-one years ago)

I find a quick Youri both wakes you up, and sends you to sleep. Weird.

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:42 (twenty-one years ago)

plus, it can get you out of bed on the weekends.

"well, that's taken care of. Now, what to do today?"

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:43 (twenty-one years ago)

Sometimes when I'm sleeping by myself, I wake up in the middle of the night, can't get back to sleep, decide on the tranquilizing wank, but it never really works. I think it's because I've got to fully wake myself up in order to do it.

― Jonathan Z., Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:47 (twenty-one years ago)

punishing the robot makes you sleepy¿
i'm with jay, weekend mornings are classic - you gots all the time you need.

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

i've fallen asleep mid wank. that just proves that i don't find myself as sexy as i thought i would.

― Chris Hungus (Chris V), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:49 (twenty-one years ago)

it's also good for hangovers

― stevem (blueski), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:53 (twenty-one years ago)

i've fallen asleep mid wank

How does that happen? Focus, man, focus!

― Miggie (Miggie), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Both classic and dud as a form of procrastination when writing a paper.

― Jordan (Jordan), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:56 (twenty-one years ago)

http://image.allmusic.com/00/amg/pic200_web/drp100/p165/p16555ya7r6.jpg

― Chris Hungus (Chris V), Thursday, 6 November 2003 17:57 (twenty-one years ago)

NOTE: that picture will not necessarily assist your wanking.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:00 (twenty-one years ago)

Both classic and dud as a form of procrastination when writing a paper.

I did this far, far too often.

― jaymc (jaymc), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:09 (twenty-one years ago)

the Squier has spoken.

― Chris Hungus (Chris V), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:10 (twenty-one years ago)

stevem OTM.

― Broheems (diamond), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:25 (twenty-one years ago)

i've fallen asleep mid wank. that just proves that i don't find myself as sexy as i thought i would.

Perhaps you fantasise about the sleep fairy?

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:38 (twenty-one years ago)

Change tactics, Chris. You know, sweet talk yourself a little. Indulge in a little foreplay. Tell you how handsome you are, how witty, how really really hot you are. Have a drink, maybe take yourself out to dinner. Use the other hand. Relationships are work, you know - don't let you get bored with yourself.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:49 (twenty-one years ago)

harf harf.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

hairball?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:52 (twenty-one years ago)

if i have a drink i'll be beating the thing to a pulp.

― Chris Hungus (Chris V), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

RETURN OF *THE THING*

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:54 (twenty-one years ago)

Well, I tried.

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:55 (twenty-one years ago)

*koff koff KAFF*

*ahem*. I'm all better now.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:56 (twenty-one years ago)

Are you missing two vertebrae?

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:57 (twenty-one years ago)

why? have you seen them?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 18:58 (twenty-one years ago)

Nope *wipes barbeque sauce guiltily off chin*

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:02 (twenty-one years ago)

How can a wank under any circumstances be dud? I mean, aside from the occasional wanks-with-steel-wool-sponge.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:03 (twenty-one years ago)

Nick Southall to thread.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:05 (twenty-one years ago)

Does wanking make you tired or more awake? Does it have the same affect in that regard when you actually have sex with a person?

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

I don't think so.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:10 (twenty-one years ago)

sex is alittle more of a workout.
also it is more expensive.

― dyson (dyson), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:21 (twenty-one years ago)

And, somehow, less *personal*.

― Lara (Lara), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:25 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard that coming makes men tired afterwards, but it energizes women. I think that's a fable. I sleep quite well after I get off.

― Jeanne Fury (Jeanne Fury), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:30 (twenty-one years ago)

Wanks relieve anxiety. So, um yeah, there's truth to that. Although the side effects mid-wank can cause symptoms of panic if you have an issue with that.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:31 (twenty-one years ago)

"side-effects"?

― Broheems (diamond), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:37 (twenty-one years ago)

I think DB's talking about the sparks and the sonic booms.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:38 (twenty-one years ago)

That's all you get?

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:39 (twenty-one years ago)

Those are the things that might cause panic.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 19:40 (twenty-one years ago)

it defintaely is a waker upper. or , at night, a putter to bedder.

― Mike Hanle y (mike), Thursday, 6 November 2003 21:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I've heard that coming makes men tired afterwards, but it energizes women. I think that's a fable. I sleep quite well after I get off.

jeanne i have the same experience. and in reply to the thread question, classic.

― The Lady Ms Lurex (lucylurex), Thursday, 6 November 2003 21:40 (twenty-one years ago)

it's sad but true - ejaculating late in the evening *after* a bit of exercise (i.e. sex rather than a tommy) is an absolute guarantee of sweet sweet sleep. Sadly.

― Mark C (Mark C), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:00 (twenty-one years ago)

'Exercise' = looking for 'just the right' porno

― dave q, Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:16 (twenty-one years ago)

"GODDAMN KAZAA! WHY WON'T THIS 'FIND MORE SOURCES' BULLSHIT WORK?!"

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 22:40 (twenty-one years ago)

'Youri': if this references the French footballer, it is simply the only the thing I'm going to call masturbation.

― Jim Robinson (Original Miscreant), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:11 (twenty-one years ago)

How can a wank under any circumstances be dud? I mean, aside from the occasional wanks-with-steel-wool-sponge.
-- nickalicious (nza2342...), November 6th, 2003 7:03 PM.

Nick Southall to thread.
-- Lara (lara_byrn...), November 6th, 2003 7:05 PM.

What are you saying?!

― Nick Southall (Nick Southall), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:26 (twenty-one years ago)

Those are the things that might cause panic.

Sigh.. none of you have obviously tried bungee jump wanking then... what do you do on the weekends, guys, watch water drops mate?

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:29 (twenty-one years ago)

I have never noticed falling off of a bridge while attached to a gigantic rubber band as a side-effect of wanking. Clearly I'm doing it wrong.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

I watch water drops wank. It's a bit pervy, I'll admit.

― Casuistry (Chris P), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Yes, Dan. You're not fastening the rubber band in the right place.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:32 (twenty-one years ago)

Dan has to go back to Extreme school.

― donut bitch (donut), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

*insert 50 pics of "EXTREME WANKING" here*

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:33 (twenty-one years ago)

Mmm. Stretchy.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:34 (twenty-one years ago)

Your search - extreme wanking - did not match any documents.

Aww.

― Dan Perry (Dan Perry), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:35 (twenty-one years ago)

That's not sending you to sleep though, is it?

Perviness is seriously underrated.

(xpost glory)

― Nichole Graham (Nichole Graham), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

Your search - extreme wanking - did not match any documents.

have you tried google.de?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:37 (twenty-one years ago)

extreme wanking we're looking for, not extreme wankers

― oops (Oops), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:46 (twenty-one years ago)

So you're leaving, then, right?

― luna (luna.c), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:47 (twenty-one years ago)

Just received spam mail:

From: Leon Meyers
To: ne@kuci.org, ned@kuci.org
Subject: Having trouble getting to sleep? AMBIEN and SONATA ONLINE!

Wanking apparently no longer good for Leon.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 6 November 2003 23:52 (twenty-one years ago)

So, are you guys wanking before going to bed tonight?

― Miggie (Miggie), Friday, 7 November 2003 02:40 (twenty-one years ago)

you have to ask?

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Friday, 7 November 2003 02:51 (twenty-one years ago)

I need to be sure I'm not alone on this journey.

― Miggie (Miggie), Friday, 7 November 2003 02:59 (twenty-one years ago)

The utilitarian wank is the best type. Wanking because you really are a seething whirlpool of sexual frustration only leads to further sexual frustration.

― Jonathan Z., Friday, 7 November 2003 09:31 (twenty-one years ago)

I should have tried this last night. Honestly, my freaking neighbours were at it at TWO IN THE BLOODY MORNING!!! They were so loud they actually woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep.

I should have gone and put the DVD freeze frame feature to use on Kings & Queens but HSA probably would have been annoyed if he came home to find the remote all sticky.

― Citizen Kate (kate), Friday, 7 November 2003 09:34 (twenty-one years ago)

EW! (If understandable.)

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Friday, 7 November 2003 16:43 (twenty-one years ago)

EW nothing. tell us more of these sticky remotes. it's a boring friday, and i can't really revive the Masturbation thread at work.

hee hee. and that's not a shitty euphemism, either. Yet.

― Jay Dee Sah Mon (Kingfish), Friday, 7 November 2003 17:30 (twenty-one years ago)

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